I AM IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Saakshi

Ohk, so here I am sitting on a comfortable chair in my home and somewhere is Prerna Aditi, hopefully sitting in her comfy chair in her home as we conduct this one on one interview. Yeah, I know I am taking the liberty to feel like a celebrity, but then again, why not, I have always loved watching Koffee With Karan.

Jokes apart this quest to know each a little better is one step further we have taken in the Candles Family to bond and feel connected. I appreciate and thank Prerna Aditi for taking the time to make this questionnaire and now let me answer them as honestly as I can.

Prerna Aditi’s Questionnaire:

1. What is the first thing you want to see when you wake up every morning?

Ans: It has been my habit to make sure the people I love are alright first thing in the morning. I take a look at my mother to see if she is okay and if she slept well in the night. The next thing I do is to check my Whatsapp, which tells me all my near and dear ones are alright too. When my beloved father was alive, I used to call his cell phone and ask him if he is okay. I sometimes still forget he isn’t around and call his number.

2. What annoys you the most?

Ans: I think I am a short-tempered and temperamental person, so it takes very little to set me off. I have got hardly any resistance to indecent and bawdy people. I get annoyed if someone bugs me or gets into my personal space. And last but not the least I can’t stand unintelligent people. Don’t take me wrong here, I don’t mean I can’t stand a child or a distressed person or even a sick person, but someone who just isn’t ready to broaden up their minds and be more open to possibilities.

3. Do you fear of being judged or ignored?

Ans: Yes, I used to live like that all the time a little while ago. I was scared of saying ‘NO’ and had perpetual anxiety that people would move out of my life if I don’t agree with them. I didn’t want society to judge me based on my decisions and actions and henceforth always felt suffocated and caged. But then I realised I will only live once so better I start living the life I want and stop caring what people expect of me. Those who have to move out will leave me come what may, no matter how much emotions and energies I pour in them and those who wanna judge me will do so regardless of my intentions. To put it more simply, those who are worth it won’t judge, and those who judge aren’t worth the effort. It feels good to have no weight on my wings, makes my flight much more fun.

4. How to keep ourselves calm even in an extreme situation?

Ans: Haha, I don’t think I am the right candidate for this particular question but let me give it a try. I am the first one to lose my cool in extreme situation, and my mother is the one who steers the ship clear of the storms. But one thing that I have learned from my experiences and that has made me much more stable in crisis is the naked truth that in the end, everything gets alright. There should be a certain level of detachment needed to deal with radical times, be it good or bad. Today you are happy, then dance but don’t forget this too shall pass. Today if you are sad, then cry but don’t forget that this too shall pass.

Just remember this thing won’t stay forever and keep one step in front of the other, take one day at a time. Just like climbing uphill, don’t see the peak, but just keep moving. It won’t lessen the struggle but would give you the patience and perseverance to make it to the top. At this point, I can’t help but quote this…

“If you can’t fly then run if you can’t run then walk if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Martin Luther King Jr.

5. Have you experienced the best day of your life?

Ans: I would say Yes and No. I don’t believe I was supposed to have just one best day, I think I can have several. So I guess I have surely lived some best days while some are still waiting for me. One such day was spent at Fisherman’s Cove’s in Chennai with my parents, walking on the beach and collecting shells, drinking coconut water and feeling the sand slip from under my feet as my father beamed at me. Another best day was when I stood in a shower of rain that was summoned by me and got drenched to my skin as my mother made tea in the stove of our cottage in Kasauli. One such day was spent in a treehouse in a coffee estate of Ooty with someone extraordinary, but I woke up and realised it was just my dream. I want more such best days with my future family.

6. What’s the best according to you- school life or college life?

Ans: I think my school life was better indeed. I had great teachers who loved me, I had great friends who came to my home after school to study and play, and I loved my school. The best thing about school was the childhood that would never ever come back. Those sleepovers, those stage practices and those debates, they are missed to date. The shared tiffin box never tasted that good ever again, the water was never so fresh and sweet as from a borrowed water bottle. There was no greater stress than coming exams and no more significant sorrow than not being able to answer the last two questions. Things were simple, logic was straightforward, and the world seemed like a safe place.

7. Which one’s better- a reserved and introvert person or an amicable
and carefree person?

Ans: That is a tough one. Haha, life is easy for those who are carefree and amicable. They handle stress much better and take tough things in their stride. They know how to swallow some unpleasantness with a pinch of salt, and that is one thing that plays a big part in keeping you happy. For better or for worse I am just the opposite. I am the reserved introvert you mentioned in your question which has been trying hard to break out of her shell. It’s not easy being like that as people take you wrong and consider you as a snob and arrogant person. Very rare view try to put in the effort to know you better and crack you open. But then we have upsides too, once you get to know us, you will realise we are fun and witty and love to interact. People like me take some time to open up, but once we get comfortable, we are there to have your back throughout.

8. How do you handle rejection?

Ans: I have no problem facing rejection. I wasn’t born with a Right To Acceptance. I will be put down and rejected but the thing to remember is that does not make me, or whatever of mine has been rejected worthless. Fine, this was not my day, I will have another day. This was not my chance, I will have a better chance. God has something better in store for me, or maybe it is just simply as I put it “Their Loss”. Great ideas of great men have been rejected by the most unenlightened, but no one can stop greatness.

9. Did failure ever break your spirit?

Ans: Yes, this happens to me almost every day. I am an aspiring writer, and I am working on writing a book. For the last many months I have been facing the worst kind of writer’s block. I have tried all things, all methods to get the muse back, to get back into the groove and it’s just not happening. I hate myself when I sit in front of my PC and look at the blank screen and have no ideas to pour life into my characters. When I think about it, I feel broken and question my credibility as a writer. Do I have it in me? Can I make it to someone’s bookshelf? My spirit knows the answer is “Yes” but it can’t figure out how yet.

10. Did you ever feel giving up?

Ans: Your tough questions are making me feel like giving up right now. Just kidding! Yes, as I answered in the 9th question, I question my abilities every day and there is this urge to give up on my dream. But this dream has grown on me and taken hold of me so forcefully that I have nurtured it in my heart like my blood and flesh child. I just can’t afford to give up on it. I am lucky to have a handful of people who believe in me more than I believe in myself and they keep me motivated and confident. They keep pushing me and then comes the fear to disappoint them, and the desire to give up now, before I am called a complete failure is even stronger. And that is the time that I go back and read something I wrote and get awed by the beauty of it like a mother looks at her baby, and wonder how was she able to create someone so unique, so beautiful and I decide to give myself one more chance. One more opportunity every single day until that one day when I finish my first draft.

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6 thoughts on “I AM IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Saakshi

  1. Saakshi, you are never short of words. You know how to skillfully address to anything which needs to be addressed through beautiful words. :p

    Beautifully answered to each of Prerna’s questions. Enjoyed reading all of them.

    Liked by 1 person

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