Lately life has taught me a lot in ways that I wouldn’t prefer.

It was 14th Feb, while everybody was busy wishing Valentine’s day to their loved ones – I was sitting in the hospital with my 3 year old son who had 103 degree fever. Unaware of what is causing the recurrent fever spikes, I was getting really tensed. He has had on and off cough since almost a month which I was not able to get rid of. I thought I had tried all possibilities to get rid of his cough but little did I know what lay ahead.

After 3 hours in the hospital I was in the doctor’s room. With the X-Ray report on her screen, the doctor looked at me seriously and said he has lung infection. We need to start him on antibiotics immediately. I was shocked. Lung infection? Again? Why? I had done all that the previous doctor had told me. What did I miss? He had a serious case of pneumonia when he was 1.5 years old and now again when he was 3. What did I do wrong?

Well 2 days of antibiotic did no impact on the infection. We had to admit him for 3 days. I cried to my pillow like crazy on the second night. Not just because I was worried but I felt horrible that I could not take care of him enough. It was only me and Joey on the third day in hospital because all other family members had to go attend a family wedding (which I and my son missed because of this unwelcomed infection).

When we came back from hospital, his immunity had dropped considerably. I had to leave my dog at the dog care center because animal hair would make his situation even worse. I called in Aastha to stay with me for those few days till my family would come back and she was a great help. He seemed to get better in a couple of days and I restarted his school – scared and worried.

Though things were getting back to normal, a couple of weeks later we visited a pulmonogist because it is not common for 3 year old to get pneumonia twice. I was literally hoping that he doesn’t give me any bad news regarding the anatomy of his lungs. He did not. But he said something worse – you cannot ignore even a single cough after a case of pneumonia. He needs to eat healthy, avoid dust, no pets, no junk food. Well, all this is something a mother generally knows isn’t it? Where did I miss it? Why didn’t I take him to pulmonogist when his cough wasn’t going away with cough syrups or anti-allergic? Why did I wait for the infection to reach his lungs? Am I not educated enough or do I not have common-sense?

Well, these are the thoughts that run into my mind now and they kill me every day. But initially I blamed everything apart from myself to run into this situation. I blamed my husband for staying away from us, and everybody else in my support system for not taking care of him enough, my work for keeping me extra busy, the circumstances, the doctor who told me that it is common cold and will go away with cough syrups. It took me time to see that I was standing right in middle of all this and all fingers are pointing at me. Every time I would talk to anybody about it, I would try to get defensive and say “You know that doctor doesn’t know anything” or “You know ginger honey really doesn’t work on cough” or whatever.

It took me almost a month of misery to take the responsibility of the situation. And I know that I was fearing getting blamed for all this. Well the fact is that I could have avoided him a lot of pain and whether I get blamed or not – I need to take responsibility of it. The sooner I accept the responsibility, lesser is the fear of being blamed. Blaming others is always easy but that is just one way of not accepting the responsibility.

Like they say – life sometime teaches you a hard way, especially when you resist learning something.



This picture looked easy but was kind of difficult to explain yet people have responded with enthusiasm and fun. They taught me so much by their ideas and perspectives about this picture. They talked about life, love, partners, marriage, relationships and friendships. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Hope my fellow authors and bloggers will enjoy them as well.

Following are the entries:

Avinash Das: “‘Q & A’ – Questions in life is like that black coffee ‘Raw – Few people like it – Incomplete – Unapproachable Look’ but Answers to those life’s questions brings the real taste – real look – approachable to all”

Sreepriya Menon: “Like black tea and milk, they blend together to make a family.”

Shrabani Tripathy: LIFE HAPPENS….TEA & COFFEE HELPS..😃

Pradita Kapahi: “He and she never agree…If he likes it black, she likes it sweet. But he and she can’t live without the other.. and that, in love, is what matters.”

Kalpana Kameshwari Vogeti: “Hold your cup and opportunities well before there’s a slip.”

