PACING FOR SPACE

as growing up
I was surprised
and taken back
when
dad asked me
to sleep separately
he said something
something called space
which
I am yet to understand

years passed
and
I had a baby brother
after nine long years
some more years
I entered teenage
mom and dad
were after me
poking into my privacy
checking on me
when I dressed up
overhearing me
when I called my friends
Oh ! is this called space
that I need badly

I became a maiden
and my brother
an adolescent teen
I understood space
by now
very professionally

I was married to someone
who I never met
love is in the air
and
so did I experience
I hated anyone
who invaded our space
we planned our first child
few years after we
cherished the marital bliss
fate had some plans
I gave birth
after a year
to enter
the world of
motherhood
at workplace and family
I forgot about the space
until one day
when I gazed myself
in the mirror

What a mess
have I made to myself
my hair was sticky
with few strands of silver
eyes swollen
with dark circles
and cracked lips
although
I was happy
that our family was complete
I was sad
to see me incomplete
with
dashes and comma

I checked
on my better half
he looked cherub
and happy
as a lark
juggling between
family and work
I lost my space
space where I enjoyed
being just me

love is strange
while it brings us close
it pushes us further away
balancing togetherness
and space
is not an easy task
but
it’s worth a try
the fairytale
does not end
with the words
happily ever after
the real life begins
where the tale ends

at some point
too much of anything
is stressful in life
like a lip-locked kiss
that has to come up for air
love and relationships
need space to grow

have the right space
that does not
stagnate your individuality
let there be some space
to keep the
excitement alive

sync for space
sink not too much with space
let there not be space
physically
breathe for the air
emotionally!

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ALLOWING SPACES – TALK ABOUT IT

Recently I was talking to one of my friends and she mentioned why she stopped going to a certain hair salon. They hired a new hair stylist who wouldn’t stop talking and would continue marketing their xyz brand of shampoo or conditioner or some new hair treatment. She said – I need my space when I go to pamper myself in salon. I don’t like to talk. It made me realize that the space is not just needed in the relationships but also with strangers.

In an attempt to contribute our bit to help the problem of Bangalore traffic, many of us opted for Car Pooling to and from work. It helps immensely in numerous ways. There is an app which helps organize the rides for the passengers and the riders. It is a win-win for all. But still I took about a year to come to a decision to actually use it. Why? Why did I want to go in over-crowded buses which take double the time to cover the same distance? Because I feared that I wouldn’t get my space if I share the rides. I would have to talk to people and it would look rude to just sleep or read or work. However, that wasn’t the case – I realized once I started using this option.

I convinced one of my colleagues to start sharing his car with others. He would travel 20 kms daily all alone in the car. What a waste of space! I would often tell him that. He gave in and started to use the car pool option. However, the next day he came back telling me that by the time he reached home – he had a bad headache and ended up fighting up with his wife. Why? Because there was a lady in his car who wouldn’t stop talking about all the over the world. She talked so much that he reached home with a headache and with no mood to listen to his wife. Well, it happens I said! And we had a good laugh at his expense. Again having enough space even with strangers is extremely important.

Once a year at our workplace the entire team goes to an out-station for a couple of days for some team-building and fun activities. This time we went to Pondicherry. It was an amazing trip. In fact, amazing is I think a less of a word. I noticed and it was obvious that people wanted to be comfortable with the people they shared their rooms with. It was just 2 nights but yes all of us need our space especially when we got this one chance to be away from home and responsibilities and be ourselves.

So, what is this concept of “Space”? It is not a physical area. It is virtual boundaries that we draw around ourselves. For some people these boundaries are too strict and for others these are quite flexible. For some of us these boundaries are very close to us only encompassing us and a little bit of other things and for others these boundaries are really vast that they wouldn’t want to share most of their personal stuff even with closest family members.

I have been on both sides of a conversation – one in which I am complaining “How much space do you really need?” and other in which I am complaining “I really need my space so please stay away”.

This might come as a surprise to most men. We women are usually perceived as nagging and irritating. It is usually believed that wives always want to keep a tab on their husbands and their activities. So obviously, it is also notion that wives suck away all time and energy from their men, so much that husbands have to lie to have some “me” time. But this notion is wrong. Women too need their space and “me” time. Maybe a little lesser than men but we need it or maybe even not.

My husband loves to travel alone and I used to get into arguments with him quite often. “Why can’t you take me also?” And he would say “next time, I promise”. And I would just nag away irritated and angry. Whenever I would complain about having a horrible time – he would suggest “Why don’t you go and travel?” and I would be like “With whom?” He would realize then that I do not like to travel alone. I would love to go out in a group or with him where I have somebody.

This is just one example of where we land into a conversation of having space.

I have a 3 year old son and as I can see he simply doesn’t have the concept of having his own space. Probably he is too young for that. He always wants somebody with him when he is sleeping or watching TV or playing or reading. I am eager to see at what age he develops this concept. And probably I would relieved also because then I would get my space as well with him.

