MY LIFE IS THE CANVAS, WHICH THEY COLOURED WELL

When I think about colours, the only thing that comes into my mind is the ample colours that my children brought into my life. When I see them, they bring me happiness, the joy of unprecedented love and care.

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(Image Credit – Pixabay.com)

When I was given this picture, it just reminded me how my kids keep me happy and content about my life.

Kids never judge by anything, they shower joy to everyone around them. Last year, when I lost my dad to cancer, it was quite disheartening. It was something I could never live with, losing him forever. I remember as a child, there were times I would always wish that I don’t lose my mom and dad forever as I could never imagine living without them. Later when I had my kids, again I used to think the same.

When my dad was battling with illness, the only strength that held me stable enough to handle everything was my kids.  I knew that I would be losing him forever, but I could not just sit and weep, I should assure him that pain was just a phase, everything will be fine and he would be recovering soon. He too found to forget about the pain he is enduring inside when my kids were around. It was not easy for him though, yet I knew their smile was enough for him to just forget he was unwell for some time.

Whenever I am sad or upset or even unwell, my daughters come to me enquiring me what happened to me. They never let me feel alone or even lost. Even though am their mother, they take care of me, as if they are my guardian angels and I truly believe they are my guardian angels.

My daughters wash away all my sorrows, my agony and bring me sunshine in my life. Maybe at times, I might have failed as a mother, but they are overwhelmingly my greatest support and my backbone.

I recollect the days, when I am extremely tired and over irritated, my lil one just comes to me and hugs me and kiss me without being asked. It is like they know that I wanted them badly.

Kids do things without being asked, but they do the best. 

We as parents should permit to do things, as they feel like, rather than pipelining them into our own channels of discipline and other mundane things we end up doing. The more we let their imaginations run wild, the better humans they become.

Being a parent, I am used to be in a circle of moms, who are more panicked, anxiety struck, overwhelmed, scared and even confident ones. I admit I am a combination of all these. I know they will find their own way, I am not a mom, who wants just academics to be perfect, but I want them to be JUST HAPPY about what they do because I believe that they are the gems that outshine in my life.

My kids are my strength, who lead me in my life.

Like they paint the walls in my home, with their tiny fingers holding those crayons, smiling at me, as I watch them do all naughty things, even when they know, I might scold them at any moment. The just keep smiling and melt away my anger in no time.

My life became their canvas to paint the most colourful life for me with them as the colours I enjoy being coloured with.

A FLASHBACK

When Charlie sent this picture to me, I remembered my childhood days. I mean, what a coincidence! The picture depicts my childhood. 

It has two kids and a real cycle down there. I and my cousin would ride a bicycle with the same expression. It was my childhood dream to own a bicycle. I never had one and this always made me feel inferior. I used to see my friends and cousins riding their new and colorful bicycle. It is not that my parents couldn’t afford one but they had priorities. They thought to pay my school fees and buying me a new school uniform was way too important than buying a bicycle. 

Whenever I sat on the back of my uncle’s bicycle, I felt as if I am on the top of the world. I used to sing whole way and never wished the ride to end. Some days, I used to throw tantrums for not eating food and weeping until my uncle would promise me for a bicycle ride. Such a drama queen I was!

Anyways, I used to ride my cousin’s bicycle. He was around 4 years old and I was around 9. He knew I don’t have one and how fond I am of a bicycle, so he asked me to ride his bicycle. But I didn’t know how to ride. I fell down every time. I would come home with skinned elbows and knees. My aunt would scold me for this. 

(Image Credit: Pixabay.com)

Then one day my cousin told, “Di today I will help you in riding the bicycle. Come sit and I will give you the support.” That evening, my Grandpa came out of the house and saw me trying my best to not to fall from the bicycle. He said, “Sit, I will hold the bicycle from behind and you have to put one foot on the paddle and then after paddling put the second.” I followed his instruction and to my utter surprise, this time I didn’t fall. I rode the bicycle for a complete 2 minutes and this was my biggest achievement till that day. I saw my cousin jumping happily. After that day, both of us would ride together. He used to hold me tightly while sitting behind me on the bicycle.

There were five bicycles in our street. Those who had would come along with their bicycles and then we would ride each of them turn by turn. Life was so easier then and we were so happier those days. I remember we used to celebrate birthdays by giving permission to ride the bicycle for a complete 3 minutes and that person could take the bicycle down the street to the old lamp post. Sunday mornings were dedicated for cleaning the bicycle. We used to participate equally and with full enthusiasm for the cleaning program.

