HOW TO MANAGE AN UNAVOIDABLE BARRIER IN RELATIONSHIP

We had a great week discussing the barriers in any sort of relationships, especially marital ones. As I was thinking about those barriers, I realised they are to be very common and known to all and we always can try to rectify our relationships by breaking them at some point in our life. But there are a couple of barriers that are unavoidable and unbreakable in life. I am gonna talk about one today.

Usually, a sickness enhances any sort of relationships. How? When someone is sick in the family, all others in the family display their love and care for that sick member and that exchange of loving emotions enhance the bonding between each member in the family. This happens when the sickness is temporary and short term. But in the case of prolonged sicknesses, the exchange of emotions take a different turn.

The whole world now knows I am born with a cardiac issue. Being so, I was the centre of attraction, love and care in the family. But for how long? There were frustrations, bitterness, impatience and irritation that I had felt in my family members along with their immense love and care. Their love and care for me were supreme but they did feel negative emotions creeping in, at times.

My Mom, for example, had to stay back from all the family functions or travels all because of me. I used to be sick and she used to be taking care of me all the time sacrificing all her fun and joy. She never showed it, never made me feel. But at times, it did show up through her anger and behaviour which were natural and unavoidable though I was just an infant to understand those feelings at that particular stage of my life. I heard the stories of her sacrifice later when I grew up.

In schools and colleges, generally, boys and girls rely mostly on their friends. My friends didn’t have that reliance on me when it came to any physical activity, helping someone or in sports. In that regard, my health condition became the biggest barrier to establish friendships with many. I never had the guts or condition or state of adrenaline rush which define teenagers or young boys and girls. This is the foundation of my bonding with peers at that stage of human life. I missed or rather failed to either build or even sustain a friendship basing on it.

The unavoidable barrier of sickness which I was carrying with me was still manageable or can be ignored in all the above relationships or friendships at those stages of my life but when I became a man and there was a need for the higher level of relationship, I faced a real challenge. I reckon I missed out on establishing many possible relationships in my life when I became an adult. And probably for my sickness, many have fallen out after falling in for me. That’s an assumption, I don’t know it correctly, so let’s cut it out.

When I actually got into a bond, a marital knot, I realised how my sickness became such a deadly barrier in my relationship with my better-half.

I remember, we went on a trip to the mountains. And at one point we had to climb up to watch the sunrise on Kanchenjunga peak (Part of the Himalayas). She had to stay back because I can’t climb up. She did it for the sake of love but there was a tiny trace of frustration and unfulfilling desire that remained in her heart. I encouraged her to go up with others later. She climbed up with others but there was a trace of not being together or being alone imprinted in her heart. In my case, I had that anger and frustration within me for not being a man for my woman when she needed me to be the one. And there were many such incidents that brought bitterness into our relationship.

Was there a shortage of love between us? No, not at all. But the charm or the glow of our love was missing. Blame it on the barrier, the unavoidable barrier called, sickness.

Almost all the time of our life till now, she has been doing the outside work, household work as well as taking care of me. Her love and sacrifice for me add so much value to our relationship but the bitterness, frustration, stress out of doing everything all alone and being deprived of a few of joys in a relationship suck off all the juices out of our bond. Blame it on the barrier, the unavoidable barrier called, sickness.

Individuals like me, who live with chronic sicknesses are always very aware of how much our partners do for us. I often feel very selfish and guilty for being such a burden to others, to my wife. One husband says, “My wife lives with the illness, and I live with her. So, in a way, I live with the illness, too”. And these reactions of our partners hit us all the more as we can’t do anything about our own illness. Although if we think from their point of views, we understand how hurting it is for them as well. Again, blame it on the unavoidable barrier called, sickness

How to deal with this barrier in a relationship if we can’t avoid it or break it forever? I can share TWO major ways how I deal with it, though I struggle a lot at times even when I apply all my own tactics.

ACCEPTING the fact
It is applicable for both the sick partner and for the healthy partner. A sick partner should not feel bad or feel guilty of being a burden to his or her partner and the healthy partner should accept the fact s/he has to live with it. Instead of grumbling s/he should find ways to live with it happily otherwise it becomes more taxing for both of them. Accepting also means, keeping the communication channel open to talk about each other’s deepest and darker feelings considering the vulnerabilities of the relationship they both are in. Due to ill health all the time, a couple often feel sad, angry and overwhelmed and it is of utmost importance if they both open up and encourage each other to talk about their feelings without being judgemental.  Accepting is also knowing and understanding the painful thoughts and emotions that pop into our heads due to the presence of chronic sickness of one partner in a relationship. I haven’t seen her treating me as a sick person but have always considered my ill-health by doing things before even I ask her to do. That is her way of accepting me and my share of responsibility on her shoulders.

