The struggle is inevitable,
only options available are less or more of it.
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Tag: Parents
I AM DISAPPEARING
Cynthia: Hey, why are you staring at me?
Lucy: You look beautiful.
Cynthia: Thank you!
Lucy: You seem so happy.
Cynthia: Aren’t you happy?
Lucy: I don’t look beautiful as you.
Cynthia: What has beauty to do with happiness?
Lucy: No? See, so many people come to visit you. They are amazed by your beauty. They take lots of pictures of you 😦
Cynthia: You would have seen many who admire my external appearance. Have you encountered anyone who cares for me?
Lucy: Oh! But why?
Cynthia: Yes, people are interested in their recreation but never think of what can be done to preserve us.
Lucy: No?
Cynthia: Well, no. They aren’t even bothered if I am going to be extinct. Many of my fellow species have already become extinct.
Lucy: Then I am the one who is better off here. At least some people are interested in giving food and accepting me as their family.
Cynthia: Yes, you are lucky.
Lucy: Most of our habitats are being occupied, I hope they stop doing this.
Cynthia: Yes, sorry, Lucy. I cannot do anything for you.
Lucy: Yes, you can. Please be happy
Are you wondering who Cynthia and Lucy are? This is their picture together.
From the moment I saw the picture, there was only one question on my mind. When was the last time I saw a butterfly in Bangalore? Except for parks, I have never seen them otherwise. I remember during childhood, so many caterpillars and butterflies were taking rounds in our garden. Now, we don’t have them. It is sad, the first thing I thought of is the butterfly extinction when I saw this picture.
Butterflies do not need much from us. They have their own enemies in the form of birds and insects. All we need to do is not dwell on their habitats. Another reason why butterflies are dying is the use of pesticides. Fruits, vegetables, and nectar are the main staples for butterflies. The use of pesticides is causing genetic changes in the produce, that butterflies could not survive on them. During summer, when the temperature crosses 40 degrees Celcius, butterflies cannot fly. They lose their capacity to fly. If you see a butterfly in your balcony or garden, during such time, provide water and some corn for them to eat. They cannot survive otherwise. Butterflies are very beautiful, and future generations would have to only read about them in books if we do not become responsible. Hope to see lots of colorful butterflies coming season.
THE ROAD AHEAD
This is a very intriguing picture and I like to call it “The Road Ahead…”. One look at it and I felt this depicts life. Our journey through life and our future – the journey into the unknown…
“The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
There are two ways to look at this picture. One could be the gloomy lookout. I sit in my room overwhelmed with all the problems I am facing, feeling depressed and thinking about my future. When I look at this picture I feel this aptly depicts my future. The sky is overcast with dark and ominous looking clouds. I can barely see the path I am treading yet I am zooming ahead full speed. Scared of what is in store for me. Wondering if the clouds will ever dissipate and allow sunshine into my life.
And the second outlook would be again looking at my future. But this time I am full of enthusiasm. This time I see these clouds as full of promise. The promise that the first clouds of monsoon bring to us. The promise of rains – the rains that bring us prosperity and abundance and hope that makes us zoom towards that future.
My mood changes my interpretation but one thing is for sure. I think there is a reason why God allows us to see only a little bit ahead of us and keeps the future hidden. This keeps our hopes alive and makes us strive for a better future.
As I wrote in an earlier article also. Hope makes the world go round…
LOVING WISDOM OF THE MOTHER HEN
Elusive, these days, are the sights of hens with their brood of chicks tagging behind them. But, if you go to the countryside, you’ll be greeted with such endearing scenes near farmsteads and in the fields. It is truly entertaining to watch the chicks following the mother hen wherever she goes. The mother hen, on her part, is wise in her ways to exhibit behaviours that her little ones would follow to learn.
