THE DESIRE OF HAVING A DRESSING TABLE

Life is quite unpredictable and one has no idea what’s next. The only thing that is certain about life is its uncertainty. Still, life brings so many beautiful and sweet memories to us. Today I am going to share one such sweet memory with you.

This picture reminds me of an incident when I was still in school. I was studying in the 9th standard. During that time my Dadi (grandmother) was alive and I remember she was quite old. Her face had numerous wrinkles and freckles. She was told that she faced quite difficulties while walking. She had a wooden trunk and also a shabby looking box made up of tin. She used to keep them locked and kept her things into it. Upon being asked what’s inside them, she used to say that she keeps her lovable possessions. At times, when she opened her trunk and box I had a few opportunities to see what’s inside them.

One day when I was done with my lunch and was heading towards our drawing-room, my eyes caught her attention. I peeped inside her room. She was sitting on her bed and her trunk was wide open. She was holding a mirror in her hand and was looking into it. Since her bed was near the window of her room that opened in the passage leading to the living room, I could clearly see how she was looking into the mirror. The mirror was quite old-fashioned and had several dark spots on it. It seemed that somebody deliberately sprinkled some dark colors in the mirror. Still, my Dadi was looking into it. She tucked her loose strands behind her left ear and was observing her wrinkles and freckles. She adjusted her large specs and touched her cheeks. I wanted to ask her why she was looking into such an old mirror in which her face isn’t clearly visible. But then I saw a small teardrop rolling down her cheek and I stopped myself from interrupting her. After some 15 minutes, she carefully covered the mirror in a cloth and tucked it inside the trunk.

I couldn’t stop myself and therefore, one day I asked her about that mirror. She said, “I was seeing how old I have grown. When your grandfather was alive, I used to put kohl into my eyes, tie my hair, put bindi, and look myself into the mirror. I used to ensure if I am looking well. But when your grandfather passed away, I never felt like doing any such thing. After all, he wasn’t there to admire that kohl, a nice bun, bindi, and jhumka.”

“That mirror was a gift from your grandfather. I never had a dressing table and I always wished to have one. I often asked your grandfather to bring one for me,” she said further while taking a deep breath.

“One day he came home and handed me a packet. I opened it and saw a mirror in it. He said, ‘I can’t afford a dressing table for you but you can consider this as your dressing mirror. Place it on your wooden trunk and then you can sit down and get ready.’ This is why I have been keeping this mirror for all these years. I used to keep it on my wooden trunk along with my comb, sindoor, bindi, hairpins, and oils. Though I never had a conventional dressing table, your grandfather somehow fulfilled my dream of getting ready in front of a dressing table by giving this mirror and suggesting to put it on the trunk.”

I don’t know what happened to that mirror after she passed away. But that trunk still stays in her room. The trunk now has her comb, two old sarees and a part of the wooden frame of that old mirror. It stays there unused but full of memories that my grandmother cherished till her death.

MY RANSACKED HOUSE

“Couldn’t have a better weekend”, I said to myself, as I was on my way back from a weekend stay in a resort. I was accompanied by me and myself. Yeah! It was a solo trip and I had the greatest break of my life after the pandemic got over. It was such a calm and relaxing experience that I felt rejuvenated and pampered. The lazy mornings, nature walks, and the peppy evenings added to the bliss. 

“Ma’am, we have arrived”, said the cab driver, as I was lost in my daydreams about the trip. 

I got down and headed for my home. I rang the doorbell. 

No answer. 

“Are they still sleeping?” I wondered about my husband and kids. 

I took out my mobile phone and called my hubby. 

No answer. 

Tired, I took out my house keys and opened the lock. 

“Oh, My My!” I shouted as I couldn’t believe what I saw. 

My house was all topsy-turvy. The drawers and cupboards were open, the furniture was haywire, and everything was lying on the floor. 

Was it an earthquake? How come I didn’t know? Robbery? Where’s everyone? 

Millions of questions were erupting in my mind and my heart was racing hard. 

I wanted to shout and call out my husband and kids, but it seemed I lost my voice. 

