THE UNEQUALLED DESIGN

A perfect woman who can be?

 

One who cooks n launders,

And keeps the house spic n span?

 

One who nurses her family,

Keeping vigil long nights when they are taken sick?

 

One who births n raises children,

Meeting their every need as they grow?

 

One who lends a helping hand,

To the family’s treasury?

 

One who aligns with stereotyped definitions,

Of possessing attributes of femininity?

 

One who sacrifices more than men,

To chalk out various means to reach the end?

 

One who is the pride of her father, husband and son,

For she helps keep their heads high up whether rain, hail or storm?

 

One who is the smart fair lady,

Men croon to make their own?

 

One who practices silently,

To endure ridicule, pain and scorn?

 

One who conquers mountains peaks,

And steers ships across tempestuous seas?

 

Ah well! A perfect woman you will not find,

‘coz there isn’t any of that kind!

 

Whether you look to the far north or south or to the east or west,

You’ll not find a woman perfect to everyone’s taste.

 

A bundle of imperfections she is,

Just the very same way a man is!

 

Yet, she is perfect!

 

Not perfect because of her dainty looks

Not perfect because she can cram or author too many books

 

Not perfect because she can sweat n toil

Not perfect because she can burn the midnight oil

 

Not perfect because she can bear and rear children

Not perfect because of her accomplishments

 

But, perfect because of the unique creation that she divinely is

To cherish her is God’s providence for unending bliss.

 

She is no man’s equal

Nor is any man her equal.

 

She stands on a pedestal,

Erected on God’s handmade ground.

 

The masterpiece of His creative potential,

Each woman is quintessential.

 

She is creation’s crowning glory along with the man,

None ever ought to meddle with God’s holy plan.

 

 

 

 

LOVE GIVES NO LEEWAY TO DECEIT

Truth and Love go together.

Lies and deceit go together.

Where there is truth, there is no place for lies – just as where there is light, there is no room for darkness to reign. In a relationship that claims to celebrate love, there is no space for deceit and hence, no space for lying and cheating.

To begin with, there is one truth all couples whether married or courting, ought to bear in mind – there are no perfect people on planet earth. And so inferring from this premise, there are no perfect couples for the world to behold!

The ones who seem to be the perfect couples to us, are as a matter of fact ‘well-adjusted’ couples. They are ones who acknowledge each other’s strengths and weaknesses, positives and negatives, ambitions and fears, successes and failures; put up with all these facets of each other; pull each other up by turns when the other is sinking and move on ahead in life.

So if you are looking for a perfect partner, prepare for a surprise!

Relationship takes hard work. No love relationship is as rosy and as romantic as the media portrays it to be. It’s not how deeply in love you begin your relationship with, that really matters, but as you take a peek back into the years and discover the many deep love footprints cast along life’s stormy milestones, you realise how much steeped in love your relationship really has been!

 So then why do we often hear accounts of lying, cheating and distrust in relationships – more specifically in ‘love relationships’?

I am reminded of the following verse from the Bible – 

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Selfish ambition, vain conceit, i.e, pride, ego and arrogance, not valuing the other person and his/her interests more than one’s own self – are some of the common reasons for lying and cheating in love relationships, which is ultimately strong proof enough of a loveless bond.

A case to help us understand this better:

A couple go out to dine together. Who decides the spread to be ordered? Whose preference dominates the order? A menu mutually decided by both, giving equal space to each other’s tastes is ideal. However, if one of them decides to order what s/he likes most and justifies it to be the best for both, thus ignoring the desire/choice of the other person, it ushers in the beginning of a chain of compromises in the relationship in the days to come. And once the pressure blows the lid off, there is ample room for lying, cheating and discord to gush in.

The problem is not lying and cheating, per se. But, if lying and cheating have entered into a relationship, it’s time to dig down and zero in on the real problem. Just as running nose, cough and vomiting are not ailments on their own, but symptoms of an underlying ailment, so also lying and cheating are just the masked symptoms of the bigger problem called ‘lovelessness’.

The antidote to ‘lovelessness’ is ‘love’. The solution to a loveless relationship is not anger, self-harm, lying, cheating, remorse, cursing one’s fate or seeking a route of escape, but to seek ways to restore love or to instill love, if there never had been any. At times, open conversation just between the couple helps. At other times, external intervention of a trusted confidant is necessary.

For a tall and strong minaret to be erected, it takes the sweat and toil of many a labouring hand, many chiselled stones and hammered wood. Well-chiselled stones and well-hammered wood make up a resilient edifice. So is it for relationships!

Do not tiptoe your way out of love. Plant your feet firmly and ask God Almighty to secure your footprints, as you celebrate love.