Many people struggle in relationships, especially romantic ( love and marriage ) only because they aren’t being kind enough. When it comes to our parents, they don’t complain even if we are not kind to them. One might ask is being kind that important? Personally, I feel that is the most important aspect in upkeeping with the relationship. Being kind is rather simple but works wonders in relationships. So, how do we do that?
Do you surprise your partner with small gifts at times?
Do you walk up to your partner, wrap your arms around them to say how much you love them?
Do you regularly keep a check on your partner if they are feeling fine?
Would you voluntarily ask you partner if they want to talk when they are feeling low?
Do you assist your partner in day to day chores?
When your partner is sick, do you take good care of them?
Do you also do the dishes the day your duty was only to cook?
Do you greet your partner with a smile when you see them after a long day of work?
If nothing, can you just spare the day without complaining?
The list is not limited to the above. There are various small and big things we can do for our partners.
I particularly remembered one incident when the thought of kindness in relationships pondered in my mind. In the earlier team I worked in, we had a Usability engineer. She is an elderly lady. Way back in 2013 or so when I travelled to the US for some usability tests, she and I worked together collecting feedback from prospective customers. One day she walked up to my cubicle to say that she is going to pick me up the next day evening and I should spend the night at her place. That was the first time someone invited me home on overseas travel. It might be impolite to reject, so I hesitantly agreed to that proposal. On Friday evening, she drove up to the hotel I was staying in, and then took me home along with her. I spent that evening with her, her kids, dogs and cats. She arranged for a separate guest room for me. She decorated the room herself with flowers, alluring scents and nice food to top it all. I felt very honoured by her hospitality. For a junior employee like me, she didn’t have to do anything. She also taught me that it is very important to be kind and generous to others around us. This is not romantic I know, but kindness can really nurture any relationship. Kindness is extremely powerful when put into action.
In the monotonous life we lead, we sometimes forget that our partner deserves our undivided attention regularly. We cannot divide it between weekdays and weekends like we do at work. No matter how busy we are, it is incredibly important that we are present in the relationships we are in. The ways are numerous. A warm touch, subtle appreciation or a small gift goes a long way. The assurance we provide to the person we love is all they might need to have happy and fulfilling relationship. It may sound like being kind is easy, but , we should consciously ensure that we are there for the other person.
There are ways of behaviour that couples need to learn to express, share and receive love. It doesn’t matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert. Just think it through and you would find things you can do for your partner to make them feel special. Many teenagers and even people in early 20’s do not realise that the easiest way to impress a person is to be kind 🙂 It is not the flowers, the compassion and the thoughtfulness behind bringing those flowers is what’s more important
Being kind also leaves us feeling very positive and is foundational to enjoying happy and healthy relationships. So, just be kind, spread love.
Caution: Don’t make the mistake of being kind in an abusive relationship. That is counter effective. Your partner might start taking more advantage of you and your emotions.
Because that’s what kindness is. It’s not doing something for someone else because they can’t, but because you can.” – Andrew Iskander