REGRETS HAVE NO VALUE – VIII

Nina woke up and grabbed her mobile phone. She was in Bangalore- the city where her love of life lived. “Just a glimpse”, she said to herself.  She just wanted to see him once. She opened the Facebook app on her phone and searched for ‘Ankit Kumar’. She scrolled through all the Ankit Kumars, she scrolled down and down, he wasn’t there. 

She typed in ‘Ankit Kumar’, location ‘Kolkata’, still her Ankit wasn’t reflecting in the list. Frantically, she typed in the name of the organisation where they worked together. Yes! He was there. She quickly clicked on his profile. He was just the same. She was smiling at his profile picture, but something else caught her attention- “married to Nisha Sharma”.

Nina couldn’t believe her eyes. She wanted to check again, she was swiping her fingers on her phone screen. There were  many pictures of Ankit and Nisha, but she was confirmed after seeing them together in the attire of groom & bride. Nina had lost Ankit’s love forever. There was nothing left.

Nina broke down, wailing like a little baby. She was full of regret. If only she could have talked her worries to him… if only she could have shared her views on marriage with him… if only she could have agreed to her sister Diana… if only…

(Image Source: Google Inc.)

“Nina massi, Nina massi”, Kiara barged into the room crying. “Massi, Mom is crying over the phone, something has happened to Nani”, she yelled. “Wa…watt?” Demanded Nina and rushed outside.

She quickly snatched the car keys from Diana and instructed her to guide the way.

“But di…”, Diana tried to stop her.

“I can’t lose her”, Nina said and got into the driver seat. Diana hugged her daughters and sat inside the car with them.

“Mom was having difficulty in breathing lately, but it got worse in the morning and she’s being admitted to the ICU now.” Diana told Nina on the way, crying. 

Nina was trying to stay calm but tears were rolling down her cheeks. She was driving as fast as she could but she felt that the traffic had come to a standstill.

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LET DESPERATION INSPIRE YOU, NOT RUIN YOU

Born and brought up in a lower middle class family, Sahil was always desperate to become a rich man. Though he never used unfair means in his life, he envied people travelling in luxurious cars and wearing plush brands. All he wanted was money, a lot of money. With his hard work and effort, he got a decent job in an MNC. His parents asked him to get married, but he refused, saying his earning was too less. His endeavour awarded him a job abroad. Scared of the outside world and their old age, his poor parents didn’t want him to leave. “Let me just earn good bucks, then I will take you to places in my Lamborghini”, he said. His innocent parents couldn’t even pronounce the word LAMBORGHINI properly, but gave their blessings for his new venture.

Years passed, the old eyes kept waiting for their son, but Sahil wanted to earn more. “Just 2 more years papa, and I will be able to buy that car”, Sahil said over one of the phone calls to his father. By the time he returned back to his home, his father had got a massive stroke and his body was paralysed. He got him treated in the one of the best hospitals, but the damage could not be reverted. “He wanted to dance at your wedding,” Sahil’s mom wailed.

With the latest I-phone in hand and suited in Armani, Sahil brought his parents back from the hospital in his Lamborghini. But, throughout the way, he kept on thinking about what his desperation had cost him.

A couple of days back, I read an amazing article on Sindhutai Sapkal, who’s India’s mother of orphans. Her ordeal started when she was just 10, forcefully married to a 20 year old man. She was thrown out of the house when she was 9 months pregnant, at 19, and delivered in a cow shed. Instead of sanitized medical scissors, she had to cut the umbilical cord with a rock lying there. Too weak and hungry, Sindhutai was desperately in search for food. She took shelter in a crematorium, and took the flour offered to the dead bodies, kneaded it and baked a chapatti over the fire of the burning dead body. She later found that she wasn’t alone on the streets. So, she started begging and procuring food for the orphans and became a mother for them. She has adopted more than 1200 orphans and has opened orphanage homes as well. Sindhutai could have ended up her life in desperation that day, but she got inspired to help others survive as well.

“Don’t allow your thoughts of frustration allow you to make decisions out of desperations.”- DeWayne Owens

LET IT GO

It’s time to see what I can do

To test the limits and breakthrough

Let it go, let it go…

2017 was a roller-coaster for me- so many ups & downs, new ventures, new friends, taking some harsh decisions, sulking sometimes in difficult situations and sometimes crying with joy. But, the ride did come to an end and the uncertainties of life brought a new dawn of hope.

The biggest lesson that the last year taught me is that life is too short. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. So, treasure the people around you who care for you and love you unconditionally. Live every moment, for you might not be there to witness the next moment.

Life is difficult, sometimes too harsh that one may want to just run away, rather than facing the ordeal. The qualms of life make you think- ‘Why Me’ and you just want to go inside your shell, don’t want to interact with anyone and just pray that life comes to an end. But, life is uglier and crueler than what you believe. It will keep taking your assessments every now and then until you stop giving up. Yes, the day you stop giving up, life will change for you. It will become beautiful and worthy.