Crash! I heard glass breaking into pieces. 

“Mummaaa… ”, cried my younger son. 

“Whaaaattttt”, I got up with a jolt. 

“Get up mumma, I spilled the cereals as the jar broke. Sorry, please don’t be angry.” He pleaded. 

“Mumma, it’s all his fault, I didn’t do anything”, my elder son clarified. 

“What have you boys been up to?” I shouted at them as I saw the house in a mess. 

“We were playing and wanted to eat some snacks and so we started searching and… ”, the boys tried to explain. 

“So YOU ransacked the house!” I said. 

“Ransacked? What?” My elder one asked. 

“Never mind, I had a terrible dream. It’s ok. You go to your room carefully and I will clean this up.” I replied. 

“Welcome back to reality!” I smiled as told myself.

WHAT IS REST FOR YOU?

I have too many To-do lists for different times of the day and different activities. So, what are all types of “To Do” lists that I have on my phone (using various different apps) . . .

There is a To do list of household chores for each day. This is an obvious one – I think all women have it if not on the phone then in their heads – List of household never-ending chores.

There is another one for office work. Of course that is needed to keep things in structure at work.

There is yet another important one that contains the list of things I have to do on my commute to and from work. It takes me about 1.5 hours to reach work and that is an important time that can be used quite well. This list contains items like ordering online gifts or groceries, writing articles for Candles, sleeping, watching movies, checking emails and replying to some, talking/chatting on phone with few people, read news etc.

These 3 hours in bus are totally a “Me-time” for me. This is the only time I get to do things that matter to me. Of course, it is not very convenient to do all this in a bus – but if you know Bangalore traffic, you would know that this traffic really crawls. So rash driving is not really a problem.

Relaxation doesn’t always mean vacations. It could be a small time out as well. Something that you just do because you like it. Doing things that you are passionate about can be very relaxing.

There are days when I am so stressed out mentally that I have no energy to think anymore. However, my physical energy is too high, it is so high that I am not tired physically to sleep but mentally I just want to rest. This is what is called a restless sleep. At this time, all that is needed is to match the energy levels of your physical and mental self. In this situation – I hit the gym. And that is rest for me. Because my physical body works out and my mind gets to rest just listening to music. It is a huge stress buster for me after a bad day at work. Once I come back from gym – I am all ready to sleep peacefully.

Definition of rest is different for different people. But it is important to know what is rest for you. If you do not know – life can be extremely difficult.

My 2 year old son is not mature enough to understand that he is sleepy when he really is sleepy. He is so interested in playing that he resists sleep till he has even an ounce of energy left. But playing in a sleepy state is also not enjoyable for him. He is cranky, doesn’t like his toys, cries every now and then, starts hitting others – all this because he simply doesn’t realize that all he needs to do is to close his eyes and rest.

This happens to adults also when they don’t realize that if they take a restful break – life will be much better. Make sure you identify what is relaxing for you and you fill the voids in your day with that activity. It doesn’t matter if it is sleeping, watching TV, listening to music, going for a walk etc. Don’t judge yourself about what you do during this time. Just be yourself and take enough rest and relaxation so that you return to your life feeling more motivated and productive.

BEST SLEEPING POSITIONS TO AVOID SLEEP DEPRIVATION

We had a great week on the most talked aspect of life: “Sleep” and it was a very fun filled and informative week. Yesterday we saw Dr. Anupam spoke about the time we waste spending on sleep only which ultimately make us unproductive.  And tonight I will talk about “our sleeping positions & patterns” which might end this week with little more fun. 

I was reading an article by  Melanie Curtin. She states, “A human being will actually die of sleep deprivation before starvation–it takes about two weeks to starve, but only 10 days to die if you go without sleep.” This implies how important is sleep in our life.

But I was quite amused to read her this line when she says, “Those who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases that include hypertension, diabetes, depression, obesity, and cancer. It’s thus vital to get enough shuteye, but it turns out your sleep position also has a significant impact on the quality of rest you get.”

So a good sleeping position is also important for a good rest.