Communicating about having our own boundaries or space is most challenging with our immediate family members. But all the happy families eventually learn to talk about it and appreciate each other’s need to be themselves in their own spaces. This journey isn’t easy. It just depends on how much trust and security is in relationships within the family. Every individual is unique in needing his/her space and also communicating about it. Always having a clear communication about the needs and respecting each other’s needs is all that is needed to allow the right amount of space in the relationships.

ON THE BANKS OF TEESTA

On a January winter morning,

The gossamer mist engulfs me.

It carries me away in the cold air,

Above the tiny ever-growing city buildings

And gently lowers me on the banks of Teesta, the mysterious green river.

I see footsteps on the white sands,

Once they were mine,

It’s been a long time since I walked on them.

The kids blow balloons and frolic around,

The silvery water gushes past the huge boulders,

My mother warns me not to go into the water,

I am a good boy and I listen to her.

I have always been cautious of the river,

Buses have fallen into it, people washed away never to be found-

Adrenaline pumped teenagers have been drowned by its strong currents

But I never blame Teesta.

We have to respect the power of nature.

I recollect how Teesta’s beauty captivated me,

The serpentine contour, the murky green surface,

The forested hills rising on either side of it,

Rocky hills, Strong hills, Old hills.

We jump from rock to rock carefully balancing ourselves,

My curly haired-crush moves deftly on the rocks.

I am rather tentative and worried that I will fall.

I am so in love with her.

We don’t have smart phones to take selfies,

We don’t need one as we are lost in nature.

I can smell the chicken-masala wafting through the air,

My feet can’t stop tapping to the rhythm of the song,

All of us hold hands together and we dance in unison,

Our faces, look happy, all smiles, at least for a day,

A day worth the wait,

Picnicking on the banks of Teesta.

The mist disperses as the sun comes out,

I am brought back to the present.

I retain the smiles and the joy,

The times have changed, and picnics are no more regular.

People throng the malls more than the serene riverside.

I stand on the bridge and look down at the green waters,

They flow where they have to as life goes on.

THERE’S A RICH BLUE CEILING FOR ALL

People are more likely to tell you that blue is their favorite color than any other shade. That makes it a safe choice. Seeing blue also brings thoughts of trustworthiness to mind; always a good thing. – Psychology Today

Blue is the most stable color. Women love seeing stable men. It is also calming and can help relax both you and your date’s nerves. – Science of People

Blue is the colour of the mind and is essentially soothing; it affects us mentally, rather than the physical reaction we have to red. Strong blues will stimulate clear thought and lighter, soft blues will calm the mind and aid concentration. Consequently it is serene and mentally calming. It is the colour of clear communication. Blue objects do not appear to be as close to us as red ones. Time and again in research, blue is the world’s favourite colour. – Colour Affects

One of the world’s favourite colours, blue is called the colour of the mind and is described as soothing, tranquil, serene and orderly. Blue is said to boost productivity and is therefore often used to paint office walls. To project an image of security, advertisement companies often use blue while marketing their products. – The Daily Star

I did a research on the effects of colour BLUE in the human psyche. And I was right about it. That is why whenever I look at the blue ceiling up there over my head, I feel a soothing sense of composure transcending into me and calming down the storms raised in my heart slowly. Its encompassing nature creates a sense of security in my heart and mind. Its unending horizon gives a sense of freedom and privilege. Its soft blue colour has such serenity that fills my heart and mind with peacefulness.

I have a fascination for the Blue Wide Sky. And whenever I get an opportunity I capture the beautiful sky as soon as possible without thinking twice. People around me usually make fun of me saying, “what you are capturing… you will get many more opportunities like this“. But they don’t understand that the beauty of sky for that particular moment is unique and might not be available for me later. 

Whenever I feel alone I look at the sky and instantly I get connected with it. The sky reminds me of God’s unlimited promises, His amazing compassion and His unfailing love. It fills my heart in gratitude and praises for Him who has been always faithful to me despite of my iniquities and follies. The sky also reminds me of His forgiveness as the serenity and width of it explains as such. The sky also reminds me of Him and His personality – He is so big, almighty, powerful and so amazingly beautiful. Only a beautiful God can create such beautiful and humongous sky.

I have few photographs that I had captured long back. You can enjoy the slideshow those as under:

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To conclude I would like to quote few scripture portions about the sky: 

God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening,
and there was morning—the second day.

He stretches out the north over empty space;
He hangs the earth on nothing.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Stay Blessed!

IN CONVERSATION WITH AN UNINVITED GUEST

The other day as I was about to enter the house my attention was caught by an uninvited guest at my doorstep.  His presence did startle and disturb me.

