CONNECTIONS

I cannot describe the feeling, when I come across a person who can just “airlift” me to a whole different level, just by their sheer presence or a simple candid conversation over a phone line.

Some of us call it having a deep conversation, I like to call them ‘intellectually stimulating conversations’ because not only are we just brushing the surface, _{^{which generally happens at the beginning of any conversation,}} it is when we find the #MeToo’s, is when a person realizes…hold on, there’s more to US here….and the more we talk, the more we get to know small facts about the other person – and

right there – you feel closest to that other person. I know it coz I’ve felt it.

Have you ever felt at that very moment, that you wish you could pull that person out of a screen or your phone and give that person a ‘big hug’? ..and though I’ve never actually said it in actual words, Yes, I’ve fallen in Love – with ‘you’ – there’s LOVE right there…that moment, that person, the exchange…. and the best part: it just happens, all we can do is enjoy the feeling.

…and probably this is why it is always said “A Boy and a Girl can never be ‘just’ friends” – I’m still trying to wrap myself around that statement, on the one hand, I want to believe that sentence makes total sense, however on the other side, it sounds wrong on so many levels. I guess that’s also how the term ‘Unrequited Love’ was originated.

I’ve read somewhere on the internet, that when two people kiss or indulge in the physical act of love, is when people exchange energies with each other, what about when people talk then? A whole lot of exchange is done here too….and at much higher speed and bandwidth, It is one heart directly connecting with another – how does one explain a smile appearing on the face of another simply by a sentence spoken/typed? No face-to-face interaction and yet a simple compliment can bring joy to another person sitting miles away from you. That’s the power of WORDS, mixed with a generous dollop of kindness and a whole heap full of Love.

Buses, trains, stations, and airports… some of the more common places to meet people and forge friendships, Yes. But that’s not me – I wouldn’t do that… at least not make the first move. That said, in India, one cannot afford to be silent or not engage in some kind of conversation – that is almost a given.

I may be sitting in my living room, in my flat, in the smallest state of Goa, in a country far far away from you, and yet I could be saying the words you might exactly want to hear… we may be perfect strangers, and yet we’ve connected in a way that no one can understand.

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I am a language Trainer having knowledge about a few languages spoken widely across countries and continents, but when it comes to the Language of the Heart; most times than not – I prefer being a student because, in an ever-evolving world, the language might remain the same, but the ways to show it..certainly change!

B.B.B

“Broken ‘but’ Beautiful”

Clearly, something’s not right-looking at the 3 above words. I tend to look at a word or a phrase practically from the point of the language first, after which on dissecting it further, will I probably look at it from a different angle, and even after looking at it from both the aspects – it doesn’t feel quite right

I personally think the above phrase or the concept of ‘broken but beautiful’ is absolutely flawed, simply because if we look at nature as a whole – broken things don’t really make beautiful viewing (talking about objects here) and to apply the same principle to people is simply preposterous.

Help me understand better here: aren’t we taught in school, that a particular energy floating around gets attracted to similar energy floating elsewhere?; applying the same principle to people – a broken person will only be attracted to another person who is probably going through the same feeling, so how does then broken+broken=beautiful?

Yeah right! When it comes to emotions, we really can’t talk of calculations.. but if you look at it logically, you will see my point. I look at life from a very realistic point of view, so what I see, is what it is, and what it is, is the way life rolls out.

Am I reading too much into it, or am I just a realist to understand the ground reality other than just accepting blindly what I read, watch, or hear?

There’s an Indian web series by the same name ‘Broken But Beautiful’, and while it makes perfect viewing for the ‘average emotional Indian’, I, on the other hand, enjoyed it for its pure entertainment value and background music.

It is said that, how a person turns out to be, is a combination of the people, relationships, and situations he finds himself around.

People aren’t born broken, it is simply a combination of meeting the wrong people, going through wrong relationships, and hanging around in the wrong places. Ever wondered where your wheels are driving you to? or your feet walking you to? Maybe a little awareness of what we’re doing and how much we’re giving ourselves into temptations, gossip, and wrong company, would go a long way, in us leading a much more content life instead of swinging the other way.

