A TALE OF A FOODIE

A kitchen always fascinated and attracted me. Nevertheless, My early days of being in the kitchen were to just eat and relish the taste of yummy food that my mom prepared for me. It was a routine for me to wake up to the aromatic realm of food prepared from the kitchen. I actually recollect the good old days when my mom woke me up with just the smell of a morning tea.

Being born in a traditional south Indian family – my home always smelled of South India delicacies like Sambar, Rasam etc. My holidays morning were awakened by the fresh smell of coriander leaves which my mom put in the Sambar which is bubbling on the stove. I always adored the way she cooked, imagined that one day I would be a fine cook like her.

I was mocked many times being a foodie. I ignored many and actually crushed many of the faces in my dreams when they tease me being a foodie. A good appetite is for the blessed ones – And I consider myself blessed for the same.

Even though I had small and fine encounters at cooking at home even before I got married. The real encounter scared the hell out of me like every other newlywed. Still, I just walked into the battle room like an unmatched warrior with the hope to accomplish my reign in the Kitchen.

It was a long struggle for perfection and imperfection for a while. Thanks to those who were patiently waiting for me to deliver perfect un-burned and well-balanced food on the table. Like all, I never enjoyed cooking then, as it was just a burden on my shoulder.

Things changed when I actually got to get good appreciation, a kind gesture that actually motivated me to cook better. My journey as a foodie propelled to become a more like a chef now. I enjoyed the aroma that actually filled in my kitchen while I cooked. Bringing the fresh memories of my mom’s kitchen.

I knew cooking was truly an art- I wanted to be an Artist then.

I took the baby steps in learning new methods and even started baking for my kids. Repetitive failure attempts and lots of wastage and finally I enjoyed the “true joy of cooking“.

Being a foodie, I luxuriate in relishing every taste my tongue could find. I loved experimenting all kind of cuisines. Fresh and new tastes always excited me. Even though I am scared of eating different varieties because of few uncanny incidents, I enjoyed watching all kind of cookery shows.

I recollect my days when actually I ended up cooking things I see on TV but yet landed up in totally unmatched dishes on a table which looked not even close to what it looks in magazines and online portals. I finally convinced myself that food colors are not my cup of tea- it is just Photography skills ;P.

Serving is my joy when it comes to food. I cannot see anyone starving or go empty stomach, hence cooking turned me completely into a mom. I actually transformed into someone who can actually eat half or even sleep empty stomach by letting others fill in well.

Being a foodie completely changed my life aspects.

TRAITS OF A RELIGIOUS FOODIE

Google defines a foodie as  “A foodie is a person who has an ardent or refined interest in food and alcoholic beverages.” However in my dictionary, a foodie is a person who need not have a refined taste but is madly and blindly in love with food and can be even obsessed with its thoughts such as he may not only eat but would also work, talk and sleep with food! With this thought in my mind, let me compile here a hilarious fact file of all great foodies based on my personal observations and experiences. So here it goes:-

1. Foodies are more interested in satisfying their taste buds’ desires than their stomachs’ actual need.

2. Foodies have an awesome diet plan. Respecting the word ‘healthy diet’, they will choose nutritious foods, however the additional layers and flavors added to such healthy foods will be so fatty that the whole diet becomes a mock! Some of the foodies even wake up feeling motivated about how they would get their bodies in shape by controlling their tongues but you ask them by the end of the day when they end up on their usual diet, their reply would be:- “Oh, looks really don’t matter!’’ or they would say ,“There is only one life, so we need to live extravagantly!’’Believe me there is actually no guilt..lol.

3. Foodies might indulge in prudent budgeting while buying necessities but when it comes to delicious food that seems tempting, there would be no second thought irrespective of whatever be the price!

4. For all the youngsters like me, if we are ever given the option of choosing between gorging on our favorite dish or going on a date with our crushes ; guess what will we choose!?Of course food is more important, chuck off the date!

5. Foodies  are never fussy about food. They enjoy all kinds and varieties of cuisines and dishes. Also they love experimenting new tastes when it comes to food!

