I am giving him too much credit. And he will never let me forget this. In every future confrontation of ours, he will bring this up. Knowing the risk, I am still narrating this small incident of my life. (Maybe I won’t show it to him)

A couple of years back my husband started his own company and I started working with him. (I am telling you not a good idea). I will give you a brief background about myself. Before starting this work with him I was a housewife (right I too hate this term) for the last 10 years. So even though my degrees stated that I had all the required skill for an office job my great talents were obviously a bit rusted. My husband on the other hand was fresh out of the Corporate world with grand ideas about his startup. His expectations were of that MNC level.

My hubby dear used to turn into a typical demanding boss as soon as we started working. I on the other hand was still a bit laid back. Mind you I tried my best. But still, slip-ups were bound to happen. If he got angry with something I had missed and shouted at me I used to feel how dare he speak to me, his wife, like this. I gave him back good and ended up with both being upset. Almost every day we used to fight.

Letters to be formatted in a certain way, customers to be handled in a specific way, records and filing should be up to date all the time. Records should be available on the click of a button. Seriously I was scrambling to keep up with his bossy demands. And mind you we were a Startup and really understaffed. So, it was a struggle. He shouted, I shouted and then I cried (my best defence). But it hardly changed his stance. Eventually, I did understand his way of working and the number of incidents reduced a little. But his standards never came down.

Few years down the line he closed down that business and moved on to another business. And we decided not to keep all our eggs in the same basket. So, I took up a regular admin job in a school. 

Believe me when I tell you that it took me very less time to impress my current employers with my skills. And every time I get praise here for a job well done, I secretly thank my dear hubby for training me so well or at least for polishing my skills a bit. Really grateful for that period in my life now. It didn’t seem like a blessing then but has really helped me in the long run. Because it is the times of necessity and pressure that teach us the most important life lessons.


I got discharged from the hospital last Friday. A week of running around by the whole family with me lying in the hospital bed gasping for breath was a traumatic experience. All of us needed rest. My mom and mom-in-law were on toes all through the week and they deserved to go back home and relax.

So two days after I was discharged, my mom said she was taking Aarnav (my 3 yr old son) with her. The idea was to give me some rest. Obviously, I rejected the idea upfront. The mom in me was not able to approve the distancing of my child, depriving him of mother’s love, making him sleep without those cuddles and kisses and overall other mom duties. However, this decision was forced on me by the whole family. Much against my wishes I had to give in. I waved my son goodbye with a heavy heart and tried to console myself by thinking at least he didn’t cry. It’s a different story that he didn’t know he was supposed to stay without his mom for a week.

The first day was difficult. I missed him terribly. I cried. But I fully trusted my mom’s judgement and believed in the idea that he will be fine without me.

Cut to today:
It’s been 5 days and my little munchkin is happy at nana-nani’s house. He is getting that extra pampering, is not bound by any rules and is having a gala time. He is the apple of their eyes. My mom shares his pictures and videos because I terribly miss him but more because she wants to instil that confidence in me that Aarnav is now ready to take baby steps to come out of my wings and prepare to fly. 

The exact same thing that I was cribbing about as to why a decision is enforced on me is something that I am utterly grateful for today. These 5 days not only gave me much needed rest, but it also ensured full concentration at my office work, no additional breaks for baby duties and thus wrapping up work on time. It also gave me some “ME TIME” which I don’t seem to have got in a long time now. More importantly, it showed me that Aarnav is slowly becoming independent, that my baby is growing up. I do feel the mom guilt but there is very little that can be done for it. Guilt and motherhood go hand in hand I suppose.

Anyway, the bottom line is – Lot of times we question the happening of certain things in life. We hate those times. We feel betrayed, shattered or even breakdown. But that happening could be a blessing in disguise. If we are able to manage the breakdown and negative emotions we may experience the blessing in coming time for which we would be ungratefully grateful.


One can either be grateful or ungrateful, but is it possible to have a cocktail of both?

Well, there are instances when one can be gratefully ungrateful or ungratefully grateful. It depends on how one wishes to interpret such episodes.

Have you ever felt thankful for that heavy downpour because of which you could have a day off from work? There you go – you have at least once instance of being ungratefully grateful!! That rain which clogged roads and may well have been a barrier for some others, was indeed welcomed by you!

