Surrounding with the doom and gloom of this pandemic, what’s the most critical thing I have been trying to follow is to cripple all the negativity around and make my home a little space for the happiness to seep through. And how am I doing this is by taking care that there are limits on how much news each one of my family members is consuming. Papa already had COVID and now when he has recovered and I am by his side I am making sure that he stays away from all the negativities around. Be it by snatching the T.V remote out of his hands, taking him at the terrace for a walk, making him see my college photography or by introducing him to my radiation oncology department I am doing it all that it takes.
I’m spending more and more time with my cute little munchkin so that she doesn’t miss her school friends. I read her some stories at night, help her with her syllabus, checks if she would like to share something with me. However, sometimes I feel that I couldn’t be a good sister to her. She has grown so habitual to me that she didn’t take care of her while I left her for my studies. She started watching some horror shows, looked for ghost stories over the internet. And then out of fear when she used to give me late-night calls, I rebuked her each time saying that she must sleep now. If she doesn’t leave her phone and lie down on the bed, I would not talk. I couldn’t believe that she is the same baby sister of mine. How strong she used to be! Today when I look into her eyes I can sense the fear. She looks terrified when I leave her alone at night even for a few minutes. She had been secretly crying for me. She feels once I leave for my college, she and her stuffed Mr Bear would be all alone. So I’m trying to make the best use of my time when I am around her. I’m trying to give her all the love that she wishes to have.
She and mommy love cooking so I’m taking the lessons from both of them. From trying out chocolate Oreo cake, white sauce pasta, dalgona coffee, cold cocoa, pancakes, hot chocolate, burger, bread pizza to actually cooking rajma recipe, dahi fry, some vegetable stuff, and pullaw I had learnt quite a lot.
Besides, there are times when I feel like emptiness is taking a toll on me. I feel I am happier when I am at work. But not everything goes the way, you want it to be. This pandemic has turned everything upside down. My postings have been cancelled, classes went online, academic session suffered. I even lost touch with a few people whom I will not get to see once I return to my college. My college fresher’s party got cancelled, my batch mates, a few relatives and the hospital staff with whom I had been working with turned out covid positive, someone from the family died. Plus, there have been a few things over the people and the relationships that I can’t get out of my head. I should have not been introspecting and thinking about them much.
So to combat all these, I have been trying to be friends with radiation physics, my anatomy, physiology and biochemistry books. I have also been writing some random letters mostly to my own self except for the one that I wrote to my teacher expressing my gratitude for him, I have been reading some really nice self-help books like You can Win, The Secret, The Power, The Magic to name a few. I have also been taking my 28 days of the magic challenge seriously that makes me feel gratitude deeply. Each day I get up I follow the magic ritual and share it with a few people wishing that it helps them too. I am trying to look for positivity in every situation, checking on a few people if they are really doing fine, helping mommy with some household stuff and watching some T.V shows with her, playing online chess, listening to some good music especially the Krishna flute music I can’t sleep without at times.
So, this was all about how I am doing in this pandemic. My fellow readers would love to hear from you in the comment section. Stay safe! Stay blessed! And do take care that this too shall pass.