Quote of the day

Learn to overcome your fear in order to face the challenges life long.

 

FEARS AND CHOICES

Fear is very unpleasant to all who experience it. It makes oneself very vulnerable to the world, and no one likes the same. This week, we are discussing the different kinds of Fears and Phobias, and today I am going to share one of them. I would like to talk about a fear called “Claustrophobia”, which is an extreme and irrational fear of confined spaces. The person experiencing this, when stuck in a confined space, experiences dizziness, blackouts and severe panic.

I, myself have never experienced the phobia but I am going to share the experience of my husband. Recently, we were going to a friends place for a visit. While going to the elevator, the watchman came running and told us that, at times the elevator does get stuck in the middle and you have to push some button to make it move again. We stood there for some time thinking if we could just climb the stairs. But to the top floor!!! It wasn’t really a good idea as we had our baby with us. We took the lift, and I was subconsciously asking God to take us directly to the top floor. And just then the lights went off! And we stood there. We weren’t even halfway through. I told my husband to call our friend and I just looked at him. He was in shock! All frozen, sweaty and he couldn’t even pull his phone out of his pocket. Before I could tell him anything, the current came back and the lift started moving. Only after we reached, did he take his sigh of relief. 

It’s not only lifts that makes these people feel so uneasy. It can be a simple bedsheet covering the head or getting locked inside your very own room feeling stuck. Even the mosquitoes nets, a long tight hug, no windows in a room, or an MRI machine, etc. Its all in his head and he loves to keep it. Well, it is his fear! Similarly, for me, I am scared of accidents and it is called “Dystychiphobia”. I am in a panic every time the vehicle touches a speed of 60 and above. I do try to control this fear but many a time I surrender to the panic.

I personally feel that sometimes surrendering to the panic and going with the flow always soothes us, and later it calms us as well. If we do not do anything about it, it might haunt us that we could have fought back. It is in a way, we fighting with our own self to be less vulnerable to others in keeping the sane mind intact. It is when we try too much and fail to control those emotions, that we expose the most intricate and raw self of ours.

Many people are strong enough to control their emotions and fears, and give life a chance. Many aren’t that strong. But God always helps us find our peace of mind and also help us find ways to avoid situations. Facing fears and running from it are the choices life gives us. But only God can help us choose what is good for that situation. It is what the great leader Nelson Mandela once said, “May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears.”

FACE YOUR FEAR

“I can’t sleep alone in my room mumma” said Saksham my 6.5 year old whom we are trying to sleep train alone in his room, “monsters trouble me, so I can’t sleep alone”. “Face your fear son and you will feel strong, that’s the only way to accomplish things in life”. He did understand whatever 30-40 minutes chat we had and he did sleep in his room. He had a broad smile on his face the next day morning – “I did it mumma, I faced my fear”. Next we went to Adventure Park, Saksham was not allowed on one of the roller coaster because of his height, and I was too scared to even give it a try, “I can’t do it Saksham, mumma is really scared of rides”, Saksham took my hand in his and looked me into my eyes and said “Face your fear mumma, you can do it!”, and I did it and me and Saksham celebrated the overcoming of fear with a smoothie. It was such a great feeling of accomplishment.

That’s when I realized how important it is to face your fears. Sometimes life throws situations at us that we are just not ready to face, but we have to overcome the fear and face the situations in order to walk ahead in life. There are many fears that we have – as a toddler we have fear to fall but we learn to walk only when we overcome that fear. We get hurt in the process, bruised at times but then we accomplish it and walk ahead with head held high.

There would have been someone who would have had fear to fall from the sky, yet they invented airplane, someone would have had the fear to sink, yet they would have achieved depths inside the ocean, someone would have been afraid to climb the mountains, yet they faced the storms and reached the peak.

To sum it all up, sky is limit for any of us- just face your fear and March ahead in life with head held high and leaving footprints behind and creating wonderful memories through the journey!!!

EVERY STAGE OF LIFE IS A FEAR TO CONQUER

Fear 

She sat looking at the glow

the glow that was glittering like gold

the glow that was shimmering like a star

she crawled and crawled

trying to reach out to that star

approaching it, she had the triumph smile on her face

she extended her tender hands towards it

all she wants to do was to grab it

hold it in her hand

enjoy it sparkle in her fist

like the star in the night sky

as she touched it

There was a scream

A scream that brought her to tears

It was the incense stick…

that brought her pain……..

