SELF-TELEPORTATION BACK TO NORMALCY

I have seen you are very particular in noticing stuff. You caught a friend for posting a black DP, you are always interactive in the group, you respond for sure and quick…You store memoirs well. You kept the picture and what all I had written on that picture for your birthday…Those are some beautiful gestures…Whereas you were very quiet, backing out, negative, etc., previously…

‘Transformation’, that I have seen in you over the last few months. What made you change so much? Can you reflect on what made you sad, grumpy and depressive in the past and what really made you a happy woman once again?

The moment Chiradeep gave me the task of the week, I was thrilled to know that just like me, he himself is good at noticing things because everything he mentioned about me is absolutely correct.

As soon as I get time, I check my WhatsApp, which sometimes gets delayed, of course, if I am busy. I notice distinctive stuff and if there’s something wrong with a person’s display pic or status, then it troubles me too because I care for those who care for me. I am not that great that I bother those also who don’t bother me 😉.

I have been like that ever since. I want people around me to be perfectly fine and happy and if I can help them in any way, I do.

I remember my sister Kuljeet once complimenting me about my good observing skills and buying unusual gifts.

I love preserving stuff- stuff that is close to my heart. The way Chiradeep described me in my picture was more than enough to boost my confidence and make me happy at that point of time. I have been keeping the memories since the snail mail age. I have letters from my childhood buddies- Kuljeet and Prabhjot. I have a handwritten autobiography of my late grandfather, which I typed later, keeping it safely as a digital document. From chocolate wrappers eaten while having fun with my friends, to the special golden edition of the newspaper celebrating our country’s 50th Independence, I have been preserving everything that I love. I even kept the bills of the café shops and restaurants, when I used to go out with Anuj, before marriage. I have also preserved the clamps with which the umbilical cords of my sons were tied after cutting.

Why I do this? Because it gives me sheer pleasure in safeguarding memories. Years later when I go through this old stuff, I feel so ecstatic. It’s so much fun to recall old forgotten incidents.

Coming to the main point “transformation”, I would like to correct here that its not my transformation, but I am back to my old self. When I joined Candles, I was going through a terrible phase. I am sure most of us have witnessed a phase in life when the career takes an upper hand than the family members, of course for the betterment of the family. Anuj did his MBA, along with his job. After that, he had to shift to another city, leaving me and kids. Tough and crucial period it was for him and for me as well. I am a very strong person, but my strength is my husband. I go weak if he’s not there with me. The world around collapses for me if we are not together. He’s my life and my soul. Distances don’t keep relations apart, but they do keep the people away from each other. No matter how hard I tried to stay strong, I failed. Thankfully, Anuj made me take up a job before he left, otherwise I would have gone berserk. Work keeps you so busy that you don’t have much time to think about the negative thoughts that dwell inside you.

My sisters kept counselling me. Kuljeet kept reminding me, “Its just a phase.” My friends were there to lift me up. Yes, it was a phase and I am delighted it’s over. Now, I am back to my normal self, because after a long time Anuj and I are together and are living a normal life.

A SMILE – IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO KEEP GOING

Getting married, at an early age- not a child marriage though. It was not the time I intended to get married that is what I meant.

It just led me to grapple enough during the initial phases of my life. It was the time when I felt I should give up and drop away most of the time. I was like a fragile age of 21- which was the budding stage of my career. Work, home and marriage were tough to handle, as I never knew what to prioritize.

Anyways, no repent over the spilt milk.

When I was accentuated out, I spoke to friends, finally, when I thought I was crushing them with my silly grievances, I finally found nirvana in music. Lost in the music, it was easier for me to work along. Even when I was exhausted after work, I plugged in my music and did my household works.

For years this went on if I did ever recall.

I was also someone who enjoyed a lousy day, sleeping all day along, watching movies, doing nothing but just munching on every day. Seems I was never a fortunate one to enjoy it, as I was carrying the burdens of expectation beyond my reach. Managing my own dreams was easier than working on others demands.

Seems I was too exhausted, as I was breaking away and finally gave up my job which was either not meeting my expectations or vice versa.

Then came the blessed moments of my life, which I attribute as the best of my innings and truly the reason that I am happier in my life. Thinking about it buds a smile on me. Indeed the driving force in my life.

