DEAR TONGUE….

Dear Tongue you got 32 Guards

But still, you break the bars so Hard

Talking things that sound so Bawdy

You call it Trash, but I call it Gawdy

They say it is the thing of current Mass

How one becomes so downright Crass

Some say it is Macho and Masculine

I would say it’s insultingly Obscene

Profanity, Blasphemy, swearing, cursing and Name-Calling

Hashtag everything, 140 characters are enough for Trolling

Culture, Class, Etiquettes and Manner

All have died under ‘F-WORD’ Banner

Patience is short, and tongues are Sharp

No one can play this out of Sync Harp

Polite words and soft Conversations

With Kids around just have Regulations

Some small mishap is not your Cue

To get loose mouthed and go all Blue

Nothing is gained by being nasty and Rude

All things sour with few words Crude

Communication gaps cannot be Bridged

Abusive words make profound this Ridge

 

PROFANITY IN EVERYDAY CONVERSATIONS

“She’s my bitch!” 

“Yo wassup dawg?!”

If you’ve been around in the world (of course you have) you’ve heard the above statements that have become a sort of fashion statement these days. ‘Hip’ girls and boys referring to their friends or their boyfriends/girlfriends thus and without any qualms too. Note that the intent in the above two statements is not to ridicule or slander, but to express affection for a friend instead. I don’t know when and how this started but weren’t those two words supposed to mean an insult? At least I would be very offended if someone called me a bitch. I don’t suppose this shift in how we perceive these cuss words came about because our generation was suddenly swayed by a sense of brotherhood for our canine friends. Nope! But used affectionately or in a derogatory way, the context doesn’t make their usage any less offensive. They’re both representatives of how profanity has permeated into our everyday parlance.

Profanity today has seeped into our everyday vocabulary to the extent that some things are best described only by the use of derogatory terms. For example –

Shit happens.

Life’s a bitch.

What an ass!

What the fuck is that?

Profanity has shifted, or should I say has been promoted, from being something used only to cause offence to something that sometimes conveys an idea best. But perhaps this shift in how we perceive the use of profanity now is the reason why we hear so much of it in everyday conversation.

Remember the time when you would get a stern look from elders for using terms as mild as ‘stupid’ and ‘shut up’, while today ‘shut up’ has become an equivalent for ‘seriously’ or ‘really’? When language starts to accommodate ‘foul’ in the ‘fair’ category it naturally leads to a downfall in the quality of language and the smudging of lines on what is acceptable and what is not. There is a reason why language from old books and period films sounds classy and sweet. Its because such allowances in language were not allowed then; a bitch meant only either a female dog or an insult to a woman; no other meaning to that expletive was allowed and entertained and the usage of the latter was frowned upon. What’s more, people considered it a part of good manners to keep their tempers and tongues in check.

When language is courteous, foul language automatically is kept under control because its use is considered taboo. But when language starts to get discourteous, starts passing off cuss words as normal usage, ‘wassup bitches’ is what you get and since today we are being trained to see these cuss words not as an insult, therefore even a derogatory ‘son of a gun’  sounds like a phrase used for appreciation.

But why do we use profanity? What makes its use so compelling? We’re all humans, we’re prone to getting angry and letting our mouths run loose along with our imaginations and getting creative with expletives. In some cases, it is even considered cool to use foul words, but what I don’t understand is why we use them at all? Forget about all the morally right reasons for not using bad language and just for a minute concentrate on the practical uses of foul language. What do you get?

Beyond the perverse joy of watching someone’s face fall and getting a kick out of it, or letting off steam, foul language really doesn’t serve any purpose because – 

A.  It doesn’t get the point across. The one being abused closes his mind to any attempt at conciliation or a fair argument thereafter.

B.  It makes the user sound uncouth and vile.

C.  It’s a waste of time and energy because it resolves nothing.

Oh, but it feels so gooooooood, did you say?!

I know that! I’ve been there, done that too. But apart from being branded a ‘bitch’, I didn’t accomplish anything else out of using profanity. I lost plenty though – friends, goodwill and face. I was the proverbial smart mouth who everyone liked to steer clear of and it was the reason why I drove myself into a lonely place. Coming out of that place was tough, and I’m still trying to mend the bridges I tore down.