ALLOWING unthinkable space (or grace)
These kind of relationships are rare and should be managed differently as well. A person like me who suffers almost all the days of the year needs space to regain my strengths, joys and happiness to live further. And this happens almost regularly as the sickness is a regular affair. Similarly, the other partner, who does everything for his or her sick partner needs an enormous amount of mental space and strength to stay encouraged. Instead of terming it as Allowing Space, I will call it Allowing Grace to each other to pacify the barrier of sickness in the relationship. I’ve learnt to just eat whatever she cooks. That helps her not to be so worried about what to cook and how to cook. I don’t even interrogate her about where she goes and what she does. That is my way of allowing space or grace for what she has been doing for me all these years. Allowing that grace to her is in my hand and I do it wholeheartedly. When I shout or don’t talk with people, she makes others understand the reason and they understand it. She doesn’t look into my mobile or inspect what I do all day. This is her way of allowing grace to me.

Have I overcome this barrier forever? No, I can’t. But I am still managing to break a hole in it to keep my relationship with her alive and kicking.

It will be amazing when we take responsibility of managing to break through any barriers and make each of our existing relationships a sanctuary where each person can be seen and loved for who they are. 

Stay Blessed!

MAKE SOME SPACE FOR LOVE

Set the alarm for the next day, have put the kids to sleep, hand cream ✔️, moisturizer ✔️, time to hit the sack and before calling it a day one important ritual to perform. Praying ❎, Reading a book ❎, Writing diary ❎, it’s a ritual followed more religiously, relentlessly – social media surfing. Yes, this is my confession laced with a teaspoonful of embarrassment and gallons of regret. What is so embarrassing and regretful about surfing the social networking / media sites, the world is on it. Yes it is but somehow it is not being utilised the way it was intended to. I understand this is becoming quite a confused narration and preachy by miles. Let me make it more comprehensible, let me give you a detour of my state of mind few days back.

Scenario 1: I have a moderately right leaning ideology when it comes to political view. So when I find material vis a vis reflecting or condonig the same, I proceed further to check the comment section. That’s the trigger point!! I find people disagreeing, that is still fine but people abusing particular ideologies, preferences, religious beliefs hurts and anguishes me the most. The level of discord within reaches to an extent of leaving me fuming within myself. Be it Twitter, Facebook, Youtube – the content I am consuming is giving me information but the anger /resentment it fans is unmatchable. Looking at disturbed me even my husband expressed his fear of me being overtly getting effected or absorbed by sort of lunacy that seeks validation of viewpoints.

Scenario 2: Due to my family issues I have no social life whatsoever. And a peek into others’ lives via Facebook or Instagram made me feel “what a life!!” (Others’ life) and “what life😔” (my side of the fence). This emotion is not a regular affair though, yet been quite an acquaintance.

So in the first instance it’s the anger and resentment and in the second scenario it’s self pity that filled my heart. And these strong negative emotions are nothing less than weeds that once start yielding can empty our hearts of its rightful owner – LOVE. Anger left unattended turns into hatred, self pity whereas have many cousins like dissatisfaction, jealousy, pessimism. And together they are toxins of higher order that engulfs our wisdom, dwarfing us to mere numbers for government records.

So what did I do? I deactivated my twitter, uninstalled my Instagram, Facebook (account still active, me not so ), unsubscribed from many channels on YouTube and watching roast, reviews, creative stuff for entertainment and otherwise

Did it help? Yes, to a great extent. Mind is slowly decluttering. I don’t see countries falling Left, Right and Centre the way it was being projected. I have no idea about the mood swings or brawls taking place before or after that rosy picture that’s being posted on Facebook, then why I am losing out my mind and peace instead of enjoying the knitty bits of my life. My mental detoxification trial period has given me an important realisation :

There’s more to life than lifestyles and a set of ideologies.

