WHEN MY HEALTH SIGNALLED ME TO CHANGE LIFESTYLE

Few months after the birth of my first child,  I started having mild pain in the lower back. Thinking that the pain was one of the features of the post-pregnancy and post-delivery life of a mom,  I ignored it initially. “Of course”, I thought, “it’s due to the humongous changes that took place in my body”.

The pain worsened and before could schedule a visit to the doctor,  my back muscles were locked into the ‘catch’ position. Besides not being able to bend,  I wasn’t even able to walk, sit straight or turn on my side while in bed. When I was taken to the physiotherapist,  she immediately said, “It’s because of your sedentary lifestyle. Now, after childbirth, you must be doing so much work than you did earlier,  and since your body isn’t accustomed to take so much pressure, your back is locked.”

I was shocked and afraid at the same time. She said if 3 – 4 times more I face a similar situation,  then I might develop a slip disc. 

I did exercises session with my physiotherapist for a month who helped to strengthen my back. Meanwhile,  my husband got a project in Shanghai and we had to move. I was kind of reluctant to go because of the fear of getting into the similar situation in a foreign country,  where our moms couldn’t visit us easily. My physiotherapist, however, assured me that if I continued with my exercise regimen, nothing will happen. Feeling assured, I moved to Shanghai and yes,  my back did suffer from spasm, as I stopped months after I got better, but then resumed my exercise routine. If I used to get bored with the exercises, I took to dancing with my little one and also taking him in stroller for long walks. 

A couple of years later, when we returned,  my son started his preschool and so my physical activities also increased as I used to play with him. Sometimes I used to take him for nature walks in the morning or race with him in climbing up the stairs, which was great fun.

My job as a homemaker became more demanding after the birth of my second son. With the support of my in-laws, who took care of the children at home, I started working a pre-primary teacher, which in itself requires a lot of physical activities. However,  I had to quit as my husband got a job in a different city. 

Currently, I am back to my full-time job as a homemaker as my younger one has started his preschool. Until I resume my teaching job,  I am keeping myself physically active by doing all the chores myself. I didn’t hire any maid for cleaning the house or washing dishes because I feel that’s the best way I can keep myself healthy and the house immaculate!

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CHOOSE A LIFESTYLE YOU WANT – NOT OTHERS

Lifestyle and I had conflicts ever since I was born.

Ever since my childhood being little introspective and determined in a variable way, I ensured to be little more intentional in my every step ahead. My lifestyle choices have always amused me, surprised me, shocked me, bored me as well as condemned me as well as other people in my life in many ways.

Being brought up in a typical Keralite family, I was kind of bound to be more like a Keralite had followed most of the things from my mothers’ footsteps. I had to be invariably the same after a couple of mistakes and challenges I took up to blend in various other lifestyles.

My Conflicts with the Girl inside me

I always wanted to be boyish, but again my features never did justice to my thoughts. My thoughts just remained in my deeds but not in my appearance. To some extent, I believed that being a boy was far better because they had the best reward in life – FREEDOM. I used to hate wearing typical girl shoes and pink dresses. It did not give me the comfort to be more girlish in some way.

Again in the coming years, I realised being a girl was a blessing indeed. It is not about the Freedom, but being a Girl mattered me. (I kind of turned semi-Feminist).

My Conflicts in adapting to dressing style

Any time of the day, all I wanted to wear is a Tshirt and pants, but again here my consciousness being little heavy built failed me here. My dressing style was never acceptable to anyone in the family. When they want me to be a typical Kerala style -Salwar-Clad girl, I wanted to escape from all these barriers.

My Conflicts with my routines

Like every other youngster, I too had a lousy lifestyle- sometimes oversleeping, sometimes overworking and much more. And after numerous trials and errors, the curtain fell over it, when motherhood took over my life. I changed myself to craft a beautiful and convenient lifestyle for my children. Something to blend in the lives around me. It actually worked out giving me sufficient time to manage my own things too, which I felt was a better way to live happily.

