HOW LOUD CAN I BE?

The environment is the surrounding within which we humankind live. Humans and the environment are interdependent. The environment around all the humans were created for their benefit and they were given the responsibility of taking care of the environment as well -“The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it“, this is what the Bible says. 

But the biggest question arises here – “How do humans take care of the environment?” Or if we specify it more of a personal level, then the question may be, “How do I take care of the environment?” Or “What is my bit for the environment?”

While trying to understand what is my environment first, I came across the term environmental psychology which is explained – Environmental psychology is an interdisciplinary field that focuses on the interplay between individuals and their surroundings. The field defines the term environment broadly, encompassing natural environments, social settings, built environments, learning environments, and informational environments.

Now, the term environmental psychology gave me a clear picture of my surrounding, that is my environment and how I can improve it for myself as well as for the future generation that will follow after me.  

Let me give some imageries before I talk about – ‘my bit for the environment’.

Mostly people from joint families talk louder than the people brought up in nuclear families. Why and how does that happen? When there are more people in a family, one tends to speak louder to another to communicate well overlapping other conversations between other family members in that same family.

Think about the people in the slums and the ones living on the streets… they play loud music and scream around speaking coarsely. But those of us living in a proper house tend to play music with a moderate volume and have manners to speak gently. The reason is the same – to let our messages conveyed overcoming the noises all around us.

At home when our soft voices are not heard by the person we are talking to, we shout or scream after two or three failed attempts to communicate gently. I get a reaction from the other members at home when I shout, “Why are you shouting?” My responses to them goes like this, “Because you are not able to hear my soft, gentle voice”. I shout a lot as I was brought up in a joint family.

But when I was contemplating about my paternal family, I see they all speak gently than my maternal family. They even shun shouting. I tried to find out the reason behind it. One reason could possibly be, in my paternal joint family we all gather during vacations once in a year but in our maternal joint family, all the members live together throughout the year.

Why am I talking about speaking loudly, shouts, high pitched sound, etc.? Because sound has terrible effects on human health ultimately causing damage to the environment as a whole, according to the definition of environmental psychology. The social settings are disturbed because of the effects of high-pitched sound or noise.

Noise pollution is an invisible danger. It cannot be seen, but it is present nonetheless, both on land and under the sea.

Noise pollution impacts millions of people on a daily basis. The most common health problem it causes is Noise Induced Hearing Loss (NIHL). Exposure to loud noise can also cause high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep disturbances, and stress. These health problems can affect all age groups, especially children. Many children who live near noisy airports or streets have been found to suffer from stress and other problems, such as impairments in memory, attention level, and reading skills.

Noise pollution also impacts the health and well-being of wildlife. Studies have shown that loud noises cause caterpillars’ hearts to beat faster and bluebirds to have fewer chicks. Animals use sound for a variety of reasons, including to navigate, find food, attract mates, and avoid predators. Noise pollution makes it difficult for them to accomplish these tasks, which affects their ability to survive.

The above description is about the effects of high-pitched unwanted sound or noise on our environment at large but it has adverse effects on a very personal level as well. When in the family we shout, people in front of us get irritated and shout back at us. And the tension keeps building up with further shouting and loud responses.

The Bible instructs us like this –

A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath,
But harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.

And we all know, harsh and careless words are always spoken with loud voices (though there is gentle venom as well).

So, my bit for the environment is to promote gentle voices in the family as well as in the community I live in while I force my own voice to go down as much as possible. Sadly, I always speak in a loud voice. And it is a constant struggle for me to speak gently and wisely. I am striving hard. I am sure for the sake of my social settings, my surrounding, my environment I would change my habit.

Are you ready to follow it too – “How gentle and soft can I be?”

Stay Blessed!!!

 

 

THE BEST WRITER STIRS THE EMOTIONS OF READERS

This week went so well as we wrote about each other applauding our works on Candles Online. I was drooling joyfully over the emotions stirred by Prabhjot dedicating an article for me, but after reading what Kuljeet wrote about Aastha my previous emotions were replaced with a fresh set of emotions. Both of them have been my all time favourites. The more you read their articles, the more you feel connected to their soul. The reason was clear they write from their hearts.

