2019 – THE TRUE BITTER SWEET YEAR!

It’s that time of the year already when we reflect on self and measure how far have we come, what went well, what could have been better. I stumbled upon the gratitude post from last year published on My Instagram account. There was so much to be thankful about in 2018! What about 2019 then?

Well, let me be very candid. 2019 has not been as fulfilling as I would have liked it to be but nevertheless I am glad that it gave me some wonderful lessons of life. I would like to share the two most important and life changing things that 2019 brought in:

1. Let go attitude: I learnt this a hard way! I was looking forward to rock this year in my career. I had set ambitious goals professionally but all came crashing down. Joining back work after maternity has not been easy. I find my self less focused on work compared to my earlier self. I don’t feel ready to make demanding commitments at work. I tend to not take up challenging projects and rather prefer to stick to my comfort zone. This was not ME! Not until I became a mother. Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming motherhood, how can I when I have begged for it for so many years. But you know what, its not easy either to experience this change at the career front. It’s not easy to compromise a career of 11 years and take it slowly further. No, no one has asked me to do it. It’s my own call. But a part of me always cries over lost opportunities at work, missing promotions and witnessing others pass by you while you stay put in your comfort zone. I know it’s a phase and will pass. Another important aspect of career that 2019 highlighted is that I am now absolutely sure I don’t want a job. My purpose of life is not being a corporate slave. God has sent me to do better things in life. And I think I have found my calling. No, I am not heading to Himalayas and meditating my whole life but I will be right here, amidst all of you and serve the mankind that I am supposed to. Having said that, I understand I cannot live without money. I shoulder financial responsibilities at home equally with my husband. So if not my job then what? Well, I think I know the answer and I am so grateful to 2019 for bringing this clarity to my mind. Now we just have to wait until I figure out how to wrap up my corporate slavery and start working on my calling. It will take a few years. I am giving whole of 2020 to me! Wish me luck guys! All this has made me a pro at letting go! I have let go the project, the opportunities, the growth at work not so happily but I have made peace with it now that I know the bigger purpose of life. So, on a career front, I have let the sand slip out from my fingers and have seen others build castles out of it. Well, I am glad they were able to!

2. True Love: I have newly fallen in love with this little man called Aarnav. I love him more than last year and I love him more with each passing day! Aarnav has taught me the true meaning of love. No matter how mad I get at him all that he has to offer in return is love and only love. It’s amazing that how kids choose to forgive and forget your wrath and return double the love to you. I never felt so loved before you know! Not when I fell in love with the man of my life, not when I got married, just never. May be if I would remember how my mother loved me when I was an infant, the feeling could be a close hit but I think we do not recall memories earlier than 2 or 3 years of age, not sure!. You can say I have drowned in love this year. And it has been a beautiful feeling. Those tight hugs, those kisses, those cuddles are just incomparable to anything in this world. More importantly, the lesson that I learnt from these expression of love is valuable. I learnt from Aarnav to love selflessly. Yes, he loves me even of I scold him, punish him or just get mad at him. Are we adults able to do that? No, right? We hold on to these negativity and hold back when we love. But, 2019 has been different. If not as much as Aarnav, I have learnt to love selflessly to some extent. I will work more on this in 2020.

Having said that, I cannot wrap up 2019 without expressing gratitude towards the amazing support system that I have at home. My mom-in-law, mother, sis-in-law and Aarnav’s nanny have stood by me every single moment. I can’t thank God enough for having them in my life. Thanks to all these, Aarnav is a happy child today, staying at home when I got to office and is getting raised with good morals and manners. I am not too sure how the things would have been if I had to leave him at a Day Care. No, don’t get me wrong, am not saying that kids at day care are not brought up well, they are, they certainly are! But who can stop a mother’s heart from worrying, right?

