Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

We were born equal, with heart, mind, soul, and body. Our souls were free, our minds were clear, our hearts were pure, and our bodies were vessels to be cared for. These precious gifts were bestowed upon us to nurture and grow; they would nurture and care for us.

And somewhere down the line, as we became civilised, we slowly weaned ourselves off nurturing our souls and hearts and solely focused on nurturing only our bodies and minds. Neither the soul remained free nor the heart remained pure.

They were tainted first by vanity and narcissism and then corrupted by perception and narratives. We became deaf to the calls of our souls, mute, and unable to speak out our hearts. The only thing left was our eyes. We were cursed with sight and learned to indulge in the only sense we were left with.

Just close your eyes for a minute and assume you have never laid eyes on yourself—not in a mirror, a camera, a photograph, or a selfie. In this moment, you’re what you believe you are. You are beautiful because your dad told you this. You have lovely eyes because Mama said that. Your smile dazzles the room you walk in. Your best friend says that about you. Green looks good on you; the boy you meet on the swings assured you.

You love who and what you are: kind, compassionate, benevolent, prankster, or maybe even a nuisance sometimes. And then, one day, you found a mirror. And for the first time, you laid eyes upon yourself. You won’t believe this is you. You have bushy eyebrows, a crooked smile, a hairy upper lip, and a nose that is too big.

The mirror took away your acceptance of yourself and gave you discontentment and a false sense of being ugly. You ran home and told your parents that you’re ugly, but your father still thinks you are as beautiful as ever. Your Mama still believes your eyes are the prettiest in the world.

Is there something wrong with them or with you?

And now, nothing will ever be good enough again. You will spend and spend on cosmetics and skincare creams, spend hours in a spa, and get yourself pricked, scratched, and poked so the mirror will tell you that now you look pretty. You will starve yourself to death because you see a double chin in the mirror—anything to have that swan-like neck.

Now you want to buy more clothes because green isn’t your colour—it can’t be. THE MIRROR SAID SO. You are not tall enough; you need higher heels, and maybe even a minor surgery will be enough to correct your nose.

And what does the mirror say now? “One white hair!!!” You are running from dermatologist to dermatologist because you can’t have white hair.

Maybe now you look good enough. You click a selfie and upload it to Instagram. You sit tight and wait for people to see what a beauty you are. How perfect are you?

**FIVE LIKES AND TWO COMMENTS LATER!**

They say you should smile less; your teeth look odd when you smile. And maybe have the mole that your husband called “a beauty spot” removed.

But didn’t your husband tell you to always smile for him? Why would he call a mole a beauty spot when the friend you haven’t spoken to in the last ten years commented on your Instagram selfie that you should smile less?

This might sound like the story of someone somewhere, but it is very much your story and my story. Think clearly for a minute: What is our most extensive fixation, our absolute indulgence today? The answer is our own body.

“Man shouldn’t be able to see his own face; there’s nothing more sinister. Nature gave him the gift of not being able to see it and of not being able to stare into his own eyes. Only in the water of rivers and ponds could he look at his face. And the very posture he had to assume was symbolic. He had to bend over, stoop down, and commit the ignominy of beholding himself. The inventor of the mirror poisoned the human heart.” ― Fernando Pessoa.

This quote made me think: Wouldn’t it be better if we only saw ourselves through the eyes of the people who love us for who we are? See yourself for what you feel and are capable of—your inner beauty, good health, warmth, spontaneity, charisma, how you move, how you speak, how you express yourself, and your creativity.

If we must fixate, indulge, and obsess, then why not indulge in enriching the mind, retain the purity of our hearts, and obsess about keeping our souls free of anything negative?

A recent study has revealed that 20% of people see you as more attractive than you see yourself. When you gaze into the mirror, you’re often fixated on the surface, picking apart every minor flaw and imperfection. But when others look at you, they see so much more—a tapestry woven from your kindness, intelligence, humour, and all those beautiful quirks that make you uniquely you.

This isn’t just a statistic; it’s a gentle reminder that true beauty goes beyond the skin. It’s the sum of all those intangible qualities that define your essence.

High-cost cosmetic brands have mastered making us feel like we’re not enough, driving us to crave their products. They bombard us with images of perfect, airbrushed beauty, setting standards no natural person can achieve. They point out every little flaw, creating a sense of urgency to ‘fix’ ourselves.

Using celebrities and influencers makes us believe that we need these products to be beautiful. They promise magical results with exclusive ingredients, making us feel like we can’t achieve beauty without them. They subtly shame us through before-and-after comparisons and push us into complex beauty routines, implying that our natural beauty isn’t good enough.

These brands play on our emotions, tying their products to our self-esteem and confidence. They constantly release new products, making us feel like we must keep up to stay beautiful. Ultimately, they exploit our insecurities, making us believe that beauty is something we need to buy rather than something we naturally possess.

So, next time you stand in front of the mirror, remember that the reflection staring back at you is only a tiny piece of your charm. The rest is a complex synergy of your inner grace that others see and appreciate in ways you might never fully understand.

Never trust a mirror. 

For it often tells a lie,  

It shows you just the outside. 

And makes you wonder why.

It doesn’t see your kindness. 

Or the wisdom in your eyes,  

It misses all your laughter. 

And the moments you surprise.

Never trust a mirror. 

It reflects just skin and bone. 

It cannot see your spirit. 

Or the love you’ve always shown.

It fails to catch the beauty. 

Of your heart so pure and true,  

Or the spark of inspiration,  

In the things you choose to do.

Never trust a mirror. 

It doesn’t see your grace,  

It won’t tell you of the courage,  

In the challenges you face.

It doesn’t show your passion. 

Or the warmth that you exude,  

It can’t grasp the inner beauty. 

In your actions and your mood.

So when you look into that glass,

Remember, it’s not all. 

The beauty that you’re seeking,  

Is not something it can call.

Look beyond the surface. 

To the person deep inside,  

Your worth is in your essence. 

Where your true beauty resides.

PS: Never be shy to pluck that Bobbi Brown or Charlotte Tilbury out of your purse and add some colour to your face because nothing screams “I love myself,” quite like going bankrupt to look like an airbrushed Instagram filter.