WE ARE IN IT TOGETHER!

They say you respect your parents more when you become one yourself. How true is it. I would trade anything in this world to be like my parents and raise Aarnav (my 2 yrs old boy) just the way my parents raised me. But alas, that’s not how it’s going to be.

Just like how computers changed to laptops and iPads, landlines changed to smartphones, schooling changed to online schooling in just a matter of few years, parenting needs an upgrade too.

Honestly, I do not have a parenting plan for Aarnav. We live in a dynamic world and every day is different than the other. Parents in this age need to be on toes. 24/7. But if you ask me what is my parenting goal, I have an answer to it. My parenting goal is that, I want to raise Aarnav in such a way that he is comfortable to talk to me about anything under the sun. Just anything. And I want to build that trust in him that no matter what, we are in it together. That doesn’t mean that I shall coverup when he makes mistakes, it simply means that my behavior towards him should be such that he finds me approachable even when he wants to confess his mistakes.  Easy? Not at all…!!

The parent in me is naive, I cannot comment on what and how other parents are doing right now. But all I know is that, I want to raise Aarnav the way I mentioned above. This naive parent in me often worries about how I would handle a situation when hormones of my son would start tricking on him, whether he would love me as much as he does now, whether he will share things with me? And I dont have any solutions to this fear. But broadly, I do know what I must do to have it my way. Parenting in today’s age is tricky. You can’t be controlling but you are accountable!

There are some basic directions I have given myself to be a good parent. Only time will tell how a good parent I turn out to be but I trust this may work! Trying to share a few directions here

1. Values: The foundation of the character that we want to build is values. Above everything,  I emote to Aarnav the values like Respect and Gratitude. Respecting everyone around, be it peers or Elders is what makes you empathetic and if you grow to be empathetic you will never ever want to hurt anyone. Neither physically nor verbally. At the same time, being grateful for what you have is also very very important because it brings along other values like, being appreciative and humble and keeps negatives like jealousy at bay.

2. Being approachable: I think this is the golden direction! We as parents must make our children feel loved and trusted that they feel confident that they can come to us and talk about anything and everything. Just anything, like their first crush, their first date, their desires. Now this is more actionable for parents rather than the children I would say because the onus of giving them that comfort lies on to us. This is one of the biggest responsibilities of the parents I would say! Because it’s not easy to do what it takes to be good in the books of your child and still manage to do the right and just thing! The key here is communication. “Me time v/s We time” like Charlie mentioned in his post but mind you kids of this generation need their own space. Its tricky as a parent to make a place for ourself without invading their space.

3. Accept the change: We must accept the change the generation brings in. Like I am prepared for the time when I may need to allow Aarnav to use his personal smartphone while he is still schooling. This is a sober example. Let’s face it guys, there are many other changes that we need to accept like, hitting puberty earlier, normalising relationships, the desire for independence. It is very important that we dont let these changes overwhelm us and get upset with our children for the choices they make.

Like Kalpana said at the beginning of this week, parenting doesnt come with an instruction manual, it’s a tough job. I would like to add that It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about the choice and effect relationship. It’s about what we and our children choose that leads us to the effect. And it’s not the job of only parents or only children. We are in it together!

In the end, all that we must focus on as parents is eternal love for children, raising them to be a gentle and loving human being, raising them to respect all the genders equally and teaching them to make the right choices. How we do it is up to us really!

I would like to conclude this topic by a reminder to myself (and other parents too) to be with my child in thick and thin, each and every time he needs me, sometimes directly and some times indirectly, sometimes in face and sometimes anonymously.

The following quote summarizes my write up and my parenting goal:

“I can’t promise to fix all your problems, but I promise that you will not have to face them alone. – A loving parent.”

 

MEMORY GAME – VII

That meeting with Shraddha ji two months ago was difficult but necessary. Amidst lot of denial, tears, fear, guilt and ambiguity Shraddha ji had somehow managed to show the right direction to Neha once again. She proved to be the North star for Neha one more time. Neha had promised her with a very heavy heart that she will not let her mind race back to Rishi and that she would do justice to Dr Tripathi, her family and their love for her. Deep within she knew it was the right thing to do but it was easier said than done.

