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Anger is something which is very common and very difficult issue to deal with. I struggle daily. I try to keep my anger as my slave but the reverse always happens.
We had a good week discussing about anger with lots of ideas regarding what anger is and what it can do and there were also many suggestions, advises and steps to get rid of anger.
But one thing I marked in all the discussions that the step to manage anger is an act of deliberation. We have to take steps deliberately to get rid of our angry attitude.
Whether we move out from the place where anger can be flared or say a sweetest ever sorry to the person concerned, are deliberate actions.
Instead of getting angry we can also take a deliberate step of taking a time out or few seconds off to get the right perspective by going for a jog or doing something else than moving around the “anger spot.”
It is a deliberate action to keep our mouth shut and not utter a single word when we are angry or else we can hurt so many people. Another instance will be when we come across a person who is often angry with us, we should make sure we treat him well so that we heap coals of fire on his head.
We need to understand the fact that we can only control our own selves, the sooner we realize that, the sooner we’ll be on our way to mastering our anger.
We all know when anger takes over awful things can happen. Anger is a bondage. It’s a natural emotion but if not controlled at the right time it can be devastating even to the point of murder. As the scripture says –
“Be angry [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it to] last until the sun goes down.”
Let’s be liberated from the bondage of anger by deliberately taking the steps that can put off the anger within us.
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All of us experience “uncontrollable rage” at times. It is a feeling of being out of control; it is an acute negative and evil feeling which I really cannot describe in words. I remember the first I got into an anger of this kind. It was a fight with my husband and I know that I was feeling completely taken over by somebody else. I said harsh and bitter things which I really did not mean but it was almost like a devil taken over me wanting to hurt everybody around me. I later realized that it was a feeling of extreme helplessness that made me so angry and so harsh.
Like they say – words once spoken cannot be taken back. Anger does no good to anybody. There have been instances where I have broken things in anger and hit myself (because I cannot hit the other person), only to deeply regret later on. Anger makes you do things that you could be extremely ashamed of.
After a couple of such incidents, I figured out a way to handle my anger. Every time I feel out of control and have an urge to spit out poison on the other person or go violent, I just take a second off to get the right perspective – then I just put on my running shoes and go for a jog. The first time I did this, I ended up running almost 5 Kilometers non-stop because there was just so much angry energy inside me. After the running, I usually get so tired that there is no energy left even to argue with somebody. Then usually the next day, I talk calmly with the concerned person to get issues resolved. I have even done this at my professional life as well and it works without fail for me.
This is my way to handle the uncontrollable rage, but everybody has a different way to do this. It is very important to know what works for you. It is also a test of your own will power.
So, take some time off and think what your behavior is when you are angry and what could work for you to get over that heated moment.