RESTRICTIONS – BENEFICIAL OR DETRIMENTAL?

Early one morning a few days back, I got frantic messages on my phone from the mother of a ten-year-old girl. The issue in hand was that the little one who suffers from Celiac disease had gobbled up a whole big packet of wheat biscuits and two packets of cake the night before!

Those of you who do not know what Celiac disease is may just laugh out loud on the gluttony of the little girl. However, binge-eating is not the issue here. People with Celiac are gluten allergic. So they need to refrain from consuming those foodstuffs containing gluten, wheat being the chief gluten consisting ingredient. Consequently, the range of food items is much-restricted for them.

After painstakingly preparing all delicacies with gluten-free ingredients every day over and above the family’s normal menu and ensuring that her daughter doesn’t miss out on anything, the mother was understandably aghast at her daughter’s doing. And, what did the little one have to say about it all?

Mummy, I was so frustrated being tied down to dietary constraints for the last ten years, that I just thought to flout them and see what it is like to be able to eat normal food which everyone else eats!!

The explanation was, of course, no consolation to the mother who was desperately praying that allergic reactions should not surface!

Ask diabetics how easily they adhere to sweet and carbs restrictions, and there’ll be endless stories for you to savour!

Restrictions limit us from doing what we so feel to do, but should not/are not allowed to do for certain purposes.

I categorise restrictions into the following types –

The first category of restrictions that come to mind is the restrictions put in place by the Divine Lawmaker. The moral laws of the Divine Lawmaker are universal and absolute – with no space for relativism and slackness whatsoever. That is why making light of such restrictions is called nothing else, but sin.

You shall not steal.

You shall not covet others belongings.

You shall not kill.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not look at a woman/ man with a heart of lust.

You shall not dishonour or take the name of God in vain.

These are few of the many restrictions put in place for us humans by the Divine Lawmaker. Let me present the above-mentioned restrictions in reverse order. It would read somewhat like this –

You are free to steal.

You are free to covet and usurp other’s belongings.

You are free to kill.

You are free to be in an adulterous relationship.

You are free to lust after a woman/ man.

You are free to dishonour and take the name of God as frivolously as you feel to.

How do these sound?

Imagine a world with freedoms as the above!

The restrictions which God has put in place for mankind do not serve the purpose of portraying Him as an authoritarian theocrat but are wise prescriptions for peace and order among human beings on earth. The chaos we see all around in the world today is the result of careless disobedience, lack of adherence and deliberate non-cognizance of the divine restrictions.

The second broad category of restrictions is societal restrictions by the country/ society/ family. In the year 1999, Odisha (an east Indian state) was struck with a devastating super cyclone, the after-effects of which echo in some parts of the state even to this day. The casualties were very high, not to mention the loss of property. However, the state did not fail to learn its lesson from this heavy blow. Many cyclones have struck the state ever since, but with negligible human casualties, the reason being, the stringent imposition of restrictions by the administration – fishermen being debarred from venturing into the seas, timely evacuation of the inhabitants in low-lying areas, and many such well-thought-of restrictive measures.

Nevertheless, there are always a few people who resist these restrictions not wanting to leave their houses and livelihood for the sake of saving their lives. Imagine what would be the reality if these people were permitted to do as they wished without adhering to the restrictions!

Medical restrictions for people suffering from certain ailments, mobile phone usage restrictions during thunderstorms and lightning, lockdown movement restrictions, certain travel advisories comprise those in this category.

Ever been penalised for jumping red lights? A price to pay for making light of well-intended traffic restrictions!

The third category of restrictions that I can think of is self-imposed restrictions. These restrictions may or may not be aversive to the well-being of the individual and that of others. In his book My Experiments with Truth, Mahatma Gandhi writes of his self-imposed restriction arising from a firm conviction to abstain from consuming milk. Such a restrictive dietary regimen worked well for him to the end he wanted to achieve.

People switch to vegan or vegetarian diets, give up going to the theatre/ cinema, restrict themselves to wearing certain types of clothes only or restrict themselves from socialising with certain types of people. Such self-imposed restrictions are specific to specific people based on the life principles they wish to live by. Flouting these restrictions would result more in one’s own emotional and personal discomfort, rather than cause major repercussions for mankind at large.