6. Yummy food makes foodies more happy than expensive gifts!

7. Foodies serve their guests well. If they like some particular dish, they would desperately want all their loved ones to taste it and eventually like it too!

8. If foodies are ever asked about their favorite dishes or cuisines, they would land in deep speculation  to pick one out of the hundreds.

9. To check if one is actually a foodie or not, just let the guests be out or don’t  give them the regular glances, one would observe that foodies would be the first one to attack the food and devour them!

10. No matter how full one is, the foodie will always have an extra space in the stomach to taste the unexplored!

11. This one is a warning in disguise that is never ask a foodie to just taste a dish, he may end up licking up the whole plate!

12. This is a comical truth that some of the foodies keep aside their brains while devouring their favorite dishes. Rather they ignore their inner voice giving themselves excuses. For example , they know street food may not always be hygienic or healthy yet they love to overeat justifying themselves that it is just once in a while !

Thus now you can probably guess that the way to a foodie’s heart goes via delicious food! So now my I leave it to my dear readers to decide the extent to which they agree with my funny facts mentioned above!

I Hope you all enjoyed reading the fact file.

BE FOOD WISE

A couple of months back, I stumbled upon an old dusty book – ‘Food is Your Best Medicine’ by Dr. Henry G. Bieler. Curious about its content, I got it issued from the library and started reading it. Each page spelled wisdom! Dr. Bieler was a physician who shot to fame in 1965 with this book. On discovering the wonders of a good diet, he stopped prescribing medicines to his patients and switched to diet therapy. His colleagues, at that time, thought that he had lost his mind. But, as he describes case after case which responded to his way of treatment with food, one finds much sense in it. Bieler’s thesis was simple: you are what you eat, and opting for whole natural foods – as opposed to fast and convenience foods and sugary desserts – is crucial to optimum health.

The wisdom imparted by Dr. Bieler in his book is unchallengeable! But as I reflected and introspected, I realised that it is definitely not easy to give up our daily food habits for a stricter dietary regimen though the benefits are manifold to reap. It would sure take a super strong determination to follow the healthy diet pattern.

As it is said – some eat to live while some live to eat! Both groups co-exist in harmony unless of course either group moves towards the extremes.

The world scenario has greatly changed. From agricultural food products to processed, packaged and genetically modified (GM) food products, is quite a transition. Street food tickles the tongue more than hygienic home-cooked food. A bag of wafers and a bowl of popcorns make the day for teens and adults alike. Gelatos, faludas, sundaes and the like – rule the day. We call it advancement. Yes, they indeed are aftereffects of the various food and innovation revolutions that constantly hit the world.

To suggest to let go of all fun foods would be an extreme prescription that would remain limited to the extent of this article. The key word however is ‘moderation’. Afterall health and happiness are close cousins! To help them remain closely bonded, moderation is of utmost requirement. Eat what suits your biology, enjoy eating, but keep a check on how much you are eating.

The Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations observes World Food Day on 16^th October every year. This year’s theme was – Change the future of Migration. Invest in food security and rural development. The world today is more volatile than it was ever before. Each year the newspapers are flooded with news about refugee crises and migration issues. The developed nations have begun to feel burdened by the influx of migrants. In such a scenario, emphasis on food security and rural development is a must.

In cities, people don’t generally feel the hunger pangs as the rural people do. Even after massive developments and food revolutions, people especially in Asian and African countries die of starvation and malnutrition. What then is our duty as aware citizens? Should the policy framing and implementation be left to the sole prerogative of the governments?

Tiny steps make way for mega changes. Even as we guard our own dietary patterns, let’s also focus on the those hungry and starved people around us. Not all of them can be seen begging for alms. So, the challenge is to identify them and cater to them.

Another crucial value that needs to be inculcated is to avoid wastage of food. Here we waste food and there someone dies without a morsel! Not that avoiding food wastage would instantly reduce hunger deaths. But, it would awaken our conscience and make us grateful for every bite we take.

So, eat healthy, eat in moderation, eat happily without grumbling and share what you eat to show your love and care for those who have not many to care for them.