Did she stop yet?

Never, She still moved on, trying everything she could find on her way up growing to be a sensible female. Fear stops us from doing things that we must not be doing, yet we end up doing the same.

As a kid, I used to scared of public appearances. I was little timid myself, but there was a push in me that led me to shed my fears and let me walk onto the stage.

Every age level, I had some kind of fear disturbing me, and every milestone was conquering them. Hence without a conflict with my fear within, there was no going forward in my life.

At 17, I was scared of my hostel, as I had to stay away from my parents.

At 20, I was scared to get married, As I never intended to lose my freedom

At 23, I was scared of family responsibilities, as I felt I was immature to manage

Growing up was indeed a challenge, we all have to face. Responsibilities are a mountain terrain we ought to climb at least one point in life, dealing with it is an everyday fear.

But do we have an escape?

No, I believe,  taking up these small challenges will give you an adventurous life (be it small or big).

Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life. – Donald Miller

Fear is a natural instinct, that is inbuilt in us, from the time we were born. Like a response to stimuli, when our brain senses danger, the fear awakens. Hence Fear is a faithful companion till the end of life for us. As the final fear we have is the “end-of-life” and overcoming it is the death.

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For me, the most creeping phobia is the  Claustrophobia – fear of enclosed spaces.

As a child, I never slept close to the walls. Thanks to the Dracula movies which I used to watch back then, the scary hands and faces that bulge out in the walls, have always scared me to the core. As I fall asleep, I used to dream of those scary things jumping up from here and there and troubling my peaceful sleep. I even wondered Why did I ever watch those movies then.

And yes, still I haven’t overcome that fear, hence sleeping at the edge is the only solution. 😛

To lead a happy life we need to overcome all our fears and learn from mistakes and play the game called life wisely. As everything we need is gained only when we face the fear.

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Choosing to be a mom, brining up a child is also fighting a kind of fear within us. We have to battle every day with our conscience and thoughts to be a better mom. At times we confront the truths as our child behaves exactly like us – leaving us  totally confused and ashamed. We realize our mistakes then, but again the Fear of being exposed in front of them, leads us to hide the truth at times. Choosing to be brave enough to rectify mistakes and overcoming the fear is rather important.

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Hence choose to be stronger and wiser.

Blow away your aversion and walk towards your future. 

OVERCOME YOUR FEAR – JUST FACE IT

“Hey! You missed the U-turn!” Startled, I told Anuj. It was one of those pleasure bike rides which Anuj and I used to take whenever we had loads to talk about or on the days when there was simply nothing to chat about. We used to head towards the Rajpur Road in Dehradun and take a u-turn when the road diverged. The straight road headed to Mussoorie , a hill station and so was a hilly terrain.  Anuj knew I was scared of the zig-zag bends and that too on a bike was just off limits for me.

But today, Anuj was heading straight and it seemed my voice was falling on deaf ears. “Since you are afraid of hilly terrain on bike, I am going to remove that fear in you today”, he said finally. I sat, stunned and thought it’s going to be the last day of my life! My heart would sink on every blind turn that we took. We had crossed the halfway to the hill station and I thought this mad guy is going to take me to Mussoorie. But, to be honest, I gradually had started enjoying this adventurous ride. The cool breeze and the picturesque view faded away my fears. When I told him that I am not afraid anymore, he stopped the bike to return back.

Years later, when we came together in the wedlock, we had to take a flight. Yes, that was my another  fear- fear of flying! I dreaded vomiting and nausea feeling. But, even during the turbulent weather, I was perfectly fine (though I didn’t leave Anuj’s hand and kept chanting my prayer)!

One thing that my life partner has taught me is to overcome a fear by facing it.  You are afraid of your fear because you don’t know what it is like. The moment you experience it, you overcome it.

You will laugh if I tell you that I was afraid of getting pregnant because of vomiting throughout and the labor pains at the time of delivery. Yet, I managed to overcome these fears and had 2 normal deliveries!

There’s a brilliant bollywood movie- Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara which inspires you to overcome your fears by dealing with them. It tells us that we have, but one life, so don’t be afraid, just let it go…