IS WEXTING A NEW TREND?

“Do you know this park is quite old and I used to come here with my cousins in our childhood”, I pointed towards a children-park on the other side of the road. “This park has a beautiful fountain and …” I turned my face towards my friend but couldn’t find her beside me. In a shock, I turned around and what I saw was surprising and funny at the same time. She was lying on the ground as she fell down. Quickly I went to her so that I could help her.

“Hey, will you stop laughing and help me? What sort of person you are?”

“Okay feisty girl I got you”.  I picked her up and asked about how she fell. I saw her knee got skinned and she was facing problem while walking. She told me she was wexting. Nowadays, wexting is quite common. Wexting means to chat while walking. In this era of social media, we all have done wexting. I too have done this. There is one more incident when I and one of my friends were out for shopping. I was so busy in wexting that I didn’t realize I took the wrong way. My friend was new to that place and so she wasn’t familiar with the roads. When I looked around I found myself lost in some other place. We had to walk back and it really wasted a lot of time. Maybe, I could have met with an accident as I wasn’t attentive. However now I have controlled myself from doing wexting but still, sometimes I tend to look at my phone whenever I receive an important message. And I am pretty sure many of us do the same.

I have done wexting so many times and luckily nothing serious happened but that doesn’t mean I should continue with wexting. At times when I am in the supermarket or when I am heading towards bus-stand, I do wexting. Even during the morning walk, I have seen youths of my age busy in wexting. They seem to be so happy during that particular moment. Although they know they might stumble or fall or hurt themselves.

Sometimes I have been reminded by my parents and my elders that wexting can cause harm to me. I know they say the right thing. It’s not that we don’t know the consequences of wexting but as soon as we get a message we ignore everything and we get engrossed in replying. And then begins the process of wexting. In that particular moment we may be enjoying and smiling ear to ear but who knows we are about to meet with an accident or something unexpectedly bad happens to us.

One day my cousin came home and I was horrified to see his skinned elbow. He told me he was replying to one of his friend’s message and he stumbled to a stone and fell down. Still, he does wexting. Not often but he does.

It’s good to stay in touch with our near and dear ones through various means of communication. But one must be cautious enough while walking. We should keep in mind that our life is precious and just for the sake of little happiness or pleasure we must not risk our life. From past few months, I have made a habit to turn off my data and keep my phone inside just to be attentive on the road while walking. Moreover, I advise my friends or people to do the same while walking. Once we reach our place we can reply to the messages we receive and this won’t harm us.

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FB BEST CAPTION COMPETITION – 1

It was Friday and I was kinda bored. I thought let me have some intelligent fun competition on FB. So, I posted a thought-provoking picture on my Facebook timeline asking my friends and relatives to write a caption (a word, few words or a sentence) describing that picture. And the results were berserk…

Preeta: “Everything is here, yet it’s incomplete!”

Pradita: “Game of Thrones – Mini!”

Prabhjot: “Hogwarts!”

Kalpana: “Free Yet Slaves!”

Rima: “Once upon a time…in a faraway land…!”

Ashrita“Castles can be built when you lose trap of the virtual world and embrace verity!”

Smruti Rekha: “We’d rather be incarcerated in the fortress of virtuality than perceive the reality!”

Aditi“Building Castles in the Virtual World” – a harsh but real tweak to the old idiom “Building Castles in the air!”

Sreela: “Westeros!”

Rain: Access to the World!”

Avinash: “Chained!”

Gregory: “Where’s the bathroom?”

Kuljeet: “Ok so that’s the virtual castle my kids visit everyday…!”

Parimita: “iCastle on an iPhone: Crush the Castle to unlock!”

Abhinanda: “Imagination – There are no rules of architecture for a castle on the phone!”

All the entries or the captions were excellent and meaningful in their own ways but out of those 15 entries, Preeta Bhatnagar‘s caption moved me. It was absolutely simple, meaningful and well framed. Thus, I chose that as the best and am declaring her as the winner of this contest. I had promised earlier of a surprise reward for the best caption, so she will be receiving a Candles Online Poster Certificate as the winner of the competition.

Congratulations, Preeta Bhatnagar!

Note:  The Wining Poster Certificate was set as the featured image of this post and will be displayed on the site’s sidebar as well till the next competition. 

HOW TO WIN BACK THE TRUST OF YOUR BROKEN PARTNER AFTER SHE CAUGHT YOU CHEATING BEHIND HER?

“Relationships are based on trust and honesty and the boundaries of being monogamous need to be set by partners themselves.”

And when the boundaries are breached there are heartaches, brokenness, pain and devastation. It is really very difficult to win back the trust of our spouse when we are the main culprit in our relationship or we are caught cheating behind our spouse even though we realize and repent later.

Can we gain her/him back? Can I win her/his trust ever again?

I know, this question haunts many of us when we finally find ourselves guilty of cheating on our spouses. What can we do at this point? Because, only realisation doesn’t help us  in anyway…

I kind of researched a bit to find out few steps that we can take on a daily basis to gain back the trust of our spouses who were betrayed, cheated, hurt and broken because of us, for our illicit activities in the past.

