APOLOGY, THE ONLY WAY TO WIN AN INCENSED

There is a very famous saying, “To err is human, to forgive is divine”. We, humans, make mistakes and we are not perfect. Even if, we try hard, not to commit sins and mistakes, we end up committing mistakes. Sometimes, we hurt people through our words or action and maybe we don’t realize it. There is no such human who didn’t hurt a person or two, throughout life. As, Rajnandini said in her article, “we can’t please everybody we meet”, but we can apologize.

I remember one incident, my niece was one year old. Like every other household, we too taught her different words like please, thank you etc. One day, she hit her father while playing. We asked her to say sorry, she immediately held her ears and apologized to her father. It seemed so cute that I couldn’t resist myself from planting a soft kiss on her cheeks. Now, she is about to turn 4, and she understands, whenever she hits or hurts somebody, she must seek forgiveness.

Those who think an apology is a sign of being weak, they are always wrong. Seeking forgiveness will never make you weak. Owing to the fact, you are strong enough to realize your mistake and making an effort to win the trust. When you don’t apologize, you lose a valuable person. When you apologize, let it be from within because the fake ones can never restore things.

Since every human commits sins and mistakes, so every human should seek forgiveness, irrespective of their age. Apologizing has a power that heals the wound caused by our words and actions, to some extent. When we apologize, then it shows we value the person and the relationship, like anything. It shows, we are sorry for our action.

Concluding, I would say, an apology is a string that brings back the incensed and one should never miss this string.

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EXPLOITING THE FREEDOM

Sia (distant relative) and Nikhil have married two years ago. First few months went so well. But gradually, Sia realized Nikhil was controlling her. He wouldn’t allow Sia to talk to anyone, including her parents. If she talked to her parents, Nikhil would abuse her for this. Also, he would ask her to wear only the clothes approved by him and eat what he likes. At first, Sia thought her husband was caring for her but then it became suffocating for her. She would forgive him every time but Nikhil would never change. Now, they live separately and are on the verge of getting divorced.

I have a friend who was in a relationship with a girl long ago. Like every other guy, he too was smitten on his girl. For him, the girl was perfect and so he loved her a lot. He made sure not to control his love. The girl had many guy friends. Whenever my friend would ask about those guys, she would say they were just her friends. However, the girl was cheating on him and was dating many guys. After knowing the reality, my friend ended the relationship but she would call him every other day and would say, she doesn’t want to leave him. Also, she was not willing to leave other guys as well.

Reema was dating a guy and both of them were in a long distance relationship. The girl was of liberal thinking and so, she never minded her boyfriend befriending other girls. The boy, however on the other end was having some other plans and so, he cheated on Reema. The guy started dating one of his friends and when Reema came to know this, he denied and accused her of suspecting him.

The above incidents tell about how people misuse the freedom given to them by their partners and how they don’t realize the value of their other half.

When it comes to a relationship, we preach so much about “space” and “freedom”. We say every human should have freedom irrespective of whatever relationship they are into. But do we actually retain its meaning? At times, we start taking this freedom for granted. Or, maybe we don’t understand the true meaning of freedom in a relationship.

If your partner gives you freedom, then this doesn’t mean you can have a relationship with other people at the same time or you don’t have to be in limits. When you get into a relationship with a person, that person becomes special. But if you exploit the space, no one is as evil as you. Misusing the rights allowed to you doesn’t make you great. This shows, you have no respect for your partner and you do not value him/her.

Concluding, I can only say that – when you value the space given by your partner, the relationship becomes a fairy-tale but when you become controlling or crossing the limits, you ruin the relationship.

FIRST LOVE ISN’T LOVE-FOREVER

Valentine’s week is going on and people are ecstatically celebrating it. No doubt, it is very special. It is not that you can celebrate love only when it is Valentine. But the idea is to dedicate a few days of the year, for the one you love. If you ask what is love, you will get numerous answers. However, I am not going to define love. All I know is, love has no single definition because it never exists in one form. For example- we feel love for our parents, friends, siblings, nature, country, our partner and for many other things. In whichever form you feel it, there’s something in common. And that is, love is kind and you can love only when you know how to respect. Owing to the fact that without having a feeling of respect, you won’t understand the value of people or things around you.

We have seen in movies and read stories, first love is meant to be eternal. Some people are really lucky to have their first love turn into a lifelong bond or say marriage. Those who do not belong to this category are not at all Unlucky. Why? Because those people get another chance to find the best fit for them. I have seen and heard, people crying over their breakup; stating, it was their first love and they won’t be able to fall in love once again. Okay, this might be true in some cases. But it is not necessary that first love has to be forever. If you think, when you fall in love for the first time, you have found your soulmate then you are probably wrong. There’s no such soul which is similar to yours. Nonetheless, we find someone who feels right to our soul. And it is not fixed, you will find “that right person” in your first love.