As I went abroad too, my customized style never left me. It had become a kind of sheath I used to cover my insecurities. My Lifestyle became a burden to my mind gradually.

My Conflicts led me to be a target at every instance, as it had become a vulnerability in me. The more I had disputes in me the challenges just doubled.

It wasn’t easy to fix a lifestyle that suited me. Off and on  I get so motivated and carried away – and all I do is try to blend in. It never worked in my favour.

Until when I realised. It was better to be Just ME.

The Road to No Regrets

Living by persuasion, without being approved is quite hard. It came in as a late realisation that it is easy to choose what actually suits me and which actually befits me. When I realised, it all came perfectly well to me.

I realised that whatever outside influence comes to my mind, it should never bother me. All I have to do is just be who I am, rather than stop becoming what others want me to be.

ACCEPT YOUR INDIVIDUALITY

I grew up watching my cousins wearing beautiful dresses and spending lavishly. I couldn’t do so as my parents didn’t have enough to allow me to spend beyond the genuine needs. All I could do was look at my cousins and take a sigh. I knew the financial condition of my parents and, therefore, I didn’t ask for more. But I always wanted to have what my cousins and my friends owned. I wanted those pretty sandals, dresses, and what not! 

As an ordinary girl, I too used to get fascinated by the lifestyle of the celebrities. I followed some of them to an extent my pocket could allow. I used to see how those celebrities followed a lifestyle to look elegant and presentable and it did influence me. I used to follow their eating and speaking style so that I too could look elegant. Gradually, I felt like being choked up. The influence of someone’s lifestyle was choking me. Maybe because for me, their lifestyle was hard to accept. For a moment, it did feel like fascinating but eventually, I decided to give up and follow my own lifestyle.

Leave about celebrities, even when I went to my village I saw girls of my age and younger to me wearing salwar-kameez. Honestly, I consider this to be one of the most-beautiful attire a girl can ever have. Influenced by those girls, I decided to quit my trousers and tees. Trust me, I couldn’t take the salwar-kameez for a long time. It was all about a week or two. I guess this happened because I personally never felt the urge to wear salwar-kameez all the time. I started to feel as if I am locked up in a dark room. I guess this happened because I was never used to living like them.

It is not only about clothes. When you follow a lifestyle, many things count in it. The food you eat, your sleeping schedule, your way of speaking, weekend plans, and much more. And it is completely okay if you are having a different lifestyle. Most of my friends go on a trip or go to some pubs on weekends. I, on the other end, love spending time with my books, answering Quora questions, and reading blogs. For me, going to parties and shopping seems way too boring and time-consuming. This amazes my friends and they wonder if I ever enjoy? Trust me, I enjoy a lot because I have my own life and a way of living. And I love it. It is not necessary that everyone will have a similar lifestyle.

Unless our soul is not convinced to follow a lifestyle, not just for the sake of following but because we love it, we can’t go a long way with that lifestyle. Lifestyle is not just a matter of a day or two. It is all about our comfort, upbringing, and the environment we live in. Today, I earn on my own but not as much as my friends do. With the money I get, I can buy whatever clothes I want or eat whatever I want but I can’t. I am more influenced by my lifestyle I have been following so far. But if you think the other person is having a better lifestyle then you must know it is not easy to step into one’s shoes. The best thing is to accept your individuality and live accordingly. 

LIFESTYLE: A CONTINUOUS PROCESS OF ADAPTATION AND ADJUSTMENTS

Geographic location, family background, socioeconomic status, culture, people and individual personality patterns give shape to our lifestyles. There are certain commonalities in the lifestyle of the human race. But, the ways of living out those lifestyles often varies. For example, all humans eat to live and all wear clothes to be socially presentable. However, who eats what and who wears which type of clothes may differ even between houses on the same lane.

