Quote of the day

Our own lying lips can make our life miserable enough to live.

FOOLING OTHERS OR OURSELVES ???

None of us are beyond lying. I am not talking about deliberate lies but the petty lies we say like we hangout with friends and tell our parents that we are returning from college 🙂 These lies are not harmful I agree, but more often I am confronted with one truth, that we all lie to over selves, in one word self-deception. 

We fool ourselves into believing something that is false, and we refrain from accepting the truth. The fact is we lie to ourselves about very insignificant things to important life changing decisions we make.  

I want to quote an example here out of my experience which really has hurt me, made me wonder why people behave this way… 

My birthday is not known to many of my friends or colleagues, that’s because I maintain a very low profile. It does not appear on my social networking websites.

Last year one of my friend, who never knew when my birthday was, somehow found out that it’s my birthday and with a big exclamation said, ” Oh Dear, sooo sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I don’t know how I forgot your birthday, here are the wishes ” and she spoke for a minute or two.   I wondered why she is behaving as if she has forgotten a very important person’s birthday ? we were never that close. I was irritated a bit, but I paid little attention at that time. 

This year same scene repeated, but this time she got to know from another friend that my birthday passed by months later, he he !! Same exclamation and expression., well this time on social networking site she announced that she forgot it…”For God’s sake can you stop acting” was my thought, but it is not good to say that on someone’s face, so I just thanked.  I would have preferred if she would have rang me up instead of posting publicly. I really don’t mind when people forget, it’s natural and I do too…

This incident made me feel very hurt, I like her and respect her, may be that’s why it was tough on me. Why do people show off ? What do we get by lying and fooling around someone. Intentional or unintentional ? the line between them is blurry.

We mislead ourselves all day long… We tell ourselves that we are smarter and good looking than others, we don’t have enough time to help a colleague, we are too busy to make a few phone calls or check on our friends. 

We lie about our age, who cares what our real age is ? Why do we have to lie about it ?

When we encounter a friend of ours at a grocery store, we say “Aww, you look so pretty!!! “. Wasn’t she good looking otherwise? This is a kind of flattery to be nice, consciously we are aware we are lying.

We lie about why we married whom we did,  about what career we chose. Some people boost to an extent that it can be easily made out as a lie. We married whom we wanted to marry, does that require a reason or justification ?

We are unable to accept that we are fooling ourselves by giving reasons to others, it is psychologically effecting us. We deceive ourselves because of fear and ego. Fear of being rejected or taken for a wrong understanding. Living in a fantasy lie, forgetting what the reality is can turn out to be a costly mistake, a mistake that may not have a chance to be corrected later. Friends, let’s be careful and keep a watch on ourselves …

STOP BELIEVING THE LIE

Since our childhood we all dream colourful dreams and strive to do the best to make our dreams a reality. But alas, in the mid-way sun sets, years of those colourful dreams seem like fairy tales and in bitterness we wish ‘Death’ as conclusion. Isn’t it?

There was a boy, who was an intense dreamer since his schooldays but since the final year of his graduation he stopped dreaming about his own life. Whenever he smiled looking at others he talked about others than himself. When he prayed he prayed, ‘God my desire is to see my wife like this. I wish my family would be like this’ and so on… But when he opens his eyes his smile fades away and he is reminded of his past – ‘If your dream will be busted again, what you shall do?’

Couple of year back I met a girl in a public gathering, she is highly qualified, beautiful and very friendly in behavior. We became good friends, we started chatting and sharing thoughts every day but all the time I found her quoting one sentence ‘Death is always a better option. No life…No pain’. Primarily, I thought she is little philosophical but the continuous recurrence, made me to question her ‘WHY do you think death is a better option?’ Then she unfolded me her staggering story of her past.

Why there is so much bitterness in life? Why our dreams are followed by past reminders? Why we are stabbed by our bitter pasts? Why we think death is a better option?

Sir William Blake says, ‘This life’s dim windows of the soul Distorts the heaven from pole to pole And leads you to believe a lie, when you see with, not through, the eye”.

Once I asked that boy, why you are always reminded of your bitter past? He answered, because deep inside I am fearful. Then I asked the girl, what is that stabbing pain which troubles you even now? She answered, it is my hopelessness.

Yes… though we know that we can’t go back and correct our past but still the past appears in our present, making our life bitter because we have started believing the lie – I have lost everything, there is no hope for me. I am a Corpse. We always see with the eye but not through the eye.

When people on death row are praying for life, we are alive (despite of all odds) but still we are seeking death.

WHY?

It is because deep inside our hollowness, our emptiness are eating us always. Though despite of the darkness of our past, God has shown us the bright light of hope by keeping us alive… but still we believe the lie of the existence of our past and we tend to beat that old drum – “I have lost everything, there is no hope for me. I am a corpse.”

God has promised me, “I will never leave you nor forsake you. I am holding you in my right hand. Behold, I have engraved you upon the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.

