THE BROTHER OF MY HEART

The most underrated relationship is that of siblings. We praise our friends,our parents but often forget this very important person/people in our lives. I love that I have this opportunity to thank one of the most important part of my life today: my big brother.

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Bhai & Me

Bhai, as clichéd as this sounds thank you for always being there and I am truly blessed to have you in my life. The earliest memory I have about you,  is that you were this annoying kid who used to tease me with “innovative”  names, who scolded me for following him and his friends around and also for trying to be a part of his cricket team and being really bad at it!!!

And then, you started your hostel life and we kind of drifted apart for a bit there. But then life changed when I started college, but I think it was for the better because i had you as a senior (ergo no ragging). I remember the times you saved your pocket money.. so that you could take me for out for  shopping trips. I know it’s not a big thing, a few hundreds, but it was the effort of saving even from the little that you had, just to gimme a luxury that others in the hostel did not have: freedom. Thank you Bhai, for becoming my home away from home.

And then when I graduated and moved to Bangalore you had already become the man of the house. And through the years I have seen you become so much more than a elder brother. You have become the rock of our house, the man of the house, and the solution to most of our problems. The sacrifices you have made in order for me to pursue my dreams has made me ever so grateful  to have you in my life.

You are my inspiration and my reason to go out there and do my best. Thank you Brother!! For holding me up in troubled times, for encouraging me to face my realities and to conquer my fears, and accepting and admiring me just the way I am. You truly are the wind under my wings and the brother of my heart!!!

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CHOICE OF WORDS

I would most definitely start with a disclaimer, this was not one of my finest moments… It is funny now but at that point I was horribly embarrassed….

This was during my college days.  It was a normal college day but I had had a terrible day so far and was in a really bad mood. I along with my classmates was hanging out with a few of my juniors and were discussing about few things that really made me feel disappointed. I was annoyed and in my anger and frustration I uttered a few choice words in the English vocabulary against our colleagues’ managing director. I never knew who’s around us… and unfortunately he happened to be standing right behind me.

Oh!! the horror!!

I just stood there frozen!!! He left without saying a word!!! I went apologized to him later and the rest is history.

Now when I think about it…. the whole incident sounds hilarious to me but I did learn a lesson that day…. two actually…. and both lessons apply to every aspect of my life now. First, look around before you speak and second, don’t speak ill of others…. there is a good chance of others eavesdropping.

KNOW WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE

I am a huge fan of stand up comedy. I mean a stage show with the perfect mix of humour and sarcasm is a “paisa-wasool” performance for me. And I’m one of those people who likes to work those witty remarks, subtle insults and funny intonations into a conversation because you know everybody needs to add a flavour into a conversation and I love being the funny one.

I have been brought up in a family where me and my siblings love taking the mickey out of each other and it’s all in good fun. So, naturally as I was growing up, I inculcated this into all aspects of my life: with my friends, relatives, acquaintances and now with my colleagues. And I love being the one who can make somebody laugh.

But in all these years I also learnt it the hard way that not everybody is as accepting of being the object of my humour. Amidst all the applause and laughter I never paid much attention to fact that I might have inadvertently hurt somebody’s feelings even though I had not meant to. That’s when I learnt that there is a very thin line between funny and rude. And that taking back your word even if it was in good humour is never possible.

Also, being a funny person your EQ needs to be higher so that you are aware of the situation you are in, know the kind of people you are with and then carry out a conversation which puts them at ease.

So if you are one of those people who likes being the funny one, know where that line between funny and rude lies, try your best to never ever cross that line and lastly, if you do end up cross that line be sure to apologise profusely and sincerely. There is nothing wrong in being funny, just make sure you are not insensitive.

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LET IT GO

The earlier article about forgiveness struck a chord too deep.. It’s was the naked truth. Forgiving but not forgetting. Forgiving is so tough when all you want to do is hold onto the anger and hurt. But it’s not the most difficult aspect as said before. And I think one of the reasons we can’t forget is because when we forgive , we forgive the person who hurt us but we are not able to forgive ourselves for being naive enough to trust that person. It is a way of us holding onto that moment in our head and playing it over and over again ,thinking of an alternate ending. Wishing it had not come to that, that we could have altered the past . That we had not given anybody that kind of power over us , to manipulate and hurt us in the worst way possible. And in the despair of our situation, we forget that we have already forgiven the person who caused us the pain and the only person suffering now is us. The only person wallowing in self pity is us. And that the only thing we alter now is our present.The whole concept of moving on from a mistake is running the entire nine yard.. to forgive and forget we need to forgive ourselves too.