Nerella Sima Das: “Contents in the cup 🏆 and the colour of the shirts are not same..whereas Sitting together and Holding the cup 🏆 in the same way..that’s all about the harmony of friendship 😊.”

Subha Smita: “‘U & Me’ – Different but always together.. 
Esther Bardhan: “We Agree to Disagree: When Perspectives Merge at Love.”
Preeta Bhatnagar: “‘Love = Respect each other’s choices’
So, I don’t want you to change for me, I love the way you are.”
Ipsita Patra:Whole and Soul is Life…”
Subhashree Das: “Hot & Cold no lukewarm.”
Gregory G Lewis: “Whether black or white, it’s all coffee on the inside.”
Vidhi Bomb: “Life is part coffee beans and part tea leaves. Dark and dreary sometimes, subtle and beautiful the other times.”
Geetmalini Sahu: “‘As u lyk it’ – sum lyk black & strong coffee ; while sum others prefer coffee creamy n blended with milk.”
Sony Abhishek Rout: “Life is about options. Options co-exists. Our choice, is what matters in the end.”
Arpita Mohanty: “Two aspect of life – i.e. Bitterness and Sweetness.”
Kuljeet Saini: “Life is black and white… It’s up to us to paint the colors in it…”
I don’t want to delay announcing the best one which I chose to be the winner of this particular competition… Esther Bardhan’ caption impacted me more for her simple, sweet yet very profound thought about any relationships, mostly about marriage.


Note:  The Wining Poster Certificate was set as the featured image of this post and will be displayed on the site’s sidebar as well till the next competition. 


Last week one day, I took the bus for my office, plugged-in my earphone and started enjoying some of my favorite lectures on YouTube. I was so much indulged watching those talks that I forgot to get down at the connecting point to catch another bus. After 5/7 minutes as I peeped-out of the window I found myself at a different location and immediately I blamed the conductor for not telling me that the bus will not go to my destination. As soon as I got down from the bus I was struck by a question – “Is that right, what I did? If I would have paid attention I wouldn’t have to land at wrong place”.

I became a Butterfly when I got out of the Cocoon…

There are always some cocoons exist in our life and to find them out let’s flashback to the beginning of the ‘Blame Game’ in the Garden of Eden after the first man and woman ate the forbidden fruit:

God asked Man: Where are you?

Man: I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.

God: Who told you that you are naked? Have you eaten the forbidden fruit?

Man: The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.

God: Woman, what is this you have done?

Woman: The Serpent deceived me, and I ate.

This incident has a great analogy to our daily life. Whether it is the cat fights of children or family issues or professional issues, everywhere we are very much accustomed to shifting of blames on others. It becomes very difficult for us to leave the cocoons of self-defense and self-righteousness. Often we try to leave them but alas.

Is it ever possible to leave these cocoons? Why I can’t see the beauty in others rather than lurking at their faults?

The Bible teaches us three very logical and possible exits from these cocoons –

  • Rationalize your character before shifting the blame – Before taking any decision or making any comment, let’s pause for a flashback of the entire incident and find-out where we have gone wrong. Bible says, And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
  • Judge your heart’s desire before shifting the blame on someone else – Human heart is desperately wicked and always falls into temptation very easily. Bible says, “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entices us and drag us away.
  • Confess your transgression before shifting the blame – Except God there is no one “perfect” in this world and whosoever calls him perfect, he grieves God and is a liar. Falling sort in transgression is very obvious for every human being. Bible says, “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy. Blessed are those who fear to do wrong, but the stubborn are headed for serious trouble.

Now we have the way to leave the cocoon easily!

Quote of the day

Sin entices slowly, Captures entirely.


This Monday evening, my daughter decides to have pizza. She wanted to go to a “pizza house” and dine in. I would like to pen down the conversation between my daughter and her daddy.

Anaya (my 3yrs old girl): “Daddy!!! I want to have a pizza.”

Daddy (my husband): “Okay, I will tell delivery uncle to get one for you!”