And so, we all have our lifestyles. As adults, we either choose to maintain the lifestyle that we are brought up in or we opt to change that lifestyle radically because of certain thought processes or influences in our lives. Many of us decide to tinker with our foundational lifestyle and imbibe a few features of a new lifestyle and find a middle path to retain the old and imbibe the new. Whatever said and done, we all have certain unique lifestyles.

For a little more than twenty years of my life, I grew up in a city that defined my lifestyle with its mannerisms. Later as I moved to the national capital, I found myself blending in with the capital city’s lifestyle all the while holding on to the mannerisms I grew up with. Close to nine years of my stay in the national capital helped me discover myself and be me. That was something I didn’t get to do in the initial years of my life. Presently, my job has brought me to a semi-rural place with its share of challenges. The transition needed a huge lifestyle shift because since the last four generations no one in my family has lived anywhere close to a rural habitation. To live and work in such a set up requires lifestyle changes.

We, humans, are shaped with such personality traits that help us to adapt to our surroundings on most occasions (though the extent to which we adapt varies from person to person). That’s how we thrive. 

But, then some aren’t able to cope with lifestyle changes. There was this family I know who moved to New Zealand from India, on getting more promising work opportunities. Their children were quite small at that time. However, they had to return to India in a year’s time as their little daughter wasn’t able to acquaint herself with the new place and the lifestyle changes. 

Also, there are some who don’t wish to cope with lifestyle changes. There’s a friend’s vegetarian husband who was to travel to London for an official trip of a week. From the day he received the order, he fell sick with rising blood pressure (though he is an absolutely healthy man). His worry was how would he have his meals at a place that served non-vegetarian food! (He assumed there is no space for vegetarians in Western countries). Well, finally he ended up stuffing his suitcases with a lot of eatables so that he won’t have to eat a thing in London. Of course, he had a different story to tell on return!

The most demanding lifestyle change of all is brought about by marriage. No matter how well the couple know each other before marriage, staying under the same roof with a commitment for life is a different ball game altogether. It requires huge lifestyle adjustments. Sometime back I heard a person nearing sixty describe how his and his wife’s tastes are polar opposites in every matter. One needs the fan to run at full speed while the other barely needs the fan. One dislikes cold drinks while the other dislikes all hot drinks. He cited many other such instances. It was really amusing to hear him narrate. But, he concluded that in spite of all these differences they have loved each other all these years and have remained committed without any major argument between them. Well, I won’t call it ‘the perfect marriage’ as I have written in one of my previous articles that there aren’t any perfect couples and perfect marriages – only well-adjusted ones.

Lifestyles can be static – especially if people do not wish to let go of traditional generational mannerisms. But, lifestyles can be vibrantly dynamic as well, for people who are open to exploring and imbibing newness and variation.

It’s wise to be open to exploration, but instead of blindly aping on newness, it is prudent to adopt the lifestyle that is good and acceptable in the eyes of God.

WHY I DON’T HAVE THE LIFESTYLE THAT I WISHED FOR!

A few years ago, I was asked to leave the present job to join a better one which was to fetch good money and was in my home town. I didn’t choose money but chose the place where I am now. I always feel that I am not greedy and I don’t have love of money. It might be true; I don’t have love of money in my present condition though I earn very little in comparison to the world around me. But sometimes I wonder and wish if I get an award of a crore rupees from nowhere then what will I do with it? I dream and wish to buy a few apartments for my immediate family members and rent out the rest as my future earnings. I will gift cash to my sisters and a few that I will keep in my wife’s name as a fixed deposit. And the rest of the money I will spend lavishly on food and travel. I am a good boy; I don’t drink or spend on women. Huh!

So, if I am given money at a given point of time then I might spend it lavishly. I have the human desire of enjoying life and just because I don’t earn or don’t have the ability to earn, I tend to feel that I don’t have that desire of money – this is not very true. My lifestyle would have been different than how it is now if I would have more money or wealth. I might not have led a bad lifestyle because of the wealth but I would have definitely taken the pride for having that wealth.

