TELLING LIES? NO, PAPA …

My mom is an ardent believer of God. She spends hours praying, she follows all the rules and regulations meticulously not questioning why they even exist. I am the other way, I do believe in God, my prayers last for mere minutes, question the customs when needed. I always tell her, “70% of people who are regularly worshiping, visiting temples are actually afraid of God for the sins they have committed. Only 30% people really believe in Him and submit themselves”. While I say this I feel very guilty sometimes because I also commit sin, sin of lying knowingly and may be others unknowingly … My moral values are in question, lying is such a sin…

Few weeks back I had a bad fight with my dear buddy and if I tell you the reason why I had such a big fight it might sound silly. I was angry because he never told me that he underwent a surgery. Well, this definitely sounds silly even to me now, but at that time it didn’t. I was raging with anger because often we talk and share a lot of things, I wondered what has stopped him from sharing about his surgery.

The exact reason why I was so deeply hurt is because, whenever I ask him “How are you doing?” , he would always say, “I am good”, that sounded like a lie. Though on one side he was saying it was a very minor surgery, I just couldn’t handle it, I was in no mood to listen to whatever he was saying, we ended up in a fight. This happens to me when people I really love and care about are involved in such situations. My heart aches to an extent I cannot even control it… The feeling of being unaware of the pain a loved one is going through is in-explainable.

This incident made me realize how my lie could hurt others badly. Haven’t understood what I meant ? 

Johny Johny! Yes, Papa

Eating sugar? No, papa

Telling lies? No, Papa

Open your mouth! Ha! Ha!! Ha!!!

This poem is not new to us, we have learnt it, we have taught our children and I am sure such a short and sweet poem would mark it’s prominence to future generations. In this rhyme, little Johny will eat sugar and lie to his daddy. This rhyme teaches children, telling lies is not appreciated. 

They say truth hurts, but sometimes lie hurts more than the truth… Very simple lies we say everyday are very good examples.

I am liar myself. I easily say the following lies:

  • I am good/okay – answer for “how are you doing ?”, now you can guess why I was so concerned and was furious. 
  • I am not hurt because of what you said, it’s ok – answer for “Are you hurt ?”
  • I will be able to finish this work in one hour – This is a lie I tell myself. Over confidence on self 
  • I can handle this situation alone – when I know I really cannot, but don’t want to seek help.

My authenticity is lost, when my loved ones find out the truth…

Some times when we lie, our intent may be noble, but all lies have repercussions. I have started lying when I was a small kid. It all started for hiding my wounds from my parents, not that they would be angry on me, but just not to hurt them. Blood stains on my school shirt or handkerchief would reveal the truth to my mom, and my lie is caught. I used to fall sick quite often, in general my immunity levels are low. If I say I have fever, my parents may not allow me to appear for the exam, so I would lie and it gets caught in school. Even then, if my parents ask me if I had fever when I left for school, I would say “No”, another lie.

One lie leads to another. Thankfully I have not fallen prey, I maintained the consistency,. In my dad words about me, I lie only about my health or heartache, it is impossible for anyone to not believe it or get suspicious… This is my basic nature. I want everyone around me to be happy, and I don’t want to be the reason of their worry.

Dishonesty leads to a variety of negative results, including broken trust, destroyed relationships, lost jobs, and even illegal activities . So why do people lie? Most people lie in order to make themselves look better, to avoid hurting people’s feelings, or personal gain. 

According to child psychologists, it may not be serious concern if children lie at the age of 4 – 6, but post that we need to pay attention. As we grow, we become proficient in lying. Slowly, the disparity between petty lies and truth fades off. With every lie brain becomes accustomed and we don’t feel ashamed of lying, we frequently lie. 

Lying is a sin. Lying is never ideal. We shall get rid of this habit if we lie even for small things that can be managed with truth. I am trying my level best to not lie. I am sure my loved ones now get to listen things that they have never anticipated from me. Uttering truth has gotten me off the burden of lie, a lie also needs more efforts than truth. 

I never want to stand in the prayer hall and pray the deity to forgive my lies again, instead I would request to find strength to be able to say the truth. 

Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable

IS IT MAGIC OR IS THERE SOME LOGIC ???

As a child I always used to wonder if this universe is a magic. It actually started with one silly thought of mine. When the physics teacher was explaining the solar system, I stared at the picture that was printed in my text book. If the earth is round  and human beings live on all sides of it, imagine people living on the south and north poles of it, especially the south one, people are actually standing upside down :-). Later I learnt, it’s all relative to the force binding us to earth. It is so astonishing that there is sun which with it’s gravitational force binds all the planets, planets with their gravitational force bind their moons.

The Earth rotates on its axis, so the whole surface is warmed and cooled once a day every day. If it didn’t rotate, one side would be permanently hot, and the other cold. It is at an angle (23.5°) to the sun, which gives us our seasons. The earth is the right size. If it was bigger, gravity would be much stronger, and we wouldn’t be able to move. If it was smaller and gravity was weaker, it wouldn’t hold our oceans.