The final category of restrictions is what I consider as forced restrictions. These are restrictions that are forced down the throats of people by significant others, with threats of dire consequences if flouted. One example that I can think of in the Indian context is caste restrictions. Though inter-caste mingling has seen a sea change over the years with many of the restrictions having been done away with (largely in urban areas), restrictions on inter-caste marriages persist invariably. These forced restrictions lead to loss of lives every other day in the name of honour killing – just because some young couple chose not to adhere to these restrictions that were forced on them by elders.

Certain families restrict women from holding jobs outside the house after marriage. In certain countries, women are restricted from venturing outdoors without a male accompanying them. In a certain country, women are prohibited from wearing make-up leading to a thriving smuggling industry for make-up products.

Forced restrictions, though not necessarily sinful are definitely detrimental for the mental health of individuals and pose threats to the development of a healthy society.

Whatever be the category of restrictions, if they are well-embraced by people they do not cause many inconveniences. However, if they give rise to rebellion, there remain consequences to bear.

What happened in the case of the little girl mentioned in the beginning of this article, was a slow build-up of a pressure cooker situation. When the pressure was too much for her reasoning and rebelling mind, the lid simply blew off making her do the unwanted irrespective of the consequences that lied ahead of her.

All we need is a prudent mind to discern which restrictions to adhere to and which restrictions to speak up/ go against hoping to bring out well-meaning progressive changes in the society and the in the world at large.

SNIP SAFELY

When I was in the last year of school, my school introduced a new subject called Environmental Science for all students Grade II and above. We 10th graders heaved a sigh of relief that we had narrowly escaped the burden of an additional subject! Thinking of it today, I feel sensitizing children about the environment is surely a wise step to help them behave responsibly and prudently as adults.

This week as I share ‘My Bit for the Environment’, I must admit that it is a tiny bit in the face of the enormous task in front of the whole world population – but would contribute to make a difference, nevertheless. I also wish to state that the practice I’m going to share is not my own ingenious bit. I had read up about it and have been on it ever since.

Plastics are a known menace to the environment by now. We see and hear campaigns and advertisements to avoid the usage of single-use plastics. Most of the shops in India (with just a random few exceptions) are no longer packing goods in polythene/ plastic carry bags as before and have switched over to biodegradable alternatives. This is a huge step, if the cumulative results are assessed.

But, there is one very easy step which each one of us can take inside our homes and elsewhere too when handling plastic packets – milk packets, noodles packets, biscuit packets, chips/ wafers packets, and such others. When opening these packets, we normally tear off or cut off a portion of the packets. What then happens is that these tiny portions become difficult to be segregated by the garbage collectors and ultimately get added up in the cattle/ animal fodder. Research on dead cows, goats, deer, and other free-moving animals has shown kilos of hazardous plastic bits stuck inside their intestines. Even if these small pieces are segregated to an extent, they cannot be recycled.

What can we do about it at our level?

When cutting open plastic packets, do not severe them into two. Just cut enough to open the packet, while the end remains attached. This way, when you dispose off the packets after emptying the eatables or any goods for that matter, you will be doing your bit in preventing the release of small plastic bits into the garbage load.

Image Source: Google

I have been practicing this act with intent since more than a year and would encourage all the readers to try making this simple hassle-free contribution to the purity of the environment a part of everyday routine.

The pristine environment was the best gift of God to mankind. With inevitable progress of civilizations, our environment feels choked now. Though environmental activists and policymakers have been working relentlessly to devise charters and protocols to save the environment, it is ultimately the responsibility of each one of us to do our bit for the environment. Laws, no matter how well framed they may be, fail if they are not obeyed to the letter and spirit.

Climate change is irreversible. (I’m not stating anything pessimistic, just putting a fact out without delving into statistics and research studies for the purpose of this article.) Having said so, I would go ahead to say that it is definitely within our control to slow the process of environmental decay in many ways.

Let’s do our bit for the environment!

 

MEANINGLESS! MEANINGLESS!

