There was a time in my life when I really was a victim of this devil called “Self-pity”. As a young girl I believed that my family did not want me or love me. There were reasons behind a young girl feeling this way, but of course as an adult I know none of that was true. I am blessed with one of the best families.
So, what did I feel when I was under self-pity? Why me? Why can’t they love me? Why am I not good enough for them? Why is it happening only to me? Why am I so unlucky?
I would find reasons to make this self-pity even stronger. A little scolding from parents or my sisters and I would go into the shell. I would not share it with anybody but my little diary (that’s how I got into a habit of writing). Somehow I had made my family a villain in my mind.
Years later when I gained a lot of maturity and started staying independently in Bangalore – a few incidents made me present to the reality. Reality was that my family loved me the most. I had created such a strong shell around me that nothing could penetrate through it and touch my heart. Thankfully, something really transformed me to see the reality and then I could see how I was stuck in the vicious circle of self-pity.
The thoughts and feelings that you have always attract the similar thoughts and feelings from the universe. This is the law of nature. So, if you have thoughts of self-pity – you are only going to get more of it unless you do something to get rid of it. And to get rid of it – you need to first realize that you are indeed in the self-pity mode.
I usually make a conscious effort to watch my thoughts. If my thoughts reflect anything that makes me feel “Why me? Or Poor me”, then there is some action to be taken to get away from those thoughts. Mostly my actions are to get myself busy in some creative work or hobby. That helps me a big deal. And then when I am not pitying myself, I am better equipped emotionally to solve the problem.