Money! Yeah, it does play a vital role behind someone’s or a family’s lifestyle. We take the decision to follow a certain lifestyle depending on our financial stability.

I always love to be peaceful person – a reconciliator and a calm person. I don’t like to confront people face to face and get into unnecessary arguments. My personality and my character traits make me follow a particular lifestyle. But sometimes I feel like retaliating and hitting back those who wronged me. At that time, I wish if I would have been a person having the physical strength and muscle power then I would have taught people good lessons. My lifestyle would have been different.

It is not only about my attitude or character, but my good health or muscle power would have determined a different job for me altogether and so also a different lifestyle. There are so many things in life I am either restricted or unable to do, all because of my health condition. But if the case would have been different then I would have done everything that I only can wish today and I am sure that would have allowed me to lead a different lifestyle.

So like money and wealth, physical strength and good health do play a vital role in determining someone’s lifestyle.

You might ask me if I feel sad about it. Yes, I do sometimes if I think humanly, but that sometimes is very small in comparison to how God let me lead a particular lifestyle in front of all the odds. I understood one thing very clearly and that is how I was commanded by my God – “Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left; Turn your foot from evil.”

I make sure at the end of the day to check if I have fallen short of the standard or the lifestyle I am supposed to live up to despite my shortcomings and vulnerabilities. I believe God asks of us to adopt certain lifestyles for a purpose. And I acknowledge it wholeheartedly. I understood, ‘Why I don’t have the lifestyle that I wished for.’ It is better for all of us to understand so.

So, friends! Get ready for this week, reading about different lifestyles our writers lead and what they had or have wished for.

Keep reading, keep leaving your valuable feedback…

Stay blessed!

THE BEST INSPIRATIONS ARE TO BE FELT BY OUR SOUL

I rightly remember the time I discovered the passion to write. It was the time when I was struggling in motherhood. Even the slightest sight of my daughter in pain was making me vulnerable. My brain began to think deeply and thoughts clouded up, which was, in fact, projecting my imagination. I was actually living in a world where the truth and my thoughts mismatched. It was when I decided that to silence my thoughts, I would better put my silent mind into the words I wish to speak out.

At times it is my child who awakens the world of letters in me that let me pen down my thoughts. My initial writings were mostly in the thought process as a new mother. Spreading what I am experiencing, my struggles, my happiness, my worries etc. became a part and parcel of my daily life.

I always loved traveling, exploring the nature, watching the best of it could deliver to me. I always dreamt of the world where I would be just living soaked in the beauty of nature rather than the life amongst the skyscrapers, high rise buildings, pollution etc. I am pretty sure, most of us have the same vision of a peaceful life. It was when I decided to be little more poetic ( of course I never knew I was going poetic until my good wishers told me ). It was indeed a surprise for me.

I look at every thing around me, with a positive attitude. Everything around me inspires. Even a movie scene or a word spoken anything and everything around me ignite the writer in me. The time I decided to pursue my passion to write more poems, I decided to choose “Love” as my topic, it was pretty valentines day, that changed my life. Words became my life by then.

I always strongly believe to live the life unplanned. There is no excitement in a planned life. It is the same with my words too, I do not plan ahead, as anything can inspire me to write down.

Like the touch of the wind

whispering of the leaves

like the morning dew 

The cuddling of your arms

the tears that roll down your cheeks

the lovely smile

the wrinkles of old age

the innocent kisses from the little child

the passion 

everything brings out the best in me 

oh my World around me

you are my inspiration

you are the world to me.

BE A DREAMER

Today is the last day of the current week. We have come to the concluding post of the topic: “Following your passions.” I am feeling funny and sad to share that we had very less passionate readers this week. I don’t wanna write any final words on this topic but will just scribble down another snippet for you all to read and understand.

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

True! We can’t do anything fruitful unless we dream about anything. There has to be a dream which takes away our sleep and make us busy achieving it.

This is just a small thought which I wanted to bring into all of your notice as we are on the verge of ending this week here.

Stay Blessed!