My Mom says when I was born I was found sleeping with my one leg up on the other like a “Nawab” (Moughal King). Wish I have a picture of that… But I don’t have. 😦

But do you know what is my favorite sleeping position now? I love to sleep with a pillow between my legs and belly… Something exactly like this as shown in the picture.  

Yeah yeah I know you find it funny… Now stop giggling… 😉

Actually, I have seen many people sleeping like this. Even one of my cousin brother also sleeps like this with his mouth opening a bit especially when he is fast asleep. We always tease him for that. 

Some people sleep lay straight on their back and sleep flat like my wife sleeps. I really can not sleep like that at all. I feel breathless. I can sleep for sometime like that but not for more than 10 minutes. 

Some people even like to sleep on their stomach exactly reverse of the previous position. Sometime I like to sleep like this also.

For some people positions doesn’t matter. They can sleep anywhere at any positions. Like my Dad, he can sleep literally in any position and anywhere. One of colleagues is the same. I had taken a number of pictures of him during the office hours. 

Following are some funny sleeping positions which I had collected for all of you… they are really entertaining:

This guy reminds me of my cousin about whom I mentioned earlier in this article.

On a serious note I just want to conclude my article mentioning about the right position of  sleeping according to the neuroscientists. 

Neuroscientists emphasize that sleep reenergizes the cells of our body, aids in memory and new learning, and clears waste from the brain. Clearing wastes from the brain being the most important among all other.

‘Sleeping on our side’ is the most helpful of all sleeping positions in regards to clearing out waste from the brain… that’s what a neuroscience study suggested.

Melanie ends her article by quoting the neuroscientists and experts as under:

Sleeping on your side is good for more than just optimal brain functioning. It’s helpful for those prone to snoring, those with obstructive sleep apnea, neck and back pain, and for pregnant women. The position elongates the spine, which helps with back pain, and mechanically opens the oropharynx, which can help with breathing.

For best results, sleep experts, chiropractors, and physical therapists recommend the following:

1. Lie on your side, but not in the fetal position. (Some bending of the knees is fine, just not all the way up)
2. Use an ergonomic pillow under your head, thick enough that your neck is supported
3. Place a small pillow between your legs, such that your spine stays straight

Then, count sheep. 

So friends! Start practicing to sleep enough without distractions, but don’t sleep too much to be called as lazy and unproductive and don’t forget the right position of sleeping: “Sleep on your side” to get the best out of your sleep.

GOOD NIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT!

Stay Blessed!!!

SLEEP LESS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE

” The next time you are rudely awakened by restless children or overtly loud planes in a dawn chorus, remember this , for Penelope Cruz, nothing less than 15 minutes will do”
      Penelope Cruz , Hollywood Actress

Most people sleep more than they need to. They fall into the trap of spending some of the best hours of their lives on a mattress. They squander their potentially breathtaking gifts under the covers. They lose The Battle of The Bed. They trade their greatness for a snooze
button.

Here’s an insight I invite you to consider: sleep begets sleep. The more sleep you take, the more you need. Ever noticed that as you sleep more, you feel sleepier? Strange isn’t it.
But it’s true. Yes, I get that sleep is essential to keep us bright and renewed and healthy. My fear is too much sleep. The kind that keeps great people small. The kind that minimizes high-potential lives. The kind that sucks the living out of human beings destined to shine (and you know who you are). Happens to a lot of us. Because we fall in love with a pillow.

Evidence suggests that taking excessive sleep is counter-productive because you are more likely to wake up depressed and miserable. Research also suggests that if you are already sad and miserable, actually reducing the time spent sleeping can be of benefit.”
In fact, scientists still know very little about what constitutes the perfect night’s sleep and why we seem to need so much of it. Despite centuries of endeavour by some of the finest minds, the biological function of sleep remains a mystery, and precisely what
goes on in the brain and body during it is also unknown. As late as the middle of the last century, sleep was thought to be a time of inactivity when the brain switched off and took time out, but it’s now known, thanks to modern scanning equipment, that the brain is
highly industrious during sleep. The eyes may be closed, but behind the shutters there is a hiveof activity.