I took the opportunity to read a few of their old articles to quote them here in this article and I never could stop my smiles and tears. I found an article that Aastha wrote on 28th December 2016. It was on a 12 years old boy whom she met on a train. The whole story made me very emotional and feel proud of my sister, Aastha. One paragraph hit me hard and I want to share that here – “Often when we know what other factors can contribute or hinder our hopes, we tend to fall prey and lose hope. Without hope, there is absolutely nothing in life. This is where we need to find our balance back by holding ourselves. Everything that happens, every situation we handle has to make us more stronger and prepare us for our future struggles.” How insightful this article is! Don’t forget to click this and read it.

“Do you really want to carry a burden on your chest for a long long time? Or is it better to share with a trusted person?  Sometimes the things are not as bad as they seem to us. Getting another person’s perspective helps“, says Kuljeet in one of her article which is full of good advice for all which we need in our life.

The above two are my personal best yet if I am asked about the writers who are professional and never at a loss of words or skills then with my eyes closed I will choose three people – Sulagna, Saakshi, and Pradita.

You might ask ‘Why these three’? Then better read their articles to know them well.

“It’s also important, to be honest with yourself about which ones are your real regrets and which ones aren’t. If you make a mistake here, you might again be stuck with wrong decisions“, says Sulagna while writing on the topic – Your Regrets. Give a read to it and you will learn a lot from this article. And if you are hooked to it then go on and read all her 8 powerful articles. I seriously miss her on Candles Online.

My gold digger, Saakshi wrote a blinder for the topic – The Attitude of Gratitude, explaining how much she is grateful to a man who has been serving her family for more than 20 years. She says, “Now to capture Noorie (I gave him this name out of affection as he often complains that he became almost a women doing womanly chores for my mother and me) in words is like trying to collect all the sea water in a Coca-Cola bottle.” Read this light-hearted article and feel fresh. And if you again feel like picking up another book from Saakshi’s library then you can do so without giving a second thought.

Pradita, the name itself lets all of us here on Candles Online expect of something fabulous and amazing. Writing on the topic – Shadow of Sin, she wrote how the abuse of power is a grave sin.  She says, “Most positions of power occur over monetary reasons or in positions of trust. An abuse of power in such situations is not just a sin, it also breaks the faith of the subordinates who look to the power wielder for support, guidance, and leadership.” She is excellent in every way. Tell about, the formatting of the articles, the selection of appropriate words, presenting the subject matter and the flow of the article, everything looks perfect and professional. She never gives me the stress of checking the errors, formatting, adding a picture, etc., she does everything herself.

Sadly, the above three are not regular writers. But they are the best.

In the end, coming back to the same person whom I mentioned earlier, who made me travel through a memory lane this week, who made me emotional, who wrote an article wonderfully dedicating it to me I would like to say she has been the icon of consistency and persistence. Prabhjot is a writer who has always been straight forward and flamboyant. One of her articles is my all time favourite where she raises questions against the mindset of young girls who thinks negative about their looks. She says, “Remember – Looks are only part of your personality. It is as significant as your intellectual capabilities and your emotional balance. And beauty is not just about your looks – it is about your holistic personality.” She shares her own story and how she used to think previously while motivating and encouraging many others through this beautiful article.

If I go on talking about my co-writers then this article will never come to an end. Someone rightly said some time ago, “Candles Online is like a library with so many books written by many authors“.

So true! And I believe that they all have the art to stir the emotions of their readers…

So what are you waiting for? Start reading and giving your valuable feedback.

Stay Blessed!

A WOMAN WRITTEN IN MYSTERY IS WORTH A CURIOSITY TRIP

Since I became a part of the Candles family, I have come to know each and every writer in this family through their writing. Except a few, I haven’t met any of them personally.  Reading the articles written by them gives me an insight into their lives. Usually, their writings are a small window into their minds, the thoughts, and experiences that have shaped them and made them what they are today.