As someone who’s been both at the giving and receiving ends of profanity, what I’ve come to learn is that using foul language is like using sarcasm – it’s perceived as something cool and witty, but is actually an infantile preoccupation of an egotist who does not have control over his emotions. Sure in some circumstances, both foul language and sarcasm are deserved, but I would say in most cases, a greater revenge would be to laugh in the face of your abuser and never give them the satisfaction of letting them get under your skin.

Coming back to the original theme of this article, the allowance of profanity in everyday conversations has led to a degeneration of language because we have taught ourselves that it is okay to use foul words even for expressing our appreciation or love. It sets a wrong precedent for not only our generation but even the ones coming after us who would only learn that there is no ceiling to how foul-mouthed you can be because by then the lines between courteous and uncouth words would have blurred to the extent that terms like ‘bitch’ would be regarded as both an appreciation and an insult. When we ourselves make such allowances in language we do not have the right to point to the younger generations and cry foul. Can you really blame a teenager who calls her friends ‘bitches’ or ‘dawgs’ when he/she has seen others do the same? Its unfair to them.

We should either clean up our own act or shut our eyes and ears to the degeneration of language and consequently the degeneration of our morality. Restraint on language also translates to restraint over temper because the use of foul language is a kind of vent for a frustrated soul, so that if you keep it in check, chances are your temper too will subside quickly, but if you over-indulge it, soon your hurt ego will not be sated by the mere use of foul language. It will deviate to worse alternatives. Not to generalize things but an example is that of an abusive parent and one who controls his tongue.  Who do you think is more likely to beat down his own children?

We need today to teach ourselves and our future generations that while expressing our love or anger is alright, the use of profanity to do so is absolutely unacceptable. The languages of the world are rich and flexible enough to provide enough room for creative expression without resorting to the use of bad words. If your tongue is sweet it will only invite more sweetness from others. Nobody likes a barbed wire.

Featured Image: 1820796 at Pixabay

SWEET SEASONINGS

 

SONY DSC

 

Be careful how you wag little tongue,

Not causing anyone by you to be stung!

 

Hither and thither by leaps and bounds,

All through the day you take too many rounds.

 

A small muscular medium of communication are you,

Preciously formed by the Master Sculptor True.

 

So vital an organ to aid verbalization,

Significant for expression of limitless imagination,

Critical to lucid articulation,

Giving clarity to difficult gesticulation.

 

But, Oh! How big a fire can you cause,

By the tiny spark that escapes from between the jaws,

How deep a heartache can you incite,

By words of anger that seem to bite.

 

Spicy gossip and merciless slander,

Frequent lying and mindless banter,

Malicious talks and injudicious comments,

All filled with spurious contents! 

Easy it is to tame a horse by bit and bridle,

So tough it is to prevent the tongue from idle fiddle.

Not too much effort to control the ship by a rudder,

Oh so arduous to restrain the tongue’s endless blabber!

 

Both sweet and salty waters can a spring never yield together,

And so ought the tongue not give praises and curses altogether.

 

Words seasoned with salt are words that build,

Grace and mercy forever yield.

 

Words of love work as soothing balm,

They can all the stormy seas gradually calm.

Words of light and truth wield power,

That is loftier than any tall tower.

Prudent use of silver speech,

Many an uncanny silence does breach.

 

May your words be honourable and pure,

So that they never any guilt conjure.

Words of praises and eternal bliss,

May your lips forever kiss.

words_ofta_1

CHOOSING RIGHT WORDS TO IMPACT

Mom : “So, you will not go to the party tonight?”

Me : “But I dont know anyone there”

Mom : “You know us!”

Me : “I just wont go!”

Mom : “Oh wait!! Your favorite aunty will also be coming.”

Me : “What!! So, when is the party?”

Words, can do two simple things very effectively. One, it might socialize us. Two, it might unsocialize us. They become the building blocks of our social behaviour. Our culture has always allowed others to judge us, even when it is said not to judge people. Being repeatedly humiliated by relatives at a function or being termed mature or naughty or bad or “I told you he/she will be like this” stuffs do break us. And many a times beautiful, caring, how cool, smart uplifts our soul. Judging us, people use their either sugar coated words or sour straight words to express our character. And at a point it becomes our character. Society really does have a huge impact on us because the refinement of their words affects our emotional well being, either positively or negatively which in turn affects our social well being.

