TRUSTING THE SELF – PEOPLE AND THINGS

As much as we want to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt that – when we make a decision and trust ourselves to execute it, how many of us, can truly say – it has worked out?
…and yet we go about making so many decisions along our day – most of which are done at the spur of the moment, do we have the conviction to trust even the “smallest” decision made?

If trusting our decisions is the physical execution of a particular task, then self confidence is the driving force behind it.

Some of the very normal and everyday decisions we make are:

~ when do we cross the road in a country that do not possess traffic lights? #India

~ how much do we spend filling petrol in our vehicles – now that it’s touched INR 100 a litre?

~ Do we use public transport over private vehicles when it comes to safety v/s money?

~ Do we continue wearing masks & take precautions or go through life with gay abandon forcing ourselves to the “normal life” in comparison to that of the “new normal”?

These may be some of the more simple decisions in life, but that said – again, we still need to trust these decisions we make – however small or big it may be.

12 Reasons You Should Never Regret Any Decision You Ever Make

While all of us make decisions: some forcefully and some not – I personally gift myself with life altering decisions that make me put myself in situations that are new, the unknown but surely in places that I’d be better off than what the present situation finds me in.
Not even the closest member of my family would be able to decipher/understand my next move, my next decision – and ask me why? I’d have no answer, for I never thought it have ever been important enough to explain my decisions to anyone else.

I trust the decisions I make – and obviously there would be made only to help me be a better version of myself. <others may disagree but well….>

That said all my decisions haven’t always reaped benefits, BUT if there’s one thing that trusting my own decisions has done is: even if things went wrong, I am/was solely responsible for it and no one else had a hand in it. Success was ALL MINE so are/were the failures.

Listening to people have got me nowhere, other than confuse me more and to find myself back at square one.

To think of one such instance of trusting my own decision: was to decide to work out-of-state – a new place, a new line of work, strange people and a language I had no clue to speak. However, new things always excited me – and working out of state was never a new thing, many people had done it before me, so I was just one more. However, when it came to support from back home: it didn’t come in abundance besides my dad (who is always game for a new adventure – an advocate of the phrase: “you only learn when you put yourself out there“)

I got into the teaching line with little to no experience in the field initially, only for a crash course in the ‘do’s and the ‘don’t’s and a skill of the language that I possessed. I trusted my decision to go ahead not so much on the experience front, but on the skill front and of course, the fact that I knew I would do well because I backed myself with a whole lot of conviction and the trust in my abilities backed with confidence like that, its rare that things would go wrong.
The road wasn’t the smoothest but if ever I made a good decision in my life, that was surely one of them.

They’ve been other decisions too – some taken in the past, others in the ongoing present and a lot more to come in the future. My life has been a whole set of decisions that I set out to do, make, break, achieve & power ahead – I am bound to make a lot of people unhappy on the way; but then again the journey isn’t theirs, it has, is and will always be mine, if we happen to cross paths and a wonderful relationship comes out of it, be it professionally or personally (nothing like it). This has always been me – Plain, Blunt and TO THE POINT.

Making the right decision is one thing, trusting that decision and marching forward – no matter the judgements is a whole new level of awesomeness, that one needs to experience. I continue to feed myself with these experiences, maybe you could give it a try out yourself too.

I’d like to end with a piece of advice to all fellow readers:

If you think you aren’t qualified to make a good choice then you’re going to be afraid to make any choice.

May the Power be YOURS.

TRUSTING MY OWN DECISIONS BASED ON MY INTUITION

Well, my intuition is one of my best friends. It guides me when I need it the most. It makes me feel secure and safe in this wild world. It makes me do the right things at the right times.

What is Intuition?

It is that tiny little voice that says – “Just do it. Everything is gonna be alright.” It is your own sixth sense that tells you if your decision will take you where you want to go or not. It is that gut feeling or the vibes that one feels when something is not right. Even without enough analysis of something, you sometimes just know that you should do something or not do something.

Is the intuition always right?

No. It has failed me many times so that I could only learn better from my experience. Sometimes I failed multiple times but that’s just life. Isn’t it? Intuition is not always meant to be right. If it were, then all of us would be Gods.

