PRECIOUS PRINCESS YOU ARE ❤❤

Talking about my four years old angel, my daughter Nandini.  2015, June, she came into our lives and since then it’s been a fantastic journey with her.

Four years of age but she is independent, smart and confident. Being a mother I shouldn’t praise too much about my own child because Nazar Lag Jaati Hai (cause jinx). Its too much fun with her around.  Few shades and incidents of her I would love to  share :

She is an independent girl in the making: Me “Nandini let me hold your hand while we are walking to school“. Nandu (we fondly call her):  No thanks. And that’s a subtle way of saying Mom mind your own business 😁. She chooses what she would wear everyday (of course I enforce a lot 😉 to convey who’s the boss 😎), from brushing her teeth to wearing her jacket she learnt it quick.  I remember this particular incident where she somehow missed my line of sight in an indoor play area. I was attending my son and on realization that Nandu is no where to be seen we searched hysterically every corner of the play area.  And then the idea struck me “search the toilets” and I was lucky on that day to have my husband besides me as we had to search in gents toilet too and Madam was found there as she couldn’t make out what’s the difference and it was urgent 😁 and she is independent enough to know where the toilets are. That day I told her clearly “giving information before action is important ” 😁.

Never fails to surprise (sometimes shock too 🤪): One day she took scissors upstairs.  I let her because I was confident because those were craft scissors and she knows very well how to use them. Few minutes later she called me showing scissors in one hand and held hair in the other and said “Mom shall I cut my hair?” I immediately ran upstairs to stop her while yelling “No!!!!” and I thought I saved the day only to find that she already did the act with a bunch on one side and hair was lying on the floor 😱.  Luckily that wasn’t a lot so that we didn’t have to rush to a hair dresser.

She teaches me ethics:  She follows what’s been taught. Sorry, Welcome, Excuse Me, No Thanks, Thank You, It’s Ok and all the basic etiquettes she is trying to implement them as a good student, thus trending the right path. And this is not the news. But what amuses me is that she reminds me of those etiquettes when I miss the mark. It was yesterday only when we were doing an activity together. She passed me the mosaic sticker that was supposed to be pasted on a cardboard.  I took it and was busy pasting it and she interrupted “Mom you should say Thank you ” and I was left chuckling “my little princess!!!”

And smartness yeah!! She uses the card “Sharing is Caring” to her advantage very well.  When she is done with her portion of ice cream or chocolate she would run to me or her brother with her mouth open and saying “Sharing is Caring ” while vice versa with her favourite stuff rarely works 😁.

These are few drops from the ocean of awesome moments I had with her.  And did I mention she is interested in every activity under the sun. She wants to paint, dance, play football, swimming, act and what not. In short she is Mini Me – interested in everything. She mimics, poses for pictures, dances with crazy steps leaving me surprised and happy or surprisingly happy. And the best thing with her around is that she says “Mom you are my best friend” and I am floored. She is indeed my princess and a friend to cherish for life, my support who understands me.

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“Fairy” by Nandu😁

20191112_112819.jpgFingers dabbled on canvas

DEEP WITHIN – X

It was Aman at the door, his presence didn’t surprise but it was his state that surprised, rather shocked everyone.  Aman was there with a fractured foot and was walking with a support.

Teammates rushed to him with utter disbelief and a volley of questions “when, how, where” and everything around.

Amidst that commotion a soft (in decibels only) voice enquired Aman “how did it happen?“. It was Punit, who never ceased to make fun of Aman but his demeanour at this moment was unusual of him. (Is it the previous day effect?).

Aman: “I had a minor accident this morning, doctor said it’s a hairline fracture.”

As he was continuing Mr.Sharma arrived and was worried at the sight that was before him.

Mr.Sharma: “Oh God! Aman what is this? How long will it take to get set? What are doctors saying? We have matches lined up in less than two weeks“.

Mr.Sharma seemed restless before Aman could answer him.