I trust each one of you has had a fulfilling 2019 and looking to adding to that fulfillment in the coming year

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHONA

Parul was trapped in a vicious circle of life – meeting expectations and fulfilling demands. Life was totally mundane and there was nothing that interested her. She often thought about wanting a better life but would reason to herself thinking she has everything to make life beautiful – husband, kids, own house, well paying job – what else can she ask for! Even then, life was utterly boring, monotonous and to some extent burdensome because of increasing responsibilities of growing up kids and dynamics of relationships.

Parul was married to Palash and they made a great couple then, but not any more! Palash who was in his early forties preferred long hours at office more than spending time at home. The once romantic young boy had now turned in to a workaholic treading the path of success ferociously. Parul who was in her late thirties had almost forgotten what romance is, firstly because she got very less time to spend with her husband because of his business tours and busy work schedules and secondly because, she had forgotten that she is a wife too while trying to be the best mom to their kids who were older than toddlers but younger than teens. In short, in 11 years of marriage, Parul and Palash had grown distant considerably.

Not that they had fights or arguments, but their life was not the same as it used to be in the early years of marriage. Both of them could feel the missing factor but never complained because they thought they had more important things to focus on – work for Palash and kids for Parul. Both had adapted themselves to a life minus romance, excitement and surprises. But slowly, Parul had started craving for the company of her husband. Each time she saw any of her friend going out with her husband, she would feel a little jealous. She never spoke with Palash about what she felt because she was burdened with the guilt of giving more importance to kids all these years and ignoring her husband to a very large extent, but secretly she longed to be with her husband, physically and emotionally. She would hope that Palash would understand her needs but unfortunately it did not seem like he even noticed any of them. It wasn’t like Palash was not looking after her or their kids. He was a good father. He did manage to spend a little time with kids every weekend. But for Parul, Palash’s behavior wasn’t very pleasant. She craved for his attention and company. But the irony is she had started noticing the difference only after their kids had grown up a bit. Perhaps, that was the time when Parul got a moment to look at her life with a fresh pairs of eyes. For her it was like Palash was there but he was not there! With each passing day Parul had started getting frustrated. She was being grind in ignorance and neglect.

These things started impacting Parul in a negative way. Mood swings, anger, and small arguments started stepping in. While Palash seemed to handle it well, Parul was not able to manage herself. All that she needed was her husband and his attention but she was not getting it. Things worsened between them when Palash announced that he will need to fly to London for work for two weeks. Parul was very hurt and annoyed that he didn’t seem to remember her birthday. As per schedule, Palash was to return home on the day after Parul’s birthday. Parul tried asking Palash if could return a day earlier hoping that he gets a hint about her birthday but all in vain!

Parul felt miserable after Palash left for London and nothing on this earth could lift her mood. She would go to office with a sour mood and return home with a bitter mood. This had became a new routine and on one such day when Parul reached office with a grimace, she was amazed to find a small box placed on her desk. It was neatly wrapped with a pink (her favorite color) gift paper and the sender had only mentioned “From your secret admirer”. She observed the gift for some time searching for the clue about who could have sent it but there was none! Lot of questions ran through her mind, like “Who must have sent this? Is it for me? If yes, why is not addressed to me? Is someone playing a prank? Now who is this secret admirer, does anyone even notice me?” She checked with her colleagues to know if they had seen anyone placing this gift at her desk but nobody seemed to know. At last, she just put it in her drawer and got to work. By the end of the day, she had totally forgotten about that gift.

Next day:

When Parul reached office, she saw another gift box, a little bigger than the first one. Again, the box said nothing apart from a short message which was typed on a paper and stuck to the box. It said “Please do not forget me” Parul looked around and blushed a little when she noticed all colleagues were looking at her with curious faces, all that she could manage to say was”I…. I don’t know who sent this. Its really wei… weird”

“A birthday gift?” asked one of the colleagues cheekily. “No, still a couple of days for my birthday!” exclaimed Parul. She was sort of embarrassed by all the attention that her gifts were drawing. She quickly dropped this gift in her drawer and started to work. But the curiosity stayed on her mind.

