SETTLING DOWN WITH P4

Transitions are inevitable in life. And I actually love to go through them, experiencing new flavours in life. I am not a person who enjoys routine. I always have enjoyed something new in life. But when these transitions are difficult and painful, I definitely look for quick restoration from them.

Deciding to leave Kolkata this year was as historical and important in my life as deciding to live there in the year 2001. Everyone was as shocked as me when they or even I realized I am back in my native place.

Cuttack, my native place is way different now than how it was 20 years back. I was not unaware of it as every year I used to visit home but I was unaware of the feeling to be here for a lifetime, living after a long gap. It took almost 3 months to adjust to the conditions of my native place, my home. But while settling down I got sick with a disease that was very painful. I had never endured so much physical pain even for my cardiac issues. Recovering from it was what I wanted so desperately almost 30 days before.

Exactly 30 days before I was invited by my former boss (who is my uncle as well) to teach Accounts and Accountability in one of the training programs of the organization where I was working a few months ago. The training was in Bhubaneswar. I had to travel 30 odd kilometres from Cuttack to Bhubaneswar for the same. I made necessary arrangements for the day and sat down to prepare my presentation as well as the materials that I wanted to hand over to the participants. During that time, I still had the pain but you won’t believe as I started preparing for the training, I felt better.

The day came and I taught what I was supposed to teach. I came back in the evening and thanked God for the opportunity and grace that He provided for the whole day. I was kind of feeling bored of my new life after suffering for two months here. But after that training program, I started to feel better and better each passing day. As I look back now, I feel so relieved that I don’t endure that pain anymore.

But, in the following days, I sat down and started listing out, what I have to do and what I have to leave permanently. We do get easily carried away with things around us and forget to prioritize between the most important with the lesser important ones. Eventually, I had to cut off a lot of things that I love to do against achieving the most important ones in life.

I arrived at FOUR goals. Lovingly, I call them P4, after a lot of Planning and Praying during the last one month’s time. And I am going to share them with you as under:

  • PEOPLE: I have always said, that I am a people person. I love crowds; being with them as well as interacting with them. But I have to have certain DO’s and DON’T’s while being with people. I made it a point that I won’t be in a place where I am not contributing to the core needs of people around me. For example, if I have to be on Facebook or Instagram for people and connect to them, then I have to make sure I am contributing to their lives, their needs. If I am not seeing the opportunity to add value to their lives then I must take a step back. So, I will be focussing on teaching, counseling, and listening to people instead of doing anything else catering to my own needs.    
  • PUBLISH: I have a lot of things to publish for the same reason – People. Motivating and inspiring them through my articles and poems, which I have been doing it past many years. But I need to grow from just writing as a blogger to becoming a published author. Not that I want to have a name but I want to inspire and motivate people in a better way by publishing my books. I have been procrastinating on this matter for such a long time, but not anymore. I will have to do it very soon.
  • PROCLAMATION: What I proclaim through my words and deeds is my identity and who I am today. I proclaim God’s eternal love through my saviour Jesus Christ. If I can’t love people as they are and in the way God loves them, then my life is futile. This is an integral part of who the person Chiradeep is. And without this proclamation, I am null and void. So, I will be striving all the more to proclaim God’s love to the people I connect with, whether in person or on virtual platforms.
  • PROFESSION: It is really not very important for me unlike how the world is so crazy about their profession. But. ‘What do you do?’ If I ever need to answer this question instead of looking at the questioner blank, I should be sure of what my profession is. So now, I made up my mind to fix this and can say my profession is writing and translating (of course with my terms).   

Trust me, I am truly very happy for the past 30 days of my life, trying to be more focused on what I should be doing as I settle down with my P4.  

Friends, I would suggest, don’t be biased and totter here to there. Focus on your strengths and talents and know, how God wants to use you. Plan it out, prayerfully and settle down as I did.

Stay Blessed!

THE ’90S ROCKED!