When I became a mother, there was a transformation in me, something beyond my expectations. I started to keep myself second in the queues or preferably last and considered to meet the needs of my child first and then the rest and finally me (which never happened though). Motherhood indeed steps us into a different world.  A world beyond imagination – as the feel was tremendous. I was someone like a career-oriented one who focused on winning. But with my little one in my arms, I wanted to just win her smile. Nothing else ever mattered me then.

Life is much easier when you are doing every bit of it yourself than expecting someone else to come into the picture.

It is the only thought I follow when I am lost in the countless number of responsibilities I have to carry on, in a day.

I am no different, as compared to any other mother in the world. I believe the rest do better than me always. The earlier years of my life taught me many things, that led me to handle this current line of responsibilities.

I fall and mend myself 

Like a baby learning to crawl and walk, I try and fall quite a number of times with none to pick me up when I fall off. I just pick myself up and push harder to reach my tasks.

My day begins in the early hours of the morning, as my kids are off to school by 7. It is quite early and I usually crib a lot in the morning, as the timings don’t let my kids sleep well. I have to cook her lunch and breakfast. Even though I can liberally choose simple ones, I don’t want to lose the taste of our Keralite dishes, which I savoured in my childhood.

I wake up by 5: 30, then either go for a walk or just idle around with a cup of tea in my hand with all things mounted on my stove. Call me a bad mom or irresponsible, I just taught my daughter who is hardly 8 years to dress up on her own. She does everything on her own- hence I am a proud mother.

Call it my lack of time management too- as I cannot dress her up, when I am in the kitchen. Thanks to her, as she helped me by doing her best for me.

Once all the lunch boxes are packed, and my kids and husband are off to school and office. It is my time.

I just clean up, my kitchen, and pending washing, simultaneously logging in to my work. Bein a work-from-home mother, I am privileged to do work in the comfort of my home. Thanks to all those who trust and assure work to me. It is great to ideally financially independent – that truly makes you feel great.

Another advantage I enjoy is the considerable amount of time, I can spend with my loving kids. It is the only pleasure I want to cherish until death. I work, do all my reading etc. the researching part of my content writer work before my kids arrive.

By evening time, I make something for kids and make them sit with me to finish their work, along with my work. As work is important- I can’t ignore that responsibility. As the day ends, I cook the hot dinner for my family and enjoy the bliss of togetherness on the dining table, where we enjoy the days’ joy, sharing what all we did the whole day.

In between all these, when I am struck with the lightning of thoughts, that are overflowing me- I just pen it down in my blogs. It gives me tremendous pleasure to share my thoughts through my writings.

Call me selfish

All day, even am burdened with responsibilities, I truly treasure my family. I just do everything I can without anyone around offering me help, as it is my happiness.

A joy that keeps me going is the smile of my kids and their happiness. 

THE GOSSIPS AROUND A YOUNG GIRL

As an IT Professional either you work as a team lead or work under a team leader. As far as my knowledge is concerned you lead a team. Probably you are a wonderful leader. Every time you work among people or with people. And when there are people, there are gossips and rumours. Some are lies, some are true yet hurtful. Have you ever heard your teammates talking against you? How do you react to the gossips and rumours that go on against you? Do they help you develop yourself or demoralize you? Do those pinching words and statements make your life miserable or they benefit you to rectify yourself for a better you?

This is the problem statement given to me by my leader in Candles Online and I think he knows me really well to ask me this question. I can write a book on this topic but I think I would end up sounding as a victim if I do so. This topic really touches a sensitive nerve and I can only share limited information because this is a public platform and people reading this article know me and probably work or have worked with me. If I wrote this as an anonymous, I would have revealed a lot of secrets than I do now.

I was 20 days away from my 22nd birthday when I joined the corporate life. It was right after my B.Tech that I joined an MNC (US based) and was new to Bangalore. I was a super-excited kid then, high on ambitions and a little bit careless and immature. Little did I know then that I was embarking a journey that will define me and my personality!

I joined a team which was male-dominated – in a team of 30 people we were only 4 women. And 2 of us were from the same college joining together. Other two were quite high in experience. Rest of the team was full of men in their mid to late 20s or even mid-30s. Well, initially it was all good. I loved being a part of this team. It was just perfect. Everybody was super helpful and they made me a part of this family in no time. I thought I made some great friends but I was not aware of the fact that friends made at the workplace are usually just meant for work.

