DON’T STOP KNOCKING, THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED SOMEDAY

I reached the crossroads where I had to choose between living and dying. I chose to live.

Imagine the life of a woman who fell in love with a man and left her parents for him, at the rebellious age of 17. Her love story had a disastrous end when she left her abusive husband who was also a drunkard and a drug addict. With no finances, apart from her two children as assets,  she had arrived at the life’s crossroads. She chose to live and is now an independent flourished businesswoman.

She is Patricia Narayan,  director of Sandeepha Chain of restaurants in Chennai. Starting with a negligible income of 50 paise per day,  her earning has touched ₹2 lakh per day. She started with making and selling jams and pickles, and now owns a restaurant chain. It’s all because of her determination to live and succeed. She didn’t give up at any point and continued to struggle.

We often arrive at that point in life where we are clueless to go. The life comes to a standstill and we think that this is just the end. It’s easy to give up and wait for the right time. But, to keep working hard and not giving up is difficult.

Above-cited is just one example. There are so many people in real life whose hard work,  determination and the ‘never give up’ attitude has made rags to riches, misery to success stories.

Try finding out such heroes near you. Someone might be struggling at the workplace, someone might be having a terrible marriage or someone might even be working hard to earn a loaf of bread for the family. The point is they don’t stop doing their work but, keep on working harder and harder. They don’t blame the destiny for their ill-fate,  but try to make their own future by finding a way out.

So,  keep knocking that door. Who knows the door may be answered the next moment!

‘WORDS’ THE BEAUTIFUL INKBLOTS

there is a lilt
in our words
when blue moons
meet dark skies
serenaded by silent
dreams ~

conjuring words
isn’t easy
cause feelings are
hard

the ones that float
in salt water
longing for the
softness of pink lips
in a warm night

oh! did I say hard
nope, feelings are honest
only if
we don’t have to talk
about them ~

perhaps
pain is a
cracked perception

but words find it
thrash it
enslave it

and poetry
seeps out of cracks
where we hide
in plain sight

pretending
no one can find us
scraping out
the pain

as we make
feeble attempts
to glue back
our torn skin
into beautiful words ~

perhaps
words were never
meant to be called
beautiful

and blindness
is not an option
when you crawl
through the
contoured verses ~

perhaps
our hearts hold
magic
but the fear of
logic
burns it

I think
‘never’ is kinder
than ‘perhaps’

but ‘perhaps’ has options
just like poetry

it cuts too deep
too easy

also pulls us out
let us empathize,
verb words
and changes us
into patterns
of free flows
straining out the pain ~

ultimately
all we are left with
is words

‘beautiful inkblots’
in a different
shade
of darkness ~

CHOOSING RIGHT WORDS TO IMPACT

Mom : “So, you will not go to the party tonight?”

Me : “But I dont know anyone there”

Mom : “You know us!”

Me : “I just wont go!”

Mom : “Oh wait!! Your favorite aunty will also be coming.”

Me : “What!! So, when is the party?”

Words, can do two simple things very effectively. One, it might socialize us. Two, it might unsocialize us. They become the building blocks of our social behaviour. Our culture has always allowed others to judge us, even when it is said not to judge people. Being repeatedly humiliated by relatives at a function or being termed mature or naughty or bad or “I told you he/she will be like this” stuffs do break us. And many a times beautiful, caring, how cool, smart uplifts our soul. Judging us, people use their either sugar coated words or sour straight words to express our character. And at a point it becomes our character. Society really does have a huge impact on us because the refinement of their words affects our emotional well being, either positively or negatively which in turn affects our social well being.

Negative impacts come easily than positive. They just come. But in all these cases, the particular thing that affects all sort of activities is the brain. Brain activities are controlled by the genes which expresses physical and emotional stress. These genes basically sends signal to our brain to release hormones which affects the logic, reasoning and thinking processes. So each word, whether positive, negative, angry, sad or happy has its impact on our brain, which in turn regulates our behaviour according to the hormones released. So, if we stay positive and build our brain to be more logical, then we can get back to the person (who had hurt us) and give them a more logical yet rather hurtful statement to take care of? Hmmmm thinking of it, might be or not also. But if we know that certain things do hurt, so why use it to hurt others? Why to carry on using words as weapons and not medicines?

