IF I DON’T, THEN WHO WILL?

In this world that is constantly trying to make us believe in all the wrong, it’s very difficult to put our head up high and do what we actually feel is right.

But, if I am just following what everyone else is doing even though they are doing something wrong, then probably I am just a faceless body amongst these masses.

Every other person wants to feel accepted or is trying to fit-in either in their college, office or any other social gathering and I’m also one among them. But as a person, I will not compromise on my values and ethics just to appease somebody or for the fear of being left out. What is the point of being in a democracy and being privileged enough to have umpteen rights to express myself freely when all I  do is be a sheep in the mob?

There’s one particular incident that I’d like to share, where a worker at our place had decided to get her daughter married right after her 12th. She wanted to study more and he was unwilling to do so. I stood by her and explained the worker that he should let her study. He wasn’t ready to listen. I had to literally threaten him saying I’ll approach the police if he doesn’t let her study. My parents also involved and supported me to help him understand this. Fortunately, he understood this though out of pressure but now his daughter is studying happily and fulfilling her dreams.

There was this other incident, it’s not something major but it’s important to get through these little situations too. So, during my undergraduate, there was a senior who was the head of our batch. There were some registrations going on in the college and there was a huge queue. My friend and I just cut through the line only to inquire about how long the process would take before we could utter anything, the head senior held my friend’s hand and pushed her away. That led to an injury on her hand. The teacher who was doing the registration had witnessed all of this but still did not choose to take any action and asked me to leave. I told her about the injury and how the senior ill-treated us, she ended the discussion by saying maybe it was because she is frustrated with work. It was not the first time that the senior had done something like this, she had indulged in a lot of unnecessary fights earlier too and as usual, they were ignored. If I wouldn’t do anything now, it would have continued forever. I approached the principal the very next day and made sure she realised her mistakes. I didn’t want her to be punished but she should at least realise her faults and not unnecessarily manhandle somebody.

It is not always easy to voice yourself and fight for what is right. There are situations when I doubt my own decisions when insecurities creep in and I become unsure of whether I am doing the right thing or not. In these moments, I think of the reasons I started fighting for it in the first place. At times I feel like everything might just fall apart and maybe I should stop doing what I am doing but I know if I don’t stand firmly by my own decision, no one will.

There’s this one quote I read somewhere that had hit me hard and gave me all the courage I hold today;

“Stand up to hypocrisy. If you don’t, the hypocrites will teach. Stand up to ignorance, because if you don’t, the ignorant will run free to spread ignorance like a disease. Stand up for truth. If you don’t, then there is no truth to your existence. If you don’t stand up for all that is right, then understand that you are part of the reason why there is so much wrong in the world.”

If you don’t, then who will?

I AM IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Vidhi

We are never completely aware of who we are but answering questions like these definitely help us think about ourselves and get to know ourself a little more.

Preeta’s Questionnaire:

1. Do you have any phobia? If yes, how do you handle it?

I don’t know if this is considered to be a phobia, but I’m scared that some nights when I’m all alone, I might just sit and overthink everything around, overthink to such an extent that I ruin my mental peace even when everything around is fine.

On such days, I just want my mind to be stable and for this, I either go on a walk with headphones on or call up a friend.

 

2. Your​ two best friends had a feud. You know the other one is wrong, but she is emotionally weak. How will you tell her?

I’d rather see my friend cry and yell than let her do something wrong. I’ll tell her the truth and make her realise her mistakes. Then sit beside her, get her an ice-cream or whatever she likes and do everything possible to cheer her up.

I’m not saying something to her to demean her, and I know it’s going to hurt her at that moment but I’m going to stand beside her and until she grows stronger out of it.

 

3. What is your definition of a perfect weekend?

I’d either love to make a random plan and go out and do something adventurous like trekking, rappelling etc. or probably just get a warm cup of tea and snuggle in my bed.

 

4. Who has/have influenced you in your life?

That person who loved me irrespective of however rude or arrogant I was to her sometimes. That person who believed in my dreams more than me. That person who stood by me through every thick and thin. My mother is my strongest pillar of support.

 

5. Which will you prefer: Easy-quick-money or hard earned money?

I don’t know how this works. All I know is I want to do a job that I am satisfied with and I can support my family.

 

6. Life is now, don’t wait for the future. Do you live it this way?

Honestly, that’s not possible every time but yes, I definitely try and make most of my day and do not give a second thought about doing things that make me happy.

