Completely rattled by a relentless commotion,
I looked around to ascertain the origin of this motion.
More I dug deep and looked around, more I felt disappointed,
For there’s only a vacuum sucking me in and left me disoriented.
There’s a myriad of reasons to be celebrated with glee,
Also there’s despair marking it’s presence, lurking around rearing to engulf me.
I ran incessantly to escape the deafening roar chasing my existence,
Only to find the horizons closing on me, throttling every trivial glimmer of resistance.
I clasped my hands to hold on to a cover to shut off that nerve wracking noise,
I believed that shore is finally in reach, so is my sanity and poise.
But truth finally dawned upon me, it was the cry of pain emanating from the heart,
A barrage of piled up emotions that sedimented for ages now determined to tear me apart.
I realized for long I have been walking without moving an inch,
ache of being rejected, failing, falling is making it’s voice felt now with a pinch.
Nothing achieved so far , not sure of any success in future,
Its the buzz of questions that I posed to myself – how long like this, would I be able to provide my broken soul any suture?
For the moment I am standing at a juncture fighting demons within that eloquently pronounced me a failure,
Aware of the fact yet oblivious to the outcome, the only choice I am left with is to either give up or go down fighting as a gladiator.
The buzz of failure from within is the worst enemy one can deal,
It could cripple the courage, hurt the senses and butcher the individuality beyond heal.
I am listening to that buzz of failure…