When I was in school, I had a friend who was in love with a guy. The guy too loved her. They both used to steal glances at each other and did all those things which two people do when they fall in love. After one year, I saw both of them used to have frequent fights and were irritated by each other. I asked them to end the relationship as they both were not happy. They used to say, it is their first love and so they can’t break-up. Every day they would be in stress and couldn’t focus on studies. They started to lose respect for each other and therefore, they accused each other of every little thing. My friend used to say, she won’t be able to love again if she breaks up with him. However, they broke up and trust me, now both of them are happy. They both have found their perfect match. And I am happy for both of them.

If in a relationship, you are not happy and it is not working out, even after numerous efforts, then you don’t need to carry it on your back. Everything changes over time, even humans too. So, how can you decide that the feeling won’t change? Yes, it would remain the same only, if two people decide to make it eternal. For that, you need to give unconditional love along with commitment and respect. And loving someone unconditionally is not a piece of cake. It involves a lot of dedication and honesty within you.

There will be a time when you will have arguments but what matters is how do you overcome it. And if you can’t, then there’s no point in sticking to such a relationship. It is okay if your first love didn’t work out. Maybe you didn’t meet the right person or maybe both of you weren’t matured enough to hold on. So, don’t be disheartened. Remember, good things take time.

Concluding, I would love to share one of my thoughts,

“Someone broke your heart
and left into pieces?
Don’t cry over them.
Instead,
make a beautiful mosaic.”

THE DREAM I FAILED TO ACHIEVE

According to science, dreams are the stories that our mind narrates while we sleep. These are involuntary. But there are some dreams which are seen while we are wide awake.  These dreams help us in setting goals in our life. Due to this, we start believing in ourselves. We make efforts and then, we become aware of our capabilities. When we dream about achieving something, we know, we have something to look forward to. We give our best to fulfill our dreams. Every person on earth has at least one dream. Sometimes, our dreams shatter and remain unfulfilled. The reason may vary but when dreams shatter, it hurts in the same way.

After passing 11th I decided, the law would be a promising career for me. When I was in 12th, during pre-boards, I expressed my desire of pursuing law. My parents and some relatives thought I was being childish. As, in our Indian society, IIT and Medical are preferred. So, nobody acceded. When board exams were over, I said I will be taking admission in Law. And then, it was family versus Prerna. Papa was angry and then lots of discussions happened. He was the speaker for most of the time in discussion and obviously, I was at the receiving end.

I had dreamt of studying in a reputed college and having a bright college life. I had dreamt of winning accolades and what not. Next year, I appeared in the entrance exam of law and I qualified it. I was more than happy. But again, it was the same discussion again and again. I tried hard to convince them. Those were the days when I was crying on a daily basis. My parents thought engineering would be the best for me. They won finally and I was enrolled at a college which was just opposite of the college I dreamt about. Nothing was good there and it is still the same. Honestly speaking, I hate my college life though I managed to score good marks. But every single day my soul would question me, “what are you doing to yourself?” I had no answers.

I wanted to learn classical dance (Even today, I want to learn the same). But again my father didn’t accede to my wish. He thought I should focus only on my academics. Being a trained classical dancer, was also a dream that I had dreamt since childhood. Whenever I see my cousins dancing elegantly I felt sorry for myself. But now that I have grown up, I have decided that I will fulfill this dream of mine.

The motivation for choosing law was to help the deprived section of society and to fight for the underprivileged. Though I am not a lawyer, I will surely stand for the welfare of underprivileged. I have faith in my writings.

It was not that I never tried to convince my family. I did. But God had some other plans for me and probably that’s why I am here. However, I have no grudges or complaints against my parents or anybody. I love them and I am thankful for the kind of upbringing they gave.

Dreams are indeed beautiful but we should never let the desire die. We must not lose hope. Life is all about ups and downs. It is a rollercoaster and there will be times, went the rollercoaster will go down or will thrust you. So what, if one dream got shattered, we will dream something new and will fulfill that one. The winner is one who knows how to survive the hard times.

Concluding,  I would love to share what I always say, Instead of wishing, why not trust our caliber?

MY LOVE FOR YOU IS STILL THE SAME

We all know attachment is the fondness towards someone or something. This occupies the soft corner of our heart because it binds us to a person or a thing or maybe a place. The same has happened to me also.

I am attached to so many inanimate things in my life but in this post, I’ll be talking about the most favorite of them. One is Patna, my beloved city and the other is a book.

Patna is the place where I was born. Though it’s not my native place, I have an unexplained love for this place. I love Patna since when it was not so developed. The roads were not so smooth. Rainy seasons meant water logging and no schools. There were no shopping malls and flyovers. During that time, weekends meant having fun at the science center and going round and round around the historic Golghar. The zoo was our monthly picnic spot. Sunday mornings were dedicated to the famous jalebi of Hanuman Nagar. And every year during Chhath Puja, we would witness the beauty of Patna and the Ganga Ghats. Everything is still the same with development in addition to it. The modern Patna is still so beautiful. It still has the essence of the ‘Litti Chokha’, ‘Shalimar k Gulab Jamun’, ‘NIT Ghat ki Masala Chai’ and ‘Sattu ka Paratha’. The Morya Lok Complex and the Gandhi Maidan are the same as they were years back. The city has so much love. I know people will say, Patna is not a metropolitan city and the traffic sucks. But let me tell you, no other place can be like Patna.