It is said, “The one who suffers only he knows the meaning of suffering.” It is easy to just pen down some good thoughts and talk about being positive. God has been kind enough on me for He has given me so much and almost a perfect life that one can dream of. But, trust me, I was also sulking and complaining till the day I chose to be happy in the situation I am.

Being crabby over life’s atrocities is easier than to face them. No one else is responsible for your own happiness, except you. And the day you realise this, life will completely transform in front of you.

It’s time to see what I can do

To test the limits and breakthrough

Let it go, let it go…

These lines from Disney’s frozen song really motivate me. True, when you can’t hold, just let it go and move on. But, don’t forget to cherish the good things that life gave you in the past.

MOM – VI

Sapna couldn’t sleep the whole night. She kept on thinking the worst thing that could happen to her. She didn’t care about her own life but dreaded parting with her soul – her daughter. She was confident of her offer, but was skeptical if Mrs. Parmar would agree. “What if she gets angry at the thought of it? What if she comes with goons and takes away my child in front of my eyes?” Numerous thoughts were racing in her mind. Just then, the doorbell rang. Hurriedly, she opened the door.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Said the voice, that was familiar.

“Oh! It’s that time of the year again! Please come inside my Santa”, Sapna said.

It was Palash Dada, one of the caretakers of the orphanage where Sapna used to live. He visited Sapna every year on Christmas and was aware of her ordeal and the worst things that she had faced at a tender age. Naina waited for him every year, because he brought cakes and goodies for her, like a real Santa. But, this time, both mom and daughter had completely forgotten about Christmas due to Naina’s illness.

“What’s wrong with you? You don’t look ok”, demanded Palash Dada.

“Ya, I couldn’t sleep last night”, she told everything about Naina’s hospital days and Mrs. Parmar to her Santa.

Just then Naina came out running, ” Santa is here!”, she exclaimed. She hugged her Santa and he handed a bag of goodies to her.

“I wish I could help you out, but trust me, God is watching and so is your husband. You will get all the happiness in your life.” Palash Dada said to Sapna as they both watched Naina exploring the colours and candies that she just got.

“Ah! God! I don’t know who’s​ He. If He’s there, I am the last one on his Make Them Happy List.”  Sapna snapped.

“Trust me, God will bring back your happiness.” Palash Dada said, as he bid adieu to her.

Just after he left, Sapna’s phone rang. It was Mrs Parmar.

“Yes ma’am, what did you decide to do – kidnap or take the offer?” Sapna asked.

“I am yet to hear the offer Sapna”, Mrs. Palmer said.

Sapna took a deep breath and said, ,”I will just put this straight ma’am. I am offering to be a surrogate mother. I can’t give you my daughter, but I can give you my womb. It will be your family blood. You can help me get settled in any different city, so that no one comes to know about it. I will start a new life with my daughter and you forget us after that…Uh ..mm..Mrs. Palmer, hello…ma’am, are you there?”

“Oh yes!”, Mrs. Palmer​ spoke. She was lost in thoughts. Clueless and confused, she said,” I will get back to you later.” She disconnected the phone. She never expected Sapna to say a thing like this.

Two women, two mothers were engrossed in deep thoughts. Each thinking about her child whom she loved the most in the world. One decision was going to change their lives.

OVERCOME YOUR FEAR – JUST FACE IT

“Hey! You missed the U-turn!” Startled, I told Anuj. It was one of those pleasure bike rides which Anuj and I used to take whenever we had loads to talk about or on the days when there was simply nothing to chat about. We used to head towards the Rajpur Road in Dehradun and take a u-turn when the road diverged. The straight road headed to Mussoorie , a hill station and so was a hilly terrain.  Anuj knew I was scared of the zig-zag bends and that too on a bike was just off limits for me.

But today, Anuj was heading straight and it seemed my voice was falling on deaf ears. “Since you are afraid of hilly terrain on bike, I am going to remove that fear in you today”, he said finally. I sat, stunned and thought it’s going to be the last day of my life! My heart would sink on every blind turn that we took. We had crossed the halfway to the hill station and I thought this mad guy is going to take me to Mussoorie. But, to be honest, I gradually had started enjoying this adventurous ride. The cool breeze and the picturesque view faded away my fears. When I told him that I am not afraid anymore, he stopped the bike to return back.

Years later, when we came together in the wedlock, we had to take a flight. Yes, that was my another  fear- fear of flying! I dreaded vomiting and nausea feeling. But, even during the turbulent weather, I was perfectly fine (though I didn’t leave Anuj’s hand and kept chanting my prayer)!

One thing that my life partner has taught me is to overcome a fear by facing it.  You are afraid of your fear because you don’t know what it is like. The moment you experience it, you overcome it.