One day suddenly, I felt, life is meaningless and whatever I have achieved or doing have no meaning. Maybe, you feel the same as I am, at times. This can happen out of nowhere, for no apparent reason. But it is necessary to understand why and when it happens.

Meaninglessness in life or anything we do or in any situation we are in comes when we are unable to find value in our life or the things we do. It comes when we insignificant in this huge wide world. It comes when failure lives in our house as a permanent member.

I find, lack of THREE very important factors within us bring in the sense of meaninglessness. They are the short form of the word IMPORTANT – IMP.

Let’s get into IMP in details for clear understanding of the matter.

Lack of INTEREST: I find it funny when I hear everything a person says yet I fail to remember anything he said. The reading of the text or hearing the speech or the message directed towards me becomes meaningless when I don’t conceive it because of my lack of interest. When I don’t have the curiosity of knowing or understanding something, I lose to understand the very meaning of it as well.

Lack of MOTIVATION: I usually avoid leadership training or conferences these days. The reason why I avoid to attend those seminars is very simple… I find them meaningless when I don’t have the scope to implement what I learn theoretically in those seminars. The scope to apply what you learn gives you a motivation to do it. And I don’t have that motivation so I find it meaningless for me. I really love it, I have interest in those speeches and training modules. I understand the purpose behind, yet I don’t have the motivation behind it.

Sometimes, in life, when we lack motivation, we fail to understand how to lead it.

Lack of PURPOSE: Just imagine, if your children are going to schools or colleges with the sole purpose of  finding a good life partner then the whole concept of education becomes meaningless. When the purpose of what we are doing or for why we are living is not known or understood to us then we run errands meaninglessly and a time comes when we lose motivation and interest to do anything or find life meaningless to live out. The purpose of life is the foundation of living it meaningfully and without it, we perish. 

All the above THREE words or factors seem very similar to each other but they have different connotations if we study them carefully. Interest gives us the feeling to attempt something, Motivation helps us to move forward with the same that interests us and Purpose directs us to move forward in the right path to accomplish what we were motivated about. There is no ranking or order of these three factors, called IMP. They are all part of the same system which makes our life beautiful and meaningful whether it is something that we do in our day to day lives or we do something to cater to the needs of our mental faculties or it is about our spiritual matters.

There is one Bible verse which I always love to quote when to explain the topics concerning life. It reads,

The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

At times, when we struggle to find the meaning of our life, we need to sit down and meditate on God’s goodness and His ways of dealing with people. He works amazingly and mysteriously. The more we go deeper diving down into the matters of our soul and eternity, the more we will draw out, that are beautiful, mysterious and meaningful for us. That happens when we are wise enough to do.

But the question is who’s then wise or man of understanding? The Bible again says,

“The reverent fear of the Lord that is, worshiping Him and regarding Him as truly awesome is the beginning and the preeminent part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence];”  

When we acknowledge God in our life, we gain knowledge and become wise. And when we become wise and man of understanding we get to go deep down to comprehend the purpose of life, ultimately we find the meaning of life and living it to the fullest.

Stay Blessed!

PARENTING – NO KIDDING!

As a parent what is our constant wish and effort – nothing but to give the best to our children. Isn’t it? Be it the opportunities or the materialistic things at their disposal, we as parents never leave any stone unturned to provide our kids with nothing short of best even if we have to go an extra mile. That makes me ponder “Is providing of provisions enough to make us good parents?” Well in my quest I stumbled upon an example from the mythological story of Mahabharat:

Duryodhan (the eldest Kaurava), son of Dhritarashtra had everything at his disposal – loving parents, strength of 99 brothers, “Never Say No” best friend like Karna yet his greed led to his downfall and demise. Though his greed and jealousy were given flames by his ever conspiring maternal uncle Shakuni but it is an offshoot of Dhritarashtra’s failure as a good father. He always used his physical handicap as a trump card, as a camouflage to his insecurities that thrived against his own brother Pandu (father of Pandavas) and this very feeling made him to give in to every unjustified demand of his son. He thought the jewelled crown and the throne of Hastinapur rightfully belonged to his son and disruption of any sort will leave Duryodhan shattered and he never wanted that. He couldn’t see because of his physical disability but his insecurity piled up over the years decayed the truth in his heart, blinded his vision (morally) as he couldn’t see the harm his son is causing to the very roots of his own family in the disguise of snatching power, humiliating and even trying to kill his cousins (the pandavas). Had Drithraashtra intervened and took strong stand against the scrupulous ways and moral corruption of his son he could have prevented Kurukshetra war that saw innumerable deaths, wailing widows and orphans. But he always had crown and materialistic pleasures on his mind for his son because he thought that’s the only responsibility he had as a father. A perfect example of how providing materialistic world isn’t enough to be Good Parent.