When do I use my intuitions the most?

In trusting people. About 6 years back, after a few unfortunate incidents of betrayal at the hands of my “so-called” friends I made a decision. That decision was to get away from any friendship (or relationship) that seems fake. If I cannot make any meaningful conversations with a particular person, then there is no point in being in touch with that person just for gossiping about rest of the world.

Since that point in time, I have used my intuition the most in choosing my friends. And I must say that I have been really successful. I chose the right people who brought out the best in me whether it was the group of my apartment buddies, or my office lunch group, or my Candles family, or my child’s school friend’s moms etc. I am so glad that I haven’t faced any sort of a discomfort from any of my friends since I started to use my intuition to choose my friends and to decide how much to open up in front of whom.

I recall one such incident where I really trusted my intuition and took a decision. And I really got what I wanted. In the year 2013, I suffered a miscarriage and at that point of life I was so upset about not being able to conceive. We had seen doctors, got a lot of tests done and even taken a few treatments. It was not working out. We changed doctor after doctor because I had a strong feeling that I am not finding a good doctor. Little did I know then that infertility clinics is such a huge industry and it is very difficult to find an effective solution. I was looking for a doctor that I could connect with, a doctor who listened to me and my concerns about my body.

Eventually I found a doctor, recommended by a friend. And as soon as I met this doc, I knew that she was the one. She didn’t talk too much, she listened, she empathized and she didn’t talk medical jargon. She just looked at the reports and said – “Everything’s normal. Let us not worry too much. We will just take the right steps and see how it works.” The calm way in which she spoke I just knew that I could trust her. My intuition told me that this will work. And it did. Finally we were blessed with our boy in 2015 and life was good again.

How to sharpen your intuition

This is something that I am not an expert in (I am still learning). But I know for sure that to sharpen your intuition, you need to do the following

  1. Keep your thoughts organized. Don’t let your mind clutter with all the negativity. Negative self-talk is the killer for a strong intuition.
  2. Meditate and focus on the process of life. When I say process of life, I mean focus on something that proves that you are living. Like your breath, or the movement of your abdomen when you are breathing, or just focus on one of your fingers etc. There are a million ways to meditate effectively. Use what works for you.
  3. Do not take decisions when you are angry or upset. Your intuition is simply shut off when you are in a negative state of mind.
  4. If you are in doubt whether you are taking a right decision or not, take time. Time to breathe and slow down your thoughts or time to just sleep over it.

Your intuition will always make you trust your decisions and stick to them. Use it wisely!

TRUST… A FEELING I EMBRACED TO LIVE

TRUST ME !!!

TRUST ME !!

He kept on saying .. I will never leave your hand.

Just be strong, I want to be a part of your life.

She struggled, a lot to keep up her spirits. As she dreamt a life with him. Even though it was merely impossible. She just believed that he would be the one holding her life safely. He cared for her, fought for her, stood for her, but yet there was something missing in him. She kept trying to believe in him. Yet there was mist covered feeling as if she is lost. She struggled with her thoughts – She believed the fact that she trusted him, yet…

Doubts prevailed in her heart.

One day the news arrived that he had walked away from her life. Fulfilling his life promises, breaking her heart like never before. She wept, cried a lot, unable to convince her heart. The thought sweeping in her mind about him was painful. She had sacrificed every thought and gave up on her heart. There was nothing that could protrude into her heart and keep her happy, yet she smiled and pretended to be happy.

Years passed, She went again Trusting people who hurt her every possible way they could. She kept expectations, and they broke it like a stick. She was wounded, yet she believed everyone she met. She never felt that someone could cheat on her, even when she was broke numerous times.

Some shocked her

Some broke her

Some took away everything from her

Some robbed her happiness

Yet she never hated anyone

She prayed hard for all those who hurt her…

It is mostly impossible to bestow trust on someone. Yet we humans have a tendency to trust people blindly.

