“Is that your daughter? She is such a sweet thing to watch. I have been watching her the entire service, and she made my day. She took away all my pains and tensions. She gave me peace. Thank you for bringing her to this service. I hope to see her always.” said a stranger to me at church one day! What did she do??? She was just one n half that time, and she stood looking and smiling at everyone who looked at her. That day she taught me that a simple smile and light up a dark surrounding as was for the stranger.
3 years ago, I had problems and went to see the doctor. She examined me saying I have multiple cysts and i cannot bear child ever. I and my husband came back home with tensions and sorrows in our hearts. Both silent and not being able to speak. And then suddenly he said, “Let’s ask the prayer warriors to pray.” We went, and prayed there. A prayer warrior told us to put both our hands on my stomach and pray every night before we sleep. I took medicines for 3 months and then we went home for Christmas. All my relatives (including our parents, unknown of my situation) told us that its high time for a baby. We would smile and say, ” We have left it on God”. We came back and then at last in the month of March I told my mother with a lot of disappointment, “Wait! Why are you in such a rush?”. And we prayed and prayed. My health deteriorated suddenly and I would feel so rusty from within. On Good Friday, after church, my husband said, lets go for a check up. And we went. And lo, we found out that I was 2 months pregnant already. How wonderful was that!!! Miracles do happen. And for us, she was our first and greatest miracle and a gift!
She has taught me many more things. Most importantly, how to be a mother. She has been a constant teacher to me, where she has never left me. Mommy to a 2 year old now, I have been through many situations and paths, both happy and sad, where she has always been there. The small span of 2 years with my cutie hasn’t only been wonderful but more of a roller coaster ride. I haven’t ever verbally said her thanks, not that she will understand! But, when I pray I constantly thank God for giving her as my daughter. I, at times feel that I am so not worth her. Times I hit her for any reason, times I scold her, times I say no to some unwanted things which she wants, it pains and breaks me from within. Still being strong and making her do something else has been hard. I have also learnt the art of sacrifice to the utmost extent. My morning starts with her and my night ends with her. Days are there when I hardly get time for loo. But I have learnt that she is more important that myself. Maybe some wouldn’t agree, but this is how a mother’s heart feels.
Its not only in my case. But all mothers in the whole wide world feel the same. We tend to share the same feelings of utter happiness, sorrow, eagerness, tension and pain. And we have learnt to carry them all together doing all the house chores and still managing to smile making the day better for everyone. That smile is possible because of the blessings in our lives – Kid(s). So here am I, thanking my daughter for helping me go through so many situations and helping me stand strong – helping me protect her and cover her from harm, making me stronger only – for helping me understand signs and ways of life. For being able to be in constant touch with God, praying for her and her well being, only taking me more and more closer to him. Thank you my baby for all these. I know a day will come when I can tell you all these and you will understand. Till then its your Mummy and all her feelings for you only.
She is my love, my life and my heartbeat. There are times when I do express and many a times I don’t. But this is what she is and will remain for ever. My first born, the greatest gift of God to me.