This one character made me understand that there’s a difference between attachment and love. Attachment makes us to justify and act according to every unjustified demands of our kids lest our denial might upset them whereas love strive to work tirelessly for the evolution of a better human being and a great character. That’s some heavy philosophy, isn’t it?😊

Back to the present: With the family structures / set ups changing (disintegration of joint family systems into nuclear families), social dynamics changing so fast, the increasing distance between the parents and kids as to how they process thoughts and understand a particular situation parents have an uphill task of safeguarding their children from physical dangers, moral corrosion and emotional exploitation with an added responsibility of preparing them for life. What are we supposed to do then as a parent since parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual? What should be our parenting goals? Is preparing kids for competitions, making them do good in academics and extra curricular activities, giving them a comfortable cushion for a secured life ahead are characteristic traits of good parents? Well, I strongly believe that these are only perks. The foremost responsibility of a parent is to aid in character development of a child. If parents are successful in nurturing good human beings individually they are actually assisting in constructing a better society and pave way for a better environment for the country. To put it simple: parenting is about understanding and explaining the difference between literacy & education; price & value; right & wrong.

Face to Face with the current reality: Sadly incidents of cruelty, ghastly violence, atrocities are outnumbering gestures of kindness, love, compassion. And what is more horrific is that the young minds and souls are found on both ends – both perpetrators and receiving. For instance – in one incident that I came across on social media platform, a 15 year old autistic boy committed suicide because he was bullied so hard by his schoolmates that he found death as an easy escape. Both the culprit and the victims are kids only. In another incident in the Mumbai city of India it was found a school going students group (all aged between 13-14 years) were talking in an obnoxious manner in their group chats on WhatsApp, to be more precise they were talking about rape, one night stands, sex, making fun of homosexuality, tagging peers with tags like “gay”,”lesbian”. New (much talked about) to the list being the “Boys Lokcer Room” incident. That was horrendous. Where is our future heading? Who bores the responsibility for this? Schools as usual shrug off their shoulders and dust off responsibility. And to be honest not everything can be entrusted to someone else be it a person or an organisation (specifically in the times we are now experiencing where the teacher-student-school dynamics are not the same they used to be a decade or two back)

Parents time to think and act!! Perhaps time to reevaluate ourselves. Are we doing enough for our kids? Are we available to our kids when they need us? Are we listening to them? Are we aware of their exposures and exploitation? Are we setting good examples for them to follow? Before setting goals it is important to understand parenting isn’t JUST about Imposing rules and Supervision. It’s not just about telling kids “do this, don’t do that, sit there, don’t go there, don’t speak” and a long list of DOs and DON’Ts. Simply parenting isn’t a linear correlation formula. Also parenting isn’t about providing the comforts and luxuries (provision of basic needs is no more a parenting criteria sadly, we have surpassed that stage long ago). It’s a pretty complex web often comprising of simplest things. It’s about:

Inculcating the right values: Its the most tedious job of all. The paths of upright morals should be trend relentlessly to set a direction for them to follow the footsteps. Compassion, benevolence, trustworthiness and likes can never be taught by preaching only. You show, you sow and you reap, period!