If someone was to lead me to a time machine and say;

“One way trip to the 90’s”

I’d probably be the first one to hop on-oh yes! Even if it meant going back to school and studying from those thick textbooks and surfing the web/internet cost Rs.30/- hour in a cyber cafe.

Writing about the ’90s can never be contained into a post or even 1000 words, so I’ll make my post a little different today. Coz sometimes, a picture can bring back a whole lot of memories than words can ever do.

If a smile appears on your face to even 50% of going through this post, you’d probably know how much it meant to have lived in that phase of life. Children of today would never have that wonderful opportunity.

It’s weird to think that once we actually had to wait centuries for an Internet connection. Remember this gorgeous noise? That’s the sound of patience, dwindling and dying 🙂

… and connected

There was a time when computers had an A Drive (A:) and we used floppy disks 

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They came in different colors..they bring fond memories. I can’t even begin to imagine the games we used to save on them, 2 small games maximum on 1 floppy. A big game would need 4 floppies and then you’d have to merge them together. And to think a normal 3½ inch floppy disk could store only 1.44 megabytes of data

Phone Landlines where you HAD to pick up every call & not choose which call to ignore or not. If u owned a cordless phone, u were way tooooo cool. Acquiring phone no’s of your crush and miscalling them on the landline just to hear their voice – priceless!

F.L.A.M.E.S – predicting our love life. Anytime better than the FB quizzes that we do. We’ve all tried it out. What are the odds of it working out?

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We read and re-read Tinkles and Archies comics. We all loved Betty over Veronica and we all wanted to be like Archie. Suppandi’s jokes made us laugh. Shikari Shambu, Kalia the crow and Tantri the Mantri were some of Tinkle’s epic characters.

Shikari Shambhu is now an animal conservationist | ThePrint

Super Mario, Dave, Alladin, Prince of Persia, and Roadrash. They were not just games, it was pure happiness 

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dave

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One of my favorite movies of the ’90s had to be the’ Titanic’. Let me go ahead and say it, we all watched the movie for different purposes: Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, the painting, the foggy car, the sinking, etc

Jack was a professional painter and we were professional viewers.

But in the end, we can all agree that there was SO enough space on that raft, Rose. You and Jack could still be alive now.

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Some things I’d never understand

 Instead, we were left with a grief that will never fade.

Having relatives staying abroad and coming down for holidays meant foreign chocolates, and that, in turn, meant TOBLERONE

How could I end this post by not mentioning ‘pop music that made its entry in the 90’s – rap of course was a rage back then, ‘Apache Indian’ killed it!

The cake with the cherry go-top however goes to some of the most innovative Indian advertisements which aired on television, there were many favorites, but if I have to choose one, it would be:

…and while this particular advertisement has made it back on television screens in India, the emotion one felt back then was special, a time when Cricket, Chocolate, and a pretty girl’s smile were sometimes all we needed to have a good day.

27 yrs have passed in the blink of an eye. We’re still the same 90s kids at heart, pining for these simpler times.

APPS APPS EVERYWHERE!

If you’re going to be reading this post on WordPress, I can bet 9/10 of you – you’re doing it from your WordPress app on your phone. That is the thing about apps, it has made life so convenient wherein – just a few taps here and there on your screen and you’re connected to anything – anywhere – anytime!

…and then there’s ME. Am I the only one who prefers the website version over its app? I’ve always preferred the bigger screen if given the option, but with people on the move and multi-tasking being a normal thing – phone apps have brought in a fresh sense of convenience to one’s life, not to mention everything now is literally at our fingertips.

From being entertained (Youtube) to knowing the time (Clock), having trouble counting? There’s always a calculator or even using the flashlight – it’s all on one gadget, in the form of an app. Easy, convenient, and at your fingertips – just the way the young people of today like it. That said, I too belong to that set of people who like doing things in one place or having various features on one gadget. A dream come true!

a couple of screen taps and you can have pizza delivered to your doorstep, 2 more taps on it and money is sent across distances. Groceries, Vegetables, and even a date/marriage partner can be simply found on an app

While we’re still talking about apps, we all have our favorites among the dozens we have installed on our phones. Do you find yourself going back to that app again and again when you’re well…. bored?