Then what is impeding us from loving our life? Probably consuming the content without filter and discretion. Be it propaganda, entertainment or simply brand endorsements, vulnerable minds are the targets. Conscious and continuous efforts are put in to fine tune our minds sometimes to an extent of us belittling and putting down ourselves (and others too). This slow poison slowly drains out the logic and love out of her head and hearts. This is one of the prime reason for so much discontent, dissatisfaction, disorientation, hatred, abuse we see around. Respect and love for the most precious gift of life is lost!! This calls for a caution:

Consume the content, don’t get consumed by it.

End Note: Be pragmatic precisely. Devaluing the life itself is highly unpardonable and no amount of regret can restore the time lost in drawing parallels and nursing grudges. Loving your life have varied connotations. Self love – from skin care to designing and deciding career it’s more about “me” and “myself”. And nothing wrong with that because it’s always better to be a participant in your own life than a mere spectator. Whereas the deeper and profound aspect of loving life means to respect it, to be content from within, to appreciate it, finding peace within and reflecting / spreading it to everything and everyone around. Being content doesn’t necessarily mean not driven in life but what makes a difference is what is that driving force – jealousy/competition or service/token of gratitude. If we love our life the factors mentioned later are our drivers. Spend some more time with yourself, do something that you love or always wanted to do, infuse the lost interest in your life, rekindle your love for your life.

Social media isn’t demonic or forbidden ground to foray. There is a plethora of useful information that we can very well put into use for our skill or knowledge enhancement. So many instances of inspiring lives (not lifestyles but lives) get featured on these platforms that not only touch or motivate people but capable of changing life stories of many. To say the least a good source of entertainment. But it all depends on what we absorb, what amount of restrain we can put forth, how conscious we are. The idea was to make lives better, isn’t it? Then why we are letting toxins fill up our hearts and pouring out the nectar of love – love for ourselves, love for others and love for life itself?? Something to ponder.

I have learnt my lesson, have you?

SHUN THE BARRIER

Love is a beautiful feeling, an integral emotion and a wonderful experience altogether. Yet, love isn’t everything. And people come at the crossroads where they realize that love isn’t working anymore. Disagreement, turmoil, shortcomings and other disturbances ruin love, the basis of every relation.

Ujjwala, found her love during her yoga classes. A man used to learn yoga along with her. It was love at first sight. Both got attracted to each other and became close friends. Though she was madly in love, she refused to settle down with him because his nationality was different and there were many religious and social constraints too. Consequently, they went their separate ways.

Many relations succumb to the pressure from the couples and end their relationships. But, some people also stand up against such barriers, not caring about how they will be judged and treated. However, when the people in relationships become the barrier, the relation is bound to break.

Another friend of mine was highly disturbed lately because money was being a problem in his relationship. It was getting difficult for him to live on a foreign land and maintaining an expensive lifestyle. Though his wife was earning equally good amount, she wasn’t contributing in household expenses and refused to do so. As a result, my friend has got an aversion for his wife now!

Emotional barriers also make the relationships vulnerable. Fear of rejection, lack of faith, past experiences, etc., can impact the current relation and resist the people in developing a deeper connection. 

Love is a vital energy, yet the feeling of being loved can be often taken for granted. Love knows no boundaries, yet the boundaries get created sometimes in a relation, knowingly or unknowingly.

Be understanding, forgiving and appreciating to remove the barriers to love.

“OUR Love must be TRUE and WE SHOULD shun all the barriers AND WHAT IS EVIL IN RELATIONSHIPS.”

THE SELF – A BARRIER IN EXPRESSING AND EXPERIENCING LOVE

Love, being an intrinsic human attribute and need, cannot be effectively caged behind bars. It always yearns for expression. However, love cannot always be expressed and/ or experienced sans roadblocks. Though love faces many barriers in its way, I will talk about one major hiccup to expressing and/ or experiencing love.

The fly in the ointment is none other than SELF.

A few examples –

Joy could never love his wife, no matter how hard she tried to please him. Joy knew this was injustice for his wife, but he did not want to deal with it. The emotional baggage that he was carrying was proving hazardous for his marriage. His mother had deserted him and his father when he was a child. His devoted father had raised him up single-handedly. He had often heard his father lament about his wife of few years whom he had loved a lot. When Joy got married, he decided not to love his wife so that if she deserted him (as his mother had done), he would not whine away the remaining years of his life. Joy erected HIMSELF as a barrier between expressing and experiencing love. In his desire not to get hurt by his wife, he was hurting himself and his wife and was leading a lovelorn life.