People who use positive words in a friendly and loving manner are able to achieve many things. They can calm an angry person, they can persuade a person not to kill himself, they can divert the direction of a breaking relationship, they can also make this world a better place to stay. Recently, I saw a video on facebook, of how a sergeant saved a suicidal man from committing suicide. He started a conversation with the man and then he talked about games. Then he slowly got him off the bridge. This is how it should be. This is how we should use our words. For the betterment of mankind. I have attached the video for all of you to watch:

In this world, nothing comes easy. If we try to use our words in a right way, may be we not only will see positive changes in our life but also of others. We might not be very social, but we can at least ensure no other person gets what we got. Who knows it might move a large number of people one day, and we might finally live in peace.

Many a times we find ourselves bounded and trapped in a web of words. And escaping it is easy for them, those who dont let these word affect them. Emotional and sensitive people are more likely to create a nuisance out of it. I have had a friend who used to take every word we speak to heart. She would even make a fuss about who accepted her apology and that they shouldn’t have. Believe me when I say, such people are very hard to handle and please. That’s where “Think before you speak ” comes into force. We cannot get rid of people we love just because of what they are, but we can choose to use more finer words in order to save our relations.

Similarly, words do save us and they can also drown us. It is how we use them and where.

WATCH YOUR WORDS …

One of my friends shared a pic of hers on WhatsApp, titling it as “No more glasses”. She underwent LASIK surgery.

I was taken aback with what she did, because her eyes are unusually small in proportion for her face, but glasses made them look big and she looks quite pretty wearing her glasses.

I asked her if she had a problem with maintaining her glasses, to which she expressed that she is tired of being called “four-eyed” or at times even “blind”. I suddenly remembered how other students used to make fun of her during our school days.

I always thought that she never considered those comments, but they did leave a long standing impression on her mind about herself. They are so profoundly effecting her that she considered a surgery better than living with such condition. That’s so bad.. Infact people around her forced her to undergo a surgery.

Many of us would have been through or would have read about such experiences elsewhere. Can you imagine what goes through a child when he/she gets to hear words like ugly, fat, lazy etc ?? Whether they are so or not they would imagine that to be true and constantly find themselves in a battle against the odds others are finding with them. This can be extremely upsetting, depressing and also lead to anxiety and fear . They may also feel unloved.

I find it very surprising and upsetting with kids who are around 4 year old use words like f***, shit, screw you,  really makes me think from where do they learn these from. Mostly from parents, family and the entertainment channels we have. Kids grasp new words very quickly, the more we repeat,  they do get registered in their brain more significantly. It then forms a habit, due to which unintentionally they would utter words which can be hurting or insulting to others. 

Similarly, having a control over words is the most toughest. Not only the words, but the way the words are delivered and our intentions have to be very clear. While in anger, frustration we uncontrollably say words that may be very depressing to others. These words may not be true and are not uttered because they are well thought of, but if you look deeper into it, it goes on to explain that we don’t know how to communicate. 

Communication is essential for us. We have created so many words and languages to express and for better communication. We build trust and our belief structure based on our words. Using words is the best way to communicate and let’s use these ONLY to make our lives more beautiful.

Loving and caring words build positive relationships where as harsh words can ruin a relationship built over years in under a minute.

WORDS CAN EARN YOU- FAME, MONEY AND MORE

Hi Everyone,

Shakespeare said:

“Words are easy, like the wind; faithful friends are hard to find.”

How apt!  What I deciphered from this quote is it is very hard to find right words for the right moment and the one who knows this art can win every situation.