Presently, I still don’t have a bicycle. But now I don’t feel pity or inferior. Because I have those memories where we used to share our belongings with each other.

These days, we are not willing to spare some time for people, forget about the belongings. If anyone parks his/her vehicle under our house, in no time we yell at them. In fact, if somebody asks for a lift or a ride, our calm expression turns into a frowning one. Even when someone asks for our help or assistance to do work, we pay no heed. We feel blaming others for our failure is easier. 

But we must keep in our mind once we welcome people with an open heart all the bitterness that we hold in our heart will vanish like a vapor. 

LET THEM GET DIRTY, LET THEM EXPLORE

Those tiny little feet are a bundle of joy. We do our best to take care of the little baby in the house, from massaging to cleaning, from caring and pampering to child-proofing the house. But, as the little baby grows up old enough, we forget that the tiny baby isn’t tiny anymore. Instead of making her/him independent, we go overboard in making the child dependant on us for every little thing. Why?  Simply because we fear that they might not be able to do themselves or think that doing things for them is easier than making them learn themselves. And as our little children grow up into adults, we expect them to take their own responsibility themselves and make decisions themselves.

(Image Credit – Pixabay.com)

Look into the picture, the soft pink feet of the baby are covered in sand. As the child learns to walk, those always so clean feet and legs are bound to get dirty. As the infant becomes a toddler and starts tottering, she/he is likely to get some bruises. So, should we stop putting the baby on the ground or the floor?

The answer is simply no. We can’t lock their exploring bodies and creative minds for the sake of safety. Children can’t learn unless they have hands-on experience.

It’s better to let them fall so that they learn how to succeed from their failures.  Instead of giving into their wants, make them learn how to wait and let them learn how to deal with NOs in their lives.

HE MAKES, BREAKS AND SHAPES US

In the church, we usually share our praise points and prayer points so that we can praise God for all the good things He had done in our lives and pray for all our needs along with the whole congregation. Last week, I stood up to share my heart, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I said, “I am thinking why I am living on this earth if I am causing so much pain to others.”

It was my hurt and my anger made me pour my heart like that in front of all but I kept on speaking quoting one verse from the Bible which reads, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for He founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.” This verse let me understand that God owns everything and if He can establish the whole creation on the seas and on the waters then He can surely establish me on any difficult path. Remember, the very nature of water lets everything to drown in it yet, it was God who established His handy work on it. I was comforted soon afterward though my heart still hurts. 

(Picture Credit: Pixabay.com)

But when I saw this image God spoke in my heart again and I chose it for myself to reflect on it.

A potter takes the clay which is so easily moldable. He puts it on the wheel and spins it. The clay may be modeled by hand or fingers while the potter’s wheel spins. The raw moldable clay soon molded into different forms as directed or designed by the potter. After a pot is designed or given a form the potter dries it with fire to make it strong and usable.

What a beautiful picture it is…! It is like God shaping us as He wishes and defines our purposes on this earth.

I used to always grumble with God for creating me with such an ailment for which I had to suffer a lot and was held responsible for so many things which were not even in my hand. I used to question God when I was young. But later, He made me so strong that nothing had really shaken or discouraged me until the last few months. My present hurts and agony reminded me of my brokenness and how weak I am.

Yet… Yeah, Yet, I don’t lose hope on Him who says, “Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will announce My words to you.” And lo and behold, today when I visited the potter’s house through this picture and saw how he was making something on the wheel. When the vessel that he was making of clay was spoiled he remade it into another vessel, as it pleased the potter to make. 

Whoa!

We all are in The Potter’s hands. And we are all safe in His hands. He will make us, He will break us, He will shape us into beautiful pots to be used beautifully in this earth and the life to come for eternity.

Stay Blessed!

IMAGINATION DOESN’T HAVE A HEAD AND TAIL… IT HAS WINGS

India has lost 5 wickets for only 132 runs and there’s another 178 runs needed to take them to victory. He has come to the crease after the fall of the fifth wicket. He is a good batsman but the bowlers were kind of too heavy on the Indians today. He started to settle down… but he doesn’t have much overs left to play slow and settle down… He quickly adjusted to the situation and has started playing freely. He’s very quick between the wickets and slowly he opened up to hit few boundaries. He was well supported by Ravindra Jadeja at the other end who knows how important he is. Now India needs 128 runs out of 7 overs. It looks impossible but as long as he is there nothing is impossible. He hits a six. That’s the first six he hit today. Once he starts hitting he is unstoppable. The opponents know it very well. He hits a four again. Indians fans are shouting and screaming his name all around the stadium. Its 22 runs needed from 6 balls. Jadeja is on strike and he knows how important to give him strike if the India needs to see the victory. Jadeja took a run and give him the strike. 21 run out of 5 balls. He hits a six, another six and there the third six. 3 run out of 2 balls.