Aman: “I understand sir, very unfortunate but I won’t be able to participate in training or matches at least for next 1 month. Team needs to decide on the order of batting with immediate effect so as to streamline the things. And I have a recommendation to make, can I?

Aman paused to get Mr.Sharma’s affirmation which he did get immediately.

Aman: “Sir, I think Punit and Sanjay (player 1) are best bet to open and Sanjay with his skills and rapport with the team can be the vice captain of the team in my absence.

Mr.Sharma “seems a viable option for me, I am ok with this if team agrees. At the end of the day it’s a team game”.

And pat comes the nod of everyone in the team except for Punit and Sanjay who were silent.

And gave a sharp look at the team that had dumbfounded Sanjay, who was witnessing all the occurences in disbelief and as he stood there Aman walked up to him and placed his firm hand on him and in a rather hush voice said “this can be your passport to fame, prove yourself as a team member, playing for the team, accolades and position will follow“.

After this meet everyone dispersed to the practice ground.  Punit with his coach’s permission left ground for a while and he met Aman at the exit asking if he could drop him home.

It was Aman who was actually surprised by this turn of events and without uttering a word gave his consent even before he could realise it.

Throughout the way no word was spoken apparently but their minds were everything but calm.

They reached Aman’s place. As he got down Aman invited Punit to his house. Punit declined the offer at first but insistence from Aman made him to enter his place which he  used to mock upon earlier.  Even Punit was wondering why he is doing this….

DEEP WITHIN – VIII

Things started rolling at the RPC academy. Practice sessions got intense so did the overconfidence of Punit. He firmly believed that he is the face of the team, his team needs him, his team loves him and everyone wants him to be around. But this belief at least let him improve his game.

But soon he got the reality check that once again raked his vulnerable, volatile self.

Punit overheard the dressing room conversation, in fact witnessed the plot that was being planned against him by the teammates as they were unaware of his presence in the vicinity.

Player 1: Tomorrow is the day when we have to show our solidarity as players of a team.

Player 2: What’s the plan?

Course of their conversation took a sharp turn when the players revealed their intent.

Player 1: We have to make sure that that haughty rich captain of ours is shown the doorway. We might have to under perform, we might have to lose matches but he should not the get accolades of being the captain of a successful team. We have seen enough of his tantrums and dominance and no more we shall dance to his tunes who places himself above the team. Who all agree with me, raise your hands.

Amidst all the murmurs of affirmations and doubts a hand was raised.  It was Aman. He was there watching all the drama unfolding.

Punit’s hate for him was more or less getting cemented with this gesture of Aman.  He was raring to go and smash Aman but pulled himself back and kept himself at bay to listen to Aman’s plan.

Aman:  So basically you want to get yourself out, bowl haphazardly to aid the opposition, fumble in the field only to trample Punit, isn’t it? Or did I miss anything?

Player 1: you got it.

Aman: But why? We can talk to Mr.Sharma about our viewpoint of Punit. We can solve this off field too.

Meanwhile Punit smirked in his heart “Huh, come on Mr.Goody Good, show off your true face.

And the discussion continued in the  dressing room.

Player 1: Oh come on Aman! Are you this naive or acting so? Don’t you feel hurt to what has happened to you? You were overlooked straightaway just to get the prince conferred with the captaincy crown. On innumerable occasions he jeered at you, looked down upon you. This is the right time to set things straight. And do you really feel that Mr. Sharma has any power over the board headed by Mr. Shah to heed attention to our feelings and demands? Had it been so you would have been in Punit’s shoes at this moment.

Aman: Sorry brother, I never appointed you as my mouth piece. And don’t worry about shoes, be glad that you have feet. And for all those who think that his plan (pointing at player 1) should be our course of action, I just have one question, “Is he trustworthy? Can you guarantee his loyalty to anyone of you when you are in Punit’s place? I agree Punit have behavioural issues but he isn’t a bad person and most importantly not a cheat conspiring against own team. I know many among you who seek monetary help and otherwise from him and he was the best person around then but his position now is hurting you all. Why?”

