SPEAK ONLY WHEN YOUR WORDS ARE BETTER THAN SILENCE

I do not know how many of you follow politics, most of the conversations in and out of the House of Parliament now a days have foul language. Using Fu,  Bas, Bit* etc., has become normal.  Heard of Gordan Ramsay or watched his cookery shows? They are full of beeps, in fact more beeps than words. He is considered one of the best chef’s but his language isn’t any close to even good. He runs into foul-mouthed arguments with contestants over petty things. It is a family show which kids can watch too (I thought that was the intent when the production started) but even adults take some time to get adjusted to it.

The very first encounter with foul words I could remember brought a laughter.

Few years ago, I created my Facebook account. Yes, the well loved social network where people share most about them and spend most of their time with. As you can guess I was one of the late adopters of Facebook. When I signed up, I gave my first name and in the second name column I gave a series of asterisks. Naturally I forgot about that account for few days. Couple of weeks later, one of my cousins called me to check if the account he came across was mine. I told him that I created one a week ago, he screamed at me and said, remove the asterisks from your name, that can give a very dirty impression of you. What’s dirty in that? The tool wasn’t allowing me to use an exclamation mark, I said in a casual tone. I had no idea he was serious, was under the impression that he was pulling my legs… Later on he told me to find out the meaning myself, who else would help but Google 😁

After spending some time on the internet, got a gist of what that means… Symbols can be used for such bad meanings, really wasn’t aware of this.

There is a proverb in my native language, an English translation of it would be, “If your husband calls you bitch, even the beggar would call you so

I have listened people using this proverb many times, but bad words for me are only restricted up to proverbs. They are used to convey stronger meanings to have an impact. I have never heard abusive conversations or usage of foul language either in my family or in my locality. It is true that I have not known such language until few years ago..

As I stepped into the real world, I realized it is quite common for people to use such language and a lot of them consider it to be cool… Anger, frustration are mainly the causes, strangely the other times it’s the closeness and love. Really? One must be sorry to be calling their friend bitch.

What does it take to be called a bitch in real sense? For a woman it’s an extreme insult, no matter whatever the reason is, nobody has any right to say so. Having faced such name-calling, I cried my heart out, months of sleeplessness, as such I couldn’t forget it till date. When I was branded a bitch there wasn’t a reaction in me, I stood still like a rock, unable to move. 

The other person isn’t any stranger, I have known him for over a decade, cared for him the most. I have never even had the slightest of guess that he would insult me before so many people. Few days later he said it was his love that made him say so. Well, if that is what is love, I am sure nobody would want it. Can the use offensive names to win an argument be justified in the name of love? I never responded to him, or would want to anytime in future. I can never degrade myself to use such language even if I was deceived or hurt brutally.

Many think usage of these “cool” words makes their version of argument heard, attracts attention of the audiences. I would shut myself off from such conversations, let it make me look arrogant. Let alone uttering those words, I find it very inconvenient even to listen.

I won’t say people who use that language are bad, they may be very good, but to be able to make meaningful, rich and loving relationships it is important to use respectful language. When we are good at heart, why don’t we try to use the best words our language has to offer to address beautiful people who make us happy and make our life a boon? 

 

 

Quote of the day

You choose the right track, the moment you start learning to accept your mistakes.

​STOP USING FOUL WORDS – OH… IT’S TOUGH

‘Evil always comes in its best outfit!’

In grade – V, I joined a new school and being a shy introvert kid, it took me quite a month to make new friends. In that one month, I always hesitated to mingle with my classmates. During the recreation periods, I never left my schoolbag and classroom bench and every day as I enter the classroom the only thing was in my mind – “when the last bell will ring!” While struggling for my survival in the new group, I always observed one thing that, whenever there is a fight among any of my classmates. The guy who wins the fight is the one who uses some kind of sign language with some powerful words. And my innocent mind instructed, “I must learn these words for my survival in this group” and behold on the last day of school I was well known of doing the thesis in the subject – “Foul Words”.

Let me share you a story I heard in one of the lectures of Dr Ravi Zacharias:

Once the junior devil was assigned to make a good man evil but after several attempts, he reported to the senior devil ‘Sir, it’s impossible to make that person one like us’.

Senior devil: Give me his daily routine.

Junior devil: Everyday he wakes up early morning prays to God then goes for a morning walk and listen to some devotional music and then goes office, very sincerely does his works and returns at night and spent time with family.

Senior devil: Have you noticed any of his good habits?

Junior devil: Yes Sir, he loves to learn and is fond of reading.

Senior devil: Oh…my goodness, there’s you missed the opportunity! Go back and appear before him in the best outfit of learning.