Koyna never wanted to enter into a relationship with a man. She saw her friends in stable relationships, but spurned all proposals that came her way. She had grown up seeing her mother at the mercy of her abusive father and had decided in childhood itself that she would never be with a man. There were times in which she felt lonely and in desperate need for the arm of a comforting man around her. But, she had determined that it is better to be safe than sorry. Nightmares of her childhood haunted her all the while. Koyna had erected HERSELF as a barrier between expressing and experiencing love. She chose to stay away from smelling flowers, lest she ended up being stung by a bee.

Shikha had an avoidant attitude towards all her colleagues. No one’s hospitality could prompt her to socialise with others. She sat alone during lunch hours, never went for staff picnics, never attended official parties and never spoke beyond work with anyone whenever she spoke at all. She was fighting an emotionally draining legal battle with her estranged husband. Her health had begun to slide downhill. Her colleagues knew it all and few of them showed genuine concern and love. But, Shikha had erected HERSELF as a barrier between expressing and experiencing love. Her aloofness was killing her from within and from without as she refused to admit entry to genuine care.

Robin was a chain-smoker. No attempts by his devout parents to make him quit smoking were ever successful. He had screwed up his academics and had no fear of God or man. His younger sister had fallen off the terrace to her death when he was six years old. He had never been able to come to terms with it. Initially, he had held God responsible for not saving his sister. Later, he went on to proclaim himself as an atheist, going out of his ways to defy the existence of God and condemn anyone who spoke of God. He held his parents responsible for having built no parapets on the terrace of their new house which led to his sister’s death. Robin had erected HIMSELF as a barrier between expressing and experiencing love. He could not experience God’s love. He was bitter within and venomous without as he rejected the healing that love provides.

The names mentioned in the above examples are fictional, but the stories are not. When we hoist ourselves as barriers in the way of love, the natural inflow and outflow of love is hindered. A build up of plaque in the arteries reduces blood flow to the heart which can eventually cause a heart attack. A blockage in the pulmonary vein obstructs blood from flowing out of the heart and similarly leads to heart failure. It is only when the obstruction or the blockage is treated and removed that smooth inflow and outflow of blood to and from the heart is resumed and the person gets better gradually.

Life events are not always fair. We do not have answers to all the ‘whys’ of life. There are episodes which are within our control and some which are out of our control that leave us shattered. When we carry the baggages of these events and obstruct the expressing and experiencing of love, we start stifling ourselves towards a death of our souls.

SEEK HELP REMOVE THE BLOCKAGE

It is injustice to self, to wallow in the bitterness of life events when help is available to deal with those emotional baggages. At times, the issues are ongoing ones and a one-time cure is not sufficient. At times multiple surgeries are required to remove blockages completely. Seek constant help from the source available to you (it may be from a friend, a colleague, parents, Counselor or any mature understanding confidante) so that the blockage is removed and the barrier-less inflow and outflow of love is resumed.

HELP REMOVE THE BLOCKAGE IN OTHERS

We may undoubtedly have people around us who have erected themselves as barriers to expressing and experiencing love. Sensible sensitivity on our part would help them come out of their self-made cocoons. A hurting person would not instantly welcome your intervention or accept your suggestion for seeking professional intervention. What helps make the way in such cases is prayer. There is no barrier that is impossible for God to remove. Fervent intercession on behalf of such people would gradually make them open to work towards demolishing the impenetrable SELF that has stood tall long enough to make their lives loveless.

There are many barriers to love, but a conscious erection of the SELF as a roadblock mostly goes unnoticed or is often ascribed to other more obvious causes.

LOVE STORY BETWEEN HE, SHE AND THE SCENE-STEALER.

Love is an Expensive Trap. 😜

Being a fresh collegian, he always believed love is an expensive trap. Why waste your day just because your partner isn’t in a good mood or has some personal tension. Whereas he had no clue that just in a couple of years gap, one day at a time he will be the prey of that expensive trap.

Falling in Love is Emotionally Upheaval. 😄

It was in a student meeting of an inter-college camp he first saw her but being lost in his world he didn’t notice her much that day. A couple of weeks later the preparation for the inter-college camp started and there they became casual friends. As the preparation was of a week-long routine they meet daily. It was his first feeling of being close enough to a girl and there he got the new naïve emotional upheaving for a particular girl. The romantic vibes were slowly peeping into them and the desire of being together become more tangible. Somewhere the subconscious mind started humming the romantic songs of the 90s. Deep inside both of them desired to seat close enough and the break hours felt the two free birds flying together in an endless blue sky. The search for excuses for the random long talk was visible to others and they became the last people return from break. Even in practice time being lost in their world, they started sharing headphones and listening to the afternoon love songs streamed by the Radio FM Radio Chocolate. It was for the first time; he sent an SMS request to Radio FM and dedicated his favourite song from the Bollywood movie Mann for her. Though the rest of the campmates started teasing them but all they excused “It’s Just Friendship”.