Now, I don’t live in Patna but my heart does. Even if I travel across the world and get a chance to live in a different country, my heart would long for Patna. Here is one line written by me, that I would love to share,

“When I looked back, I saw it was still the same.
My love for Patna!”

One day I was walking down the streets when my eyes caught the sight of a book. It was “love stories that touched my heart” edited by Ravinder Singh. The cover of the book was faded but I felt it is something I shouldn’t miss. In no time, I became the proud owner of this book. I decided to read the book but in a different way. I decided I would be reading only one story in a day. The book is not about fantasy love stories. Those are heart-warming and moving stories. The stories were selected after a national contest and were published in this book. Every story says love perseveres and is kind. The book teaches you, no matter what happens, you have to trust yourself and follow your heart.

The best thing about the book is: it contains the stories penned by different writers. Their stories are worth reading. When you will read the book, you will learn, though love is only a four-letter long word but it is so powerful that it motivates you to conquer your fears and accomplish your dreams.

Right now I am far from both of them and I miss them a lot. Inanimate things are sometimes so dear to us, that we consider them as an integral part of our life. A time may come when you will sound different to the world, but when you will be with the beloved things of yours, you will be ‘you’. And this is the beauty about these things which never fades.

A LITTLE EFFORT HAS A BIGGER IMPACT

For me, festivals and birthdays mean a lot of work and preparations. Still, I manage to enjoy it. Like every person, I too look forward to my birthday and I feel extremely happy when the day arrives. When I was a kid, I used to wait desperately for my birthday cake and gifts. I would choose the best dress and would live my “princess moment”. This happened every year until I celebrated it in a different way.

I was in 11th standard. I was heading back home after evening classes. The chilly winter wind was trying its best to penetrate through my jacket. The more it went windy, the faster I walk. I went to confectionery and ordered my favorite Gulab Jamun. I came out of the confectionery and found a girl staring inside the glass door. I could sense hunger and helplessness in those eyes. I asked “Bhookh lagi hai?” (Are you hungry?). She chose to remain silent. I took out a piece of sweet and gestured her to take it. She kept staring at the sweet for 2-3 minutes. And then she hesitatingly took it. I could see bliss in her eyes. I bought her few chocolates. I got immense pleasure and that was incomparable. Since then, I try my best to have a good time with poor kids.

Yesterday was my birthday. And due to some reasons, I couldn’t celebrate it. I and my cousin share the same birth-date. So yesterday he was celebrating his birthday. He bought a cake and went on the street. He called the hard-up kids for celebrating his birthday. Four kids surrounded him and were so happy. My cousin cut the cake and fed one of the kids with his hand. I am sure he must be happy. This made me so glad.

There have been numerous occasions when I have celebrated Diwali and other festivals with such people. The happiness on their face is divine. The crackers and sweets can make you happy for a moment. However, when you do such deeds, you get lifetime happiness. I know you would say one can’t bring contentment to everyone. But when we stretch helping hands to people, gloominess will turn into gladness.

I wish someday I will celebrate an occasion at an orphanage or at an old-age home. By this, I can be a reason for their happiness, at least for an instance. When you put your effort into making someone happy, then you get mental peace and you feel delighted. It is not necessary to spend a huge amount. But a little effort is appreciated all the time. Our society and many organizations are joining their hands for uplifting the underprivileged and malnutrition kids. Therefore, let us be a part of this noble deed. Being a reason for someone’s happiness is a blessing.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

2018 is about to finish and now when I look back, I feel nostalgic. If anyone asks me how was 2018 to you, I would say, “It was the best in my life”. Reading this line, many of you might think, I just have got good marks or might have topped university exams or have got a good job with handsome salary. Trust me there’s no such thing. 2018 was best because of many other reasons. All the reasons when combined together, have given me so much. When 2018 started I was having a lot of stress. The reason for stress was some family issues. Though 2018 was not a fairy tale year but it made my year.

I graduated in this year and this really makes me happy. While I was leaving my college, I came to know what I earned so far. I earned love and affection from my teachers, classmates and also from my juniors. While returning back to home I had lots of memories which are going to stay in my heart forever. 2018 taught me the true essence of love. True love motivates us to look forward and work hard for our dreams. It is kind and never brags.

Every day brought some lessons for me. The best lesson that I learnt was “not everyone we meet or have in our lives are intended to stay forever”. The only thing that will stay forever is bittersweet memories. The year is ending day by day and so it is taking away toxic people from my life; for which I am very thankful. The last six month of 2018 proved to be of great teachings. I learnt so much. I saw myself as a grown up, matured enough to make life decisions. I found when we are determined; no one can change our decisions. Once we are determined, we get the courage to walk alone in the city full of crowd. Even though we are alone, we are always surrounded by our determination and willpower.

I hope 2019 will also bring so many lessons for me. It will be a year that will witness my growth as a matured and persevere human. I wish 2019 to award me with success and good health of my near and dear ones.  In 2019, I won’t waste my time in anger, grudges and being disappointed. I would rather invest it in being a happy and cheerful soul. After all, life is all about finding happiness despite the odds. Therefore, welcome your new year with open arms and hopes.