Right kind of exposure: With the availability of world at the touch of a button or a click away our kids are highly vulnerable to the wrong influence. The different kind of applications and social media platforms have effectively targeted their audience and exploited their vulnerabilities. This situation demands parental intervention. Training of young minds with tools of moral stories (for young kids); history of great personalities who have contributed to the humanity and society, healthy conversations sharing own life experiences, constant to and fro communication with kids in the wake of understanding and addressing their fears, answering their doubts are few ways of providing the right exposure and limiting the unwanted ones. Praying together, eating together, doing household chores together too promote good communication flow. ** Take a cue from the past, remember how our grandparents used to tell us stories be it fairy tales, parables from epics, life accounts of great men and women and there’s no denial that they did leave a lasting impression on our minds** Since this generation is more at ease with technology, use the same for the right exploration. Parental guidance needed is not just passable condition

Building Strong individuals: The biggest hurdle in being a good parent is Our Fear! We are in constant fear that if we say no to our kids or if we tried to be strict with them they might get hurt, they will cry or worse being they might end up in depression. In few instances we also fear social embarrassment. “If we don’t oblige on something what would everyone think of us as parents” also impacts the way parents deal with their children That’s a big NO. By holding ourselves back from correcting them or by deflecting and acting / dancing to their tunes, whims and fancies we are not only spoiling them but creating an overtly sensitive brigade waiting to be released in the vast ocean of hostile world. And we all know life isn’t a bed of roses. Our children must be trained to accept “No”. In no way I am up for any kind of dictatorship but they must know that they can not boss us 😉 (one of my friends, a great woman who never ceases to motivate and inspire me shared this view with me. She is a mother of twins herself and doing a great job in bringing up her kids, we all call her SP fondly. If she is reading this she will know).

Disciplining and maintaining decorum: Every organisation and institution needs a set of rules to be run smoothly. So does a family. Without discipline in ways of life and thinking parenting is a penance without any fruit. It might be an algorithm of to do things during the day or a constructive manner of expressing the emotions or processing the same, discipline streamlines course of life.

What we have discussed so far are just touch and go pointers. Parenting is a humungous subject yet without any predetermined formulas or theories that fit into every individual case without modification. With every mind and soul beautifully different parenting is a thankless job which if done to the perfection will yield a healthy society to dwell in. And if handled inappropriately could prove to be fatal for numerous lives. This needs introspection..

 

LET YOUR SKIN GET THE BENEFITS OF FEASTING BY FASTING

Here begins another week with some fresh brews from Candles Online!!

It is always a good exercise for the brain to make space for new additions to the existing stockpile of vocabulary (applies to all languages). So, this week we’ll be sharing new English words or phrases or expressions that we (the team of writers) have come across in recent times. It’s a week of learning together as readers and as writers, as in all other weeks of course!

I came across this expression which was a lockdown to-do-suggestion for people (especially ladies) confined to the home space during these Covid-19 times.

Skin fasting

Yes, this is the expression I’m referring to. May be some of you know it already, but it was new for me the first time I came across it.

We normally associate fasting with food, especially for religious purposes across cultures and countries. So, I was intrigued by this expression ‘skin fasting’ and dug up a bit on it. Let me share what it means.

‘Skin fasting’ basically means leaving your skin natural with absolutely no make-up or skin care products on it for some time. No face packs, face masks, exfoliants, moisturizers,  sun screen lotions, Grandma’s beauty essentials or make ups!

What does one achieve by Skin fasting?

Skin fasting helps detoxify the skin and allows the skin to undergo a natural maintenance process sans all the skin care and make-up ‘essentials’ it has become dependent on overtime. It makes sense to allow the skin to breathe, after all don’t our nostrils ache for fresh air in the midst of air pollution! So does the skin.

Do not clog the pores of your skin by layers of chemical (or organic) beautifiers for a week (or more) as you spend time indoors (for those of you who actually are) and treat your skin to a week of skin fasting.

I believe it’ll help you know your health as well. Many times we mask our looks to appear presentable, but shut our ears to the calls of the body either to drink more water or to add some essential nutrients to our diet or even to give up some dietary inclusions.

Taking care of the skin that God has blessed us with is very important, rather than merely looking for ways to beautify it.

Let’s do it!