She loved to listen to him and He loved to tell her.🥰

It was that fine early December winter morning the camp began. It was like the day they waited for, the more they were approaching their city junction the more they felt the speed of time is too slow. They meet and their two glowing smiling faces were too loudly saying, ‘It was a too-long night, I was just waiting for you.’ Likely getting a golden opportunity, due to some technical issues the camp started too late and he seized the opportunity to unfold his life story in tits and bits. She loved to listen to him and he loved to tell her. Somehow, someway that day passed by too early and the time to depart was at the door. He left her whispering, tonight I will be in my auntie’s home so give me a missed call once you reach home. All night he was just rewinding the whole day and talks and looks they had. As the clock belled 10 AM, he sneaked to the terrace since it was the perfect time to phone her as she will be in college and they had more than an hour conversation on phone. At every quarter, there was either a call or a chat. The very next day was their first date.

That fine January winter evening.

Understanding both of their strong feelings for each other, on his birthday his cousin demanded both for a gift and the demand was “PROPOSE EACH OTHER”. Almost after a month, one fine winter evening they proposed to each other.

It’s time for the twists and turns.

Gradually dating and hanging-out happened regularly. As someone rightly said, in small towns love stories aren’t easy to hide. As a defense it is said, don’t act like a cat thinking no one can see you stealing the milk. As his parents strongly opposed them, the twists and turns appeared. Amidst long years of frequent unpleasant situations, many worries, and family oppositions he strongly defended her thinking one-day at time things going to fall into the proper place. It is rightly said, “Man proposes, God disposes”. Because the future is known to God, not to man!

There comes the scene-stealer.

Though his urge and commitments for her were visible to her yet like a little casual attitude is enough to break a glass and the saddest part is, though you glue the broken glass, the mark and threat of another break are always visible. In the later year of their love story like the scene-stealer, a third guy quietly enters one afternoon steals his prey for the night and the love story ends unfolding many bitter truths. The next day to that horrific afternoon, he meets her parents and there’s he sees her mask of pretense. He was a complete stranger to her parents. They were only aware of the scene-stealer and they warned her about him. But for her, it was her one casual attitude that was powerful enough to crop her wings and imprison her forever.

To defend a lie, you need to cook stories.

In the end, his telephonic conversations with her cousin appeared voice modulated telephonic conversation and family holidays were the dates with the scene-stealer.

P.C.: iStock

SOMETHINGS AREN’T MEANT TO BE

Imagine the late 90’s… Young me in my first job. First, brush with the Internet. Luckily nature of our organization was such that we had unlimited access to the Internet. Life was fun with loads of work spiced with chat rooms and chat friends. Visual Basic was open in one window and the chat room open in another window (I know what you are thinking we did some good amount of work also). Actually, that was our window to the outside world. Met lots of girls and boys and chatted away on every topic under the sun. But as it happens some are bound to linger on longer and become good friends.

One of them was a guy in armed forces. And I was besotted with men in uniform. If you have grown up in the vicinity of IMA or NDA you will understand why I said that. We found that these Gentlemen Cades (GCs) were always more of a gentleman as compared to the boys we used to see in college or our neighbourhood.

Coming back to the story. I chatted with him daily. Even though he belonged to the same city as me currently he was posted at some far-off location. We became very good friends. We exchanged multiple messages or emails in a day. Even though I loved chatting with him there was no romantic nature to our talks.

As days progressed, he told his younger sister about me. She was very excited to meet me. She wanted to speak to me. So, I gave my number (remember these are the days of landlines only and one of the extensions of these landlines are always in parents room). Eventually, she called. I spoke to her at length. She was a pleasant chirpy girl. What I didn’t know that my Dad had heard the conversation and couldn’t figure out who this girl was as she was not one of my friends.

