Building something new is difficult.
Rebuilding something to give a fresh look is all the more difficult.
Look behind, if you have left anything broken rebuild it.
If anything is undone, do it with passion and enthusiasm.
There is time for everything under the sun
And there is a season to learn many lessons…
Yes, that’s what I would say 2018 was for me!
There were some treasured moments which I’ve shared and there was also the time of despair which I’ve carried alone. At times, the beauty of my dreams amazed me and later the shattering sound of some of them startled me. I made many promises, some to God and some to people, in some I fulfilled and in some, I failed.
As I approached the New Year afternoon, some of the big questions which were confusing me, quietly –
HOW AM I GOING TO FINISH THIS NEW RACE “2019”?
CAN I GUARANTEE, 2019 WILL BE A ROSY YEAR FOR ME?
CERTAINLY, ON WHOM CAN I TRUST?
New Year is a journey which starts with many UNCERTAINTIES and ends with many REALITIES. As I started this journey from Uncertainty to Reality, three things I learnt to focus on –
Excess Baggage Is Chargeable – Yes, we all are conscious about it when we travel. Analogically, it is quite relevant in our New Year journey. Carrying The Pain of Failure, The Old Weaknesses, The Grudge of Old Fights, The Guilt of the Past Wretch can greatly charge us this year.
The Bible Says, “Forget the old stinky things that you left behind and strain toward what is ahead of you to crown you with the glory of God.”
Hurly-burly is Expected – Life is not always a rosy path filled with colours, softness and scent. Time of turbulence is inevitable to teach us and mature us from imperfection to perfection.
The Bible says, “Therefore, we do not lose heart. Outwardly it will seem like wasting away, yet inwardly we will be renewed day by day. Let us, fix our eyes on what is unseen – the eternal glory & the future light of life”.
Trust your Travel Partner – In the journey of life, we must love people as we love ourselves but when it comes to trust them for a definite purpose we need to be mindful. It is always risky to trust a human being. He is a mere human just like me, his days on earth are like the grass that soon withers so as mine. I am finite and mortal as he is. How can he be the perfect one to trust for my future hope! BUT IF NOT HE, THEN WHO?
WHO IS MY TRAVEL PARTNER, WHOM CAN I TRUST?
The Bible says, “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. He does what he speaks and He promises and fulfils them”.
Warm Greetings and Prayers for your meaningful start of 2019!
Every night dies to birth a new dayEvery season ends to let the next one bloomThe dry leaves wither for new ones to sproutSo if things seem dark, and you feel it can’t get worse than this, remember something Wonderful is round the corner…
I Like it. I Love it. I Desire it. I Need it. I am Desperate for it. I Can’t have it. I am Depressed. This will Ruin me. Nothing I do Ends this. I Need to Let Go. It’s Hard. I am Practising it every day. I am Learning. I still Want it, but I am NOT Desperate. I have Moved on. I was Silly. I can do Better. Until……I Like it.
Human life is purposeless without passions and dreams and desires.
There are some things which you don’t need or want; you are desperate for them. At the same time, those things need not be relevant to you otherwise but that that particular moment in time.
On the one hand, a man in the cold winter night, out on the road can be desperate for a cup of steaming hot coffee while another can be desperate for the loving warmth of a loved one.
So many times, in my despair and my grief I had been desperate for something I could never have. I was desperate for my fathers loving embrace. I was desperate to hear him retake my name, to hear his voice boom in my house. I was aching to listen to the sound of his footfalls and the screeching halt of his car tyres. I was yearning for him to come and tell me all the unspoken things that I was feeling but was unable to say. That was more than six years ago, but even today there are days when I feel that I need him to come and tell me he is proud of me, that he is happy to see me evolving.
I was unwell a little while ago; those were the times of fear and gloom for me. I am somewhat of a hypochondriac, and that makes me needing someone to assure me again and again that everything will be alright. Those were the days I was yelling in my soul, screaming silently for my father. I was anguished for him, I needed him by my side, holding my hand and calming my fears.
Different people are desperate for different things at the different point of time. But none of us, trust me, none of us has been untouched by Desperation.
While a child is desperate for friends and company, a newly married couple feels the same for solitude. Where deaf crave to hear some noise, the normal want to shut their ears and block out all sound. While a tired man wants to sleep, a bored man is in need of work. I am in the city, and I am desperate for the simple village life, and my cousin in the village wants to switch places with me.
I am too small to explain such a huge phenomenon, but what I do know is that to be desperate is hard work. It is something you do 24/7 because you just can’t stop until you have acquired the object of your despondency. And if for one reason or another you are unable to have it, you can sink into deep depression and discomfort. It is a very consuming aspect as we can’t just shake it off.