Let me know in the Comments section if you knew this expression already or it’s a new introduction for you as it has been for me (at least I’ll know how much or less à la mode I am) 🙂 

 

REEVALUATING WHILE LOCKED-DOWN

I have heard from my elders how they went into a situation like this, ‘Lockdown’ during the war against Pakistan and during the World Wars. But this time, it’s bit different. We don’t have to switch off the lights, stay hiding inside our rooms, stop looking outside popping our heads out through the window, wonder if the bombs fall on us and so on… But sometimes, we so underestimate the gravity and severity of a situation that we behave so funny and childish. When deaths are constantly rising every moment and  there are 100% chances of financial crash-down worldwide we are worrying about just a lockdown

It was so funny to see how people so quickly reacted when the announcement was made by our PM about a complete lockdown situation:

  • “How boring it will be staying at home for so long?”
  • “We can’t go out to meet our friends…”
  • “We have to do all the household works as maids won’t be available…”
  • “How will we spend our times all day?”
  • “I have planned to watch Netflix all day long…”
  • “It’s nothing more than imprisonment…”
  • “What will we eat? Same food again and again?”

All these we could update on our Facebook, Whatsapp and Instagram statuses, expressing our irritation and worries because we are still not hit by Covid19 directly. We are still on listening and reading the news mode. God forbid, once one of our family members gets infected, we will surely forget how to express or react. 

Am I out of these lot? No way… I am part of the same crowd who tends to get bored and irritated. Although my answer was different when someone asked me seeing me loitering outside my room, “Bored???”

I shook my head and said, “NO!! I am quite habituated with this lockdown situation from the very beginning of life.”

The person who asked me, understood what I meant and walked away acknowledging my response.

YET!!!

I was wondering – ‘What lockdown means to me?’

1. Retrieving what I have lost: Suddenly when I have a lot of time at my disposal, I was happily scrolling away the pages of Pinterest on my phone and I came across an image of a beautiful paper-art. I felt an urge rekindled to let my fingers create something similar to what I saw. I cursed myself for not foreseeing this situation and buy colours, brushes and marble papers for paper-arts and paintings. I remember, how much I used to paint and draw pictures when I was a student. I had lost everything with an excuse of being busy in life.

I have made up my mind, that I am going to retrieve everything that I have lost and this lockdown will help me to give a kick start till I live on this earth.

2. Recreating what I have left unfinished and undone: I am known as a motivator and a person who initiates. But sadly, I want to confess that I am not good at continuing things or finishing it. I started to write a book, I started to plan for studying a Biblical Counseling Course, paid for it as well… I started to plan for a music album… Urgh! I have kept everything pending, unfinished and undone.

I just pray, “God, give me that enthusiasm to recreate all that I have left unfinished and undone utilizing these period of lockdown”.

3. Reinstating what I have kept detached: Yesterday, my cousin sister requested me to give her time so that she can connect with four of our families to see, talk and pray with each other considering the situation we have been facing now. The time was fixed and we had little problem with network but finally we could gather to have a video chat with each other, laugh, smile and ultimately pray for all the people suffering around the globe. And in the night while on my bed, resting my head on the pillow I was thinking, “Why I am so detached with all? I am not a person like this… why I stay away from people for a year or so?”

Everyone knows how I build relationships. And that’s what I love to do – investing my time in people’s life. Even I was feeling so uncomfortable when I was passive about this favourite thing that I love to do… But I did start connecting with people again, building new relationships and restoring the older ones during this lockdown period.

Trust me, I am going to reinstate every friendship, relationship that I have kept myself detached from.

4. Rearranging what I have left messy: Indiscipline, distractions and waywardness bring down someone into utter chaos and mess. I allowed it somehow to be in a mess for last two or three years.

Reasons? I can’t explain.

I might justify my life being not as bad as others, not as much in the mess as others but my heart knows it should not be like this anyway.

Okay! So, I have a lot of time to repair, rearrange, reorganize my mess and bring it back on the track by re-surrendering myself in His divine care. Surrendering life to God doesn’t mean resting peacefully…but to rework all the more and strive for making my mess, mesmerizing.

5. Reprioritizing what I have ignored: God and the purpose He has in and through my life is my priority. I confess, I have kind of ignored it for last couple of years. I don’t want to give excuses by blaming my illness or life situations. I understand, I might be faltering yet God does and will pull me back every time I go astray but I am desperately seeking His strength to help me reprioritize and stay focus on Him and the purpose that He has for me while I am alive in this world.