The movie frozen has a very beautiful song tagged “let it go”.

So…. Let it go Indeed…… and for that we need to forgive, forgive some more , forget and move on…. In exactly that order…

YOUTH : VESSELS OF HOPE

Ask a potter and he will tell you… the fire does not create the vessel, it just completes it, makes it stronger. The real beauty of the creation is when he moulds it, takes a lump of clay and transforms it into a useful product. It’s the perfect example of our youthful days. This is the moulding stage of life, where our life is transformed into a thing beauty. The lessons we learn, the actions we take are directly proportional to the kind of future we will have, and it’s very important that we remember that we were created for a purpose, His purpose. We were moulded by our creator to become a vessel of hope for the world around. We have a responsibility towards our society. Our youthful days are when we tune in to the world around us. People have a wrong perception that our youthful days are just to educate oneself and to decide what we need to do next in our lives, and though the thought holds true, it’s not all. This is the time for youths like us to take responsibility to increase the standards of the society, not only financially but culturally too. We are plagued by so many serious issues that its not even funny. Corruption, Honour Killings, Domestic violence, Rapes, Riots…. The list is endless. But I think the mother of all issues is our self centeredness. We are not able to look beyond our problems. We do raise our voices, but for all the wrong reasons. We are ready fight, but do not know what we are fighting for. And we believe violence is the only solution which is so far from the truth.  

There is proverb from the Bible that has always appealed to me, 

“Remember your creator in the days of your youth.”

It’s an apt verse I think. We are at a good stage of our lives, these are the days where we need to remember that we wonderfully and fearfully made by God in his image to glorify him through our thoughts and actions. If we remember that, we can change the world in a better way , so that we can improve the evils of the past and make way for a brighter future.

WHO SAYS VALENTINE’S DAY IS ONLY FOR THE COUPLES TO CELEBRATE?

Valentine’s Day for a person who is single is such a nightmare. Every coffee shop or restaurants or even book shops as decorated with little fluttery hearts and everything as far as your eye can see is decorated in red. I for instance have never celebrated Valentines Day. Well, I have always been single… so that’s a moot point isn’t it. But I have had lots of fun moments with friends and family during this day or week.

During my college days we were not allowed to go anywhere outside the girls hostel compound because ours was a very strict college. No boys and girls are allowed to meet on the day. So all my single and committed friends were kind of forced to spend their Valentine’s Day with each other and one such Valentine’s day during our second year we just lazed around the hostel together. We took crazy pictures had lots of ice cream…, shared quirky stories of our lives and ended the day with a dance party in our hostel rooms…

It was not like we did anything memorable. It’s just that the day was spent so simply in the company of friends that it became one of my most fond memories of my college days.

So who says, its a day only couples can celebrate? All my Valentine’s Day over the year has been spent with my family and friends. And I have had a gala time with them. I think Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate true love… For me those happen to be my family and friends. If your family or friends happens to be your true love too… Then celebrate the day with them, I guarantee you… You will have fun like never before.

WHY DON’T YOU JUST FLIP THE COIN?

A coin has two sides. And we always look at the side facing us and not the other.

Its a weird sentence to start with. But though we live in a simple world its our own emotions that complicate everything around. As much as we appear to be sensible and confident there is always that insecurity and vulnerability that is seeded deep within us and we cannot shake it off. It’s a feeling that never goes away. It is this deep rooted feeling that gives birth to our ugly side. The façade that we put on for the world to see. The arrogance, the ego, the pride , the vanity… All to  keep the world at bay, so that nobody peers close enough to look at how utterly lost you.

How unbelievable beat down you feel. The haughty eyes hide the fear underneath that if we show our real self we won’t be accepted for who we are, that we will be mocked and be called weak or naive. So we do the same to everybody around. We mock them, judge them. Because how dare they… how dare they have the guts to do what we failed at…?

So like I said, two sides of the same coin. Two stories of the same person. One arrogant and the other  lost. One proud and the other insecure. One egoistic and the other vulnerable. Simple life but complicated beings.

So food for your thoughts is how much better would it be if we just drop the act… Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we just flip the coin and show what we are really made of…? ‘A Scared bunch of people with a good heart and kind soul…!’