TELL TODAY THAT YOU LOVE THEM, BEFORE THEY ARE GONE

We were all set to celebrate the 50th marriage anniversary of my Buaji and Fufaji (paternal aunt and uncle). It was going to be a great event with most of the family members getting together for the big celebration. Dresses and gifts were decided and I was making a photo album for the “Golden Couple”. Creating a customised gift takes time and when the network or website issues come, then the effort grows manifold. It was late night when I was having trouble in putting up a picture on a page. I gave up finally and went to bed, thinking to start afresh the next day.

It was in the morning when my mom called me up. I thought the call must be regarding the golden celebrations only, because that’s what we have been doing lately, planning what to wear and what to gift. When I answered the call, my mom was freakishly crying and told me Fufaji is no more.  I couldn’t believe my ears and asked her twice. My Fufaji, who was a retired Major General passed away the night before, just around the time I was preparing the​ photo album. As everyone else, I was shocked. I just couldn’t believe that it was possible. I thought instead of making the photo album, I could have called him up a day before to tell that  he was special and I loved him. But, it was too late.

Death is the bitter truth of life. I wanted to talk to Buaji. I usually feel shy in calling up the relatives of the deceased, don’t know how to console. But I don’t know where the courage came and I called up my Buaji instantly, as I wanted to tell her that we all love her and are there with her.

We didn’t want to leave Buaji alone on the day of her 50th marriage anniversary, so it was decided that we all will get together on that day and have an evening of singing prayers, remembering the departed soul.

It was a gloomy day. We all shared our feelings and recalled our memories with Fufaji. The lady who was called for the bhajans asked us to feel the changes that are there in the house and in our lives within him. Almost everyone was shedding tears on remembering this. And we all stopped crying the moment she said this- “How will the departed soul feel if you cry for him? He is not here with us physically, but feel his presence. He wants you to stay happy.”

My grandparents passed away when I was young, not able to understand deeply the pain that comes when anyone leaves you.  

The first death that I saw was after my marriage. My husband’s Naniji (grandmother) was not keeping well and had become too fragile. We knew she would go soon, but I wasn’t prepared that she will go like this. I was sitting beside her, when all of a sudden I heard her sound that as weird. I was alone with my younger sister- in-laws at home that time.

“Naniji, are you ok?”

No answer.

“Naniji, you want water?”

No answer.

I took her head in my lap, kept rubbing her head, chest and hands.

“Naniji, say something​!” I was shouting and crying simultaneously.

I could sense something was wrong, but I didn’t want to accept that easily. I kept her head in my lap till my in-laws came and told that she has gone. I felt helpless. I only thought if I could have spent more time with her.

“Death is not the opposite of life, it is a part of it”, everyone has to face this harsh reality.

Life is short and uncertain. Don’t wait for big moments or occasions. Tell your beloved ones, your near and dear ones, that you care for them, you need them and love them.

“Cherish those in your life because you don’t know when they won’t be there anymore.”

WORDS AND SILENCE BOTH GIVE COMFORT

It’s so easy to console a toddler. My son when he was barely 2 years old. He used to come running to me with all his problems. And it was so easy to comfort and console him. A small kiss used to make the pain go away. A small promise used to make all troubles vanish. He truly believed that I had solution for all the problems in life. I wish life was that simple.

In adult life we can’t wish away setbacks and problems and losses. Sometimes the loss is so huge that it feels like life has just stopped. Business going bust or death of a loved one or heartbreak the list is endless. It  feels like the carpet has been pulled away from below your feet. And we will never find our footing again.

If a friend is going through such a situation how will you help?

First and foremost words of courage, comfort and love do help. But generally what happens is where the loss is too recent or when you are actually going through the problem these words feel superficial. But somewhere deep in the heart they do register. And give inner strength to people. I will give you an example. A friend of mine was struggling with a heartbreak. She had just found out that her spouse was cheating on her. And while speaking to her I said the usual phrases “don’t worry everything would be all right”, “whatever happens, happens for good”, “God is there” and she lashed back at me and said “you don’t even know what I am going through, my world has fallen apart, how can you be so sure that things will be ok? You don’t understand me”. At that time I had put up with her bad mood but I knew her anger was not directed at me. Her anger was because of the situation she was in and it was a kind of defense mechanism that was making her strong from inside. And months later she confessed that she was angry and hurting from inside and my words were comforting her even though she was not ready to admit it then.