A psychologist by the name of Konrad Lorenz was intrigued by these sights. He keenly observed the phenomenon of some species of animals forming an attachment to the first large moving object that they meet (it may be any object, not necessarily a parent animal). After conducting intensive research, Lorenz came to the conclusion that this phenomenon is innate and programmed genetically. He named this process ‘imprinting’. Most animals acquire their locomotor skills by imprinting.
Imprinting is not proven in humans, though babies are seen to imitate their caregivers in various respects. Be it in animals or in humans, caregivers are known to train their young ones as they go about their day-to-day activities.
A mother hen ensures that her chicks follow her to the right places to pick on the right type of fodder. The chicks observe their mother picking on certain worms and insects and leaving out certain others. These, they understand are poisonous. Also, the chicks learn from their mother’s behaviours how to identify the predators and ways to escape from their clutches. Sensing danger and inclement weather conditions, the hen calls out to her little ones in her special language and the chicks hurry to the safety of their mother’s wings.
The role of the mother hen is to train, guide, protect and make her chicks capable enough to survive and fend for themselves in the world.
But, not all chicks are sensitive and obedient to their mother’s voice and behavior. There are those who prefer to go their own way. They are the ones who learn their life lessons the hard way. At times, they don’t live to learn the lesson!
Looking at this picture and penning these lines, I am reminded of God’s ways of training and nurturing human beings. He shows the footprints that need to be followed and calls out to each of us in languages that we can well understand. He points out where enemies lurk around to pounce on us. Those who are sensitive and obedient to His voice walk confident of their ways – may be in rugged terrains, but sure of the grip of every step they take.
However, there are those who choose not to be sensitive to His call and care. They opt to go their own ways. Still, God spreads out His love as a mother hen spreads out her wings to protect her chicks from harm.
Indeed, God is gracious and merciful in His ways – teaching us amidst myriad life events, the ways to live and emerge victorious. Are we willing to learn under His loving care?
MY LIFE IS THE CANVAS, WHICH THEY COLOURED WELL
When I think about colours, the only thing that comes into my mind is the ample colours that my children brought into my life. When I see them, they bring me happiness, the joy of unprecedented love and care.
When I was given this picture, it just reminded me how my kids keep me happy and content about my life.
Kids never judge by anything, they shower joy to everyone around them. Last year, when I lost my dad to cancer, it was quite disheartening. It was something I could never live with, losing him forever. I remember as a child, there were times I would always wish that I don’t lose my mom and dad forever as I could never imagine living without them. Later when I had my kids, again I used to think the same.
When my dad was battling with illness, the only strength that held me stable enough to handle everything was my kids. I knew that I would be losing him forever, but I could not just sit and weep, I should assure him that pain was just a phase, everything will be fine and he would be recovering soon. He too found to forget about the pain he is enduring inside when my kids were around. It was not easy for him though, yet I knew their smile was enough for him to just forget he was unwell for some time.
Whenever I am sad or upset or even unwell, my daughters come to me enquiring me what happened to me. They never let me feel alone or even lost. Even though am their mother, they take care of me, as if they are my guardian angels and I truly believe they are my guardian angels.
My daughters wash away all my sorrows, my agony and bring me sunshine in my life. Maybe at times, I might have failed as a mother, but they are overwhelmingly my greatest support and my backbone.
I recollect the days, when I am extremely tired and over irritated, my lil one just comes to me and hugs me and kiss me without being asked. It is like they know that I wanted them badly.
Kids do things without being asked, but they do the best.
We as parents should permit to do things, as they feel like, rather than pipelining them into our own channels of discipline and other mundane things we end up doing. The more we let their imaginations run wild, the better humans they become.
Being a parent, I am used to be in a circle of moms, who are more panicked, anxiety struck, overwhelmed, scared and even confident ones. I admit I am a combination of all these. I know they will find their own way, I am not a mom, who wants just academics to be perfect, but I want them to be JUST HAPPY about what they do because I believe that they are the gems that outshine in my life.
My kids are my strength, who lead me in my life.
