SWEET SEASONINGS

 

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Be careful how you wag little tongue,

Not causing anyone by you to be stung!

 

Hither and thither by leaps and bounds,

All through the day you take too many rounds.

 

A small muscular medium of communication are you,

Preciously formed by the Master Sculptor True.

 

So vital an organ to aid verbalization,

Significant for expression of limitless imagination,

Critical to lucid articulation,

Giving clarity to difficult gesticulation.

 

But, Oh! How big a fire can you cause,

By the tiny spark that escapes from between the jaws,

How deep a heartache can you incite,

By words of anger that seem to bite.

 

Spicy gossip and merciless slander,

Frequent lying and mindless banter,

Malicious talks and injudicious comments,

All filled with spurious contents! 

Easy it is to tame a horse by bit and bridle,

So tough it is to prevent the tongue from idle fiddle.

Not too much effort to control the ship by a rudder,

Oh so arduous to restrain the tongue’s endless blabber!

 

Both sweet and salty waters can a spring never yield together,

And so ought the tongue not give praises and curses altogether.

 

Words seasoned with salt are words that build,

Grace and mercy forever yield.

 

Words of love work as soothing balm,

They can all the stormy seas gradually calm.

Words of light and truth wield power,

That is loftier than any tall tower.

Prudent use of silver speech,

Many an uncanny silence does breach.

 

May your words be honourable and pure,

So that they never any guilt conjure.

Words of praises and eternal bliss,

May your lips forever kiss.

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WATCH YOUR WORDS …

One of my friends shared a pic of hers on WhatsApp, titling it as “No more glasses”. She underwent LASIK surgery.

I was taken aback with what she did, because her eyes are unusually small in proportion for her face, but glasses made them look big and she looks quite pretty wearing her glasses.

I asked her if she had a problem with maintaining her glasses, to which she expressed that she is tired of being called “four-eyed” or at times even “blind”. I suddenly remembered how other students used to make fun of her during our school days.

I always thought that she never considered those comments, but they did leave a long standing impression on her mind about herself. They are so profoundly effecting her that she considered a surgery better than living with such condition. That’s so bad.. Infact people around her forced her to undergo a surgery.

Many of us would have been through or would have read about such experiences elsewhere. Can you imagine what goes through a child when he/she gets to hear words like ugly, fat, lazy etc ?? Whether they are so or not they would imagine that to be true and constantly find themselves in a battle against the odds others are finding with them. This can be extremely upsetting, depressing and also lead to anxiety and fear . They may also feel unloved.

I find it very surprising and upsetting with kids who are around 4 year old use words like f***, shit, screw you,  really makes me think from where do they learn these from. Mostly from parents, family and the entertainment channels we have. Kids grasp new words very quickly, the more we repeat,  they do get registered in their brain more significantly. It then forms a habit, due to which unintentionally they would utter words which can be hurting or insulting to others. 

Similarly, having a control over words is the most toughest. Not only the words, but the way the words are delivered and our intentions have to be very clear. While in anger, frustration we uncontrollably say words that may be very depressing to others. These words may not be true and are not uttered because they are well thought of, but if you look deeper into it, it goes on to explain that we don’t know how to communicate. 

Communication is essential for us. We have created so many words and languages to express and for better communication. We build trust and our belief structure based on our words. Using words is the best way to communicate and let’s use these ONLY to make our lives more beautiful.

Loving and caring words build positive relationships where as harsh words can ruin a relationship built over years in under a minute.

WORDS CAN EARN YOU- FAME, MONEY AND MORE

Hi Everyone,

Shakespeare said:

“Words are easy, like the wind; faithful friends are hard to find.”

How apt!  What I deciphered from this quote is it is very hard to find right words for the right moment and the one who knows this art can win every situation.

We are in times where presentation and packaging is so important and words are an important part of that machinery.  People tend to forget actions but words carve a deeper place in their memories.  If you don’t believe me go back in time and check your General knowledge/ social question papers.  There will be one such question for sure which asked you to name the person who quoted following words.  I am sure you would find one.  Let’s take a cue from current situation.  People base their decision to vote for a particular candidate in elections after listening a great deal to their speeches and speeches are nothing but words.  Words used with great articulation, punctuation and emotion to connect.  So it’s all about words. Words can make or break.  One should be watchful, tactful about using words, if possible artistic as well 🙂

That was all about how to use your words – Right words, right time, right pitch – job done period.

But how come words can be a source of income.  I say why not?  There was a time when I was searching my place in this cosmos writing came to my rescue.  I started writing and I am here in front of you, with you precisely.  These words are my way of communicating with you all.  But blog writing these days is a reliable source of income for many who wants an additional stream of income or simply a comfortable office space not hovered by a boss around.  Not just blog writing, but content writing, technical writing, review writing, script writing, column writing… you name it and there will be numerous employers who are ready to shell out their pockets for those who can use their words artistically coupled with knowledge.  And if your pen have poetic flair and mind have imaginative bent then words can dance to your tune followed by fame and we call such people “Lyricists and writers”.  Remember old classics that you still hum and feel relaxed or a book that you have read nth number of times but it still gives you the same high every time your eyes meet it.  That’s the magic of beautiful words.