One of my favourite writers in this group is Aastha. Her formal introduction on WordPress goes this way “I am a techie by profession, beginner in writing. Writing for me is the lone time for dwelling through my inner self. I try to be honest and express my true feelings through my writings.”

Well, I don’t agree with the beginner part of it. Her writings have the depth of a seasoned writer. But I do agree with the second line that writing for her is dwelling through her inner self.

I perceive Aastha as a beautiful demure girl. But when I read her articles they seem to be saying – “Be aware… I’m demure but my pen is not…”. This is my endeavour to understand her a bit more through her pen.

Aastha, The family person: I love the way that she has portrayed her bond with her family  – her sister, her parents. The articles like “In an envelope… “, “It’s relaxing and rejuvenating…“, “It is the only doorway to understand someone…” and Imposed pressure to stay strong” give us a peek into her childhood and her khatti-meethi relationship with her sister while growing up, the influence of her parents.

Aastha, the storyteller: Either she has a lot of friends, or she is the type of person in whom people confide easily. Or she is a very good storyteller. Either way that’s what makes her writing appealing. You know for me long and preachy articles with only advice don’t work. An article is interesting when it’s anecdotal. And she gets it bang on with articles like “Wrong decisions or wrong perception” which is the story of Nidhi and her disastrous marriage. Another one is “Use freedom in the best possible way” gives us an account of Ujwala and how she misuses her freedom. Or another very readable article is her counselling talks with Akshay “Holding each other“. Or the virtual relationship of Isha and Kartik so remarkably described in “A Virtual Blessing in disguise“. It’s surprising how she puts across her point without making it sound like a lecture.

The emotional, honest and strong Aastha: After reading her writings I have a distinct feeling that she has experienced a lot of ups and downs in her life. And I am so glad she finds solace in writing and shares her innermost thoughts with us readers. “She is a walking miracle” the story of her sister’s birth who was born with a birth defect and how the whole family coped with it will surely provide a lot of comfort and support to people going through similar circumstances. Another one is her own conversation with her doctor about her being so stressed that she could not even cry – “Sometimes a good cry can cure what a good laugh can’t“. “Ripple effect of Suicide” is a story of her friend Siddhu who committed suicide. I don’t know how you do it Aastha but you bare your heart in your articles and they sure do touch the reader’s hearts.

The funny bone is also very visible in the amusing description of an embarrassing moment (“That awkward moment when…”)

One of her best articles is when she shows her most vulnerable side and explains her feelings of loneliness “Maybe someday I’ll come home to a pair of compassionate eyes“.

Whether or not you understand more about fighting your inner demons and overcoming them in “Adding colour to life is in our hands” “when personal and professional lives collide” or you empathize with her strength and physical resolve in “The secret behind me being disciplined“, I am sure you will appreciate her honesty in accepting her shortcomings and conquering them in “The journey of finding myself in my own backyard“.

The Knowledge giver Aastha: Not all articles are emotional there are well researched and knowledgeable ones like “Secret sauce to effective education…” about the education system in Finland. Another informative one on her hobby gardening is “In the solitude of trees“.

I can just keep writing on and on. I hope I have been able to decode the real Aastha at least a little bit.  If not, I will just sum it up in her words. In a reply to a question in the face to face section (“I am in the spotlight – Aastha“), this is what she said…

What is the one thing you desire to do during your lifetime?

“There is a strong craving in me to be loved and be understood at a deeper level. It would take another person who really wants to look into me, which is not in my hands. So, meanwhile what is that I can do??? One day, I aspire to be a torchbearer for a change, a positive change that would make this world a better place. I am working on it.”

Hoping it turns out so!