 

7. Physical appearance is temporary, the looks you have today won’t be there tomorrow. Knowing this, do you wish to change any one thing about your physical attributes? Why?

Sometimes I do feel a little low about not looking as pretty as someone else which eventually leads to a lack of confidence in me. Yes, physical appearance is temporary and everything is going to fade away someday but it’s also okay to work on yourself if that makes ‘you’ happy and for someone else. I want to gain a little weight because I’m way too skinny.

 

8. What would be the first thing you would do if you fear Doomsday is just around the corner?

I think I’d just sit and laugh. Laugh around people I love and make them laugh. Spend all my time with them and make sure they are happy in that very moment. I think seeing your loved ones happy is the most satisfying scene.

 

9. What the craziest thing you want to do?

Well, I want to build a treehouse. Get old with my partner and settle in there until we both take our last breath. I wish I could make this possible, I wish we could all get back to the stone age and live in the woods. Without any judgements or stereotypes.

 

10. Which quality of yourself​ do you think can make you sail through in any situation?

The spark that keeps this fire of life alive in me. Whatever your age is, if you haven’t been through tough times and you do not have anything to look back to in your 60s then you haven’t grown at all. Positivity is the key to handling any situation. Nobody is going to have a happy day every day. It’s the ups and downs of the life that make it adventurous and worth living for. Otherwise, life would just be a monotonous daily routine.

Thank you Preeta for some intense questions and also thank you Chiradeep sir for hosting a self-exploration session. It definitely made me think of what exactly I’d be doing in various situations and also helped me dig deeper into my own self.

THE STRANGER

Sometimes, you develop an inexplicable relationship with strangers. A kind of connection that only the two of you can interpret.

I was in 5th grade, when we shifted to a new home. Almost a week had passed; being a socially awkward kid, I had not made any friends yet. It was a summer evening, and the walls of this house were becoming eerie to watch anymore. I stepped out in the parking area jiggling a ball, trying to kill time that was torturing me already. I sat by the plants, humming some romantic song in a ballistic tone. That’s how frustrated I was. Suddenly, I noticed a man who’d been staring at me and smiling all this while, I hushed hurriedly, ran back into my home as though some dog was running after me and locked the door. Peeped through the window, to see if he had left. He had gone by then, I took sigh of relief, though I was embarrassed that he heard me.

A few days passed, I almost forgot that man, until I saw him walking at a far distance. He recognised me too, waved his hand and smiled the brightest. That innocence and charm on a 60 year old wrinkled face had for some reason made me smile back and wave with the same excitement. I rushed in again before he could come any closer, anxiety has always been an issue. After that day, there was some kind of bond formed between us. He used to come for a walk every evening and I used to eagerly wait to wave at him and take back one of the most charming smiles. We hadn’t spoken a word, yet there was some kind of a familiarity we sensed in each other.

My grandfather had passed away before I was born. I always imagined what it would be like to have a grandpa. Most of my friends shared a healthy relationship with their grandparents, something I always envied. I wanted to experience what it felt like, would he protect me from my mother’s angst? Would he be my partner in crime to annoy my little brother? Would he tell me stories of his time? A million questions with no-one to answer.

I almost assumed this nameless wave-friend as my grandpa. However tragic or tiring the day would be that one wave implanted a sense of satisfaction within. A feeling that, this man is praying for my well being and no matter what he’ll be there to teach me how to give the widest smile in the hardest moments.

Months had passed but this wave ritual did not end. One day, this man, called me closer and asked my name, as soon as I uttered my name, he placed his hand my head and said ‘ May you succeed in life and receive all the happiness you deserve’. I smiled and touched his feet. He continued with his evening walk. Next day, I stood again at the door, waiting to talk a little more but he didn’t come that day. He never came after that. I was yearning for his return, I stood at the door for weeks . Suddenly, he was gone. I had lost my grandpa yet again. I don’t know where he had gone, if he existed anymore or not. I missed him . I hope he is fine wherever he is. I hope I get to see him again.

Quote of the day

STOP LOOKING FOR A HOME IN SOMEONE ELSE, MAYBE, A BOULEVARD OF WONDERLANDS EXIST WITHIN.

Quote of the day

Standing in front of the window of life, she jumped fearlessly… She could fall, She could fly But she’ll be satisfied she tried…