I remember when I proposed this ‘Discovering Self’ series, in the beginning, everyone was doubtful about what I was talking. But as one or two posts were published one after the other all of the members of my team started to feel excited about their time to come. And soon days passed by with a total of 12 writers answering the questions asked to them by their teammates.

Personally, it was an amazing experience answering 10 questions prepared by teammates, my angels for their leader – Mr Charlie 😛

Summarising the whole series, I want to quote a few of the writers for their remarkable statements. They are as under:

We only concentrate on whom we love ignoring those who are showering us with love. Virtual connections and texting are only making it worse. Physical presence, caring touch, a delightful hug has become a rarity. There are very small things in life we stopped appreciating.  – Aastha

If I could eliminate a vice, then that would be “the Ignorance in human heart regarding the sovereignty of God. – Avinash

I ask a simple question “can I change anything?” If the answer is yes then I must do it instead of sulking in a corner and if no then I should better go to bed to avoid dark circles thinking over spilt milk. – Kalpana

I love myself the way I am. I always have had pampered myself and loved all my flaws. I believe, my flaws are the most beautiful in me. Through my flaws, I get a feeling that I am strong and determined. So, I am not going to make any changes in my physique or appearance… – Prerna

Alone in space!! That would be scary! But if I am to think of such a time, well, first it would take a while to grasp the fact that I am all alone there. Then, I think I would wonder at the magnanimity of the celestial bodies that I would witness all around me and begin to praise the Creator who has created them. – Rajnandini

I question my abilities every day and there is this urge to give up on my dream. But this dream has grown on me and taken hold of me so forcefully that I have nurtured it in my heart like my blood and flesh child. I just can’t afford to give up on it. – Saakshi

I think I’d just sit and laugh. Laugh around people I love and make them laugh. Spend all my time with them and make sure they are happy in that very moment. I think seeing your loved ones happy is the most satisfying scene.Vidhi

In my opinion, no matter how hard we try, something or the other happiness slips away through our fingers. I have no regrets in my life. I believe God has blessed me more than I deserve.Geetmalini

I say no only if I am not able to do what’s been asked. Popularity is secondary for me.Preeta

Even salt looks like sugar. Unless verified, a blind trust can spoil a dish. I have faced difficulties because I easily trust anyone. Bitter experiences in the past have taught me to trust better people over time. – Deepa

I actually haven’t discovered my comfort zone yet. I surprise myself when I do something new. But haven’t really known the boundary of this.Shwetha

I am known to work and live with people who are not easy to work and live with. I can put up with any kind of people. It sometimes is difficult for me but I am very adjusting. I think that is one quality that overshadows my other weaknesses.Prabhjot

I am so overwhelmed by these statements of my beloved teammates that I can’t explain. As Prabhjot said: “I feel like a celebrity answering these interesting questions.” And I want to assure them all that they are not less than the celebrities in any manner. That is why I created a new scroll-down-tab on Candles Online named – “Discovering Self” where all of our answers were arranged as individual profile pages. Please check for the same on the Menu Bar on the top of the site.

To end with, I will quote Vidhi again when she was thanking me for organising this particular event on Candles Online: “It definitely made me think of what exactly I’d be doing in various situations and also helped me dig deeper into my own self.

It is always good to be under the scanner, be once in a spotlight – answering questions and spend time introspecting within our hearts to prove our credibility in front of the people as well as before God.

Stay Blessed!!!


Thank you Vidhi for such probing questions. Thank goodness, Chiradeep told me that I have the option to skip 3 questions maximum. 🙂 

Let me answer then right away…

1) What makes you truly happy?

2) What is that one thing you’ll do anything to achieve it?

Ans: Well, I’m going to combine these two questions and try to answer them.

It’s very difficult to find even a ray of happiness amidst chaos. And finding something that makes me happy is next to impossible. 

But speaking of what makes my soul ‘truly happy’ then I would say my kids, my 2 beautiful boys. No matter where they are or what all they do to torture me (they are literally brats) or how much they adore me, they are the best things in my life. Seeing them giggle or laugh out loud or are insanely happy about the smallest things, makes me truly happy. I consider myself to be responsible for their lives and they, thus are responsible for my happiness. And for that, I would literally flip the world upside down.