Despairing for simple things like food, water, shelter and money can be met with sooner, but aspirations like love, happiness, contentment, possession, fame and success can lead us to live half a life that is full of nothing but long mourning of the unrealised desires of our proverbial heart. Everything good and positive in us is replaced by melancholy, pain, sorrow and unhappiness. It can make us lose our confidence and our empathy.
I would suggest you all be Desperate and to be desperate enough but to channel that energy into your goals and your purposes and your aims. There will be no use sitting in the confinement of your house and pacing your room while rubbing your knuckles. What will give you peace, reserve, harmony and stability is a greater understanding, knowledge with which we need to sort the things in our list of desires and rule out the entries that are unrealistic, unworkable and nonsensical.
Be Passionate. Be Driven. Not Desperate !
Born and brought up in a lower middle class family, Sahil was always desperate to become a rich man. Though he never used unfair means in his life, he envied people travelling in luxurious cars and wearing plush brands. All he wanted was money, a lot of money. With his hard work and effort, he got a decent job in an MNC. His parents asked him to get married, but he refused, saying his earning was too less. His endeavour awarded him a job abroad. Scared of the outside world and their old age, his poor parents didn’t want him to leave. “Let me just earn good bucks, then I will take you to places in my Lamborghini”, he said. His innocent parents couldn’t even pronounce the word LAMBORGHINI properly, but gave their blessings for his new venture.
Years passed, the old eyes kept waiting for their son, but Sahil wanted to earn more. “Just 2 more years papa, and I will be able to buy that car”, Sahil said over one of the phone calls to his father. By the time he returned back to his home, his father had got a massive stroke and his body was paralysed. He got him treated in the one of the best hospitals, but the damage could not be reverted. “He wanted to dance at your wedding,” Sahil’s mom wailed.
With the latest I-phone in hand and suited in Armani, Sahil brought his parents back from the hospital in his Lamborghini. But, throughout the way, he kept on thinking about what his desperation had cost him.
A couple of days back, I read an amazing article on Sindhutai Sapkal, who’s India’s mother of orphans. Her ordeal started when she was just 10, forcefully married to a 20 year old man. She was thrown out of the house when she was 9 months pregnant, at 19, and delivered in a cow shed. Instead of sanitized medical scissors, she had to cut the umbilical cord with a rock lying there. Too weak and hungry, Sindhutai was desperately in search for food. She took shelter in a crematorium, and took the flour offered to the dead bodies, kneaded it and baked a chapatti over the fire of the burning dead body. She later found that she wasn’t alone on the streets. So, she started begging and procuring food for the orphans and became a mother for them. She has adopted more than 1200 orphans and has opened orphanage homes as well. Sindhutai could have ended up her life in desperation that day, but she got inspired to help others survive as well.
“Don’t allow your thoughts of frustration allow you to make decisions out of desperations.”- DeWayne Owens
I rightly remember the time I discovered the passion to write. It was the time when I was struggling in motherhood. Even the slightest sight of my daughter in pain was making me vulnerable. My brain began to think deeply and thoughts clouded up, which was, in fact, projecting my imagination. I was actually living in a world where the truth and my thoughts mismatched. It was when I decided that to silence my thoughts, I would better put my silent mind into the words I wish to speak out.
At times it is my child who awakens the world of letters in me that let me pen down my thoughts. My initial writings were mostly in the thought process as a new mother. Spreading what I am experiencing, my struggles, my happiness, my worries etc. became a part and parcel of my daily life.
I always loved traveling, exploring the nature, watching the best of it could deliver to me. I always dreamt of the world where I would be just living soaked in the beauty of nature rather than the life amongst the skyscrapers, high rise buildings, pollution etc. I am pretty sure, most of us have the same vision of a peaceful life. It was when I decided to be little more poetic ( of course I never knew I was going poetic until my good wishers told me ). It was indeed a surprise for me.
I look at every thing around me, with a positive attitude. Everything around me inspires. Even a movie scene or a word spoken anything and everything around me ignite the writer in me. The time I decided to pursue my passion to write more poems, I decided to choose “Love” as my topic, it was pretty valentines day, that changed my life. Words became my life by then.
I always strongly believe to live the life unplanned. There is no excitement in a planned life. It is the same with my words too, I do not plan ahead, as anything can inspire me to write down.
Like the touch of the wind
whispering of the leaves
like the morning dew
The cuddling of your arms
the tears that roll down your cheeks
the lovely smile
the wrinkles of old age
the innocent kisses from the little child
everything brings out the best in me
oh my World around me
you are my inspiration
you are the world to me.