STEPPING INTO THE NEW YEAR TOGETHER

“We heal, not in isolation, but in togetherness”

This quote is so true, especially in the current times, when going out still contains a little risk. We managed for 2 years, sitting inside our homes and managing to stay together virtually. We all hope and pray that the new year marks the end of the scary coronavirus and the world is freed from the COVID pandemic.

We planned a get-together on the very first day of the new year. I met my sister Prabhjot after 2 years, though didn’t feel like meeting her after ages, as we are in constant touch with each other through WhatsApp. However, it was different for our kids, who rarely video call each other. My elder son doesn’t like to talk to his friends virtually. He says that he misses them and wants to meet them, physically, face to face. The kids have really suffered a lot during this pandemic. It feels bad that they missed out a lot due to isolation. 

Yesterday, our sons were super excited since morning and were so happy to meet each other after a long gap. They played, laughed out loudly, danced, and had fun together. Now, they are looking forward to more such frequent get-togethers, and so are we.

Spending time together with family & friends, sharing joy & happiness, having endless talks, and eating delicacies are indeed delightful. With a beautiful start to this new year, I wish the rest of the days are well spent, for everyone. I pray that we get to meet our loved ones often and share the good times, for togetherness is a wonderful place to be in.

Stay happy! Stay together!

I WISH…

Rocking her baby, bogged down by the opinion of nay-sayers around and about her, her gaze traversed the window. She saw another woman donning the hat of an “equal breadwinner” for her family and making her stride into the world. She thought “I wish I was in her shoes” 

Marching ahead towards her awaiting deadlines and agendas as her heart was crushing hard under the gloom she was carrying. “Not a mother yet” pricked through her heart. She rolled down the windowpane as she saw a kid jumping in muddy puddles with glee as the mother looked on with joy. She thought “I wish I was in her shoes”.

The happiness of the kid was short-lived as his father reprimanded him for being a mess. As the kid was being dictated by commandments of DOs & DON’Ts that sad face rolled to the other side and saw a rich man surrounded by a brigade of servants and only his say mattered. The kid thought “I wish I was in his shoes”.

The rich man as he awaited for his vehicle to arrive saw a young man riding a bike with his guitar hung across his back. It reminded him of his lost love in the depths of oblivion while he chased new heights tirelessly. The rich man thought “I wish I was in his shoes”.

The young man whose struggles have just begun in the pursuit of his passion pondering over his future probabilities and possibilities felt the heat of venturing out in the tricky, tough and often merciless stage called the world. He stopped by a house to ask for a glass of water. A lady came out with her baby in her arms and it reminded the young man of what a safe haven home is. Looking at the baby, the young man thought “I wish I was in his shoes”.

And the baby in the arms of the mother who was sleeping blissfully smiled in his sleep…

This is a simplistic view of how we perceive and look at the world. Deep down in our hearts, we are convinced that others are happier than us. Our eyes are open to looking at the merrier view and our shallow wisdom restricts our capability to even conceive the thought that every story has a different background and narration. It is like a beautiful cover page of a magazine that attracts our attention, mesmerized by the gloss and the colour we instantly forget that it’s a collaborative effort of many technicians and technicalities. About the physical, emotional, mental stress people might undergo in the process is not even a distant thought in our thoughts, for we are takers of only happy faces. And not to mention that our obsession with those pretty faces is so much that we start to loathe our reality – a harbinger for unhappiness, think about it.

A PIGEON’S MISCARRIAGE

On opening the door to my residential quarters after a month long absence, I was greeted with a bearably faint musty odour, a thin film of dust on all surfaces, a few cobwebs here and there – signs of briefly uninhabited premises! As I flung open the connecting doors and windows to let the chilly winter breeze do a few oscillations and ventilate the house, I was glad that there wasn’t really much cleaning up to do after all. This relief was about to last for just a few seconds!

No sooner had I opened the door to my bathroom, that I took a step back at what I saw. A pigeon’s nest had fallen from an open vent above right on the toilet seat!!

Well, there was work after all!

As I picked up the twigs, small branches and dried leaves, I looked up sensing a brief movement. Lo and behold! Mama pigeon was cozily sitting on her eggs, having built a brand new nest.

It took some time for me to clean up the mess during which the nesting perseverance of the pigeons was something I pondered upon.

As I resumed official work the next day to be greeted with heaps of pending files, Mama pigeon and the nest was the last thing on my mind!