Anyways I was asked about her and I blurted out the whole story. Now comes the twist. I was not admonished or anything. Since he was from the same caste or religion as us and was obviously eligible. My parents thought he could be a good match for me. My parents met his mother (his father was no more). I met his sister. Saw his photo for the first time (imagine! How naïve!). And everyone seemed to like each other. Now that the families had put the idea into our minds. Our talks obviously turned romantic. He was coming home for the holidays. The wait began. 

I suddenly started liking “Kaho na pyaar hai…” songs. All mushy mushy.

When he actually came home. He called to meet me in a restaurant. That is where he dropped the bombshell that his family was the carrier of a rare genetic disease and he was a carrier of the gene. But if I didn’t have that gene then our progeny won’t get affected. Me the forever optimistic was okay with it… He said he was worried about his sister though as she was a female carrier and so chances of it being passed on to her progeny are very high. That will make her marriage very tough. I still thought it was no big deal and we will brave out whatever life has in store for us.

So all seemed set in our relationship. When one fine evening he called and said that his whole extended family was admonishing him that how can he think of his own marriage when his sister’s future was bleak… he had responsibilities towards his family… he was being selfish… he was thinking only about himself… the list of accusations was long…

And he called it off. 

My father was livid. He just exploded on him. No amount of talking or cajoling from my side changed his stance. And he just dropped out of my life. I was really heartbroken at that time. I didn’t understand what hit me. I was wholeheartedly ready to support him then why was I being punished.

But as they say, some things are not meant to be.

It is a sweet little episode in my memory now. Maybe we both were very young at that point of time to make such huge decisions in our lives.

I got to know from a common acquaintance that he and his sister both are happily married now. And me, I too am blissfully living with my hubby and kids.

WHEN YOU GET FRIEND ZONED

An eighteen years old girl – cluelessly, hopelessly romantic, believed in celluloid romance. She met a guy through a common friend. Thanks to the well-knit colonies everyone knows everyone through someone. And when she introduced the girl to boy, the girl found him to be perfect – handsome, witty, well mannered – in short, a character right out of her favourite romantic novel and movies.

Their interaction started over the phone. Soon the conversations progressed from pleasantry exchanges to deep conversations. She fell for him. His charm swept her off her feet. And she sensed reciprocation of her feelings every time he would smile, spoke to her for hours over the phone. When they agreed to meet on 14th February… A day that needs no explanation for why it is celebrated, she was very excited and elated.

She dressed carefully, wanted to look her best for she never had confidence in her looks prior to that meeting. They met outside her college, went to a nearby restaurant. Amidst their casual conversation, he gave her a box of chocolates. She was over the moon for this was her first gift ever from a person of the opposite sex. It was all hunky dory but the feelings were still not spoken about directly. But this meant something to her.

She now looked forward to talking to him, searched for excuses to meet him. But then came the moment when her world of dreams came crashing down. In one such meeting he asked her “I think you started loving someone, isn’t it true?”. All she could do is to blush as she lowered her gaze and nods in affirmation. But without her speaking out he knew that her feelings are attached to him and he made an announcement ” but I am already seeing someone for a long time now”. And that moment of truth came as a shock to the girl who nursed dreams about “them” being together. She didn’t let a teardrop from her eye and even didn’t let the smile fade away from her lips. When her friends got to know about this they felt sad for her but she resolved not to cry though the pain was hard to contain. Her own family issues demanded a lot of her time and focus that she made sure she isn’t stopping.

Their conversations were limited now. They got busy in their respective lives. But they met casually after four years. This time she was careful of not getting carried away by emotions unnecessarily for life is giving her so many lessons to learn from. The first question she posed was “how’s she doing?”. And there was a twist in the tale – they were not together anymore. “Could this mean anything?, Could this meeting mean anything?” Questions of this nature ruffled her thoughts. But this time she wasn’t letting her imagination take over her right senses.

And her stance proved to be helpful to her as the guy she was once interested in fell for her best friend when she introduced her friend to him. Now they are happily married and this girl is also hitched and is in wedlock with a beautiful family. And of course, the girl, the boy and her best friend are very good friends. Interesting fact: best friend knows that this girl once had feelings for her husband. This seems weird on paper but their equation is as pure as it could, they all laugh now how things have taken a turn.

The questions though remain: is it a foolish thing to be hopelessly romantic? Was the girl at fault to decipher and perceive things differently? Was the boy at fault by being so nice that could give false signals? Can people still be friends after being friend-zoned? And how cool is the best friend of that girl 😁😁?

PS: true story, names confidential