She had taken time but eventually she had put herself together and stood up once again. Everyday bit by bit she was transforming back to being chirpy and joyful. The whole family was noticing this change. Dr Tripathi was happy to see his Neha back. Neha was happy too!

She had stepped out of the house for the first time in two months. Her son wanted to visit the park and she had readily agreed. So off went the mom and son duo! She was happily listening to the chatter of the little man about how he was going climb the slide and sway on the swing and run around the park. Just when they reached the park, the commotion caught her attention. She asked a passer by if he knew what it was about and he said some guy had passed out. She quickly called up Dr Tripathi to have an ambulance sent to the park and also appoint an assistant to handle the case.

She briskly walked towards the crowd and held her little boy tightly by his hand.

“Please.. everyone please move aside. Make way. Please do not crowd. I have called for an ambulance. My husband is a doctor and I will take him to the hospital.”

As crowd started dispersing, Neha was shocked to see who that guy was. Her face lost colour.

“Rishhhiìii…” a shriek escaped Neha’s mouth and in a fraction of a second she drowned into the sea of emotions. Exactly the same emotions she had felt when she had seen him in Dr Tripathi’s office. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She was lost. She wanted to hug Rishi and tell him that he was going to be fine. She couldn’t lose him, not again!

At that very moment, her little boy started howling. He was afraid of the crowd and all that was happening around. His loud cry brought Neha back to senses. She cursed herself for what she was thinking a few moments ago. How could she? She had promised Shraddha ji that she wouldn’t do anything like this ever. And most importantly, she would not trade her loving son and caring husband for anything in the world, or that’s what she told herself to believe in.

While Neha tried to calm down her son, an ambulance with a shrill siren raced towards them. Poor little boy got scared even more

“… dont cry baby… dont cry… mamma is with you sweety.. awww…… ” she held him close to her heart, patted his head gently and kissed his forehead. That was the moment of truth! She was sure that she didn’t love anyone more than him. Not even Rishi. Neha was now clear what she wanted from life.

The paramedics efficiently transferred Rishi to the ambulance and Neha accompanied them to the hospital. She could have gone home but she didn’t want to run away. She was going to be there and face it. Bring it on life!

Two days later when Rishi had gain consciousness fully, Neha went to the hospital to meet him. She knew that Dr Tripathi was away for a surgery at another hospital far away at the other end of the city. She had prepared Rishi’s favorite breakfast and got along with her. Her heart was racing. She was finally going to meet Rishi. She had contemplated this meeting a lot and was sure she wanted to do this. She needed a closure. Their relationship needed a closure.

 

She was standing outside his room. She took a deep breath, softly knocked on the door and stepped in.

They were standing face to face. Numb. Nobody spoke but eyes did. That was the forte of their relationship. They just knew what the other one wanted even before it was said. And it was true even now. Their chemistry was just the same in spite of all odds. The time lapse and memory game had not changed their understanding even a bit. Everything was just the same.

Finally Rishi spoke.

“Neha, I know you are trying to swim against the tide. But trust me, the shore on the other side of the sea is beautiful. Don’t stop Neha. Dont look back, keep going. It will be difficult, but it will take you to the right destination. I love you. I always will. And for that reason itself I will not pull you back. Don’t worry. Be assured that I will not spoil your life. Not even a bit. Even though I  can’t even think of spending my life with anyone but you, I set you free. And I set myself free. Free from all the strings that are attached. We must move on Neha!  Only I know how much I have prepared myself in the past 2 days for this talk. Life has given us a second chance Neha. We need to change a few things. Let’s say God has given me my memory back for a reason? And there could be no better reason than choosing what is best for you. Our love is sacred. We can’t malign it by cheating and breaking the trust placed in us. Our paths turn in opposite direction here onward. We will always love each other Neha but there is no need to prove our love to the world. We don’t need a formal relationship. Not at the cost of you losing the best husband, family and their love. Dont you also feel the same Neha?”