This lockdown gives me enough time to pray and gain strength from Him to see the people and their needs through His eyes, His perspective. My heart moves with compassion when I look at those people suffering and dying without fulfilling life’s eternal purpose. My heart cries. This lockdown made me kneel down on my knees and pray for them and feel for them which I could not have done it if I would have been in a Covid19-less normal situation.    

Lockdown means, a lot of time for me to work on all the above 5 RE’s along with whatever emergency work that I could do from home or by going to the office as I live in the same campus where my office is located. You might think these points are not relatable to you, especially the last RE, but I know they are. You never know, how devastating the post Covid19 period will be than the present state of affairs due to Corona-virus.

So, let this Lockdown Period’ be the most important period of your life apart from all the enjoyment and entertainment that you have planned, assuming you and I would survive and beat Covid19… Uhhmmm 😛  

Stay at home and keep pondering on 5 RE’s

Stay Blessed!

PSSST…!

lolo

Authenticity has always been an issue in a country like India, simply because with over a billion people – you’re always gonna get ‘different versions’ of the original – be it a message, product or simply a service rendered.

What to believe? How much to believe? Even if we see something in-front of our very own eyes, at times one can’t trust them either.

The topic today is about ‘Spreading Rumors’, something that we are all very well versed with. Starts as early as in our schooling days and well…goes on, doesn’t it? 

“We think we have it under control, but we never do – do we?”

Have we at any time spread a rumor? – an innocent one surely, a time when we didn’t even know what the word meant. Yes! we all have, but the idea is to stop the spread of rumor and teach it to our children too because it could (in most cases) only end up damaging someone’s career/life all together.

In the year 2020, we’re definitely wiser – not all of us fall into the ‘I-believe-everything’ category – that would be plain foolish to believe everything we see, hear and also feel. “Feel” – yes, emotions are right up there too.

There are of-course reasons why people indulge in such trivial activities. It could be.. to be part of a certain group, feel superior/or to be in control to others (now don’t people love doing that?) jealousy, revenge or simply to gain attention from people.

Is it a healthy practice? No way. Nothing good can ever be achieved by doing so.

38 years of existence in this world and I’ve never found another’s life as exciting as to talk about it, like/dislike or even have anything to do with it. So technically, if there’s nothing to talk about, the question of rumors don’t even remotely apply. Then, there are people who I meet, whose sole motive in life is to talk about other people and in the process may/maybe spread false news about them.

People lead their lives their way, do things as they wish, see people they want to, indulge in activities they feel right. Some get away with a lot of luck, others don’t.

How does it affect another person to pass a judgement and to say how right or how wrong they’re living their lives. Please! AVOID!

Recently I met a colleague I had worked with a few years ago, and as two people meeting after a long time – it is expected that they need to share information about life, common friends, colleagues etc. Only this time…she had me on the other side and I don’t normally feed on such kind of talk. She went ahead to tell me about her personal life stories, stories about the boss we once worked under, the colleagues we worked with etc. I’m sure 90% of all that was BULL. After some time she realized that she wasn’t getting any kind of reaction from me, she said she was getting late, shook hands and said goodbye. 

So you see… that wasn’t too hard now, was it? If I can do it, so can you. But, WILL YOU?

Doesn’t the word “PRIVATE” mean something to you? If it does – you would know best that keeping to yourself is sometimes the best gift we can give ourselves..and to others to an extent.

Rumors especially, spread faster than any other authentic information – simply on the principal of: what goes into a rumor is interestingly parceled and told to another person using different tone variations, specifically picked out chosen verbs and the right mix of adjectives, which of course when heard sounds so much nicer – obviously and short enough to evoke a curiosity of a ‘tell-me-more’ kind of situation.

Facts/authentic information on the other hand sound very normal and drab.

The next time you find yourself in the middle of an exchanging information session (a fancy label for what we locally call gossip)Think! are you being a part of spreading a rumor? or just part of a healthy conversation. That said, we all know there isn’t nothing called as a healthy conversation.. we’re always including people’s stories and sorry to say, but most of them aren’t healthy at all!

STOP the Rumors! Discuss recipes, apps on your phone or even about the last novel you read. Educate others.