This brings me to the second point. Give an opportunity to the affected person to vent out his feelings. Be there for him. Just sit and listen. Like if a friend with an active life style, is suffering from some illness and is confined to bed. He is bound to be grumpy and angry. Listen to his issues. Let him whine for sometime. A patient ear is what he wants. He already know all the logic and realities. A little pampering is what he expects. Let him play the victim card for sometime and then gently bring him back to reality.

Another way in which you can help is by giving the person time to grieve. Like if there is a death in the household. Help in the day to day chores of the house. Give the family time to grieve and compose themselves. These days the neighbors are closer than relatives. So things like providing food or offering to take care of small kids or helping out in getting the bank formalities done go a long way in helping the bereaved. And these gestures are remembered for a long time by them.

CAN WORDS SOOTHE PAIN?

Hope everyone is fine and hope it’s a beautiful day for everyone.

Just the way no life can survive without air and water, no soul is untouched by Pain. Death, heartbreak, rejection – only the situation in life changes but not the result. It’s same every time – PAIN. And I know there would be no disagreement on this statement.

And when pain is inevitable there are ways to deal with it.

So my question is “How do you deal with pain?”  Rather I would like to ask “what do you do to soothe pain of others?”  There’s a reason supporting my question – a person in pain needs a pull from an external factor in the form of friend or family.  So in that capacity of a friend or family what’s your tool to soothe pain of your loved ones?

If you ask me, it’s plainly plain Words for me, spoken with warmth.

Having said that I would like to share with you all an incident that took place more than a decade ago.

She was my friend (it’s been more than a decade  since I last spoke to her and no more in touch even on social media, tried to trace her but all futile 😔).  She used to live just opposite to our apartment in Delhi.  Her name is Hema, the only girl in the family of five –  a father, mother and two brothers.  Her mother was confined to bed for years even before I knew her.  Her day used to begin with taking care of her mother and ended up doing so apart from handling all the household chores with close to no support from her brothers while her father was busy with earning for the family.

I had an immense respect for her for the young girl she was and shouldering the responsibilities of home is something I could have never mustered courage for.  And similarly she found solace in my company.  Her mother was also fond of me as I used to spend some time with her too.

Days were passing happily and one day I heard something unusual from Hema’s place. First I thought relatives might have visited them and everyone is having a good time, sharing good laughter.  A glance and a better observation revealed that those were not gags but painful sobs.  Aunty was no more!  I was shocked as I met her after two days.

I immediately hurried up to their place.  I saw Hema there, devastated, clinging to her mother crying inconsolably.  That nearly broke my heart too to see her in such a pitiable state. But I have to console her, it’s my responsibility.

I hugged her and said “I won’t ask you to stop crying or wipe your tears for your pain is beyond imagination for me. I am not sure if I should say this or not, this is in a way a freedom to your mother; freedom from all the pain and agony she has been silently suffering for so many years. She might not have said this but she was equally worried for you as you were for her. And if you believe that your mother is with you eternally then you should show her your brave face because all her life she wanted to see you happy. Let the tears flow to ease out the burden but promise me you would live the way  your mother wanted you to because she is from somewhere watching you”

My words are no doubt clichéd but they did have an impact on her. The turbulence on her face seemed to fade out and a calmness took over. Her loss is is beyond what words can explain but this is the truth of life. And her mother did want her to be happy and her agony made her curse herself for her daughter’s plight. In a way it was a liberation to the poor soul.

I firmly believe that words have power to soothe. There are many instances and losses in life which are beyond one’s control hence any apparent help is impossible. Then how would you convey that you are with your loved one’s in their times of distress.  A warm hug, tears and your soothing words will convey your concern.

BE YE COMPASSIONATE COMFORTERS

Ever had those nervous moments such as waiting for your turn to face the interview panel or being the next in line for a stage performance? Clammy palms, fidgety toes, twirling hair ends or biting nails?? Been there?