Day3:

There was yet another gift waiting for Parul. It read “Tomorrow is a very special day. Please meet me.” This time the note was handwritten. Parul was a little disheartened to see that the handwriting didn’t look like Palash’s. She had began to think that Palash was sending these gifts but now it was clear that it wasn’t him. And anyway, it was too much to expect that from Palash, more so because of the way he had transformed over the years. But Parul was sure about one thing, whoever that secret admirer was – he was somewhere around. He knew her and he was watching her. By now most of the office knew that Parul was getting a gift every day and most of them envied her for having so much love and excitement in life. Casual teasing and leg pulling by colleagues brightened Parul’s day. She realized that she was smiling after a really long time. She was happy but curious. She was liking the feeling of being pampered but she was also worried about who this secret admirer is. What is he up to? Will he create any problem in her married life? She considered sharing this with Palash but changed her mind instantly thinking that he may misunderstand.

Later in the lunch time, she opened all the boxes. The first one had an anklet – the same one she had been eyeing for a long time. She was so happy! She was amazed about the choice if the secret admirer and was curious to know how did he know that she had wanted that anklet since a long time. She thought hard to remember if she had mentioned about it to any one in the office, may be she did to some of her girl friends but why will she mention it to her males friends? And obviously, the secret admirer couldn’t be a girl – or that’s what Parul thought. Parul was full of mixed emotions – happiness, flattering, excitement, anxiety – all at the same time.

Her excitement reached a new level when she opened the second gift. It was a beautiful writing pad and a Mont Blanc pen – both her favorites. There was something scribbled on the writing pad – it said, “please do not stop writing beautiful poems that you always wrote when you were in college” Oh my, was this some old flame from college? Who was he? And how did he remember about her poems when she herself had long forgotten about her passion?

It was getting very difficult for Parul to contain all the excitement. She was thinking very hard about who could be this secret admirer. Her heart was pounding hard when she was about to open the third gift. The message on the gift box had created more suspense. “Tomorrow is a very special day. Please meet me.” The secret admirer wanted to meet her on her birthday! She quickly opened the box and was surprised to see two tickets to the premier show of the movie of her favorite star! What?? She was going to get to meet her favorite superstar on her birthday??!!! Parul was on cloud nine! How did the secret admirer know about her craze for that superstar and how did he manage to book the ticket for the premier show?

By now, Parul’s face was glowing with excitement and happiness. But she wasn’t sure if she should go and meet the secret admirer. That day when she returned home her mood was nice after a long time. Kids were happy to see that their mom is no more cranky and irate. When nothing on earth could help to set Parul’s mood right, these small gifts went a long way. This secret admirer had easily done something which Palash could never do in 11 years. Parul couldn’t sleep that night thinking about meeting the superstar and the secret admirer the next day. It was going to be an eventful birthday this year!

The D-day!

Parul couldn’t wait to reach office to find the last gift. Today, the gift sticker only said “Happy birthday Shona!” She quickly opened the box and couldn’t believe her eyes! There was a diamond necklace – the same she had been wishing for since years but hesitating to ask for it from Palash. There was also a small note saying “Please pick me up at the airport at 3 pm today. Can’t wait to see you on your birthday” A smile broke on Parul’s lips and tears rolled down her cheeks.

The cat was out of the bag. The secret admirer was none other than Palash himself. Parul was moved to see his efforts to make her happy and she wondered how did he plan this execution so well. She was touched to realize that, all this while when she felt Palash was ignoring her to the core, Palash was actually noting her every wish, every desire and he even remembered her long lost passion of writing poems. While she thought that love and romance was fading away from their life, Palash had brought it back with a bang. While she was mad at Palash two weeks ago for not noticing her attempt of reminding her birthday, there he was deeply engrossed in planning all the execution. Parul knew how hectic his business tours are and she felt so special that he made arrangements to return on her birthday! She felt guilty for blaming her loving husband of ignorance and neglect. While she was immersed in her happiness and guilt, she was greeted mischievously by Tara, a colleague – “Happy Birthday Parul. So, how were the surprises since last 4 days?” Parul stared at her wondering how did she know about all this when she sat on another floor altogether and Parul had never mentioned about anything to her.