3) Do you run away from situations or fight with it out?

It depends on the situation.

Mostly I fight with it, for it. I’m not the backing out kinda person. If I know I’m right, I stay put and fight with everything I’ve got. I hate to be held accountable for the wrongs which aren’t my fault. So I stand tall and face it with all my will. But…

Sometimes, such situations arise which are better left the way they are and just run as far away as possible from them because they will leave your soul marred for the rest of your life.

4) When you are sad, do you feel comfortable sharing things or do you keep everything to yourself?

Everyone in this world has their own set of problems. Some share and feel better.

I, for one, am the quiet type. I don’t like to share. I shut myself from the world and hide in my shell, like a tortoise. It’s difficult for the other person to understand what I am going through, and I don’t expect it either. So I prefer to keep mum.

5) Do you believe in the concept of self-love or self-sacrifice?

Ans: Silence is Golden… :p 

6) When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone?

Ans: I actually haven’t discovered my comfort zone yet. I surprise myself when I do something new. But haven’t really known the boundary of this.

7) What’s that one thing you would do if nobody is judging you? 

Ans: Hahaha… that’s really interesting.

You do know that no matter what you do, people judge.

Anyway, if nobody is judging me, then I would be the real me – Bold, beautiful and audaciously insane.

8) Would you rather roam around clicking pictures or run around with a journal and a pen?

Ans: Ah! A tricky one!! I would say… I would click the picture that would inspire me to pen down the beauty of it.

9) Are you using your time efficiently?

Ans: I think, the responsibilities I have to carry out every day, I carry them out efficiently. Does that mean I use my time efficiently? 😉

10) What according to you is the purpose of your life?

Ans: To answer this… I’ll be taking the reference of questions 1 & 2…

I brought two beautiful souls into this world. Taking care of them in every possible way there is and making them feel proud to have a mother like me, is the sole purpose of my life. So right now, the purpose of my life is to be a good mother. 

In the end, I just want to mention one poem to encourage my readers along with my own self:

Don’t be like the mighty elephant
tied with a meek string.
Know your own strength and
all the wondrous marvels it can bring.


Discover to be Discovered…

Thank you, Chiradeep for discovering me amidst the million bloggers and giving me a chance to rediscover myself with some thought-provoking questions from none other but you. I am glad to have come out of my protected shell to share the honest me.

1. Do you work according to your emotions or your intelligence?

in a war of intelligence, my emotions always win!

Given a situation, I first become emotional and then I think of a way to handle it with intelligence. There are many instances where I had been emotional. When I had to quit my job to become a full-time homemaker, I became emotional as I had never thought about quitting my job even in dreams. Had I not given a thought of intelligence to keep aside my job for family, I may have missed seeing the smiles in them.

2. Why are you grateful to God in your life, assuming there’s something you are grateful for?

one man’s need is another man’s sacrifice!

I am always grateful to God for what I am now, for the beautiful family and harmony in my life. Some wellwisher’s prayers for my well being is making a huge impact on my everyday life in the form of events. I am always grateful to HIM for making me wake up to see a beautiful tomorrow.

3. What are those two favourite quotes that you relate well?

To gain something, you have to sacrifice something.
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. So choose your life and chase for it.

The first quote has been following me since my birth. In every important decision of my life, I have been through a sacrifice to gain something. To share my personal experience, I almost gave up on life when I had a miscarriage at 9 months a decade before. My baby was dying right in front of my eyes. I had a low placenta and the baby fell into the toilet breathing its last. The paramedics gave up hopes when I went breathless. Had I not been emotionally intelligent that day to fight the death, I will have been a framed picture now. I chose to live and chased the death by the grace of God.

4. How long does it take you to trust a stranger?

  all relationships revolve in the axis called trust.
a five letter word
easy to say and write
but with time t
trust also rusts

Even salt looks like sugar. Unless verified, a blind trust can spoil a dish. I have faced difficulties because I easily trust anyone. Bitter experiences in the past have taught me to trust better people over time.

5. How much you value patience in your life?

we clip our wings even before testing the wind

I am not an epitome of patience. To me, patience is “what I have when there are too many witnesses.”

6. Rewards or words – What energizes you more?

life is all about finding people who will notice those little things you do for them and appreciate it.