One of the most persistent theories down the centuries has been that sleep is needed to allow the body to rest. But research shows that sleep deprivation has little effect on the body.

“If you deprive people of sleep, nothing seems to go wrong physically. We can usually rest and relax quite adequately during wakefulness, and there is only a modest further energy saving to be gained by sleeping. When we go without sleep it is our brain and thinking and behaviour which is affected more than anything else,î says Professor Horne. Sleep appears to be triggered by the discharge of particular nerve cells in the brain. These cells fire off messages telling the body to wind down and chemicals that cause drowsiness begin to circulate in the blood. Once we are asleep, there are two different types, REM or rapid eye
movement, which is the time for dreams, and deep sleep when there are no dreams.
The purpose of deep sleep,it’s suggested, is to allow the brain to recover from the day’s exertions,a time for it to regenerate and reorganise. It is thought that four hours is needed for this. While the body and its vital organs are kept ticking over, the brain works off-line on a variety of housekeeping tasks, including remembering, prioritising and filing experiences of the previous waking period.

Hormones are also produced during sleep to carry out running repairs and to boost the immune system ready for the next day. The skin, too,gets a helping hand, and so do muscles. Dr Neil Kavey, director of the sleep centre at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center, New York, says that sleep improves muscle tone and skin appearance. “With adequate sleep,athletes run better, swim better and lift more weights. W e also see a difference in immune responses depending on how much someone sleeps. 

Sleep is also the time when the body does most of its repair work, muscle tissue is rebuilt and restored. We know, too, for example, that growth hormone is secreted during sleep.î
Professor Horne says sleep must serve some vital function other than just energy conservation: “Whereas the body can relax and recover both when we are awake and asleep, the brain can’t switch off during the waking time. The idea that you can rest your brain without going to sleep is nonsense.

“While you are awake, the brain is in a state of quiet readiness ready
to respond. Even during sleep it only goes offline in the first four
hours, when some kind of recovery seems to take place.”

The importance of those first four hours may explain why some people can get by on a few hours’ sleep. Research suggests the average adult needs seven to eight hours a night, though, according to the National Sleep Foundation, only a third of us manages that. Disturbed or interrupted sleep is a common problem, although it seems to be normal for most people to wake once or twice a night. Sleep disturbance only becomes a problem if the sufferer feels tired during the day. Insomnia is lack of quality sleep rather than lack of sleep, and sufferers – up to a third of the population at some time – may have unwanted awakenings,difficulty in falling asleep or daytime
drowsiness.

Two out of three people in Britain suffer from insomnia, mostly linked to stress and anxiety, according to one study. People heavily involved in their work and job are among those at higher risk, especially in the 25-35 age group. And Sunday is the night of the week when we have the most sleep difficulties, possibly because the brain is already preparing for the week ahead. So is the Cruz school of laziness any better for us? Professor Horne is not convinced: “It is all too easy to eat and drink well beyond our biological need – that second helping of enticing dessert, the delicious ice cream, another pint of beer … the same applies to sleep,” he says.

“Sleeping for nine or more hours a night is not necessarily beneficial to health. We have studied people who extended their sleep for many nights,remaining in bed for 10 hours after lights-out and sleeping for as long as they wanted.“They gained little and discovered distinct disadvantages – it took them longer to fall asleep, they woke up more during the night and
found getting up in the morning to be no easier.”

MY LOVE STORY- BOLLYWOOD STYLE

Hi everyone,

Before all of you jump your guns,  it’s my romance with nothing but “Sleep”.  Yes its my sweetheart, in fact it is every adult’s sweetheart, who is busy toiling in everyday circus of life.