Wow!! I just mean wow. There are solar systems which are part of galaxies and many such galaxies form the universe. One or more of the planets may have life on them just like earth does. Life that doesn’t belong to the so called earth that we know of is called alien life. If some other planet has life similar to us who can think and create wonders, would they be also referring to us as, aliens ?? What happens if humans get to meet extraterrestrial life ?

There is the Big Bang theory, the big bang from which this entire universe originated. Black holes that can take in anything and everything into them. Most of the matter that enters a black hole ends up in a singularity. However, some black holes reach a theoretical mass limit and, when they do, they fire out excess matter in jets of radiation, known as Hawking Radiation.

Like humans and other species have a life cycle, stars are also born and they die. The only way for us to know the birth or death of a star is the radiation it emits. Everything in this universe is measured in light years. Light holds the key in understanding this universe. It is so amazing how light can help us reconstruct what has been created for us. That actually brings me to my next wonder, light.

Few weeks ago, I read an interesting journal about how human brain processes images. Imagine two people standing at a landscape. Naturally the beauty mesmerizes us, but there is so much processing involved before we can see what’s there in the landscape. Every color has a different frequency, so when the reflection of light from the landscape falls on the retina, human brain starts to process each and every frequency that originated from the landscape. This is the exact same principle on which DSLR’s are made and many of you may be aware of it. The most interesting point of the article that really made me wonder is that, seems no two human brains process the same landscape/image exactly the same way.  There would be minor distortions, but if the two people express their thoughts on what they see, they won’t be able to find the difference with human naked eye.  

Human brain controls everything in our body, it is the driving force behind every activity and our reactions. Brain controls not only the physical part of our body but the emotional part of it too. On a emotional scale, everyone of us are different. 

Who programmed human brain ? It is just as inserting a USB drive to a computer and installing an operating system that exactly works the same way (provided the hardware configuration is same) on all the computers it is installed. The logic and the output always are the same. It is just wonderful how we humans have been programmed to be so. If we are really programmed, who programmed us ? 

Space has been wondering me for many years now and my quest to understand it never seems to be coming to an end. I have so many questions to find answers for. I believe in logic and it is extremely hard for me to accept anything that doesn’t fit into some logic. It’s all physics, the law of forces and transformation of energy. But, how and why ?? 

Do you know what is the biggest wonder of all ? The conditions that can support life,  when compared to the existence of our universe with respect to time/light years are fractions of a second. It’s just a flash of time where life can come into existence and ceases out as the conditions worn out. We humans, now are currently living in such a golden period of time. The miracle is happening right now in the milky way, in a solar system which is centered by sun on a wonderful place called earth, where you and I live. We are living in the most precious place at the most precious time.

I have written this article and you are reading it, was it already programmed to have happened this way !? I don’t know !! Do you ?

MINDFUL ABOUT MONEY OR MONEY MINDED?

Is it wrong to be money-minded?

 Umm….. Let’s find out!!!

Money and Man always co-exist. Without money it’s quite difficult to navigate our daily lives. Money is one of the basic needs of survival. Some earn money toiling day and night, some have got it in heritage, some acquire it through illicit means and some snatch it over-night. It’s up to us how to make money and why to make money.

Money is a blessing to all who hold it! When a child gets his pocket-money, it’s a blessing for him to buy chocolates/gifts for his friends and family. When an employee gets his salary, it’s a blessing for him to serve his family and friends. When an old man gets his pension, it’s a blessing for him for which he toiled from his 20s to 60s.

Then how come we can consider “Money minded” in negative terms?

Though money is a blessing for us, still at times it blurs our eyes. It’s not the physical eyes that goes blur; it’s the perception of our soul, heart and mind. Then money becomes everything for us. We forget about love, relationships, loyalty, identity and all other things that can separate us from evil.

Once Mr. Gates went to a Restaurant and after having food, he gave $5 to the waiter as tip. The waiter had a strange look on his face after the tip. Gates realized and asked the waiter “what happened”. The waiter replied, “I’m just amazed because on the same table Mr. Rory gave a tip of $500, but you his father, the richest man in the world, only gave me $5.” Gates smiled and said, “He is the son of the world’s richest man, but I am the son of a wood cutter”.

Every time I came across this story, one thing always hitches my attention. “Mr. Gates is the richest man on earth but he has never forgotten what his identity is!” But what happens mostly – we forget our identity. When I started my job life, my uncle (who is my counselor, motivator and beloved) gave me two best advice and one of them is “Never forget your identity”. It means you might become a big brand but what matters is WHO YOU ARE not where you are.

Once a very rich man asked Jesus, “Teacher, I want to be your follower”. Then Jesus said, “Obey my commandments” and he said I am doing that since my childhood, what more I shall do? Jesus said, “Go and sell all your properties and distribute the money among the poor”. Immediately the rich man went away from Jesus with a fallen face.

We might have a lot of money, but that is never capable to AFFORD us God and righteousness. The love for money didn’t let the rich man follow Jesus, it became harder for him to distribute his money among the poor. When we fall into love with money, the root of evil springs up in our lives to devour us from the love of God and to distract us with all illicit pleasure which not only jeopardizes our sacred rights but also others.

