Daughter: I and my husband are taking a divorce.
Mother: You have a teenage girl and have you thought about what affect your divorce might have on her?
Daughter: Mom!! After divorce also, we want to share the same house.
Mother: Wait, you are telling me that you are finding it difficult to live with him, so, you want a divorce, but you still want to continue living with him after divorce, for your daughter?
Daughter: Yes, Mom..
Mother: But, that is what is called marriage!!!!
The above conservation is a dialogue exchange from a series named, ‘Decoupled’. I believe it is on Netflix. If you have not watched it, I would definitely recommend watching it. As you would have deduced from the conversation, the story is about a couple who want to get a divorce due to differences. It is a no-nonsense series.. 🙂
Divorce is a difficult situation in many ways. From the series, what the director tried to convey is, if the people who are involved are dealing with the situation well by giving space, respecting each other’s privacy, and supporting during the divorce proceedings, then divorce also leads to a happy ending. The actors really did justice to the script and it feels like we are watching someone in our family going through a divorce. Unfortunately, most couples make the process of divorce messy only because they want to see the other person struggle or satisfy their ego.
Not just divorces, but even petty fights at home lead to some blame games at times. It is neither pleasant nor welcoming. I have realized over the past few years, that situations are difficult or easy based on the people involved in it. But, as humans, we prefer to blame the situation and not see through people. When we have people who are making our lives difficult in ways we don’t appreciate, the first and foremost thing always is to understand, if there is really a problem or just our perspective of the situation is wrong. If we can come to a conclusion that it is the other person’s behaviour or words, it is better to address it than live with it.
We have to continuously learn and evolve on this aspect. There is no one size fits all solution to dealing with difficult people in life. We have to be patient, let the situation unfold, talk it through, try not to overreact or control other person’s emotions. After all, all of us are humans. All of us are different. All of us are difficult in some way!
A trap in dealing with difficult people is getting wrapped up in their personalities. When we can stay objective and remove ourselves from other people’s roller-coaster psychology, we have a much better chance of moving through the situation positively – Tara Stiles