Trust is something people quite easily bring on someone’s mind. It can be through many things :

  1. A thoughtful gesture.
  2. A lovable care
  3. A kindness
  4. Friendship
  5. Support
  6. Leniency etc.

Yet how easily people get cheated by these?  Yes, There are several incidents happening around us, which are truly unimaginable, undigestable thoughts. The ones who we trust the most breaks us easily.

Be it professional or be it a family relation, Trust plays a vital role. I was… no, I am one of those who is easily fooled by people, since I trust people easily.

But I just believe it is my strength, there were days when I felt weak and vulnerable. Now, I feel that I have it as the greatest power in me. In this busy world, people forget to give time and trusting care to anyone. All are in the rat race, hence I just feel am someone who might be lagging behind in all, yet the one who can be a good friend I affirm.

“I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door. “

– Marla Gibbs

The above quote states what I learned from “Trusting people”. I learned many lessons, the lessons that made me who I am now. I learned not to blame anyone for the same – even if they had hurt me. I realized for anyone to live in this world, they need someone to love, blame, share, express or even hurt.

To conclude I can quote…

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.

Frank Crane

 

HOW DOES HOPE WORK?

When I look around I see only brokenness. I look into my life there’s brokenness. I look at others and I find broken hearts everywhere. This vacation of my life really made me very burdened and weighed down. At the end of the year when I sit down and thinking about my own life as well as the lives of others which made me very disturbed.

Why there’s so much brokenness?

I know there’s no answer to that question … But all of us we don’t stop living… We keep doing our part of the responsibilities, fulfilling whatever is required of us, making our supremos happy, satisfying our family members and so on…

But most of the times we drag our lives… like I do sometimes. And that way I really don’t make my authorities happy or satisfy the needs of my family members because I live on a life of pretension. Now pretentious life never allows us to live freely or in liberty. So we can’t termed that living as “live in hope”.

The Greek word for hope is hopemeno which means “to wait, ” “to be patient, ” “to endure” till something happens. And till something happens how should we behave, what should be our reactions, how we should stay? 

The modern idea of hope is “to wish for, to expect, but without certainty of the fulfillment; to desire very much, but with no real assurance of getting your desire.” According to the biblical usage, hope is an indication of certainty. “Hope” in Scripture means “a strong and confident expectation.”

Yes, if we are hopeful we should be happy, energetic, positive, enthusiastic, jovial, cheerful and so on… because our confidence on something or someone for which we are hopeful of something good to happen is of utmost value and on truth. Hope is not always about something good will happen to us only but it might be something good will happen around us… And our suffering will be credited to that good which will happen around us.

Hope I am making it myself clear by what I said above…

I took an interview few days ago which I published couple of days ago on “FACE 2 FACE” column of Candles Online. I interviewed a person who had been successful in whatever he touched or worked on… but he literally lost most beloved people of his life which always keeps him suffering day after day… That might continue till his last evening. But if you see him you won’t sense that something is wrong. He is quite jovial, friendly and very positive. He talks well and gives a very positive vibe on the people around him.  

I have re-blogged it and you can have a read of his life by clicking the link given as under:

Chiradeep: I met Mr. Asit Ghose, a 70 years old man during one of our official meetings and came to know that he will be joining us as our administrator. I was unaware of his age. I was thinking he…

Source: Asit Ghose – A man of sorrow but comforted by his Saviour!

He leads his life in HOPE. He doesn’t expect something good will happen to him in regards to the pain he is enduring but he is hopeful to meet his family again when he dies because human being is eternal and our body stays back but our spirits live forever. There are definitely criterias for making it to heaven but I am not going into that subject. I am just talking about how does hope in somebody works and works good. 

Secondly, as everything happens for a purpose; let me correct it… ‘for an eternal purpose.’ So the death of a person or the suffering of a person has some meaning and effects on the eternity as a whole. It will definitely do some good somewhere, in somebody else’s life, in some era or period of time which we don’t know but the Almighty is aware of it very well.

Thirdly, as the Almighty is aware of every details of our lives or whatever happens to us being the omniscient and sovereign Lord then we should be hopeful by trusting on HIM and HIS intentions and purposes behind everything as we walk on this earth till the end.

Don’t let hope loose its charm…

Be Hopeful always!!!