Within 6 months of joining I was given a raise because I did some good work. But along with that I also got a shock of my life. It was apparent that people recognized my talent but sometimes I felt that I was being given too much importance because of that. Then one day I heard a lot of people laughing and gossiping in the next cubicle. Curious as I was, I peeped in to know what the joke was. By then the guys were quite comfortable in my company – so they said: “we are not able to decide whether to hire the green girl or the red one”. I was confused. “What do you mean?” I asked them. None of them said anything and walked away. I was curious so I poked a guy who had become a good friend by then. He said “Interviews are being conducted for further hiring. They were joking whether they should hire the girl in the green suit or red top.” I was shocked. “What? How does that even matter? How capable are those girls?” I asked. “How does it matter? Whoever is the prettiest will get picked?” He laughed. I almost missed a beat and not only that my shock was quite apparent on my face. He got it and said “Oh, don’t worry. Everybody is aware of your talent now.” “What do you mean ‘now’? Tell me what criteria was I hired on?” I almost shouted thinking hard what I wore on during my interviews. He hesitated and then said “Ok, if you really want to know. You didn’t do very well. You got most of it only partially right.” I was crying inside and trying very hard to not let it show. “Well, were there other ‘guys’ who did better than me?” He smirked, “Yes, from your college only.”

I remember this incident very well. Because that was the first ever shock I got in my corporate life. I thought everything was perfect and I had landed in a perfect place, a perfect team. What, I was hired to look pretty? My first reaction was to just resign but sanity took better off me and I decided to continue just to prove that I am rather talented and much more than most of them. So I became competitive, a bit too much maybe. That really went in my favour but all the while there was a sulking negativity inside me.

This same guy who had revealed this information to me, later on, went on to propose me for marriage. I refused since I was not in a state of mind to think about it. C’mon I was just 23. He got engaged quite soon in an arranged manner but for a long time, other teammates believed that I was heartbroken and sad because of his marriage. I continued to get a lot of attention in this area which I simply hated. Why did they want to interfere in my personal life? I can never understand. These rumours really irritated me to the extent that I completely cut off from this colleague with all personal aspects.

There is one more incident that stands out. I got a chance to visit the US in 2007 just a year after I joined. It was for a specific project and I was super excited. I had to travel with 3 other colleagues of mine. None of them was really good friends of mine. I was a very open and friendly person. I was a kid who used to speak her mind. I never really cared at that point of time “What would people think of me?” So the first weekend in the US, I asked these guys out for a swimming session. I was very excited because the hotel had a heated pool and the idea was too exhilarating for me as I love swimming. One of the guys agreed to join me. As a result, we met at the agreed time and I changed into my swimming costume and we had a good one hour of swimming which was very relaxing yet tiring.

Next day when I went to work, I got a ping from a colleague who was in India. And he asked me “How my swimming session was?” I was surprised. How did this news even travel thousands of miles? Was it a big deal? Well yes, it was. Apparently, every detail of that one hour was discussed which included the details of my swimming costume as well. Trust me, I really devastated after listening to all this. It was horrible. I felt so lonely in that country that I gave up the idea of studying abroad and working there. All I wanted was to come back home and be with my people. Well, it wasn’t possible then. I was there on a 3-month project, so I decided to confront these guys. I did but it just ended up in a fight and a bad argument.

Yes, I am an open-minded girl. I like to dress up. I like to party and all. But how does that ever mean that I am seeking attention or I am ‘easy and available’. Well, that was what my image became after a few years of working in that team. I was linked with a lot of men even after I was married. I hate to remember that time. I have only recited a couple of incidents but those few years that I worked there – it was really bad. Sad as it is, I was not aware of any harassment at workplace policy neither did I take pains to figure those out.

Once I even heard a horrible comment passed for a girl who worked with us for a very short duration before she was fired. She was extremely pretty and was fired because she was extremely poor in her performance. The comment that was passed for her was – “Why did they have to fire her? All she had to do was to kiss each one of us every day. That would be enough for us.” I was flabbergasted when I heard this. I was so shocked that I couldn’t speak and retaliate. The only thought that ran again and again in my head was “Am I also talked about the same way?” Well, that comment was made in front of me without being scared of me. Why did I let that happen? I still don’t know. I probably lacked courage in letting such men know how they are supposed to behave. And because of that, I ended up being a victim.