Neha didn’t know what to react. The lump in her throat had almost choked her. She wondered how this man could read her mind even today and how he can sacrifice anything in this world for her well being. Even though she had prepared herself for this, a part of her broke at this goodbye. It meant that she will not see Rishi again. Never ever, not at least in this life. Her heart sank. But it was needed that they part ways. Too much was at stake. She was obliged to too many people to do it. She had promised Shraddha ji that she will do it. Her husband deserved her undivided love and respect. Her son needed both his parents. Her family didn’t deserve the disgrace that will come along if she was to do otherwise. Yet, Rishi was a part of her too. She gently asked,

“What about you Rishi? Will you be able to live without me. I have my family at least, how will you cope?”

“Dont worry about me Neha. I will fix myself. God must have some plan for me. You should leave now Neha. My mom will be arriving here very soon. I am going to be discharged this afternoon.” Rishi turned his back to Neha and said sternly looking outside the window.

“Look at me Rishi. Look at me. We can do this in a better way. Come…. say a proper good bye. Hug me one last time” Neha said, crying and spreading her arms open. Rishi obliged.

She: “Promise me you will move on too.”

He: “I will. Promise”

She: “Promise me you won’t harm yourself.”

He: “Promise”

She: “Promise me you will pursue your career in history and become the best historian. “

He: “Promise. But I will do all this only if you promise to not check on me, ever again in life. Promise me that you will not try to find out my whereabouts. Promise me that you will be the best wife to Dr Tripathi. “

She: “Promise!”

They released the hug, wiped the tears and moved on. Hard as it may seem, they had chosen the right path. For them, love was not about being possessive or destroying lives for selfish desires. Love is all about understanding what is good for each other. Love is all about trusting each other. Love is all about respecting the boundaries. Love is a lot about sacrificing. Love is only about love, not about cheating, snatching or destroying.

Destiny had played brutal game with them but they played along well. The game isn’t over yet. They have now graduated to level two of Memory Game. The game of cherishing the memories and making new ones!

 

20 years later:

“Mom..mom… see this…” Neeraj was jumping with joy with a letter in his hand.

“What is it beta…?” Neha asked lovingly.

“Mom.. this is the letter of confirmation that the great historian Mr Sourab Das has accepted my application. He is going to be my PhD guide!”

Neha took the letter from Neersj and read it several times. She caressed the signature which said “Mr. Sourabh Das” and muttered “Thank you, thank you for everything ” A few tears escaped her eyes.

“What mom, you are crying!?” Exclaimed Neeraj

“Nothing beta. You won’t understand. Call them happy tears.”

 

 

 

Love is an integral part of life. Love is everywhere around us. But we need to nurture it. Do not contaminate it with negative emotions. Do not let it intimidate your thought process and decision making ability though. Love is always beautiful. Its up to us to not make it look ugly.

MEMORY GAME – I

“Hi Shikha, is the Dr busy?”

“No Ma’am, he is waiting for you.”

Neha thanked Shikha and swiftly walked down the small aisle that led her to the office of her husband, Dr Rajan Tripathi. Clad in a chiffon saree, sindoor adorning her hair partition, delicate gold bangles in her hands, the anklet bells clicked softly as she walked. Neha was a gorgeous woman in her early thirties and a perfect life partner for Dr Tripathi.

While Dr Tripathi was very much like any other doctor – busy with patients and hospital all the time, Neha was very much like any other homemaker – perfectly managing all the needs of Dr Tripathi and taking good care of the entire household. She would pack a freshly cooked meal everyday and take it to Dr Tripathi herself because she was well aware of his love for piping hot and fresh meal. Also, it was this one hour in the day that was their “WE TIME”. No one was allowed to disturb them except extreme medical emergencies which was a rare occasion. Shikha had strict orders from Dr Tripathi that no phone calls should be transferred to him and no patients should be allowed to see him during the lunch time. Barring this one hour, Neha and Dr Tripathi barely got any time together, thanks to the profession of Dr Tripathi that kept him busy and the big family that kept Neha busy.