Slowly, all the pieces of the puzzle had fitted together. Palash had cleverly planned this with the help of Tara. Tara and Palash were batch-mates from MBA and they had re-connected at the annual party of Payal’s office last year.

Parul had fallen in love with Palash all over again. It was indeed her best birthday. They started a new life together from that day. Love, pampering and romance had found a new meaning.

We all hit a phase in our marriage when it gets extremely boring. That is the time when we feel like giving up but actually that is the time when we should hang on the most. We take our partner for granted and over the period of time we stop doing those small things which make them happy. While we assume increasing responsibilities in life and excel in them, we fail to do justice to that special relationship with our partner unknowingly. It’s not that we don’t love our partner any more but we fail to understand how important it is to express our love. Expression of love strengthens a relationship.

I think all of us should make sure to sprinkle some love and top up the relationship with surprises and pampering, irrespective of the age!

Wishing you all a wonderful relationship filled with love! Cheers.

ERUPT – XIV

Yes, I did just that but you know it had a manifold effect on Jay. He turned from riches to rags in no time. The humiliation he received on national television, the way the media stripped his character and the way he was kicked out by his own political party had a deep impact on him. He was nothing more than a wretched man. And you know there can never be a punishment bigger than having to plead and seek help and ask for forgiveness from someone who was once a puppet in your hands.” Reeta replied beaming with pride.

Do you mean you helped Jay? Are you still in contact with him?” Asked Nidhi with squinted eyes. There was a look of surprise on the face of everyone present in the room except Rex because he was aware of what Reeta had done really. He pitched in to explain to the audience.

Reeta not only forgive him but also gave him a new lease of life. After all that happened with Jay as an aftermath of Reeta unveiled the true face of his, he became very vulnerable. There was no place he could go and there was no alliance he could turn to. Everyone treated him like a piece of dirt. His political support was backed out, he did not receive any favors in cash or kind and soon he was left unemployed. He couldn’t come to terms with the turn of events and he took to alcohol. Needless to say he used to breathe, sleep and wear alcohol. Newspapers reported him to be found on streets of Mumbai in a semi conscious state because of over consumption of alcohol.”

Everyone in the room were listening to Rex’s narration intently.

Reeta chipped in and continued further. “One night Jay called me. He was under the influence of alcohol. He first started swearing at me and blamed me for his condition. Well, I was indeed responsible for it but I did not regret it even a bit. I was calmly hearing him out. Some how I was confident that he cannot harm me any further. He continued spitting venom for some more time and then suddenly be broke down. He started crying like a helpless child wandering on a lost road. He asked for my forgiveness. He said he wanted to change. He said he wanted to live a decent life again and asked if I could help him and suddenly he passed out. Having lived with this man for 15 years, I could sense that there was a streak of truth in what he just said. I used my contacts and networking and found out more about him. It turned out that he was actually telling the truth that day. So I decided to do my bit and got him admission to the rehab center so he has a shelter and gets a square meal a day and also frees himself from the shackles of alcoholism.

Slowly the crowd started clapping and applauding. A girl stood up and questioned Reeta, “What are you made up of ma’am! You have a heart of gold!”

Somewhere in Mumbai

Jay returned to his cottage after a hard day’s work. He cooked for himself a humble meal of daal rice. Ever since he returned from the rehab center he was a changed man. He lived a simple life. To earn a living he served at an old age home through the day. His routine would never deviate from his cottage and old age home and there was no element of any change or excitement what so ever. But today it was different. He couldn’t contain his excitement today because he had received a letter from Reeta in the morning. The chores at the old age home kept him so busy that he couldn’t even think of reading the letter then but now that he was home and done with dinner he couldn’t wait any more.