(Dedicated to @aastharao)

SHE HAS INFLUENCED ME

“TEAM” is always a mixed bag! Isn’t it?
Indeed, our Candles team is such a bag! We have approximately 50 odd writers from different corners of the world. Each of us is of a different personality, some of us are very jovial – some of us are very playful – some of us are extrovert yet a handful in our team are just of the opposite personality – they are reserved – introverts – talk less YET all of us love and understand each other’s differences. In this bunch of good souls, I got to know a lady who speaks less, thinks creatively, very matured and a lady of wisdom. She is also an avid webzine writer and a professionally trained Counselor. If I would ever recommend any lady to learn on Personality Development, then I would recommend her to this lady of our Candles team. I met her only once but her personality has really influenced me. Presenting before you the lady I found with inner beauty – our beloved Rajnandini Sahu. 😊

Among many virtues in her, let’s take our cup – How She Writes and What Does It Reflects About Her? 

“A good article not only presents values and information.

It also represents the character and the belief of the author.”

Indeed, being a reader, that’s how I always evaluate my authors ‘flipping the other side of the coin’ and critically analyzing their belief. Because in the world of endless voices and teachings on morals, ethics, and principles, at the end of the story all that we look for is reasoning and internalizing the values that we take away. In the long run, that’s what our life output will be. The deeper sense of reading is shaping of our inner man. 

Being a reader the first thing that always affirms my belief in Rajnandini’s article is – it is purely ORGANIZED and always has a Logically Constant flow of thoughts – Experimental Capability and has Relevance.

Some of her articles have truly marveled my heart and affirmed my belief in her sharing. Let’s take a couple of glimpses of hers’:

THE BRAND CALLED WOMAN: On 2017 International Women’ Day week, she published this article. Often in such presentations, we take the track of Racism to race along. But Rajnandini was exceptional, she presented womanhood from God’s viewpoint and alongside didn’t dirty her hands by throwing mud at manhood. She was soulful in presenting the beauty of togetherness rather than playing the blame dice and uplifting feminism.

RECOGNITION FOR A PURPOSE: We all look for the recognition of our work but recognition becomes evident when our work is well articulated. And each of her articles is always presented with utmost clarity. Undoubtedly, she is gifted with the art of articulation. 

THE EYE – THE LAMP OF THE BODY: Often articles come with flamboyant captions but the presentation seems disjointed. It seems like the author is scrambling for thoughts. Being a reader and meticulous observer of her articles, I always found Rajnandini being keen in the logically consistent flow of her thoughts in every of her article. In the 6th paragraph of this article, she has beautifully canvased Eye as the Lamp and how evident it is to believe.

APOLOGISE, IF YOU HAVE ERRED: I always believe reading to a reader is exactly like looking at a mirror. We look at the mirror to bring perfection to our face, so is the true reading. As the reader reads, he realizes his flaws in life and internalizes the alterations. Being a reader, I found that in this article of hers.

In the world filled with so much of imperfections, how can someone pen with fineness?

Well, the 19th century American Author, Madam Helen Keler said,

“Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible in bright moments

as well as in trouble, we cannot fully respond to its consolations

because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness”.

Almost all of Rajnandini’s articles are finely tuned to the Biblical values. I am quite sure that’s what makes her words evident to the reader’s life, as she formed the habit of going to the Bible at all times.

It reminds me of the Bible verses,

The Word of God is like a mirror that shows how duplicitous our life is!

It is indeed the lamp to our feet and light to our path to a life with perfection. 

(Dedicated to @sizzlybizzly)

PERFECT EXAMPLE OF LIMITLESS CREATIVITY

Close to 7-8 years back, I was going through a period of distress in my personal life. Writing greatly heals me so I started my own blog for which I wasn’t getting any readership. I started browsing looking for platforms where I could publish my blogs. I came across an interesting article on Wrytestuff.com (another blogging website like Candles online). The article spoke about how connecting with God really helps. Since I was going through a hardship, I found the article really helpful. I posted a comment on the article thanking the author for bringing some inspiration in my life. Along with this, I too registered myself as an author on wrytestuff and started blogging endlessly.