Anaya: “No daddy. I WANT to go to the pizza house.”

Daddy: “Why??”

Anaya (with a fake crying face): “I want to, daddy!”

So, her daddy takes her to the ‘pizza house’. At her ‘pizza house’, she goes directly to a table and sits and says, “I want to eat here daddy.”

Daddy: “But mommy and uncle are at home. They want to eat pizza too. We have to share.”

Anaya: “No daddy! I want it here!”

Daddy (tensed and confused): “But, mommy will cry and uncle too.”

Anaya (in a low sad voice): “Oh!!! Mmmmm okay daddy.”

Finally, they reach home with her pizza and he narrates this incident to me.

He adds, “What on Earth is a pizza house??”

She stood right next to her daddy while he was narrating and was eating her pizza.

I asked her, “You wanted to eat your pizza in the ‘pizza house’??”

She just nods yes.

I add (I make a sad and almost crying face and makes sure she notices); “Without mommy?” 

She looks at me, stares at her dad. It takes her just 30 seconds to decide. She then, points her finger at her daddy and says, “Daddy said”. 

My husband and I, we looked at each other with surprise. She knows how to blame shift.

Her daddy asks her, “What?? I told you to sit and eat there?”

She looks at her pizza and says, “Yes, daddy!” 

She had the cutest of expression and even though there was a lot of innocence, it wasn’t the right thing. She wanted to be the good girl and please mommy. She knew daddy could handle mommy, and everything would be fine. Even though her expressions and the entire situation was funny but I felt the need to make her understand, that it is okay, if she said so. It’s just a wish she had. I told her the same. I explained that she shouldn’t blame others for the things she did. It is a bad thing for a good girl. I hope she understands, remembers and implements it. Well, frankly, I thought of times when I blame shifted, just be safe and loved. I was reminded how I used to fight, just to prove that I wasn’t blame shifting. Even my daughter has seen me do that. I wondered, what if she has learnt it all from me. Am I guiding her in the right path? No, was the answer. 

I have come across a lot of families and blaming others, when they are being questioned, has been a common characteristic for all the different household. Knowingly or unknowingly, it just happens. May be not as frequent, but sometimes people just play that card. In my family, I have seen my mom being blamed for each and everything that goes wrong in our family. I see my mom blaming someone for a thing she couldn’t do. . Even my mom-in-law goes through the same. Sometimes I see myself doing, exactly the same thing. If I am sick and sad, I tend to blame someone for it and bring out my frustration.

There are situations where in a relationship, this blame game comes to play. One of them blames the other for the things that went wrong in their relation. Then the other person blames the former and vice versa and it goes on and on.  These are the things, kids see and learn. When into a relation, both persons are accountable for things they do for or towards each other, good or bad.  This point fades out and situations drift out of hand. Blaming others has always been an easy option. Moreover it keeps us safe, no matter if or how it jeopardizes somebody else’s character or affairs. 

Sadly, we never think of mending this kind of situation. It is so addictive, even though compromising. We don’t put efforts to correct our kids. We don’t explain to them that whatever happens to them is an outcome of what they did, and not because of any situation, person or thing. Whatever they do and the result of it is solely their responsibility. We have only become more intelligent in our work. We as of now blame lifeless elements, where the other person has no option but to just keep mum. For example, today I was asked by one of my brothers, about a task he has given me to do. It was done but wasn’t perfect. Even though I told him the truth, still I blamed my house chores for keeping me from finishing it. Somehow, it has seeped into us and is so deeply rooted that, we just can’t avoid it. Even if we can, we don’t. 

I will not urge you to let go. I will, but try and change myself. I will refrain from giving excuses and blaming others for things I have been doing. All my success and my failures are mine. It’s my efforts that contribute into making me a success or a failure. I will try and be accountable in situations as such. I will try to use my anger, fear, guilt and shame to build me in the correct way. I will not make me, stand in my way to success. I will try and be a good example to my kid and the society. I will try.