With trembling hands heart filled with love and respect he opened the letter…

Hi Jay,

Hope you are doing better now. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you as a changed man. I am proud of you Jay, it’s not easy to take the wrong path and find the right one again but you made it happen. I know your hands were trembling when you opened this letter and I know you will not sleep for nights together after you read this letter. I just know you well, after all, a woman knows her man like a sailor knows the sea!

Well, my secretary told me that you wanted to talk to me by meeting me in person. I am sorry Jay, I will not meet you. Not that I don’t have time but because I can’t spend even a second more with you than what I already have. I can read your mind Jay, I know you want to talk me in to getting back and starting a new life together but I am sorry Jay I can’t do that. That Reeta is dead long time ago. I am a fiercely independent woman now. The toughest time of my life curated me in to the best version of myself and I want the same should happen to you. Be the best version of yourself Jay, you don’t need anyone for that. There is a long way to go Jay. Continue to serve the elderly people and collect their blessings. That way you may feel little better from the torments of wrongs that you have committed. Apologies and regrets will fetch you nothing.

Stop thinking about how our life was together – good or bad. That is not going to help because now you are on your own. Think about how you want to channelize the energy and effort to make yourself competent enough to live rest of the life decently. Having said that, feel free to contact my organization for any kind of help if need be. We shall continue making fixed deposits in your name which you can redeem by presenting work certificate and salary slips. This will shield you from financial crisis if at all they arise in future.

Wishing you all the best.

Your’s truly,

Reeta
Founder of Shelter of Justice

 

THE END

ERUPT -VII

Standing by the French window of her plush apartment on the 24th floor, Reeta was sipping her ginger tea. Yes, ginger tea was all that she needed again to jump back to the real world. What had happened in last 24 hours? Reeta was numb, her head was pounding. Alcohol had done no good to her.

Who was Rex and why did he get her arrested? Who was that boy who left her on the road? And why was she even in the pub on the night of her wedding anniversary? Wasn’t she supposed to be with her husband celebrating (so called) love? Reeta was wondering about all these while rubbing her temples… but it was not helping to subside the headache. Was it a headache really or a different kind of hurt?

Having lived the the life she did for the past 15 years, no kind of hurt was new to Reeta. From forced physical pleasure to domestic violence she had timidly taken all. What else could she do? After all she was married to one of the most popular politician who had won all hearts except her. With no siblings and dead parents, she had no choice but to be with her husband. Or that is what she chose for all these years. It was never like this initially. Jay was a very nice husband. But when money and fame walked into his life hand in hand, his mind started to get corrupt and devilish. And Reeta, his wife became the object of his pleasure, his game, not love.

Now, she wanted to stop it right away…  She was yearning to break free. She wanted to break the shackles of deception of love, she wanted to put down the pressure of being famous and she wanted to live a normal peaceful life. Just like the random people she saw on the road. And yesterday was her first attempt to do so! What better day to escape from the grip of a monster than the day she married him. Hence, without thinking too much she let herself go wild. But it was a mistake. Her monster was far more powerful than she could imagine. He made arrangements to bring her back anyhow.

Reeta put the empty mug on the corner table and looking herself in the mirror said “You can do it Reeta. Plan better next time. These are the last wounds Jay can give. Not any more.” Reeta broke down looking at her bruised face and body even though she knew that was what would happen once Jay gets hold of her after her stint of running away.

There was a soft knock on the door.

Come in…” She said.

A servant came in and placed various tabloids on the table and left. It was a routine. Jay would ask to read all the news paper and tabloids every day to keep abreast with the current affairs. Reeta wiped her tears and picked one of them. She was shocked! She picked another, yet another… but all were the same. It was all over in the news that, the would be health minister’s wife was found drunk. It was not only that but there were many stories fabricated around it. Some tabloids said she slept with someone on the beach, some said she was found drunk on the road… But out of all these news items one particular headline caught her eye – “Would be health minister shows concern for the health of the state but couldn’t care for wife’s mental health

Reeta started laughing hysterically. She didn’t mind that she was being judged as psychic but instead she was ecstatic for reading something against her abusive husband, Jay Kapoor. After all, he really never cared for her! Why would she!