To put it shortly and sweetly its all about how you use words. They can rescue you from your boring cubicle 🙂  Give “words” a chance they have power.

I AM MY WORD AND MY WORLD IS MY WORD 

All of us have been told to believe that you do not have control over your future. You can control your present but not your future. And I beg to differ. I know that I can create my reality and I have done it time and again.

When I was a young girl, I loved to play with my Barbie dolls – like all other young girls do. We used to play this very common game of role play wherein we give characters to those dolls – one of them becomes a mom, another one becomes dad, some other become kids and friends and so on. Then we used to create stories out of it. Most of my girlfriends created stories which was replica of what they saw at home – mom staying at home, dad going to office, kids going to school etc. But when I created stories, they were totally different.

My Barbie doll was always a working woman staying independently. She owned a home, a car, was extremely busy at office during the day, used to come back home late evenings after spending time with friends. She used to read a lot, dance a lot and she used to stay with friends. I created those stories by voicing them out over and over again every evening while playing.

At the age of 24, when I was attending a 3 day seminar in “Landmark Education” – I heard my coach say that you have created your reality. The words that you uttered in the past are now your world. I started to reflect on that statement and almost instantly had tears in my eyes. I was so moved when I realized that I had become my Barbie doll. My life was exactly the way I had described them in my stories. And then from there on I started to find even more such examples that I had said words that actually became a reality.

There is common saying in Hindi – “Shubh shubh bolo” (Always say good things). I found the reason behind that saying. Because your world takes the shape of your words!

I have always wondered how is it possible to spread cruelty? How was Hitler able to inspire the whole nation of Germans to kill Jews as brutally as they did? How do the masterminds of terrorists groups manage to inspire their own people to kill so many innocents and in the course kill themselves too?

I read Mein Kamph (autobiography of Hitler) which was responsible to quite an extent in spreading the cruelty. And I realized that Hitler created his reality and by spreading his words – he created the reality of his nation and its people which was full of devastation. And that is exactly what the terrorists group does. They use words on young boys and girls – powerful yet negative words which create the reality for all of them. Such is the power of words.

What reality do you want to create? Watch your words. Your words have the power to create empowering and positive future for yourself and for the people you communicate with. Your words also have the power to destroy your future and that of the people you communicate with. What is it that you want? Ask for it in form of words and it shall be given.

CAN I  HAVE A WORD WITH YOU!

“Can I have a word with you ?” Or “We need to talk” or “I have something to say to you”, these are the statements that invoke a discomfort in me, making me think of all the wrongs or mistakes I did in the last ten years, seriously, I get wary of the person and am on my guard instantly, ready to defend myself, even if I know that I have been good to him/her. Such is the power of words, they have an instantaneous effect on us, changing our whole outlook and reaction to the situation. 

I was a lazy kid, notorious, and used to do many things that would amaze and surprise my parents, both pleasantly and unpleasantly, and every time I would get a scolding from my mother. One time I called a aunt of mine ugly to her face, she made a racquet of my silly mistake(yeah, silly, she was ugly and I was just nine), she told everyone and mum scolded me, “you have no sense, no respect for elders, no manners, you are being rotten by your father”, I would listen to all her words, but the minute she mentioned my father spoiling me, I will shout back and retaliate ending up getting more scolded and often papa would come to my aid, which would result in them having a roaring fight over my upbringing, while I would be sitting in a corner totally forgotten, watching them fight. I often wondered why papa handled me like a piece of cake while my mother thought I was a untamed rogue, and one day I realized its only Words. On my same mistake my father would say “I will support my girl, but you shouldn’t have done it my darling, haven’t I taught you to respect your elders ? Will you let people say that I haven’t given any manners to my only daughter, will you let papa down ?”, and never again in my life, I would repeat the mistake. In a way he said the same thing, but he rephrased it, adding compassion to his words, he made me feel I am not being opposed or suppressed, but I am being guided, and it became my aim never to disappoint him again.

I was so annoyed at a junior one day and I told him “you are the most stupid person on the face of this Earth”, his face lost color as he heard them, he hung his head and went away without saying a single thing to me, leaving me standing there feeling utterly cruel and heartless, but I learned from this experience and the next time I was furious on a girl who had made numerous mistakes, I told “this is the most stupid thing you have ever done”, and she smiled sheepishly, said a polite sorry and told me she will do it the right way. I called them both stupid (I know I know, I am short tempered), yet the girl was pleased while the boy never talked to me again, this is the power of words, I made the boy feel worthless and he lost heart, and went away feeling humiliated, while the girl was happy that she hasn’t been stupid before at least (oh come on, she spilled ink on my days work) and decided to make amends.

“Words have power. Words are power. Words could be your power”, said Mohammad Qahtani, who won the Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking on Saturday, Aug. 15, 2015. 26 alphabets to play with, and the power to play with them in our hands, we can make them MAGIC or TRAGIC, we can make them BITTER or BETTER. 

