So what is the “Lok kya kahenge” or “What will people think” thought process?
It is basically a phrase which underestimates one’s ability (not necessarily imposed by society always but more originating from one’s lack of confidence) It does NOT allow us to do what we want to do.
It is a given fact, whatever we have to do – will never be of someone else’s taste, more so if it is not to their liking – but what I haven’t understood until now is – Why would such a feeling come to a person in the first place? Is it just the way we are brought up – the Indian mentality, lack of confidence or simply something we blindly follow?
The millennial rarely care on what people would think of their actions – they like it – they go for it, they wouldn’t seek advice before taking something new up – and if you ask me. THAT IS THE WAY TO GO ABOUT LIFE.
I’ve had many an argument with my dad about this subject, so writing about it here (as the topic for the week) gives me immense pleasure! I wouldn’t know if a condition like this exists in any other country, but in India – WoW! You’d have to actually meet people to know how many dreams have been crushed and ambitions squashed just with the the mentality of What Will People Think!? Be it your job, marriage or anything else, people in India care way too much about… you know what!
If I have to stand up and address a large gathering and ask the question: How many of you lead compromised lives because of the “What will people say” syndrome?
I’m sure, each and everyone’s hands would be up, because in whichever small or big way, we have all compromised on something, and that’s how an average Indian has lived and continues to live their life.
If you ought to do something, I’ll say – do it openly, and if it embarrasses you, don’t do it – SIMPLE! but to not do something just because of others – That’s NOT acceptable at all.
So the automatic next question to then ask is: Why do we let people’s opinions affect us so much?
No two people think alike and like I said earlier, no matter what we do, it is never going to be appreciated or complimented other than members of your family (that too is a big ? nowadays-but I’m gonna go with ‘Family wants the best for us’ thought)
- I am already 30 and unmarried, log kya kahenge?
- I’m better off being single, but will society judge me?
- I don’t have a regular 9-5 job, I work from home – what will people think? No girl will want to marry me.
- I want to drop out of school and pursue my dream of becoming a YouTuber, but what will people say?
If someone comes to me and I have to advice them on being anti-people thinking, I’ll have to simply say
“Why do you care? Do your thing, after all people aren’t feeding you” but that apparently isn’t what most people want to hear. They need you to break it down for them further. Let me see if I can do that for you – 5 pointers
- If you do not want people judging you, you got to stop doing that yourself first. I know its default setting, but have you heard of a starting over – YES, we can all do that.
- We need to take care of our self a little from time to time – its healthy practice.
- Something I personally do (and you should really try out) Imagine the worst case scenario, however that said – do not alter what you’ve set out to do, do it anyway!
- Nobody knows you as better as yourself, so how does the opinion of another even matter?
- No harm listening, but keep at what you’re doing. People will get the message eventually.
A person who knows what he wants in life and goes about getting things done (at his own speed) is respected. No one wants to be-friend someone who themselves do not know what their next step is going to be.
Of course it all starts with YOU. So are you willing to let go of the ‘thought’? YOU and only YOU matter, besides everyone is entitled to his/her opinion – no one can stop from mouths wagging.
If after reading this, you find yourself wiser by a percent or two – I think my job HERE is done – else…..
Life is a game after all, all we constantly need to up our game.