Following are those steps:

  1. Keep the Apologising Attitude on: Why I said apologising attitude? So many times we apologise and then think our part is over. But in this scenario we need to have a constant apologising attitude, may be till we get our spouse back to ourselves.
  2. Owning the responsibility: A relationship can be restored only when we have the desire to reconcile and rebuild and for that we need to own the responsibility. When I think “She doesn’t show any interest to reconcile” then I would be sure that I am not ready to reconcile. As I have cheated and breached the trust then it is my responsibility to take the step first. When she is hurt, angry and I have lost her trust and confidence then it is me who’s gonna be doing everything to gain her trust and ultimately gain her back into my life.
  3. Expect Denials: When we are on the verge of regaining the trust of our partner who is hurt and try to restore then we should always be ready for denials to our attempts. Our partner may not want to rebuild or reconcile again with us… She has all the reasons to do so. In that case, we should not be disappointed with our partner’s denial, we should be ready to face that and accept it in a very positive way.
  4. Patience is the Key: We being the cheat and culprit, we need to remember one thing that we can’t be hasty or hurry in anyway… Remember we have lost their trust… We can’t afford to lose our patience. We always need to remember that “breaking is much easier than rebuilding.” We need patience. We need perseverance. We have to keep coming again and again to reconcile and regain our partner’s trust. And one day when we succeed we have to start rebuilding slowly.
  5. A Humbling experience: It is really not at all easy to come again and again expecting a response to our invitation to reconcile and restore a strained relationship. Regaining someone’s trust is a humbling experience. A very tough one… May be the toughest one in one’s life… We need humility along with patience to break the wall that’s created by us. When we face denial our ego may challenge us to take a step back and stop thinking of bending down again or we might lose heart, thinking we may not gain our partner’s trust again ever. We might have patience to come again but we might not stay calm when we hear absurd and hurting words from our partner. We need to give our partner the time and space to vent their feelings, hurling out judgments on us… That’s the consequence of our cheating our partner and we need to tolerate that silently. We need to remind ourselves that regaining is our responsibility because we have lost it… Thus, we have to bend down again and again to regain; we need to prove ourselves at every steps, small or big again and again to win the trust of our spouse.

All these steps have to be carried out together. It’s not that we would finish the first step and then try out the second one. All these have to be undertaken all at a time and then only we can expect a rebuilt relationship after we regain the trust of our spouse. No matter how shaky it seems at the moment when things went all wrong but by taking it one day at a time, following the above steps might bring our relationships float well and strong again.

Before I close, I would like to request all those who have been hurt and broken because of their cheating spouses that – Cheating doesn’t have to lead to divorce or breakup always. you can build a more honest, healthier and love filled relationship all over again against all negatives and messy scenarios by forgiving your partner seeing his/her truthful repentance.

Stay Blessed!!!

​TEXTING OR CHEATING?

“Hey! Where are you engrossed? Who are you texting??”

“Oh! Nothing, just an old friend! Was just catching up”

For that half-an-hour or so, you only concentrate on the conversation and it is making you forget your partner’s presence in the same room, it is making you smile, you are praising them, giving compliments, you are enjoying being in that ‘virtual world’.

Your partner gets hold of your chats and is clearly not comfortable and when confronted you simply laugh at them, get angry and mock them for over-reacting. There is nothing wrong in it! That is not cheating after all!

Fine! Let’s have a look at this scenario.

You are at home alone and you invited someone of the opposite sex, to have a ‘conversation’ in the privacy of your bedroom with doors locked.

 Your spouse suddenly walks in! You are immediately guilty.

Clear act of cheating! Right?

Well, what is cheating anyway?

An obvious answer to this is physical infidelity or starting an affair with someone outside your relationship.

Well of course yes!

But what about the gray areas of having an ‘emotional affair’!  Something most of us do almost ‘unknowingly’ like how our mind wanders and pretty soon we are on facebook or WhatsApp messaging someone other than your significant other? Is it fun, a harmless flirting, or is it evidence of infidelity?

Maybe it’s your best friend that you’ve known for years,  or your junior from college, or colleagues, fact is you’re texting them a lot lately. The conversations have gotten a little too flirty (so many winky faced emojis!), you’re in bad territory.

Infidelity occurs much before having actual sex with someone and in today’s culture it can very well initiate with ‘one harmless text conversation’.

You would agree that kissing another women or man would be a huge no, if you are in a relationship but on the contrary sending kiss emojis to another women and men is completely cool in virtual world. How is that not cheating?

The tell-tale sign that you’re possibly cheating is that you feel the need to hide it from your significant other, you delete entire conversation or individual messages, you know they would get angry if they read the entire conversation, so you start blaming them for the ‘not trusting you’.  If you’re trying to hide something there’s the element of betrayal. Not only does this mean you feel guilty, it shows that you’re potentially looking for something elsewhere and you know it’ll hurt their feelings.

The simple fact is that people who cheat, lie. If you’re covering your tracks so your partner can’t catch you in the act, you’re being sketchy and unfair, whether sex is involved or not.

The question many of us might ask is why do people flirt? It makes them feel young and attractive and has the power to put them back on a-game. However, we need understand that this all leads to an ’emotional affair’. It might seem like flirting but it’s not!  Messages that blur the line between teasing and intimacy, or that replace feelings you should be getting from your partner, can quickly violate relationship boundaries, even if you don’t recognize the situation as dangerous.

One of my closest friend caught her husband texting a friend and sharing details about his work life and that he was disturbed and work stressed. Something my friend knew nothing about! She got paranoid and was deeply hurt.

If you look at this from a wider perspective you might not agree for this to be cheating but having a closer look, I would agree with my friend’s opinion!

She told me while I was consoling her “Relationships are about finding someone you can share life with, not just your body, but your emotions, your insecurities” she continued. “I am heartbroken to found out he was sharing his deepest thought with someone else and was keeping it from me.”

Isn’t that true for all kind of relationships? Relationships are based on trust and honesty and the boundaries of being monogamous need to be set by partners themselves.

Key thing to remember is, what begins innocently enough is pushed and forced to its bitter conclusion, cheating. Better to remove the temptation before you cause incurable damage!