It wasn’t meant to be that way for long, though.

I returned home after the day’s work only to find the new nest broken (and yes, fallen on the toilet seat, to my great displeasure). Having no other way out, as I started clearing up the clutter, I found a broken egg amidst the dried leaves and twigs.

Who knows what instincts would have crisscrossed Mama pigeon’s mind, having had two broken nests and one broken egg. Will she build her nest again? Will she give up? Will she be able to have any squabs this season? Ah well! That’s the pigeon’s life!

This drove me to think about the countless women worldwide who miscarry their unborns. For every baby that is born there are many fetuses that get miscarried and many still-borns who remain as bars on the tally charts leaving many women to gulp their crucibles of sorrow silently. How many of them get cared for by their partners, family and friends before they heal up – physically and emotionally?

The Mama pigeon’s miscarriage might have stirred up her instincts with probably none of her kiln having an inkling to it. We humans can surely do much better!

THE TRUTH OF GAINING KNOWLEDGE

Do you want to earn $200,000, just by signing a contract? All you need to do is fill in a form, share your photograph, and a 100 minutes voice recording.

YES, YOU READ IT RIGHT!

This week among so many news, one shocking news I heard that literally seized my attention – “Now Robots can also work, behave, move, talk, look, and even reproduce babies like humans”.

When the entire world was on halt, we were locked up within our four walls, some of the brightest minds of the present time have developed human robots known as XENOBOTS. They have been created from biological tissues. They are living robots that can move, heal, and reproduce on their own. They were created by assembling stem cells from embryos into synthetic life forms. With the help of supercomputers, 3D blocks and algorithms were developed and then was injected into life. The life that is taken from African clawed frogs and finally it evolves into a child Xenobot. Now, all they need is to give them as many human faces and voices through the voice modulation process. Probably, in the very near future, there will be one man enjoying the Netflix series at home and his Xenobot fighting the nuclear war somewhere 1000 miles away.

It might sound like an exaggeration or some Hollywood story but sadly, THIS IS A TRUTH. Undoubtedly, at the first watch, this news wowed me but it also triggered some basic questions in my mind –

  • WHAT IS THE INTENTION OF CREATING XENOBOTS?
  • WHO CAN GUARENTEE THAT IT WILL NOT BE USED FOR DEADLY PURPOSE?
  • WHY ON EARTH DO WE NEED SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE?

Interestingly, when the scientists were questioned about the intention of creating Xenobot their answers weren’t sufficient rather it provoked some more questions like, WHO ARE FUNDING THIS PROJECT? And for your information, one of the most elite technological military innovation agencies has partially funded this project.

Intention precedes Action. Human desires for knowledge are always intended to accumulate affluence. Because the common idea is the more powerful you are the more secure you are WHEREAS the reality contradicts entirely. Power needs more power to secure it. (Probably, that’s why the affluent ride behind bulletproof glass doors). The higher altitude of power you live, the higher risk of threat exists for you.

Human pant for affluence becomes so forceful that often man exceeds every limit. And the ground of compromising with ethical & moral principles becomes the bridge for the gap between desiring power and consuming power.

In the entire explanation, alongside the pride of affluence, fear, peace lessness, pain, insecurity, loneliness, etc are constants in the life of an affluent. Once my dear brother Chiradeep quoted me, “There’s always a sense of insecurity of losing the top spot even for affluent man on earth”.

The entire reasoning reminds me of the Bible verse written by wise King Solomon, “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

P.C: CBS NEWS

BE READY… IT’S GONNA CHANGE

The world keeps changing in fact they say Change is the only thing that is constant.

Knowing that fully well I still resent change.  

I still pick up the baby or kindergarten photos of my kids and exclaim… They were so cute as babies. Why did they grow up? Did I really enjoy their childhood or was I just busy with the mom chores and waiting for them to grow up and be independent?

When my parents-in-law come to stay with me I am a bit rattled for a few days. I resent the change in my routine. Mind you I share a very cordial relationship with them. But just that it takes me a few days to get adjusted to them staying with us. And vice versa when they leave. Again takes me a couple of days to get my mojo back. Do I call it inertia?

I was too angry and distraught when my husband changed his status from being a salaried person to being a businessman. I couldn’t come to terms with the many ways my life got affected. So much changed. Again it’s not that I was blissful in his salaried status we had our share of problems and it was a well-thought-out decision but still, I resent the change.