Life was beautiful. Love, prosperity, a supportive family and a cute little son. What else one could ask for? Neha thanked almighty every single day for sending Dr Tripathi in her life. The 6 year-old saga of a typical arranged marriage, the hesitation of starting a life with a stranger and healing a broken heart at the same time was long forgotten now. The present was just perfect.

“Hey Neha… come, come fast. I am very hungry. Have been waiting for you for so long. Gotta tell you something. Remember I had told you about one of my patients…?… He is getting a discharged today… ” Dr Tripathi said in one breath as soon as he saw Neha.

“Come on doctor, you talk only about your patients the whole day and I am sorry I do not remember who you are talking about because I don’t care!”, pat came the reply from Neha who was disappointed to hear about his patients even during the lunch time. And anyway, how did it matter because, as always, all that Dr Tripathi would talk about is how he operated a patient, how this happened, how that happened . . . blah blah blah!

“Oh Neha, you don’t know how happy I am today! I know you don’t want to listen but please listen any way! You remember, the other day I was telling you about the patient who revived from coma after 3 years? All his reports came out normal, we had kept him under observation for a week and now he is getting a discharge today. Isn’t that great? I am going to miss him, you know! 3 years… can you imagine, 3 years… every single day I would visit him even though my assistants would do the checkups, I would talk to him, pat his hand and ask for a hi-five! You know right, that the patients in coma have a functional brain and they can comprehend what we are talking to them? God knows, if he would remember my hi-five now!” Dr Tripathi was a little bit emotional unlike his usual self. There was something special about this patient.

This patient was referred to Dr Tripathi 3 years ago when he slipped into coma. His case was complicated. He had suffered an accident a few years back and had suffered a head injury. He recovered from that but three years ago he had a brain hemorrhage followed by a partial memory loss and as his condition worsened he had slipped into coma.

“Uff… enough of your patients stories. Have your food now…” uttered Neha bitterly to cut the thought process of Dr Tripathi. She quickly moved to the side table to set the lunch for him. As she got busy in arranging the spread for lunch, there was a soft knock on the door.

“Oh no, doctor! Don’t tell me you have invited any doctor for lunch. You should have told me before, I would have cooked a better menu and some sweet too!” Said Neha and frowned at Dr Tripathi.

“Relax Neha, this must be the same patient I was talking about. I had asked him to drop by before he leaves…. come in come in….”

Neha rolled her eyes and didn’t bother to turn around to greet the patient. She had already started disliking him for hijacking their lunch time.

“Thank you doctor. I gather it was you who treated me for all these years. Thank you so much! ” said a familiar voice. Neha was surprised to hear this strangely familiar voice. She tried hard to recollect where and when she had heard this voice before.

“Not at all. It was my duty. Take good care of yourself. Follow the schedule of medicines and some tests that I have prescribed to you and even though I would like to see you again, I hope you never need to see me, not at least as a doctor! Okay then, bye! Hope your family has come to pick you up. Will you be staying with them now?

There was a moment of silence.

The patient cleared his throat said… “Well, I don’t know! I don’t remember my family. But the sister said that the lady who keeps visiting every day is my mother and she has come to pick me up. I am not sure if that’s the truth. But there is very little that I can do. That lady has all the legal documents and photographs that prove our relationship. By the way doctor, did Neha come to see me? I have been asking everyone about this since last one week and nobody seems to know…..

Finally, Neha could recollect whose voice was this. She turned around in a lightning speed . She couldn’t believe she was seeing him alive! Her world had come crashing down. She failed to understand why was she told that he had died in a road accident. For all seven years she believed him to be dead and here he was, standing in front of her in the form of flesh and blood. Was destiny playing a joke?