I love words. I love words of appreciation and so do I love to return them with rewarding words in return for their effort to make me happy.

7. Do you avoid conflicts or like confrontations?

conflict is a battle between you and your state of mind.

I am very flexible, delicate, sensitive, and equally emotional. Conflict is something contrasting to my character. I try to avoid any situation should there be any conflict involving in it knowing it is worthless for an argument.

8. What are those few things that really fill your heart with joy?

sing a song of joy
live a life of love
flashback to see
the child in me
coffee and me
makes me high
brings me joy

9. What do you keep under your pillow when you sleep?

they infect you
the more you are in love.
Tears are sacred, aren’t they?

I love my pillow. It has seen me at my vulnerable best and it has whipped my tears when no one else did.

10. What was the last time you cried and why?

our last goodbye was never said

This cold sweat always breaks out on my eye. I cried today morning waking up to see a dull weather, dirty floor, my bird’s poo, washed yet forgetful to line dry the laundry, craving for sweet food and a rumbling stomach. When I realized the reason for tears, I could not help myself but laugh out loud. I went on a hunger strike yesterday and which is why the reason I cried. An emotional person like me will always have a bucket of tears no matter for happy or sad moments.

Patience is indeed a virtue. Thank you for sparing a few minutes of your time to know me.


It seems I am in the last year of school and answering questions in a friend’s slam book. Thanks to Chiradeep, who arranged such a captivating week of questionnaires.

  • Are you only good at laughing or can you even make people around you laugh at your jokes?

Ans: I am a jovial person. I love to laugh and I make others laugh as well, not at my jokes though, but at my actions and phrases that I use on certain situations.

  • Have you ever smiled at a stranger and then wished you hadn’t? Why or why not?

Ans: No, I have done something bigger than that- held a stranger’s arm! I was walking with friends in the busy Paltan market of Dehradun. I saw something and I hastily held one of my friendsss, Kapil’s arm and started walking fastly. I felt strange when Kapil wasn’t walking as per my pace. I was about to shout at him when I looked upon his face- the man wasn’t Kapil, but a complete stranger. I apologised, but the man was more embarrassed than I was.

  • What is your most embarrassing childhood memory?

Ans: I must be around 10 then. There was a pile of clothes on the bed that had just been dried under the sun. I thought to surprise mom by folding the clothes. I started the work and after a while I heard my mom calling me. I didn’t answer as I wanted to surprise her. Suddenly, everyone in the house started shouting my name. I still kept mum. Then my mom came into the room and was relieved to see me. She had thought I had gone somewhere without telling her. Though no one scolded me, just said that I should answer whenever my name is called, I felt embarrassed for the fact that my idea of giving a surprise scared everyone else.

  • What is your favourite activity or hobby that you always manage to spare time no matter how busy you are?

Ans: That would be definitely listening to songs, which I hear almost daily while doing my work or travelling.

  • If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

Ans: Yes, I prefer to be left alone, but that has hardly happened. I am lucky to have a few loving and caring people around me who sense something is wrong with me and they lift up my mood.

  • Out of the negative emotions of greed, anger, jealousy and hate, which one would you say affects you the most?

Ans: Anger for sure. Actually, I have never been affected by greed, jealousy and hate. I don’t pay a heed if anyone hates me or is jealous. But, I do get affected by the anger.

  • What skill do you wish you had?

Ans: Remembering the numbers involving money! I am very bad at recalling the exact amount I paid for something, or have to pay. I even forget the amount of my kids’ tuition fees and my husband’s salary. Gosh!

  • Are you a good listener?

Ans: Yes, I am a good listener. I listen calmly and give my advice whenever anyone needs me.

  • Are you able to say no, even when it makes you unpopular?

Ans: I say no only if I am not able to do what’s been asked. Popularity is secondary for me.

  • What is the funniest rumour you have heard about yourself?

Ans: That I am going around with someone. Sounds too funny when one is happily married with two kids!

Thanks a lot, Geet for this interesting questionnaire. I loved answering it. It was fun recollecting a few memories.


To begin with, kudos to Charlie Bhai for engaging us in such an interesting quest. The moment I read his text in WhatsApp, the first thing that I was reminded of was ‘slam books’ that we used to have during our schools days.

