ORGANIZING HOME – WITH AN EVOLVING ME

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Balancing life is a meagre excuse, for living and dedicating your full time to your family. My all perspective is bound to keep myself happier and fuller till I lay on my deathbed -with no regrets no missing bits and pieces that will leave me hanging between life and death.

Growing up watching a mom, who has an excellent pace in managing work and a home was a quite a motivational stir to me ever since I became a mom.  I always admired to be more like my mom, though it gave me heart-attacks when I have to deal with a mountain of patience and I just a small hump of it, which was indeed not helping.

An organized home is somewhere you find things right in every place it deserves to be. But yea, my home is never like that other than a few requisite items, everything else is misplaced ever since I am the homemaker and worst ever since I am a mom of two.

But over the front of making everything read on time from managing home, cooking, and getting kids on time for school – I have a not so bad scorecard.

As a daughter who follows her mother’s I have few valid points, which I feel one should adapt to get things organized.  Ever since I became a second-time mom, things changed, and literally, I had to juggle with responsibilities. Managing kids school, a baby and work as well as taking care of husband and home – it was never easy.

Accepting that nothing is easy -is the first realisation that helps me cope well with my everchanging world. The very easy way to adapt to changes is by accepting that it is like this nothing can be magical. (pinch me- its real)

Secondly – Never expect your work to be done by anyone else. ( a better piece of advice to carry on in life) .  Expectations, keep your level of procrastination a little higher. The best way is to evade all those false thoughts and just keep doing until you are banged with surprises. ( don’t you like those) .

Third  – Planning – Yes it helps in running away from stress. With kids, it is better you have a minimal planning done. Like keep the milk boiled and ready to be fed when your baby is asleep as meanwhile, you can spend a great deal of time with your elder one. Even planning your weekly groceries and menu for the days would be perfect when you have to pack your kid’s lunch (warning: Else spend your time wasting in front of your fridge, who gives you no positive reply other than the cold waves )

Fourth: Take occasional breaks, it gives you a recovery time and helps you relieve a lot of stress and helps you wake up fresh. The more you stress, the less organized you are. You need not just sleep – a book, a favourite movie or even a chit-chat with your best friend is good.

The happier you – the best-organized home you will be having – That is the key finding I did all along. These always helped me, as I moved from a homemaker to a freelance professional too.

(by Chiradeep Patra)

Mom’s Gyan: Always ensure you do everything on time “

This is the first thing that helped me to keep my home organised. Make sure you wake up, cook and keep your self-organized – as we are the pillars of the homes.

The better we – the better homes we bring in. 

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ORGANISED WAY OF KEEPING FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships and friendships are the integral part of human life because man is a social living being. Without fruitful relationships of any kind it is really very difficult for us to live on in life. But sometimes we suffer for the relationships or for the friendships that we keep either because of those whom we once valued a lot in life or because of our mismanagement.

One of my friends always reminds me of not overdoing things in regards to relationships as according to her, being an empathetic person I always over do in all my relationships or I tend to over invest on them. I have my day to day colleagues as friends, I have real life friends, I have friends from different Social Medias like – Candles Online, Facebook, YourQuote, Instagram and so on. Above that I have my family members and relatives to deal with. I once had a lot of problem to keep track of my own life while chatting, talking with all of my friends as and when required. There were friends and relatives who used to share their hearts out and I just stay quiet and listen. There were friends and relatives who used to demand ‘a ping’ as compulsory every day. There were friends who used to ask for suggestions and advices from me. There were people who used to feel bad when I don’t reply. And moreover, there were my writer friends who needed my constant attention in regards to Candles Online. Here, in this list, I am excluding my family members, my close relatives and friends with whom I deliberately want to keep in touch. The pressure was high. At times, I felt there were friends surging out from all around and literally was suffocating me. When I felt things were going out of my hands and stressing me down, I decided, I will have to manage all my friends by categorizing them differently like – ‘when to talk’, ‘whom to talk’ and ‘how to talk’ etc…

Trust me, telling someone, ‘NO’ was very difficult for a person like me. The Bible verse – “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”. The calling of my life is, to lay my life for all these people around me like my Saviour did for me once and for all. Laying my life doesn’t mean dying for them but also living for them. So saying, ‘NO’ was contrary to my call. But I had no options left. I felt I will suffer mental paralysis if I don’t organise my dealings with all of these people around me. Organising and disciplining myself in regards to my relationships and friendships are not saying, NO but it is enabling myself to handle them more efficiently without feeling pressurized.

The first thing I did was that I STOPPED all the sources of INCOMING MESSAGES – important and unimportant and simply stayed quiet for few days… no Whatsapp, no Facebook and nothing at all that could attract my attention in those few days. That helped me to get back to my real jovial self after being stressed out so much.

