“I” & “MY”

ur life is full of conflict. In human life, conflict has a beginning point but there is no end of it. The day we start making relationship (not only love), we get into conflict. It may be conflict in ideas, may be in words, may be in works, etc. But the most cold-blooded part of the existence of conflict in our life is that we often go to the graveyard still holding conflict with our fellow human beings.

Even though I understand the meaning of ‘Conflict’ but still before writing this article I looked into the dictionary definition of conflict and my dictionary says, “Conflict is a clash of disagreement, often violent, between opposing groups or individuals.” The last four words of this definition reminded me of my recent most embarrassing experience.

Last week, one evening while I was returning from office three guys got into the same bus – probably two of them were in their thirties and one in his twenties. After few minutes all three guys started blaring at one another and within a few minutes that blaring turned to fighting. This fighting continued till the bus stopped at the next traffic. When the bus stopped at the traffic signal all of them ran to the road and started beating one another. One person hit the younger one with a bag of iron rods and injured him seriously. Of course they were caught by the traffic police but when we co-passengers started enquiring about the fact of the incident, we found a very silly reason. The reason was that unknowingly the younger one’s shoe touched one person’s pant and he started shouting at him with slangs. When the third person tried to solve the case, another man (the person who used slangs first) immediately used the same slangs to this person also. Meanwhile while this young fellow started calling his gang for show-off. And this act of the young man added masala to the whole drama.

This bad experience of mine taught me two major reasons of conflict;

  1. I”: In every conflict the “I” person contributes more. He acts like pouring petrol to a burning jungle. In every conflict, everyone tries to prove himself/herself – “I am Right”. No one tries to humbly accept his/her fault rather everyone tries to put forward reasons after reasons to prove them. Instead of bringing solution to the conflict we encourage to fight more furiously. Everyone feels like loser/weak to say sorry and accept his own fault. Every conflict needs a SAVIOR. Often knowingly we search this Savior in worship places with a heart of self-righteousness. But we deny admitting that, this Savior is with us and He brings solutions when we admit that – I AM THE SINNER for whom THIS CONFLICT broke-up.
  2. MY”: In most of the conflict we often say Mera bhai tereko dekh lega. In the above story we also saw the same thing done by the younger one. Even though because of his primary fault the whole drama begun but still instead of accepting his fault and remaining as sinner he tried to call his gang and display his power. We also do the same thing in our conflict stories. In order to patch-up our fault and prove our win we try to drag power from all possible sources. And we think by doing such works we will be praised and be glorified. But the fact of the matter is by doing such work we also prove that, “I am a criminal involved with a crime-minded gang”, which ultimately puts our testimony down before the society.

          We have come up to such situation in this age that because of our “I” & “MY” game we are not trusting one another rather we need protection from one another, which is a solid state of affairs. Often like Alexander, the great we try to win the whole world but still we haven’t won ourselves. So, it’s time for us to stop denying the reality, living in fantasy and saying that someday we will find peace by RESOLVING CONFLICT. If we want a permanent solution to our conflict and peace in our society then, first, we must accept our fault/sin and surrender ourselves to the judgment of God as well man and ask for FORGIVENESS. (YouTube: Ravi Zacharias sermon Jam on “SIN”).

Stay tuned & blessed!

Avinash Das