Let me take you into some of the apps I have on my phone….

From OTT platforms of Netflix, Zee5, & Hotstar, there are more useful apps of Quora, WordWeb, Wordpess, Wattpad, & Kindle to gaming apps like Scrabble, Ludo, Uno, Candy Crush, Coin Master, & Real Cricket, to the more fancy apps like Clubhouse and of course the more necessary social apps of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, & Whatsapp. Music apps are a must for me-that are looked after by Gaana & Radio Garden along with Youtube. Google Pay and Paytm round up the apps looking after online money transactions… and a few more

That’s a minimum of 23/25 apps on a gadget, I charge once/twice a day and probably use 10% of the apps I’ve actually installed on it. So much of using my SmartPhone, smartly.

While I do think that all these apps have some use to me at some time or the other in my life – when I’m stressed out or just need some ‘me time’, I find myself (more times than not) on the Ludo app. Yes! Remember the Ludo game? I don’t particularly fancy that game, but it is my way of ending a tiring day or destressing my mind, on a simple game, that does not require too much thinking. That said a good e-book would do the same.

So while I personally might not have a favorite app that I would always turn to – I have a range of a few to keep me distracted into a fictional world, which importantly keeps me away from the daily life drama that happens on a daily basis. Nothing beats learning from the app, or at best you are still learning how to use the app if nothing else – that is still learning, the knowledge that no one can take from you. After all, life is all about learning – that will never stop.

I had this once weird dream that people everywhere, on the street, in offices, at home, were a whole bunch of QR codes, and the only way we had access to them was if we scanned them. Once we did that, we would link to them. I would have loved to have seen how that dream ended, but like everything in my life, most things are attractive incomplete trailers.

Imagine if something like that is in store for the future? Something to think about maybe?

My Name is Savio AND I am not an APP

I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP ON MY GOALS

Well, it has been a long time since I wanted to be a famous writer. Yes, I have a few 100 blogs, a published book, couple of other published stories – but I am far from where I imagined myself to be at this age. Is that bad that I couldn’t make it? No, I won’t judge myself. There have been reasons and there have been responsibilities that kept me from focusing on my goals.

When I was in my 20’s, I used to maintain a document wherein every year end I would write down what all I achieved in the last year and what are my goals for the next year. Then I would break them into monthly goals and plan on how to achieve them. I haven’t done this since last 8-10 years at least. I didn’t have the time or the energy to put in so much effort towards my personal goals. I just let life happen to me.

With the responsibilities of parents, a child, running the house, getting that promotion, meeting those impossible deadlines; I forgot to keep track of how many books I want to read, how many kgs I want to shed, how many stories I want to write, how many dance performances I want to do, how many paintings I want to make. It all takes a backseat.

Recently, I went through a serious bout of depression. It was only because one fine day I woke up and after some petty arguments with my family members, I realized that I am not myself anymore. I have become this subdued person who is ready to take any sort of nonsense from others just to keep peace at home. And when I thought about my own goals, there were none – absolutely zero. It was a huge setback to me to realize that I have come so far in life to discover that there is nothing that I have for myself.

That realization woke me up, as if I was in some dream world – and just got aware of some of the harsh realities. And now when I wanted to have my own goals and start working on them, I realized that I had no confidence at all. I couldn’t think straight and I didn’t trust my talents anymore. I cried, I blamed myself and everybody around me, I fought with myself and my husband, I got nightmares and woke up sweating on my bed, I got really anxious and had palpitations as if my life is over and it was a complete waste.

And finally my husband said, if you know that you are overthinking everything – then force yourself to take an action. After arguing with him for hours together, I did take an action; it was a simple action to just go for shopping for myself at 9 pm in Dehradun (the city sleeps before 9). That action led to something else and a chain reaction took over me. I started taking actions one after the other. That helped me build myself again.