I have been looking back at the past with nostalgia-tinted lenses and remember only the good part. Not the part where I was longing for a change in my life because I felt trapped in a rut.

Ha Ha I know it’s a classic case of damned if I do damned if I don’t.

So my life lesson for today is, enjoy your present and live it to the fullest. And don’t resist change. Because change will happen whether we like it or not whether we are ready for it or not. I am ready to embrace the change and hopefully, I am better equipped for the lemons life is going to throw at me.

SOME CHANGES ARE TENDER YET INEVITABLE

I experience comfort when,
I yearn for the place of my own,
I feel the warm,
of being grabbed in my mother’s arm.

The place where memories are established,
and dreams are never defeated,
The place where each other connects through a chain,
with love, care and affection.

The feeling of home is a blessing,
where an unconditional blanket of love acts as surrounding,
The feeling of home is like returning back to comfort zone,
when the world seems to be alone.

Staying away from my parents in a distant land,
I am unable to hold their hands,
No matter how much my heart aches in staying apart,
I”ll always embrace you in my heart.

GUESS WHO ELSE NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION

Crossing the realms of love and sacrifices that keep relationships alive and working, there is a highly guarded zone that we are not privy to – “Sometimes I am Unhappy”. Unhappiness crops from the fact that we are mentally not prepared to delegate or chuck down the pressures off our shoulders to prepare and keep them strong for responsibilities. Over the years our brains have been fed with extremely wrong notions about how roles (as in relationships) should be carried out. And what rules the roost among such manipulated picklists is Sacrifice which more concisely mean “Stop caring for yourself”, “Never Complain”, “Speaking up, out & against strictly prohibited” and at the end of the day frown and fall asleep with resentment.

Over the years of observation and study, I have realized we often misuse the word “Sacrifice” in our lives. An instance: I sacrificed my last slice of pizza for the sake of my son and spent the whole night navigating through the Pizzahut brochure and drooling over the colorful images and not to mention that I mentioned my bravado act to my husband zillion times. Does my act count as Sacrifice? My understanding says No because sacrifice demands both detachment and satisfaction as a result. And in this case, both were missing. And this is how dissatisfied lives look like under the camouflage of sacrifice.

Am I suggesting selfishness? Please hold your horses  We have this bad habit of polarising everything (if you have an interest in Indian politics you will understand this better  ) There is always a midground for addressing the issues concerning our lives. If you are purchasing an unaffordable ticket to a Rockband concert that you love giving your child’s term fees a miss or ignoring your next month’s home loan EMI, that’s Selfish (you can add idiotic too).

But instead of involving in such compulsive, impulsive, stupid acts you have arranged a karaoke night at your place with your friends and family or had a good cards game night. Now you are in a happy space even if you have given up on something you like and definitely sans rant “Maine kya kya nahi kiya iss ghar ke liye par uff nahi kiya” (there’s nothing that I haven’t done for this house and never complained), ironically in a complaining tone. This is the realization that I am suggesting as this is the change I have discovered that I should go for – Stop Complaining, Start Living, and Loving. First things first we should stop tagging words like “sacrifice” at the drop of a hat; That word got a deeper connotation to it. These are the little adjustments we are making with many financial, situational, emotional constraints and forces in work. We in relationships mean us shouldering the responsibilities prioritizing others ahead of us, be it our kids, parents or partners, and so on. And in our exercise of keeping things afloat day in and day out we are somehow ignoring someone really important calling us from within, it’s our innate self only, demanding some moments of happiness and relaxation. And there’s nothing to feel guilty about it. If you can’t keep yourself happy you can’t do the same to your loved ones too. Let me give you a picture of the other side of my personality which I am unapologetic about – I am a very irritated person almost like a twilight beast as the Sunday evening approaches and if my kids don’t tuck into their beds by 8PM they see the worse in me. I simply hate when Sunday evenings when they prolong, for I am waiting for my Monday week off following Sunday, in absence of which I might go insane and not mention the heavy toll on my physical health. And my rude behavior that might come across as unruly, unexpected, and unacceptable on every account is simply an indication that I need my space to rejuvenate myself to carry off my responsibilities as a mother and a wife. If they need me, I need me too, isn’t it?

My call to you all – You have to be present there in good health – mentally, physically and emotionally because cardboard cut outs can’t give warmth to your loved ones. And yes they are not superhumans to know how you feel unless you express. If sensitivity is alive well and good, if god forbid not then don’t be guilty for you are not a magical wand either!!!