You will laugh if I tell you that I was afraid of getting pregnant because of vomiting throughout and the labor pains at the time of delivery. Yet, I managed to overcome these fears and had 2 normal deliveries!

There’s a brilliant bollywood movie- Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara which inspires you to overcome your fears by dealing with them. It tells us that we have, but one life, so don’t be afraid, just let it go…

TELL TODAY THAT YOU LOVE THEM, BEFORE THEY ARE GONE

We were all set to celebrate the 50th marriage anniversary of my Buaji and Fufaji (paternal aunt and uncle). It was going to be a great event with most of the family members getting together for the big celebration. Dresses and gifts were decided and I was making a photo album for the “Golden Couple”. Creating a customised gift takes time and when the network or website issues come, then the effort grows manifold. It was late night when I was having trouble in putting up a picture on a page. I gave up finally and went to bed, thinking to start afresh the next day.

It was in the morning when my mom called me up. I thought the call must be regarding the golden celebrations only, because that’s what we have been doing lately, planning what to wear and what to gift. When I answered the call, my mom was freakishly crying and told me Fufaji is no more.  I couldn’t believe my ears and asked her twice. My Fufaji, who was a retired Major General passed away the night before, just around the time I was preparing the​ photo album. As everyone else, I was shocked. I just couldn’t believe that it was possible. I thought instead of making the photo album, I could have called him up a day before to tell that  he was special and I loved him. But, it was too late.

Death is the bitter truth of life. I wanted to talk to Buaji. I usually feel shy in calling up the relatives of the deceased, don’t know how to console. But I don’t know where the courage came and I called up my Buaji instantly, as I wanted to tell her that we all love her and are there with her.

We didn’t want to leave Buaji alone on the day of her 50th marriage anniversary, so it was decided that we all will get together on that day and have an evening of singing prayers, remembering the departed soul.

It was a gloomy day. We all shared our feelings and recalled our memories with Fufaji. The lady who was called for the bhajans asked us to feel the changes that are there in the house and in our lives within him. Almost everyone was shedding tears on remembering this. And we all stopped crying the moment she said this- “How will the departed soul feel if you cry for him? He is not here with us physically, but feel his presence. He wants you to stay happy.”

My grandparents passed away when I was young, not able to understand deeply the pain that comes when anyone leaves you.  

The first death that I saw was after my marriage. My husband’s Naniji (grandmother) was not keeping well and had become too fragile. We knew she would go soon, but I wasn’t prepared that she will go like this. I was sitting beside her, when all of a sudden I heard her sound that as weird. I was alone with my younger sister- in-laws at home that time.

“Naniji, are you ok?”

No answer.

“Naniji, you want water?”

No answer.

I took her head in my lap, kept rubbing her head, chest and hands.

“Naniji, say something​!” I was shouting and crying simultaneously.

I could sense something was wrong, but I didn’t want to accept that easily. I kept her head in my lap till my in-laws came and told that she has gone. I felt helpless. I only thought if I could have spent more time with her.

“Death is not the opposite of life, it is a part of it”, everyone has to face this harsh reality.

Life is short and uncertain. Don’t wait for big moments or occasions. Tell your beloved ones, your near and dear ones, that you care for them, you need them and love them.

“Cherish those in your life because you don’t know when they won’t be there anymore.”

SELFIE IS NOT REALLY A CINCH

* 8 year-old-kid accidentally shoots himself a selfie with a gun in Ghaziabad.

* A Chinese businessman tried taking a selfie with a walrus but was dragged into the pool and drowned to death by the massive- toothed creature.

* Two Russian soldiers were posing for a selfie with a live grenade that detonated unexpectedly. Only the phone with the photo survived.

* A 66-year-old Japanese tourist lost his balance and fell backwards to his death down the steps of the Taj Mahal while taking a selfie at the Royal Gate.

*Taking a selfie with friends atop a train turned lethal for a class 10th student who came in contact with an overhead electric wire and was thrown off the train.

We have come across many such ghastly cases where taking a selfie went wrong and where the fun turned fatal.

Selfie is the latest fad which has made the masses crazy selfies indeed have proved a boon for us, especially for those who love getting clicked.

No doubt clicking photos have become a cinch. We don’t need to depend on anyone anymore for photos.

Not only that selfies, can be a great stress buster. Yes! Studies have shown that clicking selfie photos have a positive effect, making people feel connected, elevate confidence, thus helping to reduce stress.

In the words of Billy Cox, “Technology should improve your life, not become your life”.

Similarly selfies should be taken safely. You are not going to win an award for clicking a selfie in the zoo, are on top of a cliff, or at the seashore. Use technology wisely. It’s good to smile at the phone, but it’s more important to be cautious while you do that.

Stay happy, stay alert!

Happy Selfie’ing’!