I am not there yet. I am not as confident as I used to be. I am still not sure what my personal goals are, where do I want to land up a few years from now. But I know that even though my goals might change, I might not resonate with them now – I need to have them always. I cannot afford give up on my own goals in life – no matter what kind of responsibilities I am loaded with at work and at home.

I knew this at some level of conscience, still I ignored this aspect of life for almost a decade. And now it feels like I have to build myself up from scratch. I hope my readers find some inspiration in this article and never make this mistake in life.

AM I RESTING OR BEING LAZY?

The statement, “if we take a day off, the world will not stop turning on its axis” suits perfectly for those who work day and night and are sincere to the tasks they are assigned to. But for those who are lazy, this statement is nothing but an excuse only.

An article on Psychology Today says, “A person is being lazy if he is able to carry out some activity that he ought to carry out, but is disinclined to do so because of the effort involved. Instead, he carries out the activity perfunctorily; or engages in some other, less strenuous or less boring activity; or remains idle. In short, he is being lazy if his motivation to spare himself effort trumps his motivation to do the right or expected thing.”

The Lazy Me:

Looking at my life, I found areas where I have been lazy in the name of resting. Procrastination being my favourite word in life, I kept postponing that are important and do what are easier and pleasurable to do. That’s the very meaning of Procrastination – “an act of delaying or putting off tasks until the last minute, or past their deadline“. I am working on those areas to discipline myself on a day to day basis.

Rajnandini continues to poke me about the book I have been longing to publish for over a year or so. We decided on the title of the book and the content of the book even yet, I am procrastinating or being lazy to do the selection of articles and rewriting them. Usually, I work hard as the deadline come closer and finish it. But in this case, there’s no deadline so I am all the more lazy about it.

My spiritual father, Dr. Rev. Niranjan James asked me to make a routine of what I have to do and what I have to accomplish in a day’s time. He also told me to “forgive all my past failures, forget all my past successes and start afresh“.

The Busy Me:

I have always tried to follow the Bible verse which says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom“, I have mentioned about it many times. My focus has always been on the first part of the verse; I have tried to do everything that my hands have found to do and I was blessed. But today, I was trying to think about the last part of the verse which says, when we are dead we won’t be able to WORK, PLAN and ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE as well as GAIN WISDOM. So those who are not lazy they don’t take rest for granted but they rest for regaining their strength to work, plan, acquire knowledge and gain wisdom. Whereas, those who are lazy they continue to excuse themselves away from working, planning and acquiring knowledge.

I believe God has given us different talents, assigned us tasks and brought many people in our lives for a special purpose. Unless we rest our body, mind and soul in God and understand the call, we will be running errands like all others, participating in the rat race without a specific aim in life. It will never be fulfilling, trust me.

Resting Vs. Laziness

We need to know that God gives importance to Rest which we see in the Bible. In the beginning, God was busy creating for six days; then He rested. He rested not because He was tired but He wanted to set an example for the mankind to follow. When we don’t take rest, we disobey as it was a command to rest. The Ten Commandments mentioned in the Bible declares the seventh day of the week or the Saturday as Sabbath or a day of rest to be observed religiously without failure. It was a law. The command to rest was not an excuse to be lazy but to get to the Sabbath there’s six days of hard work before it. And there’re six more days of hard labour following the rest day. Thus, rest is a state which prepares an individual for future activities and our efficiency.

But what about laziness?

The Bible says, “The way of the lazy man is like a hedge of thorns”. Laziness leads to devastation (poverty). Rest is restorative; laziness drains energy. Sometimes we think we are resting when in reality we are draining our energy. Let’s not confuse rest with the excuses of a lazy person. That’s why the Bible warns us again and again about laziness.