When she had thought that she had finally put her past behind and that life is just perfect, and here he was. And in what condition? Partial memory loss? He didn’t remember his family but he remembered her? Did he still love her? Did she still love him? The plate fell down from Neha’s hands and both the men at once came rushing to her…

HAD IT NOT BEEN SAME? – V

2 years later:

Rhea… Rhea… come fast I am dialing in. I can’t wait to talk to Mano and Satya” called out Murli from the bedroom.
Coming Murli, just 2 mins.” Responded Rhea from the kitchen.
All the confusion of same initials leading bitter sweet experiences eventually paved way to a great friendship between the two families. It was their weekly ritual to video call each other every Saturday.
A lot had happened in the two years that went by. Mano and Satya had played a role of catalyst in the life of Murli and changed it for good.
If it wasn’t for Satya to send Rhea to the right house and then check on Murli out of concern about what was the whole fight about, Murli would have never been hitched to Rhea. The casual but persistent leg pulling of why Rhea was looking for him and pairing them and constant teasers by Satya and Mano had finally made both of them fall in love. And now they were a newly married couple drowned in love. Rhea had filled Murli’s black and white life with beautiful colours and Murli gave her the much needed love. Rhea would always say that she shall always be indebted to Satya and Mano for thinking of this alliance. That’s how a life policy seller a life maker of this man called Murli.
In the mean time, an onsite project was assigned to Mano and hence they had to move to Germany for 3 years. Nevertheless, distance didn’t matter their friendship with Murli and Rhea. They would be in touch regularly and video call every week.
Hìiiiiiiiiiiiii…. ” shrieked Satya as soon as the video call started.
Hellloòooooo…” responded Rhea with equal enthusiasm and joy while both the M Swamys’ greeted each other with their usual “what’s up bro” kindda question.
You look very excited Satya! What’s the matter?” Murli asked
How can I not be excited Murli?? There is something that we want to share with you” Satya chuckled
Wait, let me guess… are you guys moving back to India?” Rhea chipped in.
Arre no… two more years for that ya… but there is something big happening before that.” Mano clarified.
What is it now tell fast, we can’t wait.” Said Rhea impatiently.
Well…. we are expecting a baby. We had our first ultrasound today and we heard the heartbeats.” Said Satya somewhat shyly.
Whatttttt, that’s the best news!!! Congratulations guys…wow! We are going to have a junior Swamy!” Exclaimed Rhea and Murli in unison.
But guys, we want a promise from you…” said Mano with a straight face.
Don’t worry bro, this stays between us. We won’t discuss it with anyone else. Tell me, what is it?” Murli assured and Satya and Rhea were listening intently.
Promise us guys… that when you have a baby, you won’t name him or her with the same initials as that of our baby!” Mano broke into laughter while saying this and so did all others.
Later in the night:
Murli, did you see how happy Satya was?”
Yes, of course Rhea. A baby does that to all isn’t it?
Right Murli, but this is different. Satya will be the best mother in the world. I remember she telling me about how difficult it was to grow up in an orphanage and not know about parents and not get a love from mother. That time she had mentioned that she will love her child a lot, give him or her the best of everything, everything that she never got but craved for.” Rhea recounted the episode a little emotionally.
Oh Murli, I forgot to tell you.” Rhea came out from the emotional episode and jumped to her senses. She quickly opened the drawer of the writing table and handed over a letter to Murli.
Murli, see this. I got this yesterday in our mailbox. Doesn’t look like a normal correspondence. Sorry, I forgot to give it to you yesterday.
Ah.. show me what is it” Murli took the letter from Rhea in a jiffy and tore the envelope carefully to pull out a sheet of paper.
The expression on Murli’s face changed as he progressed to read the letter. Clearly, there was something to worry about.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING

Challenges are a part and parcel of our life which also bring fear with it. Also,I would say that these are very subjective and temporary. Something that is very challenging for me may not be as challenging for you and same goes with the fear.