Negative impacts come easily than positive. They just come. But in all these cases, the particular thing that affects all sort of activities is the brain. Brain activities are controlled by the genes which expresses physical and emotional stress. These genes basically sends signal to our brain to release hormones which affects the logic, reasoning and thinking processes. So each word, whether positive, negative, angry, sad or happy has its impact on our brain, which in turn regulates our behaviour according to the hormones released. So, if we stay positive and build our brain to be more logical, then we can get back to the person (who had hurt us) and give them a more logical yet rather hurtful statement to take care of? Hmmmm thinking of it, might be or not also. But if we know that certain things do hurt, so why use it to hurt others? Why to carry on using words as weapons and not medicines?

People who use positive words in a friendly and loving manner are able to achieve many things. They can calm an angry person, they can persuade a person not to kill himself, they can divert the direction of a breaking relationship, they can also make this world a better place to stay. Recently, I saw a video on facebook, of how a sergeant saved a suicidal man from committing suicide. He started a conversation with the man and then he talked about games. Then he slowly got him off the bridge. This is how it should be. This is how we should use our words. For the betterment of mankind. I have attached the video for all of you to watch:

In this world, nothing comes easy. If we try to use our words in a right way, may be we not only will see positive changes in our life but also of others. We might not be very social, but we can at least ensure no other person gets what we got. Who knows it might move a large number of people one day, and we might finally live in peace.

Many a times we find ourselves bounded and trapped in a web of words. And escaping it is easy for them, those who dont let these word affect them. Emotional and sensitive people are more likely to create a nuisance out of it. I have had a friend who used to take every word we speak to heart. She would even make a fuss about who accepted her apology and that they shouldn’t have. Believe me when I say, such people are very hard to handle and please. That’s where “Think before you speak ” comes into force. We cannot get rid of people we love just because of what they are, but we can choose to use more finer words in order to save our relations.

Similarly, words do save us and they can also drown us. It is how we use them and where.

WATCH YOUR WORDS …

One of my friends shared a pic of hers on WhatsApp, titling it as “No more glasses”. She underwent LASIK surgery.

I was taken aback with what she did, because her eyes are unusually small in proportion for her face, but glasses made them look big and she looks quite pretty wearing her glasses.

I asked her if she had a problem with maintaining her glasses, to which she expressed that she is tired of being called “four-eyed” or at times even “blind”. I suddenly remembered how other students used to make fun of her during our school days.

I always thought that she never considered those comments, but they did leave a long standing impression on her mind about herself. They are so profoundly effecting her that she considered a surgery better than living with such condition. That’s so bad.. Infact people around her forced her to undergo a surgery.

Many of us would have been through or would have read about such experiences elsewhere. Can you imagine what goes through a child when he/she gets to hear words like ugly, fat, lazy etc ?? Whether they are so or not they would imagine that to be true and constantly find themselves in a battle against the odds others are finding with them. This can be extremely upsetting, depressing and also lead to anxiety and fear . They may also feel unloved.

I find it very surprising and upsetting with kids who are around 4 year old use words like f***, shit, screw you,  really makes me think from where do they learn these from. Mostly from parents, family and the entertainment channels we have. Kids grasp new words very quickly, the more we repeat,  they do get registered in their brain more significantly. It then forms a habit, due to which unintentionally they would utter words which can be hurting or insulting to others. 

Similarly, having a control over words is the most toughest. Not only the words, but the way the words are delivered and our intentions have to be very clear. While in anger, frustration we uncontrollably say words that may be very depressing to others. These words may not be true and are not uttered because they are well thought of, but if you look deeper into it, it goes on to explain that we don’t know how to communicate. 

Communication is essential for us. We have created so many words and languages to express and for better communication. We build trust and our belief structure based on our words. Using words is the best way to communicate and let’s use these ONLY to make our lives more beautiful.