Like they paint the walls in my home, with their tiny fingers holding those crayons, smiling at me, as I watch them do all naughty things, even when they know, I might scold them at any moment. The just keep smiling and melt away my anger in no time.
My life became their canvas to paint the most colourful life for me with them as the colours I enjoy being coloured with.
A FLASHBACK
When Charlie sent this picture to me, I remembered my childhood days. I mean, what a coincidence! The picture depicts my childhood.
It has two kids and a real cycle down there. I and my cousin would ride a bicycle with the same expression. It was my childhood dream to own a bicycle. I never had one and this always made me feel inferior. I used to see my friends and cousins riding their new and colorful bicycle. It is not that my parents couldn’t afford one but they had priorities. They thought to pay my school fees and buying me a new school uniform was way too important than buying a bicycle.
Whenever I sat on the back of my uncle’s bicycle, I felt as if I am on the top of the world. I used to sing whole way and never wished the ride to end. Some days, I used to throw tantrums for not eating food and weeping until my uncle would promise me for a bicycle ride. Such a drama queen I was!
Anyways, I used to ride my cousin’s bicycle. He was around 4 years old and I was around 9. He knew I don’t have one and how fond I am of a bicycle, so he asked me to ride his bicycle. But I didn’t know how to ride. I fell down every time. I would come home with skinned elbows and knees. My aunt would scold me for this.
Then one day my cousin told, “Di today I will help you in riding the bicycle. Come sit and I will give you the support.” That evening, my Grandpa came out of the house and saw me trying my best to not to fall from the bicycle. He said, “Sit, I will hold the bicycle from behind and you have to put one foot on the paddle and then after paddling put the second.” I followed his instruction and to my utter surprise, this time I didn’t fall. I rode the bicycle for a complete 2 minutes and this was my biggest achievement till that day. I saw my cousin jumping happily. After that day, both of us would ride together. He used to hold me tightly while sitting behind me on the bicycle.
There were five bicycles in our street. Those who had would come along with their bicycles and then we would ride each of them turn by turn. Life was so easier then and we were so happier those days. I remember we used to celebrate birthdays by giving permission to ride the bicycle for a complete 3 minutes and that person could take the bicycle down the street to the old lamp post. Sunday mornings were dedicated for cleaning the bicycle. We used to participate equally and with full enthusiasm for the cleaning program.
Presently, I still don’t have a bicycle. But now I don’t feel pity or inferior. Because I have those memories where we used to share our belongings with each other.
These days, we are not willing to spare some time for people, forget about the belongings. If anyone parks his/her vehicle under our house, in no time we yell at them. In fact, if somebody asks for a lift or a ride, our calm expression turns into a frowning one. Even when someone asks for our help or assistance to do work, we pay no heed. We feel blaming others for our failure is easier.
But we must keep in our mind once we welcome people with an open heart all the bitterness that we hold in our heart will vanish like a vapor.
LET THEM GET DIRTY, LET THEM EXPLORE
Those tiny little feet are a bundle of joy. We do our best to take care of the little baby in the house, from massaging to cleaning, from caring and pampering to child-proofing the house. But, as the little baby grows up old enough, we forget that the tiny baby isn’t tiny anymore. Instead of making her/him independent, we go overboard in making the child dependant on us for every little thing. Why? Simply because we fear that they might not be able to do themselves or think that doing things for them is easier than making them learn themselves. And as our little children grow up into adults, we expect them to take their own responsibility themselves and make decisions themselves.
Look into the picture, the soft pink feet of the baby are covered in sand. As the child learns to walk, those always so clean feet and legs are bound to get dirty. As the infant becomes a toddler and starts tottering, she/he is likely to get some bruises. So, should we stop putting the baby on the ground or the floor?
The answer is simply no. We can’t lock their exploring bodies and creative minds for the sake of safety. Children can’t learn unless they have hands-on experience.
It’s better to let them fall so that they learn how to succeed from their failures. Instead of giving into their wants, make them learn how to wait and let them learn how to deal with NOs in their lives.