For a few weeks, I did not get a reply on that comment. I was checking it quite regularly because I really wanted to connect with this author. I almost thought this guy must be some established author, maybe too arrogant to reply to a petty comment on his article. But one day he replied and to my surprise, it was a very warm and friendly reply. He mentioned that he was away and had not logged into this website for certain reasons. He too became regular with his blogging and we started following each other quite regularly. Wrytestuff had certain assignments for the writers, I remember waiting for his article so that we could talk about it. There was no WhatsApp those days, so we used to chat over Facebook and Gtalk.

Needless to say, we had endless discussions, debates, generation of new ideas and fun together. One thing led to the other and I contributed to Candles for the first time on his request. At that time candles was a printed version. I was very surprised to see his dedication over getting Candles printed and distributed as much as he could in his personal capacity. Eventually, in July 2015, candles online was born. And he catered to it like a baby. Right from designing the logo, bringing up the website, hunting for writers, keeping the writers family close and connected, basically being a great leader to Candles – he did everything. I am so glad that I am connected to him as a friend.

Just like his first article gave me strength and inspiration, even now I browse through his articles when I am looking for strength. Often I have tried to analyze what it is about his writings that I am so attracted to. I have realized that he is God loving person, he draws his strength from his belief in Jesus. I have always been a non-believer, non-religious person hardly ever resorting to prayers when I am in distress. His articles mostly talk about his belief and love for God. The kind of person I am, sometimes I also used to find his articles a bit irrational (usually when my super logical mind takes better of me). However, almost always I find his articles very soothing and comforting. I wouldn’t say that I have started believing in God now but something inside my belief system has shaken after knowing him for so long and working with him.

As a friend, I know what his hardships have been, but the article “Reinventing self is finding joy in our hardtimes” really brought tears to my eyes. I realized how one person’s belief can help him pull through even in worst of times. My hardships may be different than his. My ways of searching for comfort are also very different than him. But there is connect that I feel when I read this article which is very comforting. There are many more of his articles that define his concept of God so clearly. And even though I don’t have a strong belief, it helps me a lot to get going during hard times. When I am lost in this chaotic and super confusing world, his articles gives me that ray of light that I know if I follow I would be taken care of. This is enough to pull me up together and move on.

On a lighter note, he also writes good humor. Among many of his light-hearted articles, my favorite is “How on earth am I in the midst of babies”. This one is really funny and I like the way he manages to bring out humor even in the situation that was painful for him. The way he has told his tale in this article is very simple and funny.

It is not just the articles but the way this person brings out the creativity in each of us with his great ideas and close to perfect execution of these ideas is commendable. He initially came up with face 2 face interviews, a great way to connect with different people and bring them in the spotlight for our readers. My favorite interview is “Kalpana Vogeti – A woman who believes in smiling from within” To extend these interviews he even came up with an idea that all writers must interview each other and that resulted in a week of Spotlights named “Discovering Self”, this makes me feel like closely knit family of writers who are quite daring to bring out their lives in open for the world.

A few months back, he started the story relay – this concept turned out to be a great hit among the writers and readers. We started with the story “What is Home?” However, my favorite is “The Road to Home”.

To keep the readers (and writers) engaged, he also started with FB Best Caption and Charlie’s Wish. Needless to say, this man’s creativity is limitless. He is not only a great writer but also a great leader and an awesome friend. I am so glad to be the part of this team which is no less than a family headed by our dear Charlie. His name is Chiradeep and he is often referred to as Boss or Charlie in our group. He is the glue that keeps this family together and Candles burning forever.

(Dedicated to @chiradeepnf)

A SPRING IN HER STEP SPEAKS OODLES

An adroit writer, an ace homemaker and a doting mother gifted with nimble fingers for expressing the brimming creativity within her – be it by way of painting or craft skills, a brilliant smile and sanguine temperament that promises to add buoyancy to a weary day – this is KALPANA VOGETI, the writer I’ve virtually met in the blogging platform of Candles Online.