This brought an absolute silence in the dressing room while one person’s thoughts raced and made fluttering noise in his head and wanted Aman to continue so that he could arrive at a conclusion, that’s Punit who was still oblivious to the teammates.

And Aman did continue: put your team first, if it wins those laurels won’t go in vain for you too. And if you can’t be loyal to your team now, I can see a possible traitor in making standing against the country for his personal gains.

Aman’s strong statement was interrupted by the player 1.

Player 1: you got me wrong, it’s for the team only I was talking about. We have to stick together.

Aman: Yes, now you are talking! We are a team and Punit is in our team. And don’t forget I am the Vice Captain and can take disciplinary action against you, remember the rules? Cut this crap and concentrate on your game.

Aman was stern this time, very unusual of him and left the room without noticing Punit…

DEEP WITHIN – III

A storm passed in Punit’s room but his heart is not yet at peace. Shobhna entered into his room silently, silence which was only camouflaging her inner turmoil as she already was hinted by the maid. Punit’s behaviour was always a matter of concern for Shobhna. Trisha was a mature person despite of the turbulent atmosphere in the family. She was a clone to her mother in maturity.

What happened Punit? Why are you upset?” Inquired Shobhna in an intentional meek voice.  But Punit was all flaring up in rage  “Don’t disturb me Mom, I am not in a mood for your preaching. I don’t understand what’s wrong with you all! That loser, good for nothing coach is overlooking me, The Punit Shah, son of Vikram Shah for that Slumdog Aman for captaincy. I’ll show them all that they are nothing and team is Me” and he continued spitting venom while Shobhna heard everything in utter silence and a hint of disgust as she was witnessing a outright selfish, self obsessed, arrogant person in making and thinking whose fault is this.

As Punit paused Shobhna took the chance to speak her determined mind “this is no way to speak to anyone or about anyone, I hope you received some etiquettes as a child, haven’t you?  You have to calm down first“. Shobhna had a calm demeanour to her voice as she was arranging the storm hit room and meanwhile trying to infuse some sense into her son’s disoriented brain and she continued “your problem is not your coach or Aman but your own attitude that makes you think that you are above all. Stop taking yourself too seriously dear“.

Punit stared at his Mom fuming as she settled besides him.

Shobhna: “Look, let your talent and hard work speak for you. Don’t use your surname as your passport and don’t let your bad attitude be your signature. It’s high time before you mend your ways.”

Punit: “I told you already don’t give me lectures about on ethics, etiquettes, values.  I am grown up for this nonsense chatter of yours. Do they know who am I, I will show them.”

Shobhna exhaled sharply, nodding in disbelief, posed one question “Do you know who you are? Try to prove your identity as Punit, not as someone’s son. Do you have that courage? Can you be the one who you desire to be without all the luxuries holding your back?”

And she left his room leaving the ball in Punit’s court.

YOU CAN NEVER BE “NOTHING”

May not be the chime in rain drops,
But you might be the rainbow hidden in the water prisms,
just waiting for the beams to shine upon.

May not be the fragrance of freshly sprinkled earth,
But you might be the pot hidden in those particles,
just waiting for the hands to carve you.

May not be the breeze on a moonlit night,
But you might be the power of wind shattering the barriers,
just need the right direction for your flow.

May not be the apparent shine of gold,
But you might be the strength and value of a diamond,
just need fingers to polish and brush away the dust on you.

May not be everyone’s dream,
But you might be the music in someone’s life,
just need to usher the tunes of smile.

May not be everything you wanted to be,
But you might be something,
better and destined to be for you can never be “Nothing“.

SHORTEST LOVE STORY

She had a monotonous life, which she always cursed standing at the bus stop from where she used to board a bus to hell – her office, her 4×4 cubicle which had a lot of commotion sans any emotion.

But that day had a surprise for her, her eyes met another pair of eyes, looking fondly at her from a distance, eyes smiled instantly and lips couldn’t remain unaffected.