In my Post Graduation years, I had to take the intercity bus for a 30 km ride each day to the University and the same distance back again. Classes would invariably be over by 5 P.M. every day. I had four other friends for company (which made the travel a little less difficult). Bus-hunting was a daily routine. Buses did stop by the bus stop at intervals. But, we looked for less crowded buses to board (crowded buses are nightmares for all – but a lot more for females). Also, there were buses which had conductors who were reluctant to give the student fare concession. In this way we had certain criteria.

One fine evening, we had been waiting at the bus stop for more than 40 minutes without any of our familiar buses stopping by. Eventually, when one did come, it was jam-packed. My friends decided to board it anyway as there was no surety of another one coming by anytime soon. I was too reluctant – to the point that I asked them to leave if they wished to and that I would wait for some more time for a less crowded bus. One of them already had a foot on the bus and another had a had on the door railing ready to board. But, seeing my stubborn reluctance, they returned (wonderful companions) and so all five of us waited desperately for another bus to come by soon.

It was another 15-minute wait before we boarded a bus, much to our relief! The long frustrating wait of a humid summer day finally came to an end. We had hardly been seated for 20 minutes, that people began curiously looking out of the windows. I could hear the word ‘accident’ from the many voices that were commenting animatedly on the view outside. Just then, a passenger seated behind me gestured outside and said, “the bus which you were reluctant to board, but your friends were insisting, has met with an accident.” I was stunned as the information sank in! There was no loss of lives, though. The driver had lost control and the bus had skidded off the road and had rammed into a building nearby.

The passenger who gave me this piece of information had also been waiting for a bus at the bus stop and had been overhearing and watching the little drama that had unfolded among the five of us (you are being watched without your knowledge – beware!) much to his amusement, and had later got on the same bus as I and my friends did. “Had you all got into that bus, you would have met with an accident today”, he added.

I was so grateful to God that day! I had been ungratefully grumbling within myself as to why the bus that came after a long time had to be so crowded that we couldn’t board it. I also felt a bit guilty when my friends let the bus go only to stay back for me. But now, I was grateful beyond words!

I was grateful for the delay. I was grateful for the crowded bus. I was grateful that my friends got delayed because of me. I was grateful for all those events of that hour and a half, for which I had felt so ungrateful, minutes before.

Truly, there are events that come by unplanned, unasked for and entirely undesirable. But, when we put two and two together, the picture becomes quite understandable.

Since I firmly believe that each and every event in our lives happens under God’s sovereign control, I also believe that those people or events in our lives for whom/ which we are most ungrateful are the ones for whom/ which we will be grateful in the long run (only if we perceive our lives in their entirety and not in fragments).


Being grateful while the world crashing around us is always difficult. At the beginning of this year, as we still struggle with many issues, I am happy that we are concentrating on gratefulness. Thanks to Geetmalini and Rajnandini who have been planned out this month so very well.

There was no writer for tonight but I was not in a mood to leave this slot go just like that. So I thought to quote a few outside bloggers and writers who have spoken a lot about this expression called, gratefulness.

Let’s visit their minds and hearts to check out their perspectives about gratefulness:

I thank the Lord for giving me a platform to write the things that I want to air out the things that I can air out. I have avoided my friends because answering the question “how are you” is just the hardest one to answer right now. There are things that I can’t talk about, not with my parents, not with my friends — things that hurt so much to speak about. I thank the Lord for being the one whom I can always call unto– someone who won’t get tired, someone who won’t be burdened by my burdens! Someone who hears me unconditionally, someone who won’t blame me, someone who won’t say “I told you so.”

I so relate myself to the author, Ms. Janis who so beautifully wrote this article.

Ms. Betul Erbasi says in her blog: “… focus on what is lacking is not healthy and it gets me nowhere. I can’t get my family here, nor can I go stay with them. The only thing I do to myself in this case is just make myself sad. This sadness in turn makes me irritable and unproductive.”

She was right. If our focus is always on the negatives then we can’t be of sound mind at all. We can’t focus on the things that are important in our lives, for ourselves and for our families.

Mr. Ashok rightly points out what I said in my article a week ago. He says, “Once we become grateful for every circumstance, every situation, every happening in our life: we shall always be joyous and at peace. And that this gratitude should not be kept only for big and momentous happenings of our lives, but should be expressed in our day to day blessings. We take so many of our blessings for granted, as our birthright!”

In the end, I want to conclude with this last quote from Dr. John Persico Jr. At the end of his article he poses a few thought-provoking questions for the readers, for all of us and I am quoting them all here:

Time for Questions:

What are you most grateful for today?  When was the last time you expressed your gratitude to someone you care about?  How often do you stop to think about how much you have to be grateful for?  Are you grateful for the things that really matter in your life?  What if you took time each day to be more grateful for your life?  What are you most ungrateful for?  How can you get rid of your ingratitude?