Sleep is not only my sweetheart, but my travel agent because it takes me to exotic locations on earth, deep into the ocean, high on clouds;  its my manager as it manages all my appointments with VIPs all over the world be it Obama (American President), Narendara Modi (Indian Prime Minister),  Amitabh Bachan (Indian actor) and the list goes on.  So who doesn’t want such a love interest.  And when I say I love “Sleep” I mean it, no ambiguity, and it’s not “I love you as my friend” 🙂

Now coming to my love story every afternoon and every night, in fact every minute I sit idle my darling says “main aayi aayi” ( I am coming), but I say, correction I have to say reluctantly “nahi nahi abhi nahi abhi karo intezaar” ( no-no not now, you have to wait).  In a fit of anger  my darling asks me why I say “bartan bula rahe hain, cooker seeti baja rahi hai” ( dishes in kitchen sink calling me, pressure cooker awaiting me).  Finally in the dead of night we embrace each other.  But just as no love story is complete without a villain we have a villain too in our fairy tale, and that’s “Alarm Clock”.  Every morning when I am lost in blissful arms of my love this villain shouts “subah ho gayi maamu”( wake up it’s morning).  And just like in a chase scene of a Bollywood drama I dodge this villain by pressing snooze button.  But alas I have to surrender to this cruel call of duty and get up singing “raat ka nasha abhi aankh we gaya nahi” ( night’s intoxication is still in eyes).

That’s why I request my love, let’s fly and go to LA LA land where there are no alarm clocks.  And I can sleep forever, err, not forever as neither I am a beauty as in fairy tale sleeping beauty waiting for my prince charming nor I am Urmila- mythological character again waiting.  I just want to have ammmmple sleep.

Isn’t it everyone’s love story?  Do let me know 🙂

SLEEP WALKING COULD BE DANGEROUS

I woke up with a jolt and found myself sleeping in an awkward position. Suddenly, I remembered that I am alone in the house because both my room-mates were out of town. Just then my fear of being alone came back to me. Earlier that night, I had taken extreme care to make sure that all doors and windows are absolutely locked and my room door is also bolted. There had been a theft in the neighborhood and that was what worried me. Before going to sleep, I made sure that my room door is closed tightly so that even there is a theft – at least I would be safe. Now when I woke up at about 3:50 am, I saw that my room door was wide open. I remembered closing it – how did it open then? In that very minute, my heart rate must have increased to a dangerous level. I almost believed that there is somebody else in the house too or there already has been a theft.

Collecting all my courage I walked out of my room to check. Everything was as I had left with just one difference. The balcony door had only one bolt whereas I had put 2 bolts. How was that possible? There was nobody else but me – so how did 2 doors open up on their own. Nothing else seemed to be out of place. I tried to think hard and I got a hazy memory of talking on phone in the balcony – maybe that was a dream. I tried to meditate to remember what actually happened. And after a few minutes I realized what must have happened. I walked in my sleep – I took my phone went to the balcony, dialed my boyfriend’s (now husband) number, he obviously did not answer. I then bolted the balcony door just like I usually do and came back to bed to sleep, while get on to the bed – I woke up. Dialed list on my phone confirmed, I actually called my boyfriend at 3:48 am in my sleep and with hardly any memory of it.

I have been a sleep walker and talker since ever. And I have done more dangerous things than this in my sleep. Thankfully, there had been no accidents yet. I did quite a lot of research on sleep to get rid of this dangerous habit. I realized one thing was very clear that whenever I was stressed about something or slept with some worry on my head, I would almost always sleep talk or walk. In this case, it was the worry of the theft that caused it.

I tried various things and one among that was to keep a sleep journal. I learnt that mostly dreams combined with stress levels causes it. And dreams are like episodes of a TV series, if we could remember them we could have a look at our subconscious and would know exactly what stories are cooked there. In this sleep journal – I logged my thoughts just before going to bed. Also I kept the journal just next to me, so whenever I woke the first thing I would do was to log my exact thoughts. Whether it was midnight, early morning or late morning – I made sure that I always log my very first thoughts. After a couple of months of doing this, I could figure out a pattern in the relation between my dreams and my thoughts just before going to bed. It was a very interesting pattern and told a lot about my personality too.

I combined this with regular meditation just before sleeping and it helped a great deal. I also made sure that I never slept off while watching TV or reading a book. Writing the journal and meditation would be last things I do before going to bed – no matter what.

Now after 6 years of marriage – my husband has only witnessed some blabbering but thankfully no adventurous walks in my sleep.