Bless your words !

 

HOW TO HAVE GREAT TALKS AND PRESENTATIONS

What makes for a good communicator, teacher or speech maker? While talking, personally, I’m never at a loss for words. I know some people who know me are probably shaking their heads a bit, saying, “You certainly can say that again Steve, because you certainly do talk a lot! I hope they mostly say it in jest but I probably do talk too much sometimes but most of my conversations are two-sided, which is good thing.

As a kid, I was as hush-mouthed as a mute. I kept everything inside and never spoke from my heart or my deep feelings. I found it hard to talk. But once I found my voice, I bolted out of the gate and I haven’t stopped since! I’m kidding a bit here, because truthfully, it was a slow process for me to talk to people on a deep level but now I do it pretty much every day with pretty much everyone I meet.

Recently, I had three group-presentation talks. The first one was with college academics—professors. During that talk which was on personal safety and security where I bring up some emotionally packed examples about being a victim, I saw that two people had tears in their eyes. At the end of my scheduled 60 minute talk the chief administrator told me that she didn’t want the presentation to end. That during most staff presentations, everyone, including her, usually wanted them to end quickly, but not today.

And in another talk, a few weeks later, I was told that everyone’s attention stopped and stayed with me during the entire talk. That talk was mainly about caring, trust and camaraderie. And just recently, I had the privilege to talk to another group of men and women where one person told me that he had goose bumps during the talk.

Now granted the topic areas that I talked about were important ones for people and I know the topics well but there’s another important factor that made these talks work. All three of those talks came right from my heart. And please do not gloss over what I just said. Because that is the secret to a rock-star talk or presentation. An interesting example that I’ll never forget is the story of the math teacher. I once taught next to a college math teacher for several years. Our classrooms were right next to each other but we never talked to one another. Well, one day, I received an award at the school for having the best retention rate of the teachers that year. This basically means that I had the least amount of dropouts from my classes.

After getting the award the math teacher came up real close to me, and for the first time ever, started talking to me. He told me that I had it much easier than him to win that kind of award. Expounding, he said the subject matter I taught, Criminal Justice, lent itself to interesting and motivating possibilities, much more so than math could ever be. He said that one could not make math too interesting or motivating. I kind of went along with what he said not wanting to rock the first conversation I ever had with my neighbor teacher, but I wholeheartedly disagreed with him.

The only way to teach really well or do a presentation well is by instilling passion and reality into what you are teaching or talking about. If my math teachers would have done that with me and which is certainly possible to do, I might now be able to add more than just two plus two and get it right.

Not everyone, in fact, most presenters (and I include teachers in this group) will not do this in their communications. They’ll do some of it and many will be good teachers but the majority will not, at least not day in and day out. I understand that many do not communicate this way and I’m not too judgmental about it, but I do have to say that not everyone should be a teacher or a presenter. I feel that if you’re going to stand up and pontificate or teach, do it well. Get into it and get your listeners into it. You owe it to them. And if you’re not giving that to your group do not be surprised if they don’t like you, or that they day-dream as you talk, or perhaps drop out of your class or do poorly if you’re formally teaching them.

I say, talk or write from your heart to everyone out there who believe it or not, is JUST like you. Believe in your audience. Believe that they are grand human beings waiting to be a part of you and everything around them in life. Everyone wants to be better in their lives. Everyone. Make your presentations just that. True, positive, passionate, one-on-one talks, even if there are hundred that you are talking to. Make their lives better off, if just a little bit perhaps but better off nevertheless and they’ll listen to you. Do it with real passion and real concern coupled with your knowledge and you’ll be a rock star presenter. If you cannot muster real passion and real concern for the people that you are going to talk to, stop presenting and let someone else do it. Listeners, deserve quality.

Don’t worry about the few snobs who think that verbal communication should consist of long drawn out and rigid by-the-book, academic conversations. They are wrong and should matter little to you. The vast majority of rock-star teachers or presenters are just like you with a great knowledge of their craft shared with their passion and heart.

It is a huge privilege to talk to groups of people. What a fantastic opportunity of communicating one-on-one with so many people! Be truly yourself and be delighted to talk to them. They’ll sense that you’re real and that you’re there with and for them. And when that happens, you are off and running like a champion race horse and doing it like a star!

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Steve Kovacs is the author of Protect Yourself: The Simple Keys Women Need to be Safe and Secure. He is the host of the Internet Radio Talk Show, The Kovacs Perspective http://www.thekovacsperspective.com/ where he interviews experts and interesting people. Steve’s background is in law enforcement, security, investigations and teaching. In addition, Steve was a political and current events radio commentator for several years and also a college Criminal Justice instructor. He is also the president of a small specialty security and investigation company along with being the owner of an Ohio self-defense studio: ALL SOURCE SECURITYThe Mayfield Academy of Self-Defense. Contact Steve any time at:info@thekovacsperspective.com

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