We are in times where presentation and packaging is so important and words are an important part of that machinery.  People tend to forget actions but words carve a deeper place in their memories.  If you don’t believe me go back in time and check your General knowledge/ social question papers.  There will be one such question for sure which asked you to name the person who quoted following words.  I am sure you would find one.  Let’s take a cue from current situation.  People base their decision to vote for a particular candidate in elections after listening a great deal to their speeches and speeches are nothing but words.  Words used with great articulation, punctuation and emotion to connect.  So it’s all about words. Words can make or break.  One should be watchful, tactful about using words, if possible artistic as well 🙂

That was all about how to use your words – Right words, right time, right pitch – job done period.

But how come words can be a source of income.  I say why not?  There was a time when I was searching my place in this cosmos writing came to my rescue.  I started writing and I am here in front of you, with you precisely.  These words are my way of communicating with you all.  But blog writing these days is a reliable source of income for many who wants an additional stream of income or simply a comfortable office space not hovered by a boss around.  Not just blog writing, but content writing, technical writing, review writing, script writing, column writing… you name it and there will be numerous employers who are ready to shell out their pockets for those who can use their words artistically coupled with knowledge.  And if your pen have poetic flair and mind have imaginative bent then words can dance to your tune followed by fame and we call such people “Lyricists and writers”.  Remember old classics that you still hum and feel relaxed or a book that you have read nth number of times but it still gives you the same high every time your eyes meet it.  That’s the magic of beautiful words.

To put it shortly and sweetly its all about how you use words. They can rescue you from your boring cubicle 🙂  Give “words” a chance they have power.

I AM MY WORD AND MY WORLD IS MY WORD 

All of us have been told to believe that you do not have control over your future. You can control your present but not your future. And I beg to differ. I know that I can create my reality and I have done it time and again.

When I was a young girl, I loved to play with my Barbie dolls – like all other young girls do. We used to play this very common game of role play wherein we give characters to those dolls – one of them becomes a mom, another one becomes dad, some other become kids and friends and so on. Then we used to create stories out of it. Most of my girlfriends created stories which was replica of what they saw at home – mom staying at home, dad going to office, kids going to school etc. But when I created stories, they were totally different.

My Barbie doll was always a working woman staying independently. She owned a home, a car, was extremely busy at office during the day, used to come back home late evenings after spending time with friends. She used to read a lot, dance a lot and she used to stay with friends. I created those stories by voicing them out over and over again every evening while playing.

At the age of 24, when I was attending a 3 day seminar in “Landmark Education” – I heard my coach say that you have created your reality. The words that you uttered in the past are now your world. I started to reflect on that statement and almost instantly had tears in my eyes. I was so moved when I realized that I had become my Barbie doll. My life was exactly the way I had described them in my stories. And then from there on I started to find even more such examples that I had said words that actually became a reality.

There is common saying in Hindi – “Shubh shubh bolo” (Always say good things). I found the reason behind that saying. Because your world takes the shape of your words!

I have always wondered how is it possible to spread cruelty? How was Hitler able to inspire the whole nation of Germans to kill Jews as brutally as they did? How do the masterminds of terrorists groups manage to inspire their own people to kill so many innocents and in the course kill themselves too?

I read Mein Kamph (autobiography of Hitler) which was responsible to quite an extent in spreading the cruelty. And I realized that Hitler created his reality and by spreading his words – he created the reality of his nation and its people which was full of devastation. And that is exactly what the terrorists group does. They use words on young boys and girls – powerful yet negative words which create the reality for all of them. Such is the power of words.

What reality do you want to create? Watch your words. Your words have the power to create empowering and positive future for yourself and for the people you communicate with. Your words also have the power to destroy your future and that of the people you communicate with. What is it that you want? Ask for it in form of words and it shall be given.

YOUR WORD DEFINES ‘YOU’ !

And that auto guy was waiting for me at the auto stand even though I was almost 45 minutes late and he handed out Rs. 20/- towards me and said “Madam, yesterday’s change!” The day before I had a little quarrel with him over change and he offered to pay me the next day at the same time. I take the same route everyday so I told him that I would wait for him the next day at the same place. And later I totally forgot and came about 45 mins late. The auto guy was waiting for me to give me Rs. 20/- that he owed me. I never expected to see him again, I was pretty sure that he won’t show up – but he did.