I should have stood up for what I felt was wrong and insulting. Instead, I tried to be “cool girl” who doesn’t care. I should have spoken about it and took help from authorities to rectify so much that was wrong. Instead, I just stayed silent and tolerated. I took these guys to be my friends, believed them to be my own people when I constantly felt insulted by them. There was constant fear that kept growing, that fear was of being judged for every choice that I make. Choice of picking up what to wear each morning to the choice of laughing at somebody’s joke, choice of trying to be one of them and choice of talking to them and those multiple choices that I made during those years. One fine day when I decided to quit, everything ended just like that.

When I joined the new place, I decided that I want to be known for my work and not for anything else. It has been almost 5 years since that era ended and I lead a team now. I believe I am known for my work and I think I am happy with the way I have proven myself (to me). I made some strong rules when I joined this organization.

1. No friends (especially male)
2. No nonsense. Just talk work and come home
3. Work super hard. Keep the focus always on work
4. No extra-curricular. Earlier I used to participate in dance competitions, sports competitions and other such stuff.
5. Always remember what you are being paid for and how you are returning back to the organization.
6. Follow your intuition. If you don’t feel comfortable – speak up and loud.

My current organization has a good male to female ratio, so that really helps. Although, it was a horrible time that I went through in my first organization – I have become a much better and matured person since then. Every incident helps us to grow. Every person who comes in your life comes to teach you something. I have been through counselling and therapy sessions to get over the impact of all those years. It took time to rebuild my confidence and become who I am today. So, today I do not hold any grudges to any of the people I came across earlier.

I hope I answered your question well, Charlie!

WHEN PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIVES COLLIDE

Many of us lead two lives – personal and professional. Our day is split between these two lives. The two sides of us are so intertwined that a problem with one without a doubt affects the other. Small disturbances like occasional fights with significant other, kids falling sick as well might affect us at work temporarily. Can something more severe in degree take away our concentration and dedication towards work? It might be the death of a family member, end of a friendship, breakup or a family member suffering from an illness like cancer. The answer to this mostly depends on whether or not we are passionate about what we do. If we are passionate, we won’t give up on the job but find a way to deal with it.

The last three years of my life had three negative moments which were very personal. The pain of those is still there in me, deep down. There are days at work when I am sitting at my desk with tears rolling down. During that time, I can hardly concentrate on whatever I am doing. I must agree that emotions can engulf us at any time. If the pain is unbearable, I walk up to the restroom, have personal time to cry out. It is very important to acknowledge but not resist the confrontation to our own feelings. It is better to let them out. Shed the tears, holding on to them could be counterproductive.

Some days are a little worse. Either I would have had a bad dream or wake up and feel very low. I pull myself out of the bed, walk up to my plants, water them, talk to them and sometimes I just break down before them. I know that unlike pets, plants cannot understand us, but there is no other soul who I can talk to. Such days when I cannot control my thoughts, I usually opt to take leave from work. It certainly helps to sort out the thoughts and return back to work with clearer self the day after. It would always help to take a break from work, not a long one, but a day or two does benefit us in many ways.

There is one more thing that really helped me over time. Disconnection from social media. It is better to have lesser distractions when we are already fighting to concentrate. Not only that, say, for example, you had a break-up. A few days later your ex posts a picture, is it really important to see that? I don’t really think so. Once we give up on someone or they give up on us, it is always better to let them go not just from life but from the radar of our attention. We don’t really need to spend our valuable time on someone who doesn’t really value us.

Most of the times I pulled it through but there was a time when I just could not deliver at work. I was feeling very guilty. At the same time, I did not think it was appropriate to talk to any of my colleague’s. I was struggling, literally, nothing was working. I could not read a design document or a requirement document to understand them. After some time, I thought it might be better for me to resign, sit at home and return back to work when I feel better. I walked up to my manager’s cabin to tell him to accept my resignation. I tried once, twice but I couldn’t do it, my inner voice was shouting at me to just do it. I finally gathered courage and told my manager the decision. He did not react much but listened to my problem with great interest. He said, “You know what, while I agree that you need a break, I do not agree that you need to resign. This weekend please sleep well, take good care of yourself and we shall talk on Monday”. In our next meeting, he said many encouraging words and gave me feedback which brought me back on track. That is when I understood he was observing me. Our managers/supervisors are not always our go-to people, but they have the right to know why we have been under performing. A good leader would show the right path, so, it is always better to talk to them. We have to be careful about how much we let them into our personal territory.