So, in this small life of 35 years, I have come across many small and big challenges but the one that consumed me the most is being a mother. You may ask, why so?

We all think that’s its very natural to conceive and there is no rocket science in it. But it was only a few years back that I realised that conceiving was a BIG science.

10 years ago:

I was newly married and had some discomfort with my menstrual cycle. Hence doctor had asked me to do some tests. He said they were routine and normal. Once the reports were out, the first thing he said was, “You can never become a mother“. These words sound straight from a movie.. like ..  “Tum kabhi maa nahi ban sakti” but at the time it deafened me. I still remember the outburst I had after reaching home and poor Mr Husband didn’t know how to handle my emotional turmoil. Since starting a family was not an immediate thought because we were just married, finally I settled down after a lot of convincing that it won’t happen like the doctor said.

8 years ago:

By then, we were trying very hard to start the family. But failed every time. Doctors were consulted, horrifying tests were performed and we were asked to time the intercourse as the body was mapped to record the ovulation. Every effort failed! We could not conceive. We were then sent for an IUI. I am not going to go in depth with explanation of this process but do google it. Just understand that I would need to do a sonography every morning and then at the time of ovulation, I would need to visit the gynecologist to perform a medical procedure which will help me conceive. All this, with an extremely demanding corporate job was tearing me apart.

Finally a year later, we conceived! I was on cloud 9. I thought all the hardships are over. But I was wrong. It was a chemical pregnancy and it didn’t sustain.

Similar chemical pregnancy happened again in another cycle. By this time I was shattered. I could see all my perseverance go in vain. My body had gone for a toss because of innumerable injections and hormonal medicines and all that it got me in return was pain.

We took a break from medical treatments. It was much needed. It meant, we can experience the pleasure when we really feel like it and not when doctors asked us to! It meant we could go on a holiday and not worry about our sonography dates. It meant I needed not make my arms and thighs black and blue from the injections.

After a year, we returned to the treatments. In this time, I cannot forget to mention the continuous probing from the relatives and family about how can we have kids, how we need to visit an astrologer, how we need to do this and how we need to do that. Anyway, the IUI saga continued without any results. We made about 13 attempts with this procedure. After that we lost it completely.

Then came the time of a battle between mind and body. Mind wanted a baby and the body was tired. All through this journey, I had cried equal to make a sea of my tears, even thought of ending my life (only thought, i am glad i didn’t do it) and had slipped deep into the depression.

Then came a hope in 2017. It was 8 years to our marriage. We had our first consultation with an IVF specialist and she showed us some hopes. IVF meant draining a lot of money and preparing my body for even tougher medical procedures. We were game for it. I wanted to conceive and give birth to a live child any how! Please do google and read about what IVF procedure is. That doctor held my hand took me along the path of motherhood step by step.

Finally with a lot of hardship, in March 2018 I gave birth to Aarnav. I felt like I am the King of the world! I am ready to die now, I have got all that I ever wanted. I am a mother now!

I cannot miss to mention that my immediate family stood by me like a rock during all these years. They pulled me out of depression each time I slipped. They cheered me each time I have cried and they have assured me each time I had doubted about this whole pregnancy and birthing thing. I am forever grateful to them.

Also, I thank God everyday for giving us our baby. It wouldn’t have been possible without his blessings.

I could overcome this challenge because of God, my family and my will power. I am glad I came out of it alive. I now truly understand the meaning of the phrase

When going gets tough, the tough get going” I am glad that I was tough enough to face all this and come out being what I always wanted to be – A mother!

 

 

STAY CALM, STAY SANE

We all have been witnessing this global threat called Corona since last three weeks. We are now well versed about Do’s & Don’ts about how to stay safe. There is lot of material that is shared on social media, television and other mediums about how to self quarantine, how to wash and sanitize hands, how to plan your life essentials etc etc. But one thing that I realised is missing is the focus on mental health. Keeping up the mental health during this tough time is as important as taking care of physical health.