Am I still fearful of my past because I still believe in the lie. Am I ignoring that God (the Omniscient – Omnipotent – Omnipresent ONE) who is holding my hands. Am I not much more valuable than just a sparrow to Him? Am I not created in His IMAGE?

Stop believing the lie… Start seeing through the eye!

Avinash

BE A BETTER YOU

Finally this week has to come to an end and we close the topic on lying. We discussed various aspects of a lying tongue and why it is bad.

We have been told since we were kids – that lying is a bad habit. All of us have got into trouble because of it, have been scolded, punished, made guilty and what not. But in the end we still have chosen to lie. Why?

Because we are humans; humans make mistakes over and over again. It is definitely a bad habit to lie and if each of us resolves to not lie in future, the world would be a much better place to live in. But before you take a resolution of this kind, it is important to forgive yourself for the lies that you have said in the past. If you feel guilty about them, share your feelings with somebody and move on.

Lying has never helped anybody, it has only messed up lives some to a harmless extent and others to a large extent. So, give it up! Lying will never help you.

LIE TRAVELS FASTER THAN TRUTH

This statement by Charles Spurgeon caught my eyes and keep me thinking. These days the fastest way to reach people is through Whatsapp messages. But I am very careful about what I receive and from whom I receive a message. Because most of the messages lack authenticity or a plain lie which are being circulated among people.

But it is so difficult when we express a simple truth.  We are so reluctant to speak the truth on somebody’s face even if we see injustice happening in front of our eyes.

I don’t want to say much but end with this thought that lie spreads faster than a truth so always try to speak truth or help the truth to spread faster.

Stay Blessed!

THE WORLD WITHOUT LIES

Everyone knows the horrible feeling, when realizing we were lied to.

It hurts! Deeply.

Especially when somebody that’s close to our heart lies to us. At times we get so upset, we’re wishing for a world without lies.

What would happen if everyone could just tell the truth? Wouldn’t that be so perfect? Wouldn’t that be the ideal world?

Then we think again.

Have we ever lied to someone?

Surely! Everyone told a fib at some point of their life, whether if it was unintentional, or just to avoid a conflict with our spouses, or to rescue a good friend out of trouble. Those white lies really help us out! And if it’s for a good cause, I actually even start to think, white lies are there to help us out in our every day life!

Some white lies save relationships, some ease a hectic situation, and others buy us time. As long as we aren’t hurting others or breaking the law, these innocent lies can make life more pleasant.

Intention behind what we speak is important. A lie is a lie yet it is acceptable when we are saving a sickly person by telling him everything is alright when its not.

That’s a matter of lot of thinking… Keep thinking and keep responding your feedbacks.

Thanks!!!

 — Judit

LYING FOR GOOD – IT IS A MYTH

It is a famous saying – “If by telling a lie somebody is getting benefited, then it is a worth a 100 truths”. If I have to explain this to my child, I would probably tell him to never believe this. The reason is simple – we hardly ever tell lies for somebody else’s benefit, we almost always lie for our own selfish reasons.

Imagine you have messed up your finances badly. You are indebted for lakhs of rupees (in credit cards, loans, etc) whereas your income is only in thousands. In all good intentions, you are trying to come out of this situation; you are trying to earn more money or create funds from other sources. Your parents are not aware of this situation and you choose to lie to them because you know they will think bad of you, they will ashamed of you and probably will not trust you with the property that you are supposed to inherit from them. In this situation, you continue to lie to them because of your own selfish interest of looking good to them and also to avoid getting scolded and lectured even when you are an adult.

Consider another similar scenario. Imagine that you are in the same messed up financial situation. But in this case, your parents are really old and sick. They are probably not going to live more than a few months. You already have got all the inheritance that you were supposed to get from them. In spite of your financial situation, you are still supporting their medical expenses and you are trying to spend as much time as you can with them. In this case also you continue to lie to your parents about your financial situation but this time the reason is that you don’t want to hurt them. They are anyways not going to live more than a few months, why give them the stress by telling them your mess up. So, you continue to lie to them so that they can die peacefully and knowing that their child is happy and content.

Think for yourself – the first situation is most probable situation whereas second situation looks more like a scene from Bollywood movie – not so probable. We usually lie for our own reasons that only benefit us and nobody else. If at all you feel that you have to lie for somebody else’s benefit – think through over and over again. Is it really somebody else’s benefit or is your brain getting manipulative and creating situation to cover up your own selfishness? If you really be honest to yourself, you will realize that it’s the latter case in most of the situations.

Telling lies is like taking a shortcut in a situation. To get away from a scolding from parents or teachers or bosses or spouse we lie, to get away from police or banks we lie, and in numerous other situations. Shortcuts don’t work in life! Eventually, one has to pay back in some form or the other for taking short cuts. So, avoid telling lies in any situation. You might get the immediate benefit but in the long run that lie will come and bite you.