Where I stand today, – a man busy with a lot of ideas for the Lord in heaven and the fellow beings around me? Am I working on all those ideas day and night with proper rests in between or I am procrastinating and lazing, thinking there’s still time? Am I making the most of every opportunity, knowing the days are evil or taking the word rest as an excuse and for granted?

I am working on it? Are you?

Stay blessed!!!

(Understand REST by clicking HERE)

BANE OR BOON

I sit, and I type
Byte by Byte
My processor is slow
I got nothing to show

My memory is full
I’m trying to pull
Motherboard is outdated
All content is R rated

I empty Drive D
But all I can see
Are files I don’t need
It’s slowing my speed

My head has no space.
Says my Database
I look for the source code
to share some of the load

My heart is a brute
I have to reboot
I run such a risk
of burning my disc

I am run over by Malware.
I wish someone would care
Please unzip my smiles
Add happy chip to my files

If life had a solution
like screen resolution
Just change some setting
and see what you’re getting

I search, and I browse
For my perfect spouse
But this firewall
I should uninstall

The bugs are still here.
The cookies gimme scare
And Captcha onslaught
prove I’m no robot

I need my domain
Plus unique username
A name to standout
on Insta and Hangout

View live in the Zoom
And Friends in chatroom
All smileys no smile
Can’t open this file

Turn to PDF to DOC
And close that CAPSLOCK
No emotions are spared
By emoticon software

This new virtual land
of bandwidth broadband
I wait and watch while life is buffering
Can’t say if its fun or am I suffering

HONESTY CAN STAND ONLY ON THE PEDESTAL OF COURAGE

The question put to me today is ‘Do I have the courage to be honest?”

Oh not at all! I am the wrong person to kick start the week about ‘courage to be honest’. See, the thing is that I from my very childhood have been a people pleaser. I mean it mattered a lot to me to what others think about me. I have gone to great lengths to avoid conflict, to not rock the boat. Overlooked a lot many things to avoid argument. 

But over the years I have realized that going along with other’s plans even when we don’t agree with it usually back fires on us. Keeping quite at the start to avoid a conflict eventually leads us into a bigger mess.

For a long time, I have been part of the cultural committee which plans all big celebrations in our society. There have been times when a deco idea or dance idea doesn’t feel right but we still go ahead with it because the person who is suggesting it is very enthusiastic and we don’t want to break their heart. But then eventually when on the D Day there is a debacle or things don’t work out the whole team is blamed, we all become the fall guys. At that moment I realized that its better to be brutally honest right at the start.

Imagine you are in a meeting and your boss suggests an idea. You think it’s an absolutely bogus idea. Do you have the guts to say that to your boss? I have gone along with ideas suggested by my seniors or super seniors which I didn’t really like. And the end result is that if things don’t work out it’s the team which takes the beating and the senior gets away scot free. Why? Because we agreed with it. 

So in my personal opinion in the long run its better to be honest and tell the person why we thing that what he or she is suggesting wont work. I still don’t do it with brutal honesty. I put it forward with a little diplomacy but hey… I am trying…

What happens if your being honest could have an adverse effect on you or your work? Do you still have the courage to be honest? 

Here I will give you an example of my husband. He owns a start up company. Now imagine the scenario. Their company really needed a certification from a government organization. He applied for it and after the due process he was called to the office to collect the letter. The guy in charge said the letter is ready you may take it and also hinted that he was excepting an X amount as bribe… The bribe amount was not very huge and the value of that letter to the company was much greater. My hubby returned the letter to him and said that he will not pay a single paisa and walked out of the room. I can only imagine the dumbfounded expressions on the officer’s face. Not that’s courage to be honest. He put a lot of future contracts in line by refusing to pay but he didn’t regret it.

Eventually that courage paid off, our company did get that letter eventually and we benefitted from that also.

So I guess being honest and pointing out something wrong does feel like a negative thing to do at that time but in the long run it is better for our own sanity, our work and our relationships. And I feel when it comes to honesty, courage is required by both the teller and the listener.