Mr. Ratan Tata donates 66% of his profit right away for the Philanthropic efforts, which makes his personal worth somewhere mere $600 million. He has not touched the top 10 richest persons list globally, but yes he has touched many lives.

Having Skyscrapers, Bugatti Veyron, Choppers & billion digit savings can make someone richest person but can’t make greatest person. WHY YOU HAVE matters more than What You Have. Personal savings can bring smile on your face but cannot bring smile on other person’s face. It’s good to save money but it’s best to invest money on people more than your savings.

When it becomes difficult to evaluate – “Am I money-minded or not?” that time ask yourself 4 BIG questions;

√ Is MONEY my Strength/Weakness?

√  Is MONEY my Blessing/Curse?

√ Is MONEY my Friend/Foe?

√ Is MONEY my Television/Remote Controller?

  • Money as my Strength/Weakness:

Our generation often quotes, “I work for money, if you want loyalty hire a dog!” Such mindset clearly portrays our picture. Here money is not our strength, it’s our weakness. Such a person lives to earn money not earn money to live life, which is too dangerous.

  • Money as my Blessing/Curse:

Our generation often quotes, “No Money, No Honey. Money hai toh life mein mazza hai”! Such statements are completely wrong. Money is of course a blessing to our lives, but falling in love with it brings curse to our lives. Money becomes CURSE to our lives, when it masters our lives. That’s why P.T. Barnum has rightly said, “Money is an excellent servant but a terrible master”.

  • Money as my Friend/Foe:

Our generation often quotes, “Jeb mein paisa ho toh, sub apko Bhai, Bhai bolenge” (When there is money in your pocket, people will call your Brother). Yah…. In today’s context, I agree with the statement upto some point. But meanwhile we should not forget two things;

  1. Those who make friendships with us because of our money, are not at all true friends. They are selfish and greedy people, for whom relationship/s is all about getting benefits.
  2. Money makes friendships and  also breaks friendships.

“Friendship and Money are like Oil and Water”. It is high-time for us to check-out whether our money works as our friend or our foe. Is money working as my friend to get some more good and true friends or it is working as an enemy in my friendship!

  • Money as my Television/Remote Controller:

Our generation often quotes, “My Money on my Mind… my Mind on my Money!” It’s quite applicable to the relation between a Television and it’s Remote Controller. Remote Controller helps us to control the technology of Television and tune ourselves to our desirable programs. Suppose the Television will not be compatible with the Remote Controller, what will happen next? Can we tune ourselves easily with our desirable programs? Will we have pleasant time with our television? Exactly like that Money is our Television and our mind is the Remote Controller. Till we are mindful about our money we can spent it wisely and life will be easy and pleasant but when our mind will be fooled by money (I mean our money will control our mind), that time life will be ruined.

Till our mind dictates our Money, it’s okay. But when Money starts dictating our mind, it becomes high-time for us to pause for a while, cross-check our life, work and transactions in all aspects and reboot ourselves again, cleaning the virus which has fooled our mind by money.

Being mindful about money is not wrong. Money-minded is wrong!

God bless you!

MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT SUICIDE

I have heard some people saying, “I feel like committing suicide.” Even sometimes I had utter words like that, “Ufff… I really don’t want to live anymore…” And usually we think that whoever says like this will never do it in reality. But it is a wrong thinking. The statistics reveal that the people who have committed suicide had talked about it before committing it.

We should be then careful about this thinking and shouldn’t take it for granted.

Sometimes I have seen and heard people saying that, “We had no clue or haven’t seen any signs before her/his death.” That’s actually not true. Because there will be definitely signs or tendencies visible in a person who commits suicide.

We just need to be alert about it. That’s possible if we really care about our loved ones and attached to them.

Sometimes we think that people who are weak and could not tolerate the pain and suffering they commit suicide. But the fact is when the situation for them becomes intolerable they think of quitting. Who doesn’t want to live? It is very rare that a drunkard committed suicide. I have seen higher ranked government officials who used to be very strong in their personality had committed suicide.  

Let’s stop assessing people and what they go through because of our preconceptions about suicide.

Sometimes we might think that people who are suicidal doesn’t want to live anymore. They don’t understand the value of life. Actually most of them want to live but because of the pain they go through and for some chemical imbalances in the brain they commit suicide.

We need to realize considering our own feelings that everybody wants to live but nobody wants to be in pain.

There’s also a thinking that people who are suicidal doesn’t seek any help and they try to drag themselves to some kind of solitude before they attempt. The truth is usually they seek help but lose hope when they don’t see empathy around them.

We really need to be watchful around and within our friend or family circle to extend help as my co-author Aastha expressed her heart yesterday in her write up saying: This taught me the biggest lesson of my life, to be able to be there for a loved one, any time they need me, literally ANYTIME.”  

Are we ready to work on these facts and ready to EMPATHIZE ANYTIME?

Keep thinking and keep reading…

Stay Blessed!!!