After sometime she took a hot water bath which calmed her down. She had also called for food. While she was setting her plate for lunch, she thought of the brunch Rex had made for her. He had taken such good care of her, a stranger. He treated her with grace, spoke to her with lot of respect and more importantly did not take advantage of her unconsciousness and vulnerability. She was filled with gratitude when these thoughts cleared the clutter in her mind. She couldn’t remember when was the last time Jay had treated her that way.

Life is funny you know, sometimes what you crave for from your closest people, a stranger is able to give you that effortlessly! Who was this Rex? And why and how could he be so nice to me? Reeta again lost in deep thought as she felt a strong urge to go back to him with a small present as a token of her gratitude but she immediately waved away the idea because she didn’t want to put him in trouble any more. However, that kind man, Rex refused to leave her mind!

13-apply-to-broken-pot
(Image Credit: Google Inc.)

On the other side of the city, that man kind man Rex, was sitting all alone by  the window of his cottage watching the waves of the sea. He held his mug of hot chocolate and laid down the broken pieces of his wife’s mug on the table beside him. He had saved them all from the dustbin, just like he had saved all her memories for so many years. Hot chocolate and watching waves crashing to the shore was their daily ritual. He held one of those broken pieces on his palm, felt it as if it was Mary herself, he kissed it and gulped down the hot chocolate roaring “Cheers!”

I DON’T SHED TEARS BUT I CRY…

A lot has been spoken about men not being allowed to cry, gender bias related to it and many other things. I personally feel that even though there could be a social pressure on men for not shedding tears, it is more of a choice and poise of the man.

How do we define crying? Crying means expression of grief and pain with or without tears. So, is it that men never feel the pain or they never grieve? (Please don’t quote the filmy dialogue “Mard ko Dard nahi hota”). I have seen men in my life cry, like really cry with tears in their eyes. And no single person ever shamed them.

The first man I saw crying was my grandfather. He cried his heart out when his first daughter was going away with her newly wed husband to start a new chapter of their life. My father did the same when I got married, though in a lesser intensity. But he did cry!

I have seen my husband cry quite a few times in these 10 years. I have seen him grieving when my father in law passed away. He was crying so bad that his whole body was wobbling. I have seen him cry with me when I was in tremendous pain because of losing pregnancies before we had Aarnav. I have seen him cry when he saw me going through the medical turmoil that I had to just to conceive Aarnav. I have seen him cry when we made a wrong decision of chucking a job before having another one on hand and then later facing unemployment for a long time. Every time his crying was not accompanied by tears, but I could see he was crying within.

We have a tradition that someone from the family accompanies the new bride to her new home, makes sure she is comfortable in the new house and then return. I remember my maternal uncle had accompanied me to my new house. At the time of “Grihapravesh” I turned back one last time just to feel assured that he is around and yes, he was there, with a heart full of happiness and eyes full of tears that his little niece is stepping in to a whole new world and will be on her own.

In spite of the fan fare of this social pressure, do ask yourself if men don’t cry ever? I am sure you have seen men cry too and there is no big deal about it. Earlier generations many have set standards for shaming men for crying but hey, we can change that, can’t we? I tell my son not to cry. Yes, I do, but NOT because boys don’t cry but because instead a crying he must learn to tell what is bothering him and what can be done about it.

Next time you see a man or a boy cry, just let him be. Don’t think what society will name him. Don’t suggest him whether he should cry or not. Just let him be. Instead, try and identify many other men who cry within. Do something to shed their grief. Do something to make them comfortable.

HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONS AT WORK

By nature, I am an extremely vulnerable person who can feel the emotions a little more in depth than required. I have often ended up in emotional mess because of this sensitivity. When I was you I couldn’t reason why some thing could hurt me so deep or why some small things make me happy. But as I started growing up a little self retrospection helped me understand.