And these smiles, glances, gentle gestures soon became a routine for her but she enjoyed this monotony and attention that never greeted her before and now she doesn’t want it to elude her.

Her looks and attire which she never cared for, now mattered to her and she put efforts to impress those eyes now, she was herself amused at this development.

And finally they inched a bit closer, from lovely glances to soft conversations the distance between them narrowed, all smiles, she could hear violins, too cinematic by her own confession but she couldn’t help herself  from getting drawn towards him.

And one day finally he said “you got the most beautiful smile, your eyes speak volumes, I have been waiting to say this to you and I have a question for you – would you mind joining our gym, you just need to lose few pounds, you will look great, we are having a discount period running, what say?”.

This left her stumped, she was in doubt now, “shall I marvel at his promotion genius or shall I fume at him that he indirectly called me fat or shall I nurse my shattered dream or SHALL I JOIN THE GYM?”

I DON’T WANT TO LOOK DUMB

Year 2016, I failed my first ever examination.  And by examination I mean literally examination where candidates sit in a room and test their knowledge about a particular subject. (My conscience is knocking me at this moment “Are you sure FIRST TIME? What about the one or two competitive exams you appeared for 🤔?”  Pat comes my answer when the results are unknown I can easily state conspiracy theories😎).  But in this situation results were out instantly and I flunked. What an embarrassment! My head hung in shame and searching for excuses or you can say solace in answers like “you are not alone, relax! Out of 20 people present there only one or two cleared the test. And there was one candidate who got it all wrong. And you were just 2 points away from the passing mark” and many points in the same league just to console my hurt heart which was crying deep inside “Ab kaise muh dikhaaoge gharwaalo ko” (how would you face your family now?).

Why I was ashamed? Is it because I had to shell out more money (I forgot to tell that it was a driving theory test) I preferred to give my test in English? Is it because my husband had to skip many lunches at home as I was preparing hard for this 🙈?  Probably because I was taking myself too seriously, trying too hard to keep up my image of a “topper”.  My failure in that exam was a result of my fear, pressure to prove myself, in short my insecurity (My good friend Rajnandini mentioned in her article “No Insecurity when God is your Security“. Result could have been different if I would have concentrated a little bit more on logic of driving lessons, just saying.

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(Image Credit – Google Inc.)

Coming to the current year, 2019. I finally cleared my driving theory test with an excellent score. And comes the next stage, I am finally at the steering wheel. Thought practical will be easy but it’s been 16 hours, 4 hours per week but I am still at gear 2 and my instructor continuing his high pitched shrilled voice “Kalpana – what about maintaining your right? Look how close we are to the edge; look how far we are from the edge; Why is your car trembling? You can’t change the gear without handling clutch” and he continues.  At the end of every session he repeats himself “don’t drive with hesitations, pressure and fear. Driving isn’t that difficult.”

And a deep introspection of his words again puts me in the dock asking myself  “why do you fear so much? Why do you want to prove yourself ? Why not relax and let it sink?” Answer is probably  I am still in control of my insecurities instead of my car 😁 – I don’t want to look and sound dumb. I have the pressure of learning how to drive for my kids but the pressure of proving myself is greater than anything else.

All said and done I don’t have any inhibitions to accept that yes I am an insecure person. My insecurities stem from the fact that I want to guard my image, I fear people’s perception about me. To put it simply – I don’t want to look dumb. I am sure there are many more people with me on the same page, sailing the same boat. We take up things to prove ourselves, we hesitate to clarify our doubts because we fear mockery, we hesitate to say NO because we don’t want to come across as rude, in short we are too indulged in ourselves or take ourselves too seriously.

It’s time to break shackles of our insecurities and to breathe free.  Reason – our “image” is not of tad importance to anyone.  It isn’t a picture of  Mona Lisa decorating the Louvre Museum, distortion of which would make a huge difference to anyone. what say? Do share your experiences and start breaking and  breathing free because every iota of world’s creation and creature have it’s own importance. Just bask and soak yourself in that glory. Meanwhile I will try the same 😁.