Life is just beginning. 

Interesting all of the above writers and their articles, right friends! Do visit their blogs and learn more about the heart-condition named gratefulness.

Stay Blessed!



Standing on the hypothetical rock by the river as I look back and keep opening the difficult pages of my life, I don’t regret about them, but I feel grateful to God that He took me through them.

Did I sound too filmy and general?

Let me then take you on a ride in my time machine revisiting all those pages of my life now… 

Grateful for Heartaches & Vulnerable Moments

I had soft corners for many girls in my life. But I chose only one out of all to express my love, even though she turned down my proposal. And others were those whom I could not have proposed or expressed my feelings. At that moment, I cursed myself as I went through those vulnerable moments. But I was clear in my heart and mind that my vulnerability was not an excuse or platform for me to take those refutable steps at those moments of life. I was murderous each time I choked those forbidden feelings and emotions. Trust me, they were utterly painful moments. They were almost like the pain of a woman going through abortions, killing those feelings after conceiving them within yourselves.

I was so ungrateful and regretting about everything while I passed through those events in my life. I even questioned God at that time, “Why did you let me go through these?”

But today, when I look back, I feel grateful for those ungrateful moments, because of those hurts and heartaches, I could understand the matters of heart better than others. I can feel the pain of a person who go through such succumbing turmoil within himself or herself.    

Grateful for Taunts and Assumptions of people

 “Huh! You be quiet. Sitting at home, you can’t understand how hot it is outside.” It is true, I don’t go out, I won’t be able to understand the pain of working outside in summer times but I do know the fact about how it must be feeling in summer and I deserve to place my opinion as well.

You are too fearful. Don’t talk about pain so much, trust God and you will be fine.” But the truth is, people talk about trusting in God, and I lived out my life till now trusting God.

Nothing will happen, you can do it by God’s strength.” Again, that’s a half-truth. I have been and will be doing things by God’s strength but while in pain and suffering. The words like, ‘nothing will happen’ has no meaning for me. Because something or other have been happening to me all through my lives yet, I am not broken but leading a joyous life even with whatever is going within me. That’s a fact, that’s the truth.

Hey, look at his nails, they look so weird. They are so big.” I hear whispers like this many times when I come across people who are unknown me. If I get a scope, I usually smile at them in response and explain why they are so otherwise I look away or divert my mind from those looks of people.

All these comments, remarks, taunts and assumptions about and for me were utterly unpleasant and discouraging. At those moments I was so ungrateful to all of them whoever uttered those words. But now when I look back, I feel grateful because those words, whispers made me tolerant and resilient.    

Grateful for indifferent and insensitive behaviors  

Being sick, I am always left out from most of the activities or events where physical strain is a must. We talk about old people being so isolated during Covid19 times. But I have been isolated like them as well. Not only about this difficult time, but also in general I never go out on trips and events often.

During my life when I used to be alone, I used to feel extremely bored and search for people to talk with or do something that will keep me hooked. But nothing was possible at that time. There were no mobile phones, no Facebook or anything that can make me distracted. But when I joined the office, I had everything yet the level of desperation and loneliness changed and the needs deepened. When I fall sick, I suffer the most. “You behave like a kid when you are no okay.” Someone told me once I approached or showed how needy I was. I know the intention of the person may not be bad, I took it differently. I felt neglected, ignored and unwanted while I was in desperation. Sometimes people don’t count me in the decision-making group because I won’t be active in things we plan.   


The lifestyle I led made me feel lonely, ignored and deserted many times. But when I look back, I feel grateful about those moments because those are the moments when I reinvented myself, discovered my creative skills and became very observant about things and people around me. Those moments and behaviors made me to be more sensitive towards others. They moulded me to become an empathetic person and thus, I am grateful for all those ungrateful behaviours that I had been receiving from many.

God has His purpose in making me while He took me through all these very ungrateful events, moments and emotions. But I am thankful and grateful for everything that I went through acknowledging them as my training sessions. I keep surrendering myself again and again into God’s mighty hands while going through things that are unpleasant even these days. I will be the same, tough and flexible at the same time.

God has been my strength and portion as it is written in the Bible, 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

But God will only be the strength and portion of all those who surrender themselves to Him. 