“What are you doing? Did you finish the lesson…? Are you dreaming or what?” My aunt’s voice brought me back to my study table from the cricket field. I couldn’t give my team members an emphatic victory.

There were other times when I used to imagine myself to be a defense personnel and married. I would be assigned to solve a problem. My wife would be also part of the defense unit and we both would be on our bike to solve the problems that caused many suffer in the city.  I even used to imagine that our defense unit will be a private association and not part of the Indian Army. I used to imagine that I would be the second in rank to the commandant or boss.     

When I used to wake up from my sleepmagination I used to find myself struggling to even go to school regularly for my health issues. 

I still imagine a lot even now. But now I imagine some realistic stuff… like, meeting with Prabhjot and Aastha in Bangalore or arrange a conference for all of us to be part of with lots of food etc. I also imagine that my book or music album will be published and all will be appreciating it. But again when I come back to my reality I find myself right there where I was just sleepmaginating

We imagine what never happens in reality. Imagination doesn’t have any heads or tails but it has WINGS. So when we give air to the wings of our imagination by directing them well we become good writers and story tellers. I am an example picked up from that lot.  

Are you in your sleepmagination? Wake up and channelize it. 

Stay Blessed!

​OH WAIT! THAT WAS SO SILLY OF ME…

Our world is filled with people who try to look pretty serious on the outside, and some may be serious on the inside too. But I am definitely sure that all of them have been bugged by silly thoughts from time to time. And these silly thoughts are not restricted to a certain age group. I know that when we are kids our imagination is hyperactive and our thinking is completely independent of any world view, but even when we grow older there is always a kid somewhere within us.

Enough with the introduction now! Let’s head into few of the silly/stupid/weird thoughts I have had over the years.

The union with Vicky

I was may be 11 or 12 when “Small Wonder” used to come on TV broadcasted on the Start plus Channel. And I immediately took a liking to Vicky, the humanoid-robot created by Ted Lawson, and accepted as a part of the Lawson family. Well I accepted her too and was smitten by her.  Smitten so much that I even dared to kiss the TV while she was in the frame; of course nobody else was there in the room. And in my dreams I used to see this strange storm transporting me to Vicky’s world. The dream was always incomplete and the union with Vicky (in my dreams) never happened.

The thing with orange seeds

Now this is something which might be common to folks. When I was a kid, someone had told me that you should not swallow orange seeds or else an orange plant would take root in your stomach and soon you would be producing oranges. Well! The orange plant taking root within me itself was a horrifying thought which made me extremely careful while eating oranges. And the worst part was I actually thought it would work this way: “You swallow the seed and then you drink water, and the plant starts to grow. That’s how plants grow; water the seeds and they grow, don’t they?” One day when I accidentally swallowed a seed I got very anxious. I could not even avoid drinking water, but then when nothing happened and I learned about the digestive system my fears were allayed.

Coming to my fears: When I thought I was being haunted…

I was very tired that evening. The washing of clothes gave my back a lot of pain and my shoulders a bit of strain. The dinner was heavy. I gulped in 6 chapattis with a dry brinjal-capsicum dish. By 11 pm I left my chair near the laptop and fell on my mattress.  

I was in deep sleep when something started to move. I tried opening my eyes and I could see the figure right above me. It was waving as if chanting some spell on me. My legs had grown cold because of the ceiling fan. I remembered switching off the fan before going to sleep but now it was running in full speed. The figure drew closer to my face and I could hardly move an inch. I felt it almost caressing my throat as my breathing morphed into panting like a sudden gear-shift. 

As I tried to reach the figure with my arms suddenly the image became clearer. And with a sudden gasp I regained my senses and recognized the terror. They were clothes hanging from the metal-strip on the door. I checked my mobile for the time. It was 2:53 AM

Does our planet earth confirm to atlas?

Now I have a fascination with geography so when I finally got my hands on atlas and saw the map of different countries and continents, I always wondered if we really get high enough amidst the skies and look down from there will the countries actually look the shape they appear to be in the maps. I never dared to ask this question to my geography teacher.  May be I can go fly to the space one day and check that. And I also wonder how all that water manages to stay contained inside our planet.