It’s very easy for people like me to build relationships. What is difficult is to recover from the hurt if these relationships don’t work. I can quote plenty examples.

My first love, some of the friendships and some professional relationships too. We talk and hear a lot about heartbreaks and how to come out of it. Hence today I am going to talk about feelings and emotions at work.

In a corporate environment we often get overwhelmed about how to maintain relationships with peers and superiors. From my professional experience so far, I have learnt a lot about professional relationships and I have made some rules for myself. Sharing the same, it may be useful to you too.

1. No romantic relationships at work. A STRICT NO.

2. No friendships at work. Well, friendships do happen but not the ones that I may want to keep life long. Most of the friendships are need based. They are over when the need is over. I have suffered a lot with this before when I was a novice in this big bad corporate world. Slowly I learnt the tricks of the trade. But to be honest, my workplace has given me 2 beautiful friendships which are an exception to this rule.

3. No sharing personal life details in depth neither asking them to others. Often times, we speak volumes about our personal life with the person whom we trust at workplace but I have had experience when it turned a boomerang for me. I can do an entire separate post of this point 😎

4. No feelings towards anybody at workplace. When I say no feelings, I literally mean NO Feelings at all.. no jealousy, no anger, no attachment, no love, no hate. The only two feelings that I allow are respect and empathy. Lot of times, you may not respect a person, but you must respect the designation. This situation is a hard nut to crack. But not getting emotionally entangled often makes lot of things easier.

5. Just fix it in mind that you cannot take along all your relationships along with you till the end of your life. A person is surrounded by circles of relationships. Closer the circle to you, more important is the relationship. Now just imagine how difficult it will be to accommodate all the relationships in the inner most circle. Similarly, accept the fact that you can’t stand in the inner most circle of many. This point is difficult to accept and that’s exactly what causes emotional stress.

Hope these tips are useful. How do you deal with emotions and feelings? What challenging situations you have encountered and how did you deal with them? I would love to hear from you.

IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT THE CHILDREN

Ask a mom what her priority is and pat will come the reply, “My children!”. No mom is an exception to that. Once a mom,always a mom and it’s always about the children. ALWAYS!

I have seen this with my mom and my mom-in-law too. How much ever me and my husband grow up they still think we are their babies (which we are honestly 😁) and I get this fact just too well after being a mom myself.

After having Aarnav life has changed. Motherhood has curated me into a different person altogether. I no longer worry about dressing up and rather give that time to dress up my son, make his meals ready and do anything the he would need while we step out. I don’t mind staying up for him the whole night when he chooses to sleep in his mama’s lap rather than his bed. His comfort comes before mine. I don’t mind the dark circles I have which clearly highlight the sleep deficit. All that matters is whether Aarnav eats well, sleeps well and is happy. His well being comes first.

I no longer have my own plans, everything thing is planned as per Aarnav’s sleep schedule. There are days when I don’t even comb my hair but hey, who is complaining? I am a mom! And it will always be about my son! Don’t ask me to prioritize between you and Aarnav, you will lose because my son will always be my FIRST priority. I tell that to everyone, even my husband.

Well, let me be honest. There are days when I crave some ME TIME. There are days when I feel stressed for not getting enough rest, for not being able to care for myself, for not looking great, for not having my body in great shape, for the stagnation in my career but all these thoughts come and go. The only thought that stays is Aarnav and his well being.

In the end, all that matters is the twinkle in Aarnav’s eyes, smile on his face and the love he holds in his heart for me. All the worries and insecurities are washed away when he hugs my with his tiny little hands and kisses me on the cheek. And I will never trade that for anything in this world.

If ever I have to make a choice, it will be what is best for Aarnav. I am not me anymore, I am now Aarnav’s MOM and this new identity shall rule all my choices and preferences. Because,for a mother it’s always about her children! Dont you agree?