While on the personal front things weren’t good, things weren’t great at work either. No person used to talk to me (I was new in the team). People had their own doubts on me. Every design of mine was going through several levels of scrutiny. My ideas weren’t even seconded by another person. The problems I raised were unheard. There was neither recognition nor a word of encouragement. I had been through a lot to prove what I am capable of.

From leading one crucial module in our product, two years down the line, today I am technically responsible for the entire platform we are creating for our new line of products. There is an onus on me to deliver. I work for a healthcare company, the first thing I see in the morning is a visual of a happy mother holding her newborn (Imagined visual). The joy in the moms’ eyes keeps me going, on and on. This is possible only because I am passionate about what I do. No matter what happens, how many people say that I should leave my job to get back to my family, my job brings satisfaction to me. I do not need another person to acknowledge how good I am, the added responsibilities at work speak for themselves!!

“I’M IN THE SPOTLIGHT” – DISCOVERING SELF

I remember when I proposed this ‘Discovering Self’ series, in the beginning, everyone was doubtful about what I was talking. But as one or two posts were published one after the other all of the members of my team started to feel excited about their time to come. And soon days passed by with a total of 12 writers answering the questions asked to them by their teammates.

Personally, it was an amazing experience answering 10 questions prepared by teammates, my angels for their leader – Mr Charlie 😛

Summarising the whole series, I want to quote a few of the writers for their remarkable statements. They are as under:

We only concentrate on whom we love ignoring those who are showering us with love. Virtual connections and texting are only making it worse. Physical presence, caring touch, a delightful hug has become a rarity. There are very small things in life we stopped appreciating.  – Aastha

If I could eliminate a vice, then that would be “the Ignorance in human heart regarding the sovereignty of God”. – Avinash

I ask a simple question “can I change anything?” If the answer is yes then I must do it instead of sulking in a corner and if no then I should better go to bed to avoid dark circles thinking over spilt milk. – Kalpana

I love myself the way I am. I always have had pampered myself and loved all my flaws. I believe, my flaws are the most beautiful in me. Through my flaws, I get a feeling that I am strong and determined. So, I am not going to make any changes in my physique or appearance… – Prerna

Alone in space!! That would be scary! But if I am to think of such a time, well, first it would take a while to grasp the fact that I am all alone there. Then, I think I would wonder at the magnanimity of the celestial bodies that I would witness all around me and begin to praise the Creator who has created them. – Rajnandini

I question my abilities every day and there is this urge to give up on my dream. But this dream has grown on me and taken hold of me so forcefully that I have nurtured it in my heart like my blood and flesh child. I just can’t afford to give up on it. – Saakshi

I think I’d just sit and laugh. Laugh around people I love and make them laugh. Spend all my time with them and make sure they are happy in that very moment. I think seeing your loved ones happy is the most satisfying scene. – Vidhi

In my opinion, no matter how hard we try, something or the other happiness slips away through our fingers. I have no regrets in my life. I believe God has blessed me more than I deserve. – Geetmalini

I say no only if I am not able to do what’s been asked. Popularity is secondary for me. – Preeta

Even salt looks like sugar. Unless verified, a blind trust can spoil a dish. I have faced difficulties because I easily trust anyone. Bitter experiences in the past have taught me to trust better people over time. – Deepa

I actually haven’t discovered my comfort zone yet. I surprise myself when I do something new. But haven’t really known the boundary of this. – Shwetha

I am known to work and live with people who are not easy to work and live with. I can put up with any kind of people. It sometimes is difficult for me but I am very adjusting. I think that is one quality that overshadows my other weaknesses. – Prabhjot

I am so overwhelmed by these statements of my beloved teammates that I can’t explain. As Prabhjot said: “I feel like a celebrity answering these interesting questions.” And I want to assure them all that they are not less than the celebrities in any manner. That is why I created a new scroll-down-tab on Candles Online named – “Discovering Self” where all of our answers were arranged as individual profile pages. Please check for the same on the Menu Bar on the top of the site.

To end with, I will quote Vidhi again when she was thanking me for organising this particular event on Candles Online: “It definitely made me think of what exactly I’d be doing in various situations and also helped me dig deeper into my own self.

It is always good to be under the scanner, be once in a spotlight – answering questions and spend time introspecting within our hearts to prove our credibility in front of the people as well as before God.

Stay Blessed!!!

I AM IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Prabhjot

I totally loved answering these questions, I hope you all enjoy reading them. Some of the questions really made me introspect and think about myself. I have been as honest as I am comfortable on a public platform.

