My co-writers have talked much about Allowing Space in any relationship. It may be between spouses, other family members, friends, colleagues and so on. Space is always necessary for the growth of an individual, no doubt about it but I somehow feel very apprehensive of this term SPACE in a marital bond. Because a marriage always involves two different individuals where they grow together in that beautiful institute. If the husband is having a growth and the wife is not growing along with her spouse or vice versa then there’s something wrong in that marriage. But again as an individual each person needs to grow for him or her own self. In that case a reasonable amount of space is indispensable for both the partners individually.
Now in a relationship, how much emotional space does each partner occupy is essential to know. But before that we need to understand what does this term ‘Emotional Space’ means. Emotional Space is the time, energy, and space a partner spends dealing with or listening to the emotions, words, thoughts, needs, etc. of the other partner.
There are three types of scenarios that we find concerning Emotional Space which will help us to understand where we stand individually and together in our own marriage. Those scenarios are as follows:
WHERE ONE PARTNER USES UP MOST OF THE EMOTIONAL SPACE
In this kind of scenario, one partner usually seen to be involved too much in a marital relationship and expressing most of the time where as the other partner seem to be uninvolved. One person may seem extremely emotional, needy, intense etc., while the other person may seem to be aloof and seem to have no needs at all in a marriage.
In my marriage, I actually feel very content at times and feel my wife to be complaining and needy all the time. It’s good that this scenario doesn’t exist all the time in our marriage.
Where NEITHER of the PERSONs uses UP ANY EMOTIONAL SPACE
In this kind of scenario, two individuals seem to be enjoying each other’s company and can be intimate with each other but they don’t feel the need of any emotions in their relationship. Whether they have been staying long or short they fail to move deeper into each other’s emotional lives.
Sometimes, I feel very scared when I find both of us holding our phones and busy using up our so called space. I ask this question to myself that time, “Are we drifting apart?”
Usually, this is a worst scenario of a marriage relationship where the partners are busy with everything but themselves. Usually, they keep drifting apart till they get separated.
Where BOTH the PErsons use UP required EMOTIONAL SPACE
This has to be the best scenario where both the partners deeply get involved with each other emotionally. They occupy the emotional space equally and beautifully. This is definitely the most ideal and healthy marriage relationship where neither of the partners will ever take the step up shutting out the other or stay far away emotionally for long.
Friends! Where do we stand in our marriage relationship today? Are we drifting apart in the names of space or staying involved in our marriage with joy?
Remember, if we are involved emotionally more with an outsider (includes our parents or siblings or closest of friends) than our own partners then there’s something wrong in our relationship which needs to be considered right away.
So, how much emotional space do you occupy in your relationship?
Keep reading and keep pondering,