In my eyes, that auto guy might have been an illiterate but definitely had high standards of integrity. He did what he promised, even though he had no stakes in the situation. How many of us really do that?

Integrity! How do I define it? It is very simple. “Do what you say and say what you do”


“I would complete the implementation of this web page by end of today”

“I will send you the report by Monday”

“I promise we will go for a picnic with kids this Saturday”

“We will go for a romantic date this weekend”

“We will catch up for coffee on coming Thursday”

“I will definitely go to the gym from Monday”

These are some of the examples we hear all the time and all of them (might have been said casually) do offer some amount of commitment to other person or to oneself. And mostly such commitments made casually are either forgotten or thrown off the priority list in no time. When we get into a habit of doing this over and over for years together, it becomes a habit. It becomes “Ok” to break promises and disappoint people. Even people around stop getting disappointed because they wouldn’t trust your promises anymore; we end up having a very loose relationship with our commitments.


“Humne aapko apni zubaan di hai” (I have given you my word) – This is a very common dialog of old Bollywood movies. In such a dialog, the promises are meant to be kept. Their word is their self-respect. If they do not fulfil their words (promises), they are considered less of a man (human-being). That is the kind of relationship that one should have with your word.

Your word defines you. If each one of us really take a pledge to strive to mean and fulfil every word that we say – we would end up watching our words a lot more. We would not make promises that we know are not meant to be kept. We would not say things casually. We would define our actions more appropriately.


I get utterly frustrated at work when people don’t turn up at the right time for the meetings. I get irritated to the core when somebody doesn’t respect my time. Punctuality is one of the key aspects of Integrity. It is not about just being punctual but it is about respecting time – your own and that of the others. Fortunately, our generation is blessed with super technology that lets us be connected 24/7 in a million different ways. It is not difficult to pass on information today, yet many of us just take it for granted. It is “chalta hai” to be 10 min late. It is “ok” to not deliver projects on time. It is “not a big deal” if I missed out gym for another month. It is “fine” to not spend time with your kids in spite of promising them.

I have been associated with 2 MNCs in my work life. One of them was an American company and other one is Dutch company. So, I have worked with Americans, Russians, Chinese, Europeans, British etc. And almost all of those people have a negative image of Indians with respect to integrity. They believe through their experience that Indians are not as professional. There are exceptions of course but a general perception of Indians is so.

What can we do to turn this perception around? What can we do to make sure that we are trusted and respected.  I would suggest – start small. Take baby steps. Start watching your words and commitments and make out plans to fulfil all of them. Some of the key steps that you can take today to ensure a step towards increasing your “Integrity”

  • Be on Time where ever you are supposed to be. This is not easy – in today’s tight schedule, even with the right intention we end up being late for something or the other.
  • If you cannot reach on time, make sure to inform the concerned person about it.
  • Hold others accountable if they do not respect your time
  • Do not make casual promises. Make sure of what you are saying in “friendly” note does not imply a commitment from your side.
  • If you feel that the person you are talking to has not understood you correctly, do not leave ground for misunderstandings to grow.
  • Keep your commitments whether it is a promise to yourself to hit gym daily or a project completion date to your boss. A promise is a promise and is never meant to be broken.
  • Learn to say “NO”, so that you keep your commitments to a realistic number which can be met.
  • If you could not keep your commitment, find the root cause behind it. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Fix it and learn from it.
  • Learn to apologise for not keeping your promise and mean that apology. If you do not improve next time – it would be a failure.

It is easy to write about being a person with high integrity but too difficult to follow. I struggle with it all the time, but I always strive to keep it high at all times. Sometimes, it is way too demanding for me to be my Word always – in such situations, I take a sabbatical for a day or two. I inform people around me about this and keep my commitments close to zero during this sabbatical. It is difficult and extremely strenuous at times. But the more you try, the better you get. And you gain much invaluable trust and respect from people around you which is the biggest reward for me. 

Who you are is your word and your word is your integrity. So, do not compromise on it!