Do people actually drink in office and that too during the day?

This happened very recently. I sat across the table of this officer who was having a conversation with my superintendent who sat beside me.  This officer seemed to be affable and jovial. I sat quietly listening to their conversation when my eyes fell on a drinking glass. It interestingly was half-filled with whisky-like looking liquid. Thoughts start racing in my head: “Has this officer already gulped in half a glass of whisky during office hours? Is this the reason he looks to be so affable and jovial?  Should I ask my sir if this officer has this habit?” I knew the answer to the last question was “No” and soon we left the table. I smiled at the officer as I got up from my seat.

Amongst other crazy thoughts why the “hotdog” is named so when it has nothing to do with dogs and is the “100ft road” really 100 ft long. That’s a bunch of silly thoughts from me.  May we enjoy a little silly side of things once in a while as we try to make sense of things happening around us.  Stay blessed!

A VERY FILMY GENIE IN THE BOTTLE

It is said that nothing travels faster than the speed of light. WRONG !!! Imagination travels faster than anything ever known to man. The mind can be in Sherlock Holmes mystery one moment and Alice’s Wonderland the next moment. And my imagination was always in hyperactive mode, be it any stage of my life. My father loved this trait of mine, as it was my inheritance from him. He used my over-imaginative mind to his benefit sometimes, though it was always for my good.

He and I were bonded in the soul, and so he could read my mind and my thoughts real well. It always left me wondering how he knows exactly what I was thinking. I always used to ask him, “Papa, how do you know what’s going on in my mind ?” He would pull me to his lap and tell me in my ear like a top-secret – “I have a transmitter in you that transfers all your thoughts to me.” I was hell-bent on finding where is the transmitter but couldn’t figure out no matter how much I thought on it. One day, owing to Hindi movies, I decided that it is inside the Birthstone Locket I am wearing. I was scared shit, thinking he will figure out all my naughty thoughts and buried the locked in the dirt, happy with myself. But the experiment failed, he still knew my mind. It took me a couple of years to realise he had it in my heart.

My next stupidity was when my Mum scolded me badly. I would cry and run to Papa. She would occasionally land a slap to make me stop creating a nuisance or to make me read my lessons. My mother’s tongue wasn’t sugar-coated, and she said some acidic words to me now and then. I, again influenced by Hindi movies, believed that she was not my biological mother and I was adopted or may be her stepdaughter. I was possessed by this thought and wanted to clear my doubts. One day when she scolded me in front of a crowd, I couldn’t find Papa’s lap as he was on a tour and I cried in my aunt’s lap. She coaxed me so lovingly that I told her my doubts, she was flabbergasted to know my thoughts and told my mother, who in turn again scolded me for having such stupid imagination. I became the laughing-stock of the family.

Next example of my abstract mind was given when my father invited some of his colleagues to dinner with our family. Three men came, all tall and burly; they were from Chennai (then Madras). They all had dark complexion and big moustaches, they smoked cigarettes, laughed robustly, and my father entertained them with drinks and food. I was scared to death of them. I was sure they are all evil men (again, Hindi film takes credits with stereotype villains, the hero is never a smoker or drinker, think retro), who have come to my father to trap in him some criminal activities and are bound to bring trouble to my father. They had brought large folder and thick files to be audited and signed by Papa (he was a C.A.). Just when he was about to sign them I stopped him and told openly, “Papa don’t sign it, they will make you sign on some wrong papers, they are bad men”, My father was embarrassed, and all three men laughed loudly on my madness. Papa apologised to them many times, but they gave me excellent chocolates before leaving, which I never ate, as I never believed they are laced with chloroform.

Till date, there are numerous absurdities I have done as a result of living in fantasy land. I like to call myself Visionary, Lol. From seeing ghosts that were never there to chasing thieves around the house in the middle of the night with a Rolling Pin in hand, just because I heard a Thudding sound, I have done it all. I have even gone as far as believing that someday I will find a long-lost brother in some trade fair to wondering if the man who lives next door is a smuggler. At one point I believed that I am a Genie that lives in a bottle and another time I lived under the notion that I am a reincarnated soul of an English queen. In days I was obsessed with Harry Potter I believed that I get Owl mail from him and used a wooden stick as a wand, trusting someday it will make my TV remote come flying to me when I say “Accio !”

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

― Albert Einstein

Let It Fly !