“ANGER” is deeply rooted in human life & sometimes we feel like using our ‘Anger’ as if it is our birth-right. Sometimes a small kid also yells at his mother when his mother stops him to play in the mud. Anger can easily be found in all starting from a one year kid to an old person. “We all begin and end our lives with anger and anger only, but what do we get out of it all?” – This question pricks me sometimes.
In my life I have done many mistakes due to my short-tempered attitude. In my last interview, my Director asked two questions and the most embarrassing question for me was, “you have written your weakness is “short-temper” and if you remain like this, how can you work with us?” So, ‘Anger-Management’ is still one of my learning factors.
Thomas A’ Kempis says, “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you can make yourself as you wish to be”. That’s true indeed, when someone causes us pain, we immediately get angry with that person and try to do our best to correct that person, but all the while holding our anger. Once, a very dear person to me did something wrong and that resulted in an unbearable pain/heart break. And then out of anger I wrote a letter to that person which is the worst letter I have written till date (literally full of slangs), which even today after my realization I cannot correct. So I urge you never to do such foolish things in order to prove yourself.
In my struggle with managing my anger I discovered two beautiful solutions;
- Move-out: Years back my uncle taught me a very beautiful thing – “move-out”. Moving out from the place/situation which causes you to anger. If you are in your office/home/peer group and something takes place which literally makes you angry, then immediate (asap) move-out from that place. Try to do something good or your most favorite work. Like, take a long ride, listen to your all time hit songs, go-out to play or eat your most favorite food. This effort of yours will change your mind. Unless and until we forget our anger we cannot live happily. The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Ephesians 4:26). Holding our anger is giving sin a foothold, which later on turns into our graveyard causing us to do some crime or earn unnecessary sickness.
- Sweet Sorry: Anger always breaks our relationship but the sweet word “Sorry” restores our broken relationship. Today late in the afternoon I had a beautiful experience of it. “I went to the State Bank of India to deposit some money. At the counter, the bank employee unknowingly gave me the token number for normal cash deposit whereas he was supposed to give me the Green-Card cash deposit token and then he went outside. After a long time when my number came I went to the cash deposit counter but the banker refused to do my transaction because I was having the wrong token. Again I went to the 1st counter and questioned another man that, “why have you given me this token where as I have to deposit my cash by using Debit card?” And in return that man questioned me with little high pitch voice, “Did I give you? Then why are you questioning me?” With this reply from him, I failed to hold on to my patience and started screaming at him. Immediately, that man changed my token and as I was standing in the queue he came forward and very sweetly he asked me in Bengali that, “Dada, are you angry on me?” With a different look I said “NO” even though I was angry on him. But as I was standing there, God spoke to my heart that, “Still you are holding your anger! Look at that man he has forgiven you. Go and tell him ‘SORRY’.” Before leaving the bank I went to his desk and said “Dada, sorry to be angry upon you”. Immediately that person gave me a loving hug and came with me up to the entrance door”. That’s really so sweet!!! A simple word “Sorry” gave us another opportunity to come closer in our relationship, a loving hug in emotion and a great moment of remembrance. If a single word sorry can give us so many things then why don’t we be a good businessmen and achieve more in regard to Love and Relationship. The Bible says, “Be kind to each other, sympathetic, forgiving each other as God has forgiven you through Christ” (Ephesians 4:32). That’s the reason why even though we are born and brought up in sin, still God loves us by forgiving our sins. Then being His creation why don’t we follow Him! In our relationship with our fellow human beings let’s say sweet sorries with forgiveness.
SHALL WE MOVE-OUT & SAY SWEET SORRY???