I believe if we can sort these 3 things, we can clearly drop the ‘broken’ and simply keep it ALL beautiful

KEEP WALKING…

There are basically two types of people in this world – those who listen and pay attention and others who hear sounds and choose to ignore. If you know me well enough, you probably would know which side I’m tilting more towards…

If there is one thing that humankind is blessed with, it is the ability to use the words, include them in sentences and be vocal about our feelings – but how sad is it when all that some people end up doing is bring another down by their harsh words and negativity?

I’m no saint, when it comes to using such words – we have all said it, meant it, or even wished it in our minds. I guess it all boils down to what we all have within us, which is called crab mentality.

Crab mentality involves pulling down anyone who achieves or is about to achieve success greater than yours – and how more vocally can one get, by muttering words that would not only destroy one’s morale but also mess with one’s thoughts? – ^{Think about that.}

We aren’t bad people, yet somehow we as a race, seem to disappoint on so many levels, that it makes us think, do we deserve what we eventually get in life, in terms of support from friends, family, and well-wishers? Let us look at this picture a little closer, and notice the smaller things-shall we?

_{^{There is a man, who as he goes through life, is told that he is useless, an idiot, and even that he is worthless, where-in he finds himself broken at different phases in his life, but what we may not notice is; that he gets up every time and keeps walking at a brisk pace towards his eventual goal to achieve success.}}

What we can learn from the above picture is; The road in life is never easy, and the more people see you as a threat to them, the more likely you are to be targeted. However, keep going – for tough situations never last, tough people do.

You might have all heard about the half-full glass story, and how that being an optimist, helps look at the world in a better light. I will go ahead and say, being an optimist will get you as far as where your mind can take you, but being a realist is a far better option – at least that way, one is aware of their surroundings and act according to prevailing situations.

We live in a country <India> where emotions run high at the slightest poke, and controlling that, is probably the biggest task, we as Indians can work on.

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Learn to ignore the small things, only then, when you learn to do that, will the bigger things not affect you as much.

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

The more I interact with people, the more I am surprised… for the games that people play, every night and every day; never meaning what they say, and never saying what they mean

In ever-changing surroundings and the constant evolution of humankind – being normal, understood, and figuring out another human being- falls under one of the more challenging tasks, we as the people of today, have on our hands.

And while we skirt around the challenge of being ourselves or trying to maintain our own identities across sections of society, it shouldn’t be forgotten – we also “may” have to make small adjustments in order to “keep pace” with what the world requires us to be. What a bummer! I know right! Like we know a thing or two about balance! ..it is hard enough balancing two people on a 2 wheeler nowadays, or even the idea of two simultaneous blossoming relationships, let alone finding the right balance of what’s good or not good for us – a question that comes to haunt us every 5 years when it is time to cast our precious vote for the “right” candidate.

Choices, Decisions, and eventually actions that carve the way forward – are what’s expected of each of us, and yet, as under/over prepared we might be to face life head-on, it is where the actual dance takes place.

_{I would call myself a people’s person not too long ago, but you see…that’s the funny thing about the English Language, we can throw around a cool sounding word/phrase or sentence and if we find that it fits us well, we stick to it without actually knowing what it actually means. It took me an ongoing pandemic to know that..well, it was high time I stop referring to myself like that.}

Being someone who enjoys traveling, I get a chance to meet different kinds of people and have always been a keen observer of how people operate in natural surroundings, I do find it fascinating how so diverse, 2 individuals can be from each other, and that sometimes is ONLY the beginning.
When I was asked to write on; How it is to deal with different kinds of people, I had a straightforward answer ready as always, but then it does not have to be the same yardstick applied to everyone, hence I had to think again.

What happens when those different people end up being difficult people? A diplomatic answer would be; firstly, we don’t deal with people, we try and understand them. Easier said than done – trust me it isn’t easy, I’ve tried it out myself, and boy! have I failed miserably at that.

When interacting with someone, it would be imperative to keep in mind that, we are interacting with a creature of emotion and not one of logic – there’s bound to be friction, whether it chooses to surface or not is a different matter. Putting your heart in vibration mode and your mind in silent mode is an option I use a lot in times like that.

If there’s one thing life’s taught me over the years is that; you don’t need friends. Okay, DO NOT take that literally, the point I am trying to make here is – most people aren’t really our friends, rather, they are more like acquaintances, and when you take the emotional content out of a relationship, communication gets so much easier and situations are more comfortable. There is nothing wrong with having a select core group of very close intimate friendships, but outside of that circle it is ‘everyone else’. No one’s perfect of course, and that is a good thought before interacting with others around us.