I want to quote someone who surrendered herself to God and then decided to be grateful for everything: “I’m done crying, I’m done asking why, and I’m done waiting. Lord take it if it isn’t mine. I promise not to question you anymore. I promise to be thankful instead.”

So friends bring all those ungrateful and bitter experiences in your life. Surrender them all to God and He will grind all those in His grace and let you drink everything. You will gulp them easily which you found difficult to swallow previously. I gulped it, so can you. 🙂

Stay Blessed!


Helping others is a basic gesture known to humanity, bonding together and helping a fellow man or woman. In times of tragedy, the stories of those who help others are inspiring. It includes stories of people who have helped the nation recover from national disasters and terrorist attacks. Some men and women sacrificed their lives to help others. Our, Armed forces and the police force safeguards our country, and many risk their lives for the common good.

But…I believe there must have been a phase in each of our lives when we have expected help from our near and dear ones, but we got no help. I know how disheartening that can be. You expect support and encouragement from people you consider close to you only to be completely rejected, criticized, or laughed at.

It can be tough to swallow all the “noise” around you. It literally boils down to learning how to not care so much about what others think and, conversely, trying to comprehend what goes on in their minds.

Sometimes when people don’t support what you’re doing, it may be more about them than you. Maybe they are insecure or jealous! Or maybe it could be plain ignorance. 

It is wise not to take their words to heart. If their criticism isn’t constructive in any way, they may be discouraging you by painting a gloomy picture before you.

Don’t let others’ objections become your truth and limit you from creating what you want in life. Don’t grumble; instead, be grateful! Because anything is possible if you believe in yourself and work hard. Tell yourself you can do this without their support.

It’s very natural to want support and encouragement from the people around you, but it is possible to do what you want to do without it. Next time someone denies extending their helping hand, thank them in your heart; constructively use the denial and do the work yourself!


Is 9 equal to -(-9)?

Yes, of course, you got that right. 

Is being not ungrateful, equal to being grateful? 

Let me help you by sharing what happened with my neighbour

My neighbours are an elderly couple with a son and daughter. Her son Sushrut and daughter Sunitha. Sushrut is married and lives along with his wife in a different city. Sunitha moved to the US on an assignment 5 years back and continued to live there ever since. 

My neighbour aunty passed away two years back. Sunitha was abroad when her mother passed away. She flew for the rituals and returned to the US a month after her mother passed away, leaving her father along with her brother. Sunitha thought her father would be well taken care of as long as he is with her brother. On the contrary, Sushrut and his wife tortured him for the property. When Sunitha got to know about this, she left her job in the US, returned to India so that she could take care of her father. Sunitha’s brother and sister-in-law threatened her that they won’t let her father live elsewhere. Sunitha’s father was determined to give his property equally shared between his daughter and son. Sunitha’s brother was not agreeing to this, so, Sunitha had to file a police complaint against her brother. After the police intervened, Sunitha’s brother let her father go along with Sunitha. 

Sunitha’s brother continued to have arguments with their father for the property. Every other week Sushrut would visit his father only to ask for more and more money. This continued for six more weeks and that is when the pandemic struck. Due to the lockdown restrictions in India, her brother could not drive down to where Sunitha lived anymore. One thing Sunitha said hit me harder, “After my mother passed away, it was already difficult for my father. On top of that, arguments with my brother aggravated his anger. I will always be grateful to Covid, Modi ji and the police who never let my brother cross the border. My father lived in peace for the last two months of his life“.  Uncle passed away before the lockdown ended in India.

Taking things for granted which are considered “normal” is a human tendency. When things go wrong in life, often people start to wonder, what are those things they have been ungrateful for. I have also realised how lucid my life is only after Covid.

If not for Corona and the lockdown, I would not have realised 

  • How important is human interaction even if that’s just a smile? 
  • How unthankful I have been for all those tea break conversations at work
  • How much I took me being healthy for granted. 
  • How important survival is and what is needed to survive. 
  • How much online banking, remote payments and internet at large have comforted us.
  • How apart from family, no one can really be “there” for you. (Only family members were allowed to travel due to restrictions)
  • Waking up every morning. 

I remember telling my parents several times, “If I live in Bangalore I can take a flight to be home in less than few hours. The same would be difficult if I move overseas“. I still feel this is true, but the lockdown meant, this was not possible anymore. I should never undermine the chances I get today to be with friends and family. I  am ungratefully grateful to Corona to have taught me the best lessons of life which otherwise would have taken decades to learn. It is unfortunate, the lessons came with a cost though.