Loving and caring words build positive relationships where as harsh words can ruin a relationship built over years in under a minute.

WORDS CAN EARN YOU- FAME, MONEY AND MORE

Hi Everyone,

Shakespeare said:

“Words are easy, like the wind; faithful friends are hard to find.”

How apt!  What I deciphered from this quote is it is very hard to find right words for the right moment and the one who knows this art can win every situation.

We are in times where presentation and packaging is so important and words are an important part of that machinery.  People tend to forget actions but words carve a deeper place in their memories.  If you don’t believe me go back in time and check your General knowledge/ social question papers.  There will be one such question for sure which asked you to name the person who quoted following words.  I am sure you would find one.  Let’s take a cue from current situation.  People base their decision to vote for a particular candidate in elections after listening a great deal to their speeches and speeches are nothing but words.  Words used with great articulation, punctuation and emotion to connect.  So it’s all about words. Words can make or break.  One should be watchful, tactful about using words, if possible artistic as well 🙂

That was all about how to use your words – Right words, right time, right pitch – job done period.

But how come words can be a source of income.  I say why not?  There was a time when I was searching my place in this cosmos writing came to my rescue.  I started writing and I am here in front of you, with you precisely.  These words are my way of communicating with you all.  But blog writing these days is a reliable source of income for many who wants an additional stream of income or simply a comfortable office space not hovered by a boss around.  Not just blog writing, but content writing, technical writing, review writing, script writing, column writing… you name it and there will be numerous employers who are ready to shell out their pockets for those who can use their words artistically coupled with knowledge.  And if your pen have poetic flair and mind have imaginative bent then words can dance to your tune followed by fame and we call such people “Lyricists and writers”.  Remember old classics that you still hum and feel relaxed or a book that you have read nth number of times but it still gives you the same high every time your eyes meet it.  That’s the magic of beautiful words.

To put it shortly and sweetly its all about how you use words. They can rescue you from your boring cubicle 🙂  Give “words” a chance they have power.

I AM MY WORD AND MY WORLD IS MY WORD 

All of us have been told to believe that you do not have control over your future. You can control your present but not your future. And I beg to differ. I know that I can create my reality and I have done it time and again.

When I was a young girl, I loved to play with my Barbie dolls – like all other young girls do. We used to play this very common game of role play wherein we give characters to those dolls – one of them becomes a mom, another one becomes dad, some other become kids and friends and so on. Then we used to create stories out of it. Most of my girlfriends created stories which was replica of what they saw at home – mom staying at home, dad going to office, kids going to school etc. But when I created stories, they were totally different.

My Barbie doll was always a working woman staying independently. She owned a home, a car, was extremely busy at office during the day, used to come back home late evenings after spending time with friends. She used to read a lot, dance a lot and she used to stay with friends. I created those stories by voicing them out over and over again every evening while playing.

At the age of 24, when I was attending a 3 day seminar in “Landmark Education” – I heard my coach say that you have created your reality. The words that you uttered in the past are now your world. I started to reflect on that statement and almost instantly had tears in my eyes. I was so moved when I realized that I had become my Barbie doll. My life was exactly the way I had described them in my stories. And then from there on I started to find even more such examples that I had said words that actually became a reality.

There is common saying in Hindi – “Shubh shubh bolo” (Always say good things). I found the reason behind that saying. Because your world takes the shape of your words!

I have always wondered how is it possible to spread cruelty? How was Hitler able to inspire the whole nation of Germans to kill Jews as brutally as they did? How do the masterminds of terrorists groups manage to inspire their own people to kill so many innocents and in the course kill themselves too?

I read Mein Kamph (autobiography of Hitler) which was responsible to quite an extent in spreading the cruelty. And I realized that Hitler created his reality and by spreading his words – he created the reality of his nation and its people which was full of devastation. And that is exactly what the terrorists group does. They use words on young boys and girls – powerful yet negative words which create the reality for all of them. Such is the power of words.

What reality do you want to create? Watch your words. Your words have the power to create empowering and positive future for yourself and for the people you communicate with. Your words also have the power to destroy your future and that of the people you communicate with. What is it that you want? Ask for it in form of words and it shall be given.