I thank Deepa Karthik for taking out her time and framing such thought-provoking set of questions. I will answer them as honestly as possible.

So here it goes,…

  • Have you felt stuck in life?

Ans. Yes, I have felt stuck. Last year while appearing for 1st-semester exams of LLB, I had a really tough time. Legal terminology and theories came raining down on me and I went bonkers. It took me quite some while and now I have a rather clear picture in front of me regarding the course.

  • If you were given a power for a day, what would you like to do with it?

Ans. I would love to possess any superpower given for a day. I will utilise it to the fullest, without exactly harming anyone.

  • How are you inside and out? Is your outer appearance the same that you are inside?

Ans. I am the same person both inside and out. My perceptions, emotions and thoughts get reflected easily while interacting with people and dealing with various situations around me.

  • Are you open to questions or do you hold back?

Ans. I am open to questions in general but I hold back while answering questions regarding private family matters.

  • Which emotion or character best describes you?

Ans. In my opinion, the fictional character of ‘Lucy Pevensie’, from The Chronicles of Narnia series best describes me. I am very fond of The Chronicles of Narnia series. Lucy is the youngest amongst her siblings and so am I. Each time I watch the movie or read the book, I visualise Susan Pevensie as my elder sister and myself as Lucy Pevensie.

  • Do you judge people? If yes, how?

Ans. Yes, sometimes I judge people. But I have my own explanation for it. There are certain situations where I tend to judge people: Many a time people comment on a road accident blaming ‘girls’ being incapable to ride or in news debates regarding some sensitive issues when people give biased comments or accuse the innocent for political interests.

  • Apart from being a writer, what other talents reside in you?

Ans. Well apart from being a writer, I love to cook, I make sketches, I love spending hours making art and crafts, I am an ardent music lover and I can sing too. I was in the school choir from std vi – x.

  • Do you have any regrets that you miss something in your life?

Ans. In my opinion, no matter how hard we try, something or the other happily slips away through our fingers. I have no regrets in my life. I believe God has blessed me more than I deserve. I am reminded of the famous hymn “more than I deserve” by Paul Baloche.

Oh what a gift You gave, oh what a price You paid
More than I deserve, more than I deserve
Your constant faithfulness, Your every promise is
More than I deserve, more than I deserve”

  • When life gives you lemon make lemonade.. Is there any situation you made the best of it in your life?

Ans. Life gives me lemon every now and then. I am no less why to make lemonade every time. I too make lemon fudge cake, lime tart, sweet lime soda, and refreshing summer mojito. Jokes apart, I handle every tough situation prayerfully. And by God’s grace, even worst situations have turned in my favour. Bible says, Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances”.

  • A six-word story about you…

Ans. I may not be the best, but I am certainly not like the rest!


We are never completely aware of who we are but answering questions like these definitely help us think about ourselves and get to know ourself a little more.

Preeta’s Questionnaire:

1. Do you have any phobia? If yes, how do you handle it?

I don’t know if this is considered to be a phobia, but I’m scared that some nights when I’m all alone, I might just sit and overthink everything around, overthink to such an extent that I ruin my mental peace even when everything around is fine.

On such days, I just want my mind to be stable and for this, I either go on a walk with headphones on or call up a friend.


2. Your​ two best friends had a feud. You know the other one is wrong, but she is emotionally weak. How will you tell her?

I’d rather see my friend cry and yell than let her do something wrong. I’ll tell her the truth and make her realise her mistakes. Then sit beside her, get her an ice-cream or whatever she likes and do everything possible to cheer her up.

I’m not saying something to her to demean her, and I know it’s going to hurt her at that moment but I’m going to stand beside her and until she grows stronger out of it.


3. What is your definition of a perfect weekend?

I’d either love to make a random plan and go out and do something adventurous like trekking, rappelling etc. or probably just get a warm cup of tea and snuggle in my bed.


4. Who has/have influenced you in your life?

That person who loved me irrespective of however rude or arrogant I was to her sometimes. That person who believed in my dreams more than me. That person who stood by me through every thick and thin. My mother is my strongest pillar of support.


5. Which will you prefer: Easy-quick-money or hard earned money?

I don’t know how this works. All I know is I want to do a job that I am satisfied with and I can support my family.