Everyone has had a different background, story, life victories, and failures. This gives them a different lens of viewing each situation.

Are you still waiting for my answer? Okay, so here goes: The best way to deal with people like this is ‘Smile‘ & ‘Agree‘, coz when we smile and agree with them, it takes all the wind out of any potential argument or insult they may have had, it is in a matter-of-fact tone, that you’ve chosen to already take the far higher road.

Lastly, dealing with people is also an ART, that comes with practice and experience. The more you try, the more you get better at it, and if it is all about the games that you like playing with others, we all know, games are only enjoyed upto a certain point – it starts turning bad after a few bad moves. ^{I’m going to leave it to you to interpret that last sentence according to your best understanding.}

FEBRUARY LOVE

January’s passed by… and like many say; it is the trial month for the year ahead. It does take some people a whole month to get going for the year – understandable I guess.

Now February is now upon us, already 7 days into February and I can already feel… wait! No…not this year – the spark is missing, the love seems amiss and definitely the shops haven’t quite got into the whole Love Grooooove: I’m still waiting for the valentine’s discounts, some shops are sure to come out with some discount or the other. An Indian’s second most loved word; after FREE of course

The ‘Love’  month is here. There’s something about this month, that you will find people smiling that extraaaa bit, there’s just that extraaaa effort put in to make your partner feel special,  people are coochie cooing with more intensity. Being single and looking at all this around me, makes me smile…at least there’s no pressure on me to deliver.

Guess the presence of ‘red’ everywhere does ignite the passion within the hearts of lovers all around… and then Valentine’s Day  is around the corner of-course. I can’t say much about Card galleries (for I hardly see them around anymore) but then the odd shop if looked at carefully, has made sure to put up a heart here and there and the odd decoration – which of course is nice to see for a change.

I wish chocolates got a little in-expensive this time around, I would surely treat myself to a whole box of Ferrero Rocher.

Sweet February is here 🙂

What are your elaborate plans for the month of February?

In my state, Goa..it goes to the polls, and that too – ON VALENTINES DAY! What is with Goa and February? This happened in the year 2017 too, but then it wasn’t on V-Day back then.

C’mon! I’ve heard love for family, friends, and loved ones, but this is pushing it a bit too far – Love for politicians and the state?

I know what my contribution to the month of February will be..to cast my wise vote for a party that I feel will do good things in my state. I am after all an aam aadmi (common man) and what does an aam aadmi ask and want – ONLY good governance. Let us hope, many more people think the same and do the right thing. Shhhh…I’m not telling which party I am voting for. Time to sweep away corruption and start afresh, well the hope is there, only left to put it into action if the right party is elected.  

I could do with more reading romantic books, blog posts, and articles, watching romance-filled movies, hearing those lovely ballads all month, and of course the PDA’s (public displays of affection) on beaches, parks, or places I would not dare mention here. For love can be found in any nook and corner in the month of February, which does not mean couples should slack off for the other 11 months.

WHEN TRAVELING ALONE IS THE ONLY OPTION

Do not be fooled by the title of this post, I love every bit of solo traveling. In comparison to others, I do it a lot more, but I still very much love every minute spent by myself, traveling

I can’t really remember when I first traveled alone – but what I do remember is where I did travel to, it was Mumbai. Though it’s nothing more than an overnight journey from Goa to Mumbai by train, it was very soon after the first travel experience that I realized traveling alone gave me quite a thrill – that of being independent, having your own freedom, and most of all visiting a new place ALWAYS gave me the kicks. _{<and for the things that people tell you about Mumbai, that place can definitely give you some great times>}
I initially traveled to get away from the mundane life in Goa…later as I got older, I traveled because I enjoyed my freedom and of course now, I wish to travel to simply soak in the sights, sounds, and feelings of a new state, city or town/village – it does not have to be an exotic location, even a small village would do, for sometimes the journey getting to the location is as wonderful as the actual destination itself.

