“How have you been? Long time !!” – Doctor
“Sorry Doctor, couldn’t manage time for a visit to the hospital. I am doing better than earlier. ” – I have explained him my current health condition …
“Okay, that sounds good. Any other symptoms?” – Doctor
“I have one big problem, and I need your help in resolving it” – Me
“What is that?” – Doctor
“I am unable to cry …” – Me
“What? Are you crazy and do you face a big problem because of not being able to shed tears?” – Doctor laughed out loud…
“You told me that I will have dry eyes and would feel very dehydrated due to medication. But, I was not anticipating this side effect. I am really sorry but can’t live with this” – Me
Tears do heal me and I love the friendship I have with tears. I cannot go without them and I have suffered enough since the last two months. I am facing a lot of problem because I am unable to do my waterworks. It is considerably important for me to be able to cry. I cry, a lot, at least 2 -3 days a week, I do shell a few tears. As natural it is for me to respire to live, the same is the importance for me to be able to cry. I am not afraid of my emotions, at the same time I feel embarrassed, so I usually don’t cry before others.
If I get into some fight or few people talk totally insensible things about me, sometimes it disturbs me. When a loved one is involved that hurts me a lot. At the same time, I really don’t like reacting at that moment, I do take my time, cry out, think through and get back to normalcy.
I am a very strong person, to which I agree, but the strength does not come from any black hole. I create strength by shedding tears in solitude, I control my anger, deal with the hurtful situations I am going through, all of this managing a smile on my face and with one expression I really love, “I am ok”. I may be fooling others, but that is better than ending up hurting them.
Apart from the general emotions that fall under the umbrella of hurt, I do get emotional and cry for other things. Singing or listening to National Anthem brings tears, seeing an act of kindness, holding a child, seeing a new born in ICU, if my loved one is in pain, well, I do feel very emotional.
When we are overwhelmed with joy, we don’t control our smile, it’s ok to cry. People who ignore sadness cheat themselves out of an important facet of life. Crying, it’s a sign that you’re a human and have feelings beyond what you’re told is appropriate to show in public.