SELF-PITTY, PLAYING THE VICTIM CARD

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. So I read a quote which said, “If you keep telling the same sad story, you will keep living the same sad life.” Self-pity is similar to a small damaged castle which gains everyone’s sympathy but at the end of the day keeps you trapped within its four walls. From its window you can see people feeling sorry for its damaged walls, but lastly, you get stuck there all alone, having no other place to go.

I still have a memory, clear as a crystal in my mind. When I was a kid I couldn’t participate in a running race competition due to a minor leg injury. I observed and enjoyed people empathizing and sympathizing me. I would go on blabbering about it. The injury became my perfect excuse for not being able to participate and win a trophy. That was when my father gave me a piece of advice which said blaming everybody else and every situation in life is great until you have got nobody and nothing else around you to blame, except yourself. This statement came true, people stopped listening and giving me a pass. Self-pity makes you hollow and empty at the end of the day. It doesn’t serve you in any manner.

Merely addressing a problem without propounding a solution is as similar as self-pitying yourself. Thus I will state a small practical example which will help you get rid of the above complication. Have you ever paid attention to the toddlers in a toy shop? How they find their ‘object of affection’ and refuse to let go of it? How forceful snatching of that object makes them even more stubborn? Well, that is exactly when they are offered some other ‘object of distraction’ like an attractive candy. They immediately drop their so-called ‘object of affection’ and become contented with that candy bar. Self-pity is the so-called ‘object of affection’. Try distracting your stubborn mind with positive aspects of life and let it become your ‘object of distraction’. Take the blame for your own defeat, handle the rejections bravely, say, ‘better luck next time’ when you fail to participate in a sports game due to an injury and just let go of it, break out of the castle and leave your failures behind. Life is unfair, I agree, but that is never a reason to let yourself become a victim of self-pity.

As we know that ‘Rome was not built in a day’, thus eradicating your self-pity might take some time. Keep practicing and training your mind until it falls for the ‘object of distraction’. Do not stop trying. Choose the braver path!


Payal P. Patra from Bhubaneswar, India is a law student, a vivid reader, and thinker.