Company always seemed like a good idea when it comes to traveling, or so I watched in movies or read in books, but then solo traveling is a whole different experience. I traveled solo not out of choice but more out of necessity. Either dates never matched or the company didn’t, and if I may say this about myself, I am an impulsive traveler, I need not make elaborate plans – at the end of the day – what does one need? Food and Shelter – India never runs out in either department, the rest can always be figured out on the go.

They say, FIRST’s in one’s life could be equally terrifying as well as exciting, it’s all about how you want it to be. Traveling must be looked upon as an opportunity, nothing beats a good holiday and a great journey to get there.

When it comes to traveling for the first time, as all newbie travelers would do (I am sure) put unnecessary (extra) clothes.. (one really doesn’t want to run out of clean clothes and of course, how could we allow people to see us wear the same shirt/pant every time we step out of our room/hotel) _{^{If only people in a place like Mumbai even cared, or that you would find the exact same person standing in the exact same place after a couple of hours.}} It did take me a couple of solo trips to understand that. And then there would be the whole situation of shoes/slippers etc. One pair of shoes would be on your feet during travel and of course, another would be in your bag (in case the current one gives way) – why buy a new pair when we already have an extra pair at home, right? (the Indian Middle-Class mentality) Not forgetting, a storybook to read for the journey, certainly, one is never going to be enough, so put 3 more in the bag – what if I run out of things to do on a train? – that’s before I realized I could make friends and indulge in conversation too during travel, sleep and eat amidst other things.

One of my first’s posts, blogging on WordPress was about an interesting train journey I had, read it HERE, give it some Love.

Thanks to the crazy Bollywood fan that I’ve always been, the number of stories that have the lead actress and actor falling in love during travels… I grew up with the idea of finding love on the Indian Rails. to eventually fall in love with the idea of traveling itself. I’m still not giving up – I know I’ll find ‘her’ on one such journey.

I’ve traveled with friends, colleagues, a loved one, and family – but its never the same. Every journey teaches you something, every journey makes you wiser – for example, I now travel way lighter and more relaxed, sometimes a bit too relaxed. I have lots to see in India, countries abroad do not make the top 5 on the list, though I’ve visited Sri Lanka ^thrice (that does count for outside India).

I would want to end with a piece of advice:

…while traveling is an expensive affair I agree, and might not often get to do it as you wish to (domestic/national/international), hence, we go about capturing everything we see and come across on our phones, camera, and other devices – Sometimes, all that is really needed is to Slow Down, Enjoy the Moment and feel what it is to be like being in a different land, with different people around you and a culture that may be a whole different one from where you come from.

Cheers to journeys!

WAKING UP TO A NEW DAWN

The 31st evening it was.. the last day of the year gone by…I walked down the road from my building, with no particular direction in mind, only a printout to take and a few steps to make, to give my smart-band some much-needed activity. I said to myself “It is a number game after all”

The air was clear,
the mind at peace,
the hands flayed side to side
…and I had a smile on my face.
My heart seemed light,
for probably even my heart knew
it was the END of something after all.

It would soon get dark and a new day would dawn…
not just any day, but a new start… for a year was to begin all over again.

The day began…
The sun rose
I was up and about…for a walk again
I had a smile on my face as I took the stride
left and right and left again,
The baker was first, then the shop vendor
I went from place to place and wished them all… “a year to gain”
Happy New Year was the line,
as wishes came back to start a HAPPY New beginning.

Bread to break and a Newspaper to be read, the day had begun but this time – it was a new Year ALL OVER AGAIN.

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What can I say!? First’s for me have always been special, be it my first ever date, my first ever salary, or even my first ever… _{<okay! there have been a lot of first’s, maybe I shouldn’t be getting into that, I’m not saying any more>}
The day as it panned out, wasn’t out of the ordinary, as it should be. It was just a change in the date after all.

Wishing people, shaking their hands, and ^{silently judging their confidence levels by their handshake} is what generally happens on a day like this. I know it’s wrong, but can you help it?

Not every day do you get to hug people, shake their hands and get up close with another human being. However, the 1st day somehow makes that exception.

Yeah! Yeah! Covid and all… but come on! When you’re happy, you’re happy and the body reacts accordingly.

Here’s wishing every reader an awesome 365 days ahead – this year WILL be special, something in my heart just tells me that, not just for me but for the World at large. Just wait and see… actually don’t wait, I think we’ve all waited enough!