Someone has said it right, you attract what you think. With so much details of death & infected toll, it is quite easy to feel depressed, worried and scared. One negative emotion leads to another and the chain continues. So how do we remain positive? While many could be having great plans of things to do during this time, I urge you all to take 10 mins from your day to focus on your mental health. This will not only help you in this time of test but it will help you through out your life span.

I am sharing a few things which I practice to improve my mental health. Like I said, it helps me immensely during the time of pressure at work, or any tension coming on the personal front.

1. Prayers: I believe that prayers have immense power. Pray to the God. One simple rule that I follow for prayers is to ask for the ability to be able to come over the difficulties rather than asking the end result. It is better to ask God to build and empower ourselves and let the God be the navigator or facilitator.

2. Meditation: This helps me a lot especially when I am unable to concentrate out of tension or when it seems to be a dead end and I don’t seem to find answers to the nasty questions life throws at me. 

3. Stay away from negative: This is a very important step. Just cut off yourself from negative news, negative places and negative people. I have totally cut out on checking news related to Corona, reading messages regarding it, keeping updated with death toll or even reading the so called funny forward messages related to it. Come one, by now we all know and understand what needs to be done so what is the point in catching up on news showing policemen beating the rule breakers or counting which state or the country is ranking highest in death or infection toll.

4. No discussion: I always follow that I talk less and act more. Well, I am talkative by nature and can carry out candid discussions very well with a toddler or a senior Citizen alike but when it comes to making way out of a problem I go on a mute mode. I speak less and act more. This saves your time and energy which you can put to better use than just discussing about how unfair it is to happen what really happened.

So friends, I hope I drew your attention to taking care of your mental health as well. Do take it seriously. Follow any method that suits you. Do share what you follow, I would like to learn from you and your experience.

Until then,stay calm and stay safe. Think positive and be positive.

DARE YOU CALL WOMEN WEAK!

I want to be with my baby, but I pick up my bag and head to work

I want to spend some time with my husband, but I prepare my kid’s uniform and school bag for the next day

I want to let my hair down and relax but the sink full of dishes is waiting for me

I want to call in sick at work but there is an important presentation with the leadership team

I want to binge watch web series but a trip to the grocery store is long due

I want to go out with my friends but there is no one to look after the house

I want to sleep in over the weekend but kids and husband have demanded a special breakfast

There is a lot that I want to do but I ALWAYS put my responsibilities first.

No – I am not seeking sympathy. I do it out of choice. I do it out of love.

WOMEN ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO CHOOSE OTHERS OVER THEIR DESIRES when
necessary.
WOMEN ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE OTHER’S DREAM
WOMEN ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO STAND UP LIKE A ROCK WHEN YOU SHATTER
DARE YOU CALL THEM A WEAKER SEX!
Women are strong, because they can continue doing selfless things for their whole life and yet not complain but dare you take them for granted.

I like how this gender equality awareness is gaining momentum these days,but few things never change because of the innate nature of the gender. I don’t mean to say that men cannot do the above things, but history is a witness to how things have always been. They still continue to be like that in most parts of the world.

But hey, let’s break the image of “Abla Naari”. Today, women are fiercely independent and they have the power to choose whether they want to do what they are expected to do. And yet they continue to choose everything else over them even today – That’s the beauty of womanhood.

Not just this, they have assumed a lot more responsibilities at domestic and career front yet they balance just everything. They are not helpless any more. They don’t need your sympathy, but yes, they do long for some respect from you. They are not a weaker sex any more. 

The first step towards gender equality is accepting that women are capable, strong and intelligent. Are we ready yet? For me, the true gender equality will set in when women are asked for their opinions in family decisions, when a husband seeks advice from his wife, when they are allowed to eat along with all the family members, when the birth of a girl is not frowned upon, when a poor father does not have to mortgage his land and house for the dowry, when girls are sent to schools along with their male siblings, when no woman is burnt alive, raped or victimised for dowry, when the girls are not traded for flesh.

Now tell me, World are we ready for #genderequality?