Secondly, I sat down and made a PRIORITY list as –

1. Can’t be avoided (example: Official, Candles Online and family)
2. Can be for a short time
3. Can be at a specified time
4. Can be attended if I am free

Lastly, I COMMUNICATED CLEARLY about how I should be interacting with each one of them. It is not at all an easy task but I managed to communicate that with love and care. Some might have felt hurt for sure but I know if they love me and respect me they would definitely understand why did I organise and make such stringent rules to my interacting with them.

Friends, relationships and friendships are the most beautiful things that can happen to us in life but if they become pain in the neck then it will be very difficult for us. Organising our interactions with all our friends and with the people we get in touch with and following a certain discipline is beneficial for both us and them.

Be disciplined and organising in regards to your interactions with people and friends…

Stay Blessed!

THE INVISIBLE LEASE

Why on earth is his phone switched off?‘ there was panic in my voice. ‘He must be in a meeting.’ said my sister. ‘No he always keeps it on silent mode during meetings doesn’t switch it off.. ‘.’OK then the battery must be dead‘ she came up with another reason and I was quick to shoot it down. ‘It was fully charged in the morning. It’s not possible that it drains off so quickly‘ by now my mind was in a tizzy. I called his secretary who said sir had already left for the day. Now my heart was beating loudly and all sorts of bad thoughts were coming in my mind. This whole episode lasted only 15 minutes and here came my dear hubby smilingly into the house. ‘Why was your phone switched off?’ was my greeting to him. He was taken aback. Actually his phone had fallen down and battery and cover had come off since he was so near to the house he decided to assemble it at home. I realized how our need to be connected all the time is so high we can’t imagine what to do if for some time that connection is lost. 

I don’t know how many times this has happened with you but I am notorious for it. I sent a message to my friend on WhatsApp. And then checked, one tick – ‘Oh OK not delivered yet’. After 10 Mins – double tick, ‘OK great now she will see it’. I double checked her last seen also to understand how much time has lapsed since she was away from her phone. Another 15 minutes pass now when I checked it showed blue ticks. ‘Oh great now she has seen it. But wait she has seen the message then why has she not replied?’ Another 5 minutes pass away and now my thoughts are ‘Why is she ignoring me? After reading the message also she doesn’t have the time to answer me. My God, this lady has become very snobbish these days.‘ Later on I come to know that the phone was in the hands of her 3 year old daughter who was playing some game on the phone and happily clicking on all the notifications also. 

How many times has it happened that when you send a message on the WhatsApp group and after some time check on the info button to see who all have read it. And wonder why they didn’t respond. 

Actually the more we are getting connected the more we are becoming addicted or enslaved by this connectivity. We can’t seem to function without it or exist without it.

Summer vacations are on. And our kids go to their friend’s house to play. Ya! what’s new in this even we used to spend the whole afternoons at each other’s house playing board games. Well the difference is here they all carry their cell phones, the host swtiches on the hotspot to give everyone access to wifi , they log in to an online multi-player game and sit together everyone’s head buried in their respective mobiles playing against each other. Looking at them I wondered whether they were actually more connected by technology or more disconnected. 

But then this is how our life is. I wonder how we as kids managed in the times of landlines and how our parents used to keep a track of us. Nowadays it’s mandatory to give even small children mobile phones to keep a track of them when they go out to play or go to the tuitions etc. Feels like an invisible leash on them. 

I am not trying to portray only the negative part. I love being on WhatsApp. The best part for me is the group chats. When we can talk to family members or friends together. It’s like sitting in one place and chatting. With our busy schedules this becomes a boon.  My sisters and I talk mostly via our WhatsApp group. There is no Compulsion of immediate answer. A topic starts in the morning and each one keeps replying as and when they have time. We end up discussing the same topic till evening. It’s very comfortable for us. We can have long chats also and it doesn’t intrude into our daily routine. The down side to it is if I get a call from her I get worried that it must be some emergency or else she would have just messaged me. 

Facebook is another such frenemy (friend and enemy). I am connected to so many people on fb. Some of whom I haven’t met for 20-25 years. Even though catching up is fun at times I wonder do I really need to be connected with so many people many of them just acquaintances? And most importantly does everyone need to know so many details of my life. 

With so many controversies over the data theft or other privacy issues in news these days we really need to rethink how much of ourselves do we want to share with the world. And how much should we stay connected. It’s OK for the Wi-Fi connection to be lost at times who knows you might just discover some new hobby or something new about our family members. Like we all recently did. My kids were playing a game on the computer, my husband was busy with his laptop and I was admiring the recent vacation pics posted by my friends on Facebook. When Suddenly due to some fault the Wi-Fi stopped working. After a lot fretting and fuming and calling up the internet guys we came to know that we won’t get a connection till evening. Wonder of wonders we survived and actually enjoyed ourselves. Our family of four really connected over a game of Uno.