Thanks for this opportunity, Chiradeep. And thanks to you Shwetha for asking these very amazing questions

1: How would your best friends describe you?

Ans: When you say best friends, one name stands out for me – Hina Kapoor. She has been my friend since last 20 odd years or so and we have been close ever since. How would she describe me? She would probably say that I am a little crazy but I am fun. I know she would complain about me for not always keeping in touch with her, but she would also say that she loves me nonetheless. She would say that I have been there for her since ever and she can share the world with me. She would probably say that I am a good listener and can understand her quite deeply. She would claim that she can rely on me for anything at all and knows that I won’t say no to her.

2: Do you think, out of your personal experience, that love can happen between two complete strangers?

Ans: No. Love is a feeling way too deep and holy. It can never happen between two strangers. There have been times when I have felt physically attracted towards men who are complete strangers, there have been times when I have felt very comfortable in a company of a stranger and there have been times when I have felt the need to talk a particular stranger. But none of these positive feelings can be termed as love. Yes, such positive feelings can be a beginning of something as beautiful as love. But love, at first sight, doesn’t exist. Or even if it does – I have never experienced it.

3: What according to you is more precious – friendship or love or both need to be together?

Ans: This question hits one of my sensitive nerves I think. And I don’t know if answering this is really simple. I believe that love for a person can die and I have seen numerous such examples around me when the feeling of love just vanishes. But friendship (if it is true) is eternal. So, I think I would always prefer to be friends with the person I love and I know for sure that even if our love disappears – friendship will remain. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where there is only love and no friendship because then I believe the foundation of such a relationship isn’t strong enough.

4: How do you manage stress and depressive state of mind on a daily basis?

Ans: The way in which I manage stress and depression is to cry it out. But it doesn’t work always. So I always had a Plan B to manage it which has been changing since years. When I was a young teenager, I used to put on music and dance. Later when I was in my mid-20s – I used to workout (either hit the gym or run). But I think those were the ways in which I just used to distract myself from the situation. It was my way of just expending all the energy and get so tired that I wouldn’t have any more energy to be sad. Now being a bit older and wiser, I have resorted to meditation. I meditate from anywhere between 15 mins to an hour. It really calms me down and brings me to the right perspective. I feel I have become a better person since I started this practice and I hope I get better.

5: Do you lose your temper and scream or keep the anger inside yourself avoiding the devastation?

Ans: It depends on the person and situation. If it is my husband, parents or sister – I would just let my temper out and scream. Mainly because I know that they are my own people and I can be myself in front of them. But if I get angry at my workplace or with outsiders, I try not to react to the situation at all. I take time off and probably think over it even sleep over it and then try to resolve the situation.

6: Do you hold grudges or you can forgive easily?

Ans: I would say that I try to forgive but it is not always easy. I take time, patience, empathy, compassion and a change in perspective to really forgive a person and move on. Honestly, in spite of knowing that I must forgive – I am sometimes just not ready to forgive mostly because I need a closure to my anger. This is one of the areas where I know the right thing to do but my own fears stop me from forgiving the other person. It is indeed difficult. Forgiveness never comes easy especially when the pain is too deep.

7: What steps do you take when you desperately need some inspiration?

Ans: I read. I am crazy about self-help books. There are some of them which I have read multiple times. Books just tend to have the maximum impact on me. Currently, I am reading a book called “Lady, you are not a man!” by Apurva Purohit. It is all about women who want to make their family and career a huge success. It is a balance that can drive a woman crazy. This book has made me laugh and it has made me cry. There is just so much that I could relate to in this book. Very good insights and tips to not drive yourself crazy while keeping this delicate balance.

Next one in the queue is “Mindfulness in plain English”. This one is about meditation and is inspired by Buddhism. I always have a list of self-help books that I want to read. I use my kindle to its fullest. Anybody is welcome to have this discussion with me, I would love it.

8: What are your guilty pleasures? Do you mind sharing them?

Ans: Of course, I would love to share them. I hope I have some people saying “me too”. Food is something that I derive a lot of pleasure from. When I am too stressed or feel bored, all I can think of is that bowl of pasta and choco lava cake. Sometimes I think about fries, chips or Maggi. Sometimes it is about ice-creams or ultimate “death by chocolate”. I love eating and invariably I end up feeling guilty soon after I finish it. This is my relationship with food which has caused me to be overweight along with some other lifestyles issues. I am working on it constantly by telling myself that food is meant for nourishment and not for pleasure. There should be other things that I must look forward to pleasure. Food is not the right choice.