Quote of the day

When life knocks you down, it’s you who has to roll on and gather up the courage to look up high at the sky.


When things go wrong, it is very convenient to blame someone else for that. And we do the same when life puts us in a difficult situation. Today I am going to share something about myself, my life. I am going to share how did I reach the other side of the blame.

It wasn’t long ago that my life was a mess. I had switched to a new job – a very well paying one. But little did I know that I was in a wrong place. People over there weren’t good humans, or so I thought. My immediate boss was keen to insult me and put me down even for smallest errors and made derogatory remarks and a colleague was more than officially interested in me. This person made sure that he does his best to spoil my relationship with my husband in one way or the other. And unfortunately, he had succeeded to a great extent. My husband and I started having petty fights over office issues which gradually turned into bigger fights. My world had come crashing down. In all this hardship, I suffered two miscarriages. I was ruined on the personal as well as professional front. I choose not to describe my situation further because thankfully the worst is over now and the negativity from the past need not be remembered.
I felt like I had fallen in a deep and dark pothole and there was no way to escape. I cribbed and cried and blamed God to put me in such a difficult situation. I turned into a negative person, a bad soul. You couldn’t call me anything better because I had dared to hold the Almighty responsible for my pathetic and disgusting state. I had concluded that it is my destiny and I cannot help the wrongdoing happening around me.
But as kind as God is, He showed me a way. I happened to read a book called “The Laws of The Spirit World”. Not sure how many of you have read or even heard about it but let me tell you, it is a great book, very enlightening! This book initiated my spiritual journey. And the first step was to look within. This book taught me that I am the creator of my life (the way I live). I am the reason to all the consequences. All the incorrect things that were happening to me were the result of my own actions. It also taught me that the people who trouble you are merely a medium to make you go through the suffering you have created for yourself because of your choices and actions. God is not responsible for it. He doesn’t do bad things for you! You cannot blame Him but can ask Him to rescue from your difficult life.
Never blame others for the things that happen in you life. You can change anytime you want to. Most people are weak because they choose to be.
Those who believe in destiny lead their life as though they are powerless. They feel no matter what they do, “what has to happen will happen”. This is not the right way of thinking as the future circumstances depend on your present actions. 
The above extract from this book was an eye-opener. When the message sank in completely, I could dare to take that first step towards owning my mistakes and not blaming anyone else for it.
Yes, it was my mistake that probably I had unknowingly encouraged that guy to enter my personal life. I could have drawn the line but I failed. Had I not failed to do so, perhaps he would have never dared to go to the extent he did.
Yes, it was my mistake that I let my boss ridicule me for everything. I could have taken this up with the super boss or HR at the right time, but I didn’t. Instead I pitied myself and tried to seek comfort in self sympathizing.
Your life is what you make it. So don’t blame others when you screw up. If your face is ugly, you cannot blame the mirror. When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you learn that everything springs from only yourself, you will learn both, peace and joy. 
This little amount of knowledge gave me enough strength to walk on the right path. I gave up that job which cost me a lot on the financial front but peace of mind and love of my husband was my priority. I learnt to face that demon who wanted to separate me from my husband. It definitely sounds easier than done. And all this courage came to me only after I stopped blaming God and destiny, only after I learnt to own my mistakes.
Today, I stand on the other side of the blame. I have a better job than before in all aspects. My career is flourishing. The demon doesn’t bother me any more. And most importantly, my relationship with my husband has grown stronger than ever. Now I am sure that come what may, he will always stand by my side and no Tom, Dick and Harry shall be able to break our relationship. The most wonderful thing has happened to us. Our baby!
It took immense courage to accept my faults and accept that feeling that I have really erred so much in the past that it justifies the testing and trial that I was put through. I can’t thank God enough to hold my hand and make me walk on the right path.
I am not sure how many of you will relate to this. But what you give comes back to you. Hence be good, do good. Never blame anybody for your failure. Instead look within, chances are God may let you find answers yourself.