Me: “Excuse me! Who are you? What are you doing here at my doorstep? You are surely not invited by anyone.“

The uninvited guest with a wicked smile replied me: “Hi, I am Weed, Green Weed and always uninvited and unwanted but that never deterred me from making my presence felt. I am omnipresent 😂😂😂.“

His answer was not as straight as it seemed which I discovered later. And my questions continued…

Me: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? You know that you are unwanted and still so boisterous about your identity.  People tweak you, trample over you, throw you out and still you have no self-respect that you keep coming back. Why?“

Mr.Weed: “There’s a valid reason for my presence for the almighty never creates anyone without a purpose. When I put up in your garden/farms or at your doorstep, I instil a sense of fear in you – fear of weak walls of your beautiful abode, fear of brazen and unkempt garden making it sore to the eye, fear of an unhealthy crop.  Henceforth I rekindle your love and  draw your attention from time to time towards your materialistic possessions. So look at the larger picture Honey!  I am not as useless as you think, I have a purpose attached to my being….“

I was amused at his unabashed boasting about himself and that’s when he revealed some secrets about his parasite siblings residing in none other than “US – The Human Beings.” And he continued…

Mr. Weed:  “See, I can clearly sense that my presence is disturbing and I will be cursed and sprayed with venom which you dearly call ‘treatment’ and my story is put to ‘Rest In Peace’ 😁 but I have step brothers and sisters who prefer to live in disguise and their habitat is the human soul. I can tell you their nicknames, by chance if you happen to meet them – Greed, Lust, Ego, Anger, Pride. They are far more dangerous than me without letting the owner realise their presence unlike me. But nevertheless they never go unnoticed by others. They kill the ability to think and reason logically. They gobble up wisdom and prudence. They shrink the world around to a single point ‘ME’. They weaken the relationships, create a unsaillable rift between people often leaving the host lonely, despised, hated and destroyed. They won’t leave you humane anymore. Our scriptures, our history are evident, need I say more?“

Mr. Weed left me pondering on his lecture that he gave me while conversing with him. I realised, just the way we pay particular attention to weeding out process from our garden and building walls so as to keep them healthy and strong we must pay equal attention to weeding out of negatives from our characters. Though we all have variable traces of negative aspects, if left untreated and unattended they will (No question of probabilities but confirming surely) poison our soul beyond repair.

Friends, just give it a thought.

NATURE AT ITS BEST

As the darkness surrenders, the sun rises as a canopy of gold
Bluebirds snuggle into their hay nest
Clouds rolled in like wispy curls of hair hints me the approaching weather
Dew brings brightness upon the new day’s grass
Eager for the day, nocturnal owls return to their dwell
Forest which was playing one symphony after another now chills me
Green everywhere, full of promises and hope
Hills that lie friendly in the day are darkly ominous by dusk
Illuminating the sky firefly sliced through the dark atmosphere
Jubilant I am viewing the evening sky
Kissed by spring shades of green clothed the naked tree
Levitating to the heavens, the night was like being hailed by the angels
Mother’s of the nocturnal world lead their offspring
Nature rests her rainbow palette
Omnipresence is twofold, by nature and by grace
Poetry of the earth is never dead
Quietly the first drop falls quenching the soil and life
Rustling leaves talk
Sacred earth caught everything in her spell
Twilight wraps the vibrant greens
Untamed lightning frantic to escape the dark grey clouds
Vibrating the sky thunder seemed to crack the air
Whipping wind roared like a chaotic dance
Xenon and oxygen react and scream
Yet forest beauties enjoy their peaceful sleep
Zzzz- Nature – the Elixir of Life

a profound and a wise teacher
nature has many
beautiful things to teach
however dark and eerie the night
there is always a brightness to engulf the past
like a sky without a
star and moon
is unfinished
nature has taught
a life without
someone is incomplete
the majestic mountains
discover
impossible is nothing
green reminds
to fall in love with thee
while
seasons indirectly
unfold the mystery
a profound and a wise teacher…
nature has many
beautiful things to teach…

FB CAPTION COMPETITION – 4

This time entries were very less as the picture was bit difficult to interpret. But those of you who have interpreted it were excellent. You all impressed me so much.

Let’s see the entries:

Sanskriti Khound: Let me be lit like those humans on social media

Kuljeet Saini: Together let’s light up the world.

Preeta Bhatnagar: Sometimes I need to stop myself from working too much!

Kalpana K Vogeti: Plugin and switch on your “Wit” mode and see how otherwise gloomy room lights up.

Nerella Sima Das: Limited light in Bondage.

Drew McLeod: Release me from this prison of useless ideas! 💡 💡

Amiya Kumar: Let me lit the light of wisdom to dispel the darkness of ignorance.

Isaac Mohanty: Let the light be seen by every body not to be confined. 

Subha Smita: Let my courage be my own inspiration..

Sakhi Bansal: My work here is done; it’s time to pull the plug. Don’t worry, I will hang around. 🙃

Preiti Pearl: No one motivates you until you motivate yourself.

It’s a delight announcing the best one which I chose to be the winner of this particular competition… Kalpana’s  caption impressed me more than the others as it tells how our gloomy life can be lighted up with little wit and fun. Moreover, it was really a very WITTY quote so I chose it to be the best.

 CONGRATULATIONS, KALPANA K VOGETI!

 

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