And did you feel better if someone came by and wrapped an encouraging arm around you or gave you an encouraging pat on the back? I bet you did feel a lot better!

Humans need comfort at varying times. Stress, anxiety, disease, worry, financial debt, death – all call for comfort and consolation. At times just a silent presence is the best comforter for an aching soul. While at other times, words or acts of comfort are necessary.

Well rehearsed words of comfort or a gesture of formality serve to console the speaker/doer more than the person(s) in need for comfort.

As I write this, I am reminded about a person called Job mentioned in the Bible:

He lived in a place beyond present-day Euphrates. Job has been described as a man who was ‘blameless and upright, and the one who feared God and shunned evil.’ He was a wealthy and respectable man with a happy family. However, in one day he lost his enormous wealth by natural and human hazards. As if that was not enough, all his ten children died at one go when the house in which they were feasting together, collapsed. To add to his misery, Job developed a horrible skin disease and his body was covered with stinking sores. Instead of standing by him during these tough times, his wife taunted him saying, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” Job’s pain and suffering was intense.

At this juncture, three of his friends who got the news of Job’s misfortune came to visit him together to mourn with him, and to comfort him. But when they saw Job from far, they could not recognize him. At this they lifted their voice and wept. They could not believe their eyes! So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.

After these seven days of silence, each of them spoke up – lengthy speeches. Each of them jumped to various conclusions. The common essence of their speeches was that – only the wicked suffer this way and that Job was suffering because he had done something wrong. They repeatedly encouraged Job to admit his wrong and repent so that God would put an end to his suffering and bless him again. After hearing them out, Job says, “What miserable comforters, all of you!”

Oftentimes, aren’t we quick to jump into conclusions on seeing people in distress? At times, yes the wrong-doing of the person may have led to disastrous consequences. But, that is not always the case. As in Job’s case, we see later, that it was a test of his faith and uprightness and not a punishment for any wrongdoing.

We do not have the answer to all the whys of life – in our own lives and in those of others. A newly married girl loses her husband – why? The much awaited baby is born with a fatal disease – why? Cancer robs a little girl of her loving father – why? A family travelling for a good cause die in accident – why? Parents shot dead in a case of burglary, leaving the children as orphans – why?

Well, we don’t have the answers to events that God in His Sovereignty permits to happen, though He never causes them. ‘Why do bad things happen to good people’ is an often asked question. There is a book by this very name written by a Jewish Rabbi named Harold S. Kushner in which he tries to reason out and come to terms with the death of his son at the age of 14 in 1977 of the incurable genetic disease, Progeria.

Reasons are not always necessary to comfort and console others – a heart of compassion is.

Bear in mind the following when attempting to comfort and console anyone in distress:

• Do not attach meaning to any event just by looking at the surface of it
• Pause and put yourself in the same situation
• Do not be hasty to speak too much
• Do not add spice to sad events and spread them all around
• Even if the consequence is a clear action of wrong doing, do not jump to get the credit for pointing it out
• Speak the language of comfort that the person would understand – silent presence, a warm comforting hug, actions of comfort, few non-judgemental words of consolation
• Do not accuse.
• Do not point to generational flaws (mistakes of parents or grandparents)
• Do not be hasty to provide solutions
• Make your presence a balm of comfort for the suffering person
• Allow the person to give a vent to his/her feelings (may be shouts of anger, tears of sorrow, denial, stoic silence)
• There isn’t an apply-to-all-situations formula for comfort. So, act according to the situation.
• Most importantly, pray for the person. The God of comforts will provide the peace that passes all understanding.

Anti-depressants, comfort foods, alcohol, drugs and other various addictions never bring the comfort that the heart requires. They, at best, numb the pain for a while. If you are hurting today and there is none to comfort you, I want to assure you that your Creator cares for you and will make Himself known to you if you lean on Him.

Let us be alert towards hurting people around us – in our families, workplaces, neighborhoods and even our helpers. It doesn’t cost to comfort. Rather it is richly rewarding to restore a soul from the depths of distress to the heights of relief!