Often for the sake of learning without a discerning heart, we embrace many bad things!

Though it was too difficult and had to face several failures of stop using foul words yet finally I did it.

Bible says,

‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.’

After two years of leaving school, my elder sister and I were in our bicycles in a busy road, suddenly I saw one of my school friends calling me in foul words and waving hands in the midst of crowd and my immediate reaction was to check where are my sister and my goodness she was little ahead. The best option for me was to sneak out from that location without responding my friend.

We cannot change our old age terrible habits until we realise that what we do is wrong and it will spoil our identity. Every action leaves its influence! The second peg of wine is offered because of the acceptance of the first peg.

One step every time helps us to reach the rooftop. When we practice it to feel sorry for uttering foul words, it helps to slice it every time from our life.

Every Saint was once a Sinner!

It’s very true to say – I tried, and I can’t make it, I failed! But it’s I who tried it’s not I who realized and seek His infinite power in my trial. When we realize our sin and draws closer to God seeking His power to help us, it is the God of His eternal, infinite power that helps us to overcome our sinful always. He does it at the exact time by reminding us our commitment of not committing the same old-age sin.

Being human we make good commitments but forget while committing sin and realize after committing sin but seeking God’s help will benefit us by reminding our commitment at our weak time and re-energises our soul to sacrifice everything that comes along the way just to stand perfect before God and human and leave a perfect influence.

God be with you!

Quote of the day

Instead of closing the book what we need is to turn the pages around and begin a new chapter of life.

DEAR TONGUE….

Dear Tongue you got 32 Guards

But still, you break the bars so Hard

Talking things that sound so Bawdy

You call it Trash, but I call it Gawdy

They say it is the thing of current Mass

How one becomes so downright Crass

Some say it is Macho and Masculine

I would say it’s insultingly Obscene

Profanity, Blasphemy, swearing, cursing and Name-Calling

Hashtag everything, 140 characters are enough for Trolling

Culture, Class, Etiquettes and Manner

All have died under ‘F-WORD’ Banner

Patience is short, and tongues are Sharp

No one can play this out of Sync Harp

Polite words and soft Conversations

With Kids around just have Regulations

Some small mishap is not your Cue

To get loose mouthed and go all Blue

Nothing is gained by being nasty and Rude

All things sour with few words Crude

Communication gaps cannot be Bridged

Abusive words make profound this Ridge

 

Quote of the day

No matter how long you have walked in the wrong direction, you still have the chance to turn around and make your path straight.

LANGUAGE CREATES REALITY

When you say foul words to another – you are only expecting the other person to die while you drink the poison yourself.

It is true. When foul words are spoken, something dies inside the person who speaks them.

I belong to a family where speaking anything foul was highly discouraged. And I grew up to be very strong in that perspective probably to a fault. If I watch a movie that has a lot of bad words – I begin to get a headache and I really feel depressed. My husband often says – that I should learn to handle foul speech. What if someday I have to work with a person who is foul speaker, would I want to run away or deal with him? Well, I don’t know. But it is a reality that I cannot handle abuses. If somebody speaks bad to me, I usually just end the argument in whatever way I can. But his/her language really impacts my well-being.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I noticed that it was quite a fashion for girls to speak out the rough abuses which are usually a normal language for boys. There were some of my ‘so called’ friends who would just speak out bad abuses for no reason and sometimes just for fun. I never found it funny in fact I found it quite weird. Why would anybody want to do that? Is there a shortage of words in our language that people want to resort such a hard language.

There is a movie “Taare Zameen Par” an Indian movie featuring Aamir Khan. He tells a short story of Solomon Island in the movies which goes this way – When people of this island want to clear a particularly land of trees they don’t cut the tree directly. They surround the tree and hold hands. Then they start throwing abuses at the tree. They say the worst things ever to the tree and thereby cursing it. And eventually the tree dies. When I heard this story it got me thinking. Does a tree have ears? Does it have a brain to process the words thrown at it? No, right. Then how is it possible. It is possible because language has energy. Language creates our reality. It can be extremely positive or very negative. Language impacts the existing energy of the area. Try standing in a room and start uttering all the possible abuses that you know of. Sit down in the same room for a while – how is your mood? Do the opposite, stand in a room and say all the positive things – does it make a difference to your mood or can you sense a difference in energy of the room.

Language makes things possible. When you say Thank You or Please, it creates a reality for the other person who is now connected to you in a positive way. When you say foul words, it creates a reality of dislike or hatred which are intense negative feelings. Not only does the listener gets impacted by  our language but also the speaker gets immensely impacted.

So, be careful when choosing your words. Can you use positive words or happy words. If that is not possible – then choose the most neutral language that suits the situation.