TAKE A PAUSE AND RELAX

Hello Everyone,

Guess whose words are these:

Don’t lose life working for a living”

Can you?  Ok let me put a pause to this guessing game.  They are mine!  Sorry if it was in a bad taste but the words need thorough introspection. Let’s do it:

I start with myself: Last year August I went to doctor after suffering for almost six months with pain in the elbow.  After consultation and X-ray i found out that there was a serious swelling in the tendonitis due to excess work pressure accompanied by my neglect.  The treatment course continued for an equal period of six months before returning to normalcy. Though it was not terminal in nature to be discussed on this platform but the severe pain did make me cringe in the course of discharging my duties towards family.  Neglect was not worth.

This is exactly what most of the homemakers (housewives) do – Put themselves last.  In their bid to shoulder and handle the responsibilities of the household and loved ones they constantly neglect themselves.  One thing we must remember and never hesitate to answer – “If I am not in good state of health who will shoulder my responsibilities?”  Answer is NO-ONE because no one can, period.

*Case 1, points to be noted:

  • It’s okay to procrastinate a chore or two for few minutes or hours for that matter, no one is judging you.
  • Take an off in a week for sure.  I know weekends can never be day offs if one is a housewife for obvious reasons.  Then a weekday must serve so, it has to be that way.  Monday is my weekend 😉.

Do you go out and work?  If the answer is yes I would like to ask you few simple questions :

  • what are your working hours?
  • Do you work at (from) home as well?
  • How often you receive calls from your boss after office hours?

Well you can take your time to answer them one by one😊.

Surprisingly the definition or the limit of working hours is getting blurred and diminished making it limitless or infinite.   For example :  An employee who has reached home after tiresome day at office receives a call at dinner table from his boss asking for the details of an important file.  The employee leaving the dinner along with the family waiting aside starts working on his laptop while active on the call on the other hand.

This is not an imaginary hypothetical situation.  Blame it on the cut throat competition or the weak implementation of human resource laws  it is happening for sure (I have been a part of such work culture).  More of a need than choice sadly. What are the consequences:

  • Possibly an attractive incentive with skewed graph of time spent and moments cherished with family.
  • Bonus of reeling under work pressure and disturbed balance of relations.

Do you know that in France it is not mandatory to take office calls after working hours?  It’s okay to put automatic “Out Of Office” reply for mails once you are not in office actually. No one will question that.  The only reason is that the importance of having work and family time balance is given a thorough thought.  Balance is important for a happy life – least to be said.  Had only GDP been a measure of happiness then likes of USA would have topped the Happiness Index, it’s pretty simple.

*Case 2, points to be noted:

  • Bosses not necessarily love you:  Get this point clearly.  In contrast to the first case one should understand that as an employee of an organisation you are not indispensable.  If you are not in a capacity to perform there are many,  ready to grab your position and the employer won’t wink before taking the decision in favour of…. Well I leave it for you to decide.  Taking this into consideration you definitely need a moment for yourself be it a vacation or an evening with friends and family and that too often.  That would only enhance your productivity and keep you alive in the game.
  • It’s only you for the family and vice versa.  Respect the fact.

The crux of this page long discussion was “Pause And Relax“.  It’s good to work and you must, your work must speak for you, but remember  never let your work crush you.

 Relax, you are not Lazy.

Kalpana

TOO BUSY??? IT’S TIME FOR REALITY CHECK

Quite busy.”

Huh, very busy dear, just don’t know how time is flying.”

How recently have you heard similar answers when you’ve asked someone, “How are you doing ?” Some people are busy, extremely busy all the time. 

Personally I don’t prefer using the word ‘busy’; it is a negative word. To be honest, time is never a constraint, we are. I may defer replying a message by sometime or may not have answered a call but will definitely make time to get back to them. I will never say, “I was busy”. It may be rude to the person who wanted my time. 

Being busy has become a status symbol. In reality what ‘being busy’ means is saying, “I am important to me“, “I don’t have time to spare for you”, “You are not my priority”. It won’t give a pleasant experience for the receiver. A person can be occupied for a day or month, for many months – but if we are telling others that we are busy, we are bragging. I really feel sorry when I hear someone saying ‘too busy’. In the right sense they are mismanaging time.

On the other hand, for some reason a lot of people think, if we say that we have time, it may be perceived as we are not doing anything productive. This is true to some extent. I have had people ask me, “Others are very busy, can you handle this?” Just because I am making myself available does not essentially mean I don’t have anything else to do. If I feel the need I will take time out of my schedule to be there for you. When people take this for granted, compare my life with others and say that all others are busy, it feels like a slap on the face. Isn’t this mean? We have to change our attitude towards “busy”; it is not a good state to be in.

If I take my own case, I am neither busy nor lazy, but there are certain tasks which I always try to keep towards the end, simply because I am not interested. When I don’t pay required attention to those tasks on time, pressure builds up and eventually I will do it. This may not be precisely procrastination because not all the tasks fall into this bucket, only specific ones. 

Job, family, kids, friends, hobbies, passions – definitely all of these are very important, also demand considerable amount of our time.  We all have the same 24 hours and similar responsibilities. Over time if we are unable to manage, we are not planning our day in a way that we can efficiently meet expectations. In short, we are lazy to plan or execute. Our efficiency gets hampered, we multitask, miss our deadlines, we are setting up ourselves to fail. This phase needs an introspection.

A popular notion is “Busy is the new lazy”, at first this might sound harsh, but once we understand what it really means, it makes sense. Successful people are never busy. When I read autobiographies, I often am awed of how they managed time, that seems to have brought them success more than any other factor.

It is easy to find out if we are being lazy, we don’t need to be an expert. If we are being lazy in the name of being ‘too busy’, how do we improve ourselves to do justice for  life’s responsibilities ?

  • Keep a watch on your routine, make a note of tasks that are least important, like playing video games, getting involved in not so important discussions.
  • Make a schedule of everyday tasks, try to stick to it as much as possible.
  • Prioritize the most important things to be handled early during the day. This would help us not to have stress.
  • Find out smart ways of getting things done. For example, Groceries – order them online if required.
  • Focus on one thing at a time and see it through completion.
  • Keep your distractions to the lowest for increased productivity.

Life is too short to be busy. When we are not ‘busy’, we have more time to spend with family and friends, exchange ideas, time to play, take good care of us and others. 

People who are good at managing time always have time, others are always busy !!