What I most admire about Kalpana is the way she brings out the best in her in even the most trying circumstances. Though I don’t know a great deal about her, from the little I know, I can vouch for her abilities to tide through testing times.

As a writer, she is versatile, vocal, meaty and inspiring. There is a gentleness in her articles that surfaces to me as a reader.

COME WALK IN MY SHOES FOR ONCE! This post of hers rates high on my all-time favourite blog list. In this post, she writes about the challenges of parenting sharing slices from her experience, especially the pressures as the mother of a special child and how she copes with them. As a Counsellor, having dealt with many children with autism and the phases that their parents go through, I’ve seen the toughness of the practical life – parents breaking down, giving up and losing hope. I’m sure deep within she has been through these episodes time and again, but has risen with renewed vigour to make the best of each day – for her family and for herself. Though the path is rugged, I pray for God’s constant strength to you all through.

STOP PASSING THE BUCK – This is a second favourite, which was originally published in her own blog. In this piece, she very aptly points out how each one is responsible for corruption but easily passes on the responsibility to others. Too much finger-pointing, but no self-ownership. In fact, this is why corruption thrives despite many assessments and controlling agencies being in existence world-over. A much-needed article for the times!

SOCIETY CAN YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS PLEASE – And here’s my third favourite where she addresses the issue of people poking their noses into everyone’s business – especially to aggravate matters that need not be, but refusing to raise a voice when it is much needed. If people can’t speak up when it matters, they need not speak up when they are uncalled for. She has very nicely brought out an unpleasant reality that we all live with and are part of, at times.

Kalpana’s articles are from the heart – wise expressions of experience and thought.

Let me also tell you that of all the bloggers in this group Kalpana has been one who has got the highest views and comments more than once. Speaks of her Midas touch!

Scoot ahead Kalpana – Candles Online adores your presence and your readers appreciate your skill.

God bless you to help make a difference through your inspiring articles!

(Dedicated to @world4womencom)

YOUNGER TO ME YET WISER THAN ME

Candles Family have a special place in my life.  There are things that I can share with family members of “this” family rather than my “that” family.  I mean it with all the integrity I have 😊.  And among my lovely family members, I found a cheerful friend who is playful in his words, teased by us a lot 😁, an active participant of all the discussions and a person whose wisdom is reflected in what he writes – meet my friend Avinash.

Why I like him? Because he thinks I am a star writer and never ceases to drop in a comment on my posts 😂😂. Well, that was a lot of boasting, kidding and a selfish reason by every means of it. But this isn’t the reason, trust me. As a reader I found his write-ups to be very soothing, providing guidance amidst darkness for he clings, perhaps holds tightly to the word of God always. His words reflect his sheer belief in the path shown by the almighty.  N-number of times he shared his life experiences where his belief got him to the shore. Those moments are pure bliss as they hand over me a note of hope.  After all hope and love are what we need to steer us through. And Avinash has them in abundance.

As I was going through his posts, one article is of close resemblance to my own experiences (one very latest as my son left home only and thankfully to be found soon), click here for the same: REACTION ON THE 11TH BIRTHDAY EVENING!!!

Mothers behave the same no matter to which generation they belong to 😁. And he understands that very well.  Apart from articles whenever we talk one to one, his demeanor is that of a sweet supportive friend.  Time and again I fail to keep up with my pace to read and respond to articles but that never discouraged him from sharing his work with me. And on apologizing to him (I am a “Sorry” Woman as my friend Chiradeep says) Avinash drops one message to sum it all “No worries, I understand” and that keeps us going.

He once posted a photograph of him with a little child selling stuff in a bus. That showed his humane side. When people of his age are more concerned about merry making he is striving to do his part in making a difference with his little gestures and sensible articles.  His wisdom and belief amaze me. I wish I could draw at least a fraction of that.

Once again I would like to extend my thanks to my extended family for giving me such a sweet friend for life whose words are a great guide to me in the time of need.

(Dedicated to @avinashdas)