9: You got a free pass to do anything you wish without paying a single penny. What would you opt to make that pass worthwhile?

Ans: This is one question that I spent maximum time on thinking. There are two things that I would love to do.

First one is – I would like to use it for travelling to different places but not travel like a tourist and see the world around. I would like to really spend time with each culture and understand their values and traditions. I would like to live with them for a few months, really live their lives and understand their joys and their challenges. Because I think that would really make me open my perspective.

The second one is – I would like to travel to space and experience zero gravity. I know it sounds silly but I have always wanted to do this since I was a child. This is the reason I wanted to be an astronaut. No specific reason for this wish except for the experience.

10: Share about your one strength that overshadows all your weaknesses and one weakness that demeans all your goodness.

Ans: This is the best question in this list. I am known to work and live with people who are not easy to work and live with. I can put up with any kind of people. It sometimes is difficult for me but I am very adjusting. I think that is one quality that overshadows my other weaknesses.

It is very difficult for me to say “no” to people especially when I know that my “no” will hurt the other person. Even when I believe for sure that it has to be “no”, I find it challenging. Saying “yes” in a situation when I should have said a “no” has quite horrible consequences. I believe this is one weakness that makes all my goodness go down the drain.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I loved answering these questions.

I AM IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Shwetha

Thank you Vidhi for such probing questions. Thank goodness, Chiradeep told me that I have the option to skip 3 questions maximum. 🙂 

Let me answer then right away…

1) What makes you truly happy?

2) What is that one thing you’ll do anything to achieve it?

Ans: Well, I’m going to combine these two questions and try to answer them.

It’s very difficult to find even a ray of happiness amidst chaos. And finding something that makes me happy is next to impossible. 

But speaking of what makes my soul ‘truly happy’ then I would say my kids, my 2 beautiful boys. No matter where they are or what all they do to torture me (they are literally brats) or how much they adore me, they are the best things in my life. Seeing them giggle or laugh out loud or are insanely happy about the smallest things, makes me truly happy. I consider myself to be responsible for their lives and they, thus are responsible for my happiness. And for that, I would literally flip the world upside down.

3) Do you run away from situations or fight with it out?

It depends on the situation.

Mostly I fight with it, for it. I’m not the backing out kinda person. If I know I’m right, I stay put and fight with everything I’ve got. I hate to be held accountable for the wrongs which aren’t my fault. So I stand tall and face it with all my will. But…

Sometimes, such situations arise which are better left the way they are and just run as far away as possible from them because they will leave your soul marred for the rest of your life.

4) When you are sad, do you feel comfortable sharing things or do you keep everything to yourself?

Everyone in this world has their own set of problems. Some share and feel better.

I, for one, am the quiet type. I don’t like to share. I shut myself from the world and hide in my shell, like a tortoise. It’s difficult for the other person to understand what I am going through, and I don’t expect it either. So I prefer to keep mum.

5) Do you believe in the concept of self-love or self-sacrifice?

Ans: Silence is Golden… :p 

6) When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone?

Ans: I actually haven’t discovered my comfort zone yet. I surprise myself when I do something new. But haven’t really known the boundary of this.

7) What’s that one thing you would do if nobody is judging you? 

Ans: Hahaha… that’s really interesting.

You do know that no matter what you do, people judge.

Anyway, if nobody is judging me, then I would be the real me – Bold, beautiful and audaciously insane.

8) Would you rather roam around clicking pictures or run around with a journal and a pen?

Ans: Ah! A tricky one!! I would say… I would click the picture that would inspire me to pen down the beauty of it.

9) Are you using your time efficiently?

Ans: I think, the responsibilities I have to carry out every day, I carry them out efficiently. Does that mean I use my time efficiently? 😉

10) What according to you is the purpose of your life?

Ans: To answer this… I’ll be taking the reference of questions 1 & 2…

I brought two beautiful souls into this world. Taking care of them in every possible way there is and making them feel proud to have a mother like me, is the sole purpose of my life. So right now, the purpose of my life is to be a good mother. 

In the end, I just want to mention one poem to encourage my readers along with my own self:

Don’t be like the mighty elephant
tied with a meek string.
Know your own strength and
all the wondrous marvels it can bring.