6. Life is now, don’t wait for the future. Do you live it this way?

Honestly, that’s not possible every time but yes, I definitely try and make most of my day and do not give a second thought about doing things that make me happy.


7. Physical appearance is temporary, the looks you have today won’t be there tomorrow. Knowing this, do you wish to change any one thing about your physical attributes? Why?

Sometimes I do feel a little low about not looking as pretty as someone else which eventually leads to a lack of confidence in me. Yes, physical appearance is temporary and everything is going to fade away someday but it’s also okay to work on yourself if that makes ‘you’ happy and for someone else. I want to gain a little weight because I’m way too skinny.


8. What would be the first thing you would do if you fear Doomsday is just around the corner?

I think I’d just sit and laugh. Laugh around people I love and make them laugh. Spend all my time with them and make sure they are happy in that very moment. I think seeing your loved ones happy is the most satisfying scene.


9. What the craziest thing you want to do?

Well, I want to build a treehouse. Get old with my partner and settle in there until we both take our last breath. I wish I could make this possible, I wish we could all get back to the stone age and live in the woods. Without any judgements or stereotypes.


10. Which quality of yourself​ do you think can make you sail through in any situation?

The spark that keeps this fire of life alive in me. Whatever your age is, if you haven’t been through tough times and you do not have anything to look back to in your 60s then you haven’t grown at all. Positivity is the key to handling any situation. Nobody is going to have a happy day every day. It’s the ups and downs of the life that make it adventurous and worth living for. Otherwise, life would just be a monotonous daily routine.

Thank you Preeta for some intense questions and also thank you Chiradeep sir for hosting a self-exploration session. It definitely made me think of what exactly I’d be doing in various situations and also helped me dig deeper into my own self.


Ohk, so here I am sitting on a comfortable chair in my home and somewhere is Prerna Aditi, hopefully sitting in her comfy chair in her home as we conduct this one on one interview. Yeah, I know I am taking the liberty to feel like a celebrity, but then again, why not, I have always loved watching Koffee With Karan.

Jokes apart this quest to know each a little better is one step further we have taken in the Candles Family to bond and feel connected. I appreciate and thank Prerna Aditi for taking the time to make this questionnaire and now let me answer them as honestly as I can.

Prerna Aditi’s Questionnaire:

1. What is the first thing you want to see when you wake up every morning?

Ans: It has been my habit to make sure the people I love are alright first thing in the morning. I take a look at my mother to see if she is okay and if she slept well in the night. The next thing I do is to check my Whatsapp, which tells me all my near and dear ones are alright too. When my beloved father was alive, I used to call his cell phone and ask him if he is okay. I sometimes still forget he isn’t around and call his number.

2. What annoys you the most?

Ans: I think I am a short-tempered and temperamental person, so it takes very little to set me off. I have got hardly any resistance to indecent and bawdy people. I get annoyed if someone bugs me or gets into my personal space. And last but not the least I can’t stand unintelligent people. Don’t take me wrong here, I don’t mean I can’t stand a child or a distressed person or even a sick person, but someone who just isn’t ready to broaden up their minds and be more open to possibilities.

3. Do you fear of being judged or ignored?

Ans: Yes, I used to live like that all the time a little while ago. I was scared of saying ‘NO’ and had perpetual anxiety that people would move out of my life if I don’t agree with them. I didn’t want society to judge me based on my decisions and actions and henceforth always felt suffocated and caged. But then I realised I will only live once so better I start living the life I want and stop caring what people expect of me. Those who have to move out will leave me come what may, no matter how much emotions and energies I pour in them and those who wanna judge me will do so regardless of my intentions. To put it more simply, those who are worth it won’t judge, and those who judge aren’t worth the effort. It feels good to have no weight on my wings, makes my flight much more fun.

4. How to keep ourselves calm even in an extreme situation?

Ans: Haha, I don’t think I am the right candidate for this particular question but let me give it a try. I am the first one to lose my cool in extreme situation, and my mother is the one who steers the ship clear of the storms. But one thing that I have learned from my experiences and that has made me much more stable in crisis is the naked truth that in the end, everything gets alright. There should be a certain level of detachment needed to deal with radical times, be it good or bad. Today you are happy, then dance but don’t forget this too shall pass. Today if you are sad, then cry but don’t forget that this too shall pass.

Just remember this thing won’t stay forever and keep one step in front of the other, take one day at a time. Just like climbing uphill, don’t see the peak, but just keep moving. It won’t lessen the struggle but would give you the patience and perseverance to make it to the top. At this point, I can’t help but quote this…

“If you can’t fly then run if you can’t run then walk if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Martin Luther King Jr.

5. Have you experienced the best day of your life?

Ans: I would say Yes and No. I don’t believe I was supposed to have just one best day, I think I can have several. So I guess I have surely lived some best days while some are still waiting for me. One such day was spent at Fisherman’s Cove’s in Chennai with my parents, walking on the beach and collecting shells, drinking coconut water and feeling the sand slip from under my feet as my father beamed at me. Another best day was when I stood in a shower of rain that was summoned by me and got drenched to my skin as my mother made tea in the stove of our cottage in Kasauli. One such day was spent in a treehouse in a coffee estate of Ooty with someone extraordinary, but I woke up and realised it was just my dream. I want more such best days with my future family.

6. What’s the best according to you- school life or college life?

Ans: I think my school life was better indeed. I had great teachers who loved me, I had great friends who came to my home after school to study and play, and I loved my school. The best thing about school was the childhood that would never ever come back. Those sleepovers, those stage practices and those debates, they are missed to date. The shared tiffin box never tasted that good ever again, the water was never so fresh and sweet as from a borrowed water bottle. There was no greater stress than coming exams and no more significant sorrow than not being able to answer the last two questions. Things were simple, logic was straightforward, and the world seemed like a safe place.

7. Which one’s better- a reserved and introvert person or an amicable
and carefree person?

Ans: That is a tough one. Haha, life is easy for those who are carefree and amicable. They handle stress much better and take tough things in their stride. They know how to swallow some unpleasantness with a pinch of salt, and that is one thing that plays a big part in keeping you happy. For better or for worse I am just the opposite. I am the reserved introvert you mentioned in your question which has been trying hard to break out of her shell. It’s not easy being like that as people take you wrong and consider you as a snob and arrogant person. Very rare view try to put in the effort to know you better and crack you open. But then we have upsides too, once you get to know us, you will realise we are fun and witty and love to interact. People like me take some time to open up, but once we get comfortable, we are there to have your back throughout.

8. How do you handle rejection?

Ans: I have no problem facing rejection. I wasn’t born with a Right To Acceptance. I will be put down and rejected but the thing to remember is that does not make me, or whatever of mine has been rejected worthless. Fine, this was not my day, I will have another day. This was not my chance, I will have a better chance. God has something better in store for me, or maybe it is just simply as I put it “Their Loss”. Great ideas of great men have been rejected by the most unenlightened, but no one can stop greatness.

9. Did failure ever break your spirit?

Ans: Yes, this happens to me almost every day. I am an aspiring writer, and I am working on writing a book. For the last many months I have been facing the worst kind of writer’s block. I have tried all things, all methods to get the muse back, to get back into the groove and it’s just not happening. I hate myself when I sit in front of my PC and look at the blank screen and have no ideas to pour life into my characters. When I think about it, I feel broken and question my credibility as a writer. Do I have it in me? Can I make it to someone’s bookshelf? My spirit knows the answer is “Yes” but it can’t figure out how yet.

10. Did you ever feel giving up?

Ans: Your tough questions are making me feel like giving up right now. Just kidding! Yes, as I answered in the 9th question, I question my abilities every day and there is this urge to give up on my dream. But this dream has grown on me and taken hold of me so forcefully that I have nurtured it in my heart like my blood and flesh child. I just can’t afford to give up on it. I am lucky to have a handful of people who believe in me more than I believe in myself and they keep me motivated and confident. They keep pushing me and then comes the fear to disappoint them, and the desire to give up now, before I am called a complete failure is even stronger. And that is the time that I go back and read something I wrote and get awed by the beauty of it like a mother looks at her baby, and wonder how was she able to create someone so unique, so beautiful and I decide to give myself one more chance. One more opportunity every single day until that one day when I finish my first draft.