Most people are uncomfortable around tears, the society tells us we’re weak for crying; in particular that “strong people don’t cry”. It is beyond my comprehension. Well, ‘people’-again a term beyond my comprehension. We have all had days when our tears just won’t stop flowing which lead to double breathing at that moment.
Kathy, a friend of mine, is a “crybaby” according to everyone. Honestly, yes she is sensitive but she is a human and she is allowed to feel. She has her own issues but her walls are so high and strong that no one can ever break through. I used to find her very intriguing and wanted to get past her walls. After repeated failed attempts, I finally got her to talking. One fine day, in the wee hours my phone rang. Sleepily, I answered. I could hear Kathy crying on the other line. I patiently waited. She asked in between her sobs, “Why didn’t you stop me from crying? Why didn’t you tell me to stay strong, like others?”
I have dealt with many friends through their heartbreaks, be it an end of a relationship or work stress or even family issues. Usually everyone advises not to cry as it is not worth it, but I on the other hand always told them that if you want to cry then cry your heart out as I believe in the healing power of tears. Keeping everything inside for a long time leads to an explosion which is not healthy. Shedding tears doesn’t make one weak, it helps one to get up as a stronger person. Sometimes it’s about shedding the past and blooming anew. It helps release stress as well as expressing emotions. For many people, it is the best mechanism to self-soothe.
I hope people realise the fact that when someone sheds tears, they are breaking from inside and wants to be saved; Calling a person crybaby or ignoring makes a situation worse. A reassuring hug or some kind words may definitely help a little. We need to realise that crying is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It heals one physiologically as well as psychologically. But one should never forget to rise back from the ashes or that cry was not